At 12 I started to have acne (face, neck, head, back, shoulders and chest; not everywhere at once, with time it was progressing) and once during PE my friend pointed it to me and I started to be conscoius of it. My thoughts - they're looking at me and thinking I was disgusting and they didn't want to look at me. I had few close freinds and was just living in seclusion. In high school same situation. In 2017 started taking strong pills and in april 2018 I had 0 acne, but I was still the same person as before. During 4 years in school I didn't went out ecen once wherever, I just watched yt, anime and read a lot of books and light novels. Graduated school 3 years ago and because of my nice parents I didn't do anything during these years.
Adding a few points:
-never had gf and didn't do anything with a girl
-because of lack of social exposure I have difficult times just picking up my phone, calling someone, eating in public or holding eye contact with family (with strangers I can do it)
On the positive note last year I approached 3 women
1st: -hey, how are you -she stopped walking looked at me and I said -you're [name}, rght? She looked at me weirdly and started walking again.
2nd: saw this red haired girl enter the store in the mall, was waiting for her for a while but I just left and after few minutes I saw her walking in my directions and when she was close I said -hey, I don't want to be weird (or something like that) but I like your hair -thank you [moment of silence] -Were you inspired by something? -no, just like that [moment of silence] anything else? -no, it's everything bye
3rd: same mall one month later I saw this girl in one place, walked 3 circles around the mall and and in the same place I went in -hey, I feel like I'm going to regret it later if I don't do it so I wanted to say you're really pretty -thank you (she was really smiling looking at her skin around eyes) but I have a boyfreind -oh, ok, that's fine
07 August 2023, I got a job (or rather an intership) , pay is horrible so I want to change it
11 August 2023 Complimented 1 girl, she didn't say anyting and looked at me like I was a bug
12 August 2023 All about being willing to look stupid - approached a girl who was with a friend, said she was pretty, names exchange,
what they were doing and I didn't know what to say so I just left
19 August 2023 Approached 1 girl - her looks didn't match her age
25 August 2023 Approached 1 girl, only small talk
At my current job (still intership) I need to pick up phones and sometimes call others so it's became easier for me
26 August 2023 I had one chance to talk but didn't do it. In nearest town there is an event so I'm going to try do something tomorrow.
