GN44's Progress Log

[GN44]

I meant to post this when it happened but I got busy with school shit so I procrastinated on writing this. But I managed to get it done.

Date Log: Middle Eastern Fashionista from Hinge

This date was quite a short one since she had some meeting she had to go to at 5, but she made it clear she really didn’t want to cancel on me.

The date was at 4PM. I initially wanted to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription before the date but the line was kinda long so I left and just went to the date spot. I got there at like 3:50 and found a table. The girl showed up around 4. Greeted her with a hug and she told me about how she really didn’t want to cancel on me and was sorry that she had to keep it short due to her meeting.

I found this girl really cute. Middle eastern chicks are underrated af ngl. She had some visible acne but she had nice hair, lips, and she wore a turtleneck that showed cleavage which was hot imo. I complimented her outfit and she said “thank you” in a really cute tone. This girl absolutely accessorymogged me lol. She had like four rings, two bracelets, a pendant, and some earrings. Meanwhile all I had was my ring and my lapis pendant. I actually thought this was a good thing though as I could use them as points of reference to break the touch barrier.

Eye contact was pretty strong during the date although during some rambles she would look away but this could be just something all girls do.

Fashion was a big thing we talked about during the date. And since she was super passionate about it I was able to throw out teases like how she could be a personal stylist and other related stuff. This was where I touched her hands and asked about her rings “what’s the story behind these”.

Eye contact also seems to be generally stronger when I get her talking about things she likes. At least one good piece of advice I’ve gotten from women is that they like when guys ask about their hobbies.

I segued into talking about what I was passionate about which was cooking. She also talked about food she liked. I’ve noticed I’m able to tease and bounce off a girl better when I can get her talking about something she’s passionate about. Otherwise it feels like I’m throwing shit at a wall. Did my usual where I show her some of the stuff I made on my phone and I put my arm around her.

During the whole date she was generally facing me so body language didn’t set off any alarms either.

After that there is a bit of a silence so I decide to point out her phone because it looks modern but it’s a flip phone. I just ask about what kind of phone it is and she starts talking about it like she’s tryna sell me the phone. I call that out in a jokey way and ofc we just kinda play off of that while she talks about how cool it is.

I asked her how long she had been on Hinge for and she said she’s only been on a few weeks. Her friend made her a profile while she was drunk. I probed a bit deeper into her relationship past and she’s just not dated much at all, especially over her college years. Her friends were saying that she needs to get out there and date. Apparently I’m the first guy she’s ever met off an app. I don’t really think much of this.

She finishes her drink and we decide to head out of the place since I finished too and it’s getting close to the time she said she needed to go at. Her electric scooter is close by so I just walk her to there. We hold hands, talk a bit and she tells me what this meeting she has to go to is about. We get to her scooter and exchange leaving pleasantries. I ended up going in for the kiss and she does have a bit of a small reaction to it. It didn’t seem negative. I just thought it was a reaction of surprise because she hasn’t been on a date in years.


Post date:

I went to the gym right after and I noticed on Hinge she unmatched me. Then I checked Instagram and she said she wasn’t interested in seeing me again. I asked for feedback and she said she felt uncomfortable with me touching her back and giving her a goodbye kiss. I told her I understand and I’ll keep stuff like this in mind for future dates. I think she blocked me right after though.

Fodu told me she could just be comfort cuck. I’ve done this basic escalation routine with other girls and they have been cool with it, I have a routine around escalation because I don’t want to stir the pot an insane amount. Subtle hand touches and arm around at least the way I see it puts a “you and me” frame for comfort rather than a “I want to fuck the shit out of you” frame. I’m too noob to be too sexual right off the bat. @Antonio44 if you want to weigh in too I’d appreciate your feedback as well.

[foducossy42]

I was able to throw out teases like how she could be a personal stylist and other related stuff.

How is this a tease

At least one good piece of advice I’ve gotten from women is that they like when guys ask about their hobbies.

Sure but why

The reason is that you get her in a positive mood when she talks about her hobbies

Fodu told me she could just be comfort cuck. I’ve done this basic escalation routine with other girls and they have been cool with it, I have a routine around escalation because I don’t want to stir the pot an insane amount

Yah I think this is a weird exception, you can ignore it until it becomes a pattern. She does seem hypercomfort, a kiss usually means nothing to girls.

Try to add in thigh touches and arm around the waist, hand on her back. Just force yourself to do it. Usually thigh touch is the first thing I do with a girl tbh.

[Squilliam]

This date was quite a short one since she had some meeting she had to go to at 5, but she made it clear she really didn’t want to cancel on me.

I would've rescheduled this tbh. If a girl only is giving me an hour, there is basically gonna be no chance of trying to pull, even if your logistics are extremely good. Also, something I've learned is that if you're trying to fuck on the first date, you should basically always be going for night time dates only. But her giving you only an hour? That's not a good sign. I personally would take that as a cuck signal but I have a bad habit of jumping to that conclusion very easily so take that with a grain of salt.

Yah I think this is a weird exception, you can ignore it until it becomes a pattern. She does seem hypercomfort, a kiss usually means nothing to girls.

If I recall correctly, GN had another girl tell him something similar recently. It's a sign that he's probably escalating in a way that is uncalibrated, or he's doing it when they're non-compliant.

A kiss really does mean nothing. The difference in compliance required for a kiss versus sex is huge. I don't get laid that much but I've gotten tons and tons of makeouts.

[foducossy42]

But her giving you only an hour? That's not a good sign.

Yes I’d have rescheduled this too.

If I recall correctly, GN had another girl tell him something similar recently. It's a sign that he's probably escalating in a way that is uncalibrated, or he's doing it when they're non-compliant.

Probably when non-compliant, so maybe add more kino to the escalation stack.

Regardless. 2 girls is still not a trend. Need more data.

[GN44]

I was able to throw out teases like how she could be a personal stylist and other related stuff.

How is this a tease

At least one good piece of advice I’ve gotten from women is that they like when guys ask about their hobbies.

Sure but why

The reason is that you get her in a positive mood when she talks about her hobbies

Fodu told me she could just be comfort cuck. I’ve done this basic escalation routine with other girls and they have been cool with it, I have a routine around escalation because I don’t want to stir the pot an insane amount

Yah I think this is a weird exception, you can ignore it until it becomes a pattern. She does seem hypercomfort, a kiss usually means nothing to girls.

Try to add in thigh touches and arm around the waist, hand on her back. Just force yourself to do it. Usually thigh touch is the first thing I do with a girl tbh.

Yeah probably wasn't a tease. I said something about how all her friends must go to her for fashion advice and that she should drop her chemistry major if its a slog (cuz she was telling me about how much she hates some of her classes) and become a personal stylist in a playful kind of way.

How do you calibrate thigh touches? Up until now if I do go for the thigh its usually after the shoulder and I just move my arm down across her back to her thigh.

[GN44]

This date was quite a short one since she had some meeting she had to go to at 5, but she made it clear she really didn’t want to cancel on me.

I would've rescheduled this tbh. If a girl only is giving me an hour, there is basically gonna be no chance of trying to pull, even if your logistics are extremely good. Also, something I've learned is that if you're trying to fuck on the first date, you should basically always be going for night time dates only. But her giving you only an hour? That's not a good sign. I personally would take that as a cuck signal but I have a bad habit of jumping to that conclusion very easily so take that with a grain of salt.

Yah I think this is a weird exception, you can ignore it until it becomes a pattern. She does seem hypercomfort, a kiss usually means nothing to girls.

If I recall correctly, GN had another girl tell him something similar recently. It's a sign that he's probably escalating in a way that is uncalibrated, or he's doing it when they're non-compliant.

A kiss really does mean nothing. The difference in compliance required for a kiss versus sex is huge. I don't get laid that much but I've gotten tons and tons of makeouts.

I did try but she said her next week is incredibly busy too cuz exams. If I waited too long she'd move on.

@Squilliam which girl? Only ones I can think of are that cuck Indian girl who was looking for sugar daddies and that chubby east asian. Chubby East asian made sense as I was far too pushy. Indian girl just said some shit about how she wants a serious guy. I wasn't insanely pushy with the Indian girl cuz of how many cuck barriers she put up.

[Squilliam]

I did try but she said her next week is incredibly busy too cuz exams. If I waited too long she'd move on.

@Squilliam which girl? Only ones I can think of are that cuck Indian girl who was looking for sugar daddies and that chubby east asian. Chubby East asian made sense as I was far too pushy. Indian girl just said some shit about how she wants a serious guy. I wasn't insanely pushy with the Indian girl cuz of how many cuck barriers she put up.

That's just a bad look, even if the first date went well there's a good chance the second date could've been sabotaged.

I think it was the asian girl.

[GN44]

I did try but she said her next week is incredibly busy too cuz exams. If I waited too long she'd move on.

@Squilliam which girl? Only ones I can think of are that cuck Indian girl who was looking for sugar daddies and that chubby east asian. Chubby East asian made sense as I was far too pushy. Indian girl just said some shit about how she wants a serious guy. I wasn't insanely pushy with the Indian girl cuz of how many cuck barriers she put up.

That's just a bad look, even if the first date went well there's a good chance the second date could've been sabotaged.

I think it was the asian girl.

Yeah. Pre going to my place date was solid. Once we got to my place thats where I fucked up hard.

[GN44]

Date Log: Biracial BBW from Hinge

This date was at 7PM. I get there around 6:55 PM. She shows up at 7 on the dot. I greet her with a hug which she receives well. She has short curly hair and is chubby but she has big tits and ass so I really wanna fuck the shit outta her.

She tells me she never been to this spot because she lives on this street where most of the frat parties are held while she’s looking at me. She decides what she wants to get, I just get water because I don’t feel like getting anything. I pay for her drink even though she pulls out her card first. She said “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” but ofc I’m like nah I gotchu.

I get my water instantly and her drink comes pretty fast. We sit down and start talking about how our days went. I keep this exchange pretty short. She asks me my major and for like a bit of time we just talk about some of the classes we have taken. She’s over a year younger than me. I ask her a bit about what clubs she’s in just as a way to find what her interests are. Get her talking about something she’s passionate in so I can make my dialogue more interesting. What I gather is she plays violin, does yoga, likes bars (even tho she’s 19), and traveling around the US.

I get her talking a bit about violin since that seems to be what she is the most passionate about. She mentioned how she was in an actual band for a while and how she considered joining some group to play for people at the hospital but backed out. I acted a bit jokey to her about her being anxious about it and she gets playfully defensive cuz I think she thinks that I think she’s not that good. This part was bad though cuz I tried to be reassuring saying she probably is very good at it. I wasn’t gassing her up or anything but idk how much validation to give someone in a scenario like this if I should give any at all. Conversation, eye contact, and body language wise nothing stands out. She seems like a chill girl. She doesn’t throw me any shit tests. I also point out her accessories, do the hand thing where I’m like what’s the story on this. She tells me she got it from her mom. She shows me her other hand too which has some sibling ring stuff which I was like cool.

She asks me what I’m passionate about and I talk about cooking and she asks me stuff about what I like to cook and all. Just some yap here. Show her some stuff on my phone, put my arm around her. Bunch of yadda like that. She seems to receive it well.

I decide to get a bit more serious and I ask her how long she’s been on Hinge for. She say on and off about a year. She also tells me she has been on a few dates and she actually dated a guy for a time from the app. She said a lot of guys from the apps are weird and say weird things to her which kinda made her not want to use them anymore but ofc she found her way back on. She asks me and I just say like a month or so. She asks me also if I’m “looking for someone” so I just keep it nonchalant/slightly vague and say that I’m looking for someone who I vibe well with.

Little bit more yap later I ask if she wants to head out of the tea joint. She says yes so we put on our jackets and go. We hold hands and get to the crosswalk. I don’t say much about my place till we get to the crosswalk. She did mention she was planning to get crumbl cookies with her friends after but didn’t tell me when so I just didn’t care. When we got to the crosswalk she asked me where we were going and I said we can chill at my place for a bit. She agrees to this so we just walk to mines.

We get back to mines. I offer her water or some other beverage and she says yes to water. I get her some water and we sit on my bed. She sits on the side while I sit near my pillows. I focus on building comfort here. She asks me a bit about what I want to do after college and I say CRNA. She tells me she wants to be a doctor and talked about some interesting test she saw about how some people get weeded out through a sort of empathy test. We kinda talked about that for a bit and she brought up how some doctors are really fucked up and it’s sad or whatever. I try not to rush through the convo to get what I want but I do inch like slightly closer during small pauses or while she’s talking. She brings up True Crime cases of some scummy doctors and we just talk about those for a bit. Convo is getting real depressing so I try to spin the conversation more positive by talking about how her dreams of being one are good and just generally trying to radiate a positive outlook on life. Im able to close that thread well so the overall vibe is not low.

Slight pause and I get my arm around her. I start stroking her hair and tell her it’s nice. I call out how most of her pics on hinge have straight hair but she somehow knew I liked curls so that’s why she showed up with curly hair. Ofc she seems flattered but does tell me she’s started keeping it that way more often now. She also compliments my curls and I say how I started embracing them after growing out my hair. She calls that out saying she thought she saw a pic of my short hair on Hinge and I pull it up. She says my hair still looks good there. I say something back about how theres no way she prefers that over what I have now.

Overall she seems comfortable, she’s facing me instead of that one other girl (chubby east asian) who wasn’t really looking at me. She tells me she needs to go to the bathroom so she goes for a quick bit and then comes back and sits down. TMI but I can tell she did actually go for normal reasons.

I wasn’t really sure how to move from here so I say how about we just lay down and talk. Initially she objects saying she doesn’t usually go to guys places on first dates. I think like right after she gets a call from her friend asking her where she is cuz apparently they were planning to get crumbl at 8:40. Keep in mind I can hear her friends voice on the call. It’s 8:35 right now. She tells them she’s still on the date and she’ll be done soon. She gives them the apartment addy so they can pick her up. She mentions how all her friends have each others locations.

Call ends, I just say she can chill until her friends come. She finally agrees to just lay down. We talk a little bit and then there’s a pause and we are like looking right at each other. So we get to making out for a bit and I try to pull her a bit closer to me but she rejects this. We make out a little more but she ends it prematurely talking about how shy she is. I think I was slightly panicky esp with the friends thing so I make it clear I’m not gonna force her to do anything she’s not comfortable with (May have been bad in the moment to say this but idk). She then asks me if I’m doing anything Friday and she says she isn’t. I say why don’t we make food at my place or something. She agrees and we set a time. We get up off my bed and I get her to my door. I do touch her a bit more, give her ass a light squeeze and we kiss on the way out.

I didn’t feel any bad vibes from her at all, like her being uncomfortable or anything.

Post Date:

I noticed like some time later after the date ended she unmatched me. I didn’t think much of it and then 20 or so minutes later I check Hinge and I got fucking banned. I checked insta an hour later where I bounced her to and she blocked me. I was fucking livid over this ban. Now I gotta do a whole bunch of bs to get back on. I’ll figure it out soon. Fucking sucks man Hinge was somewhat good to me in terms of match quality.

What I’m thinking most likely happened is she told her friends about the date and they thought I was a red flag/dangerous. Their groupthink ended up causing her to think “oh maybe he is a red flag” and then she reported me on the app. Social media could just be having me in a doozy but I have heard of a girl being into a guy but her friends not approving so she drops him. I have heard of guys doing similar as well but tbf its still so goofy to me she gotta have a whole ass council for dating a dude lmfao at least let her make her own decision until and unless her partner actually be on some fuckshit. @september seems to agree with me on this and just thinks this was just me getting unlucky because he has done worse and not gotten banned.

I didn’t think I did anything too bad. Hell I backed off at times because I really wanted to be sure I didn’t make the same mistakes I did with the chubby East Asian cuz that was a serious fucking blunder. @Antonio44 really need your feedback on this one as I tried to implement what you wrote in your log in some ways.

[foducossy42]

Yeah probably wasn't a tease. I said something about how all her friends must go to her for fashion advice and that she should drop her chemistry major if its a slog (cuz she was telling me about how much she hates some of her classes) and become a personal stylist in a playful kind of way.

How do you calibrate thigh touches? Up until now if I do go for the thigh its usually after the shoulder and I just move my arm down across her back to her thigh.

Yeah it’s playful, not a tease. It’s good, brings the vibe up, but do know that teases put her down a little bit, not bring her up, and play a different role in seduction.

I don’t really calibrate thigh touches, I usually touch them on the thigh right when I sit down tbh, like maybe I’ll compliment their trousers and touch their thigh, I guess I calibrate off the reaction to me keeping my hand on her thigh for a little bit longer than necessary. I wouldn’t touch their back and then their thigh, since the thigh is nearer to me I’d go for the thigh first. You can start with the knee, and move your hand up to middle thigh NOT upper thigh because you don’t want to be feeling her up in the middle of a bar (well, not on the first date).

In fact I barely ever touch their hands. It’s just thigh, arm around the shoulders, and waist. If there is jewellery, I touch the ears for earrings and I love to touch their necklaces because my hand grazes their upper chest (not boobs) and it’s a somewhat intimate area.

TLDR I think it’s hard for me to really explain my calibration. You can use an escalation ladder and gradually add to that, but for me I almost entirely go by feel and vibe now.

[pancakemouse]

You (and everyone on this forum) need to start unmatching girls right before the date to avoid this stuff.

Further feedback is impossible without hearing an audio recording. You may well be an unreliable narrator.

[GN44]

You (and everyone on this forum) need to start unmatching girls right before the date to avoid this stuff.

Yes that is what I will do from now on.

I talked it over with a few other people here and we agreed right before or right after first date I am unmatching.

My only worry is they take it as me rejecting them but at the same time I doubt they will notice if they chat w/ me on another app because likely my messages will get buried on the dating app by the time of the date.

[GN44]

Yeah probably wasn't a tease. I said something about how all her friends must go to her for fashion advice and that she should drop her chemistry major if its a slog (cuz she was telling me about how much she hates some of her classes) and become a personal stylist in a playful kind of way.

How do you calibrate thigh touches? Up until now if I do go for the thigh its usually after the shoulder and I just move my arm down across her back to her thigh.

Yeah it’s playful, not a tease. It’s good, brings the vibe up, but do know that teases put her down a little bit, not bring her up, and play a different role in seduction.

I don’t really calibrate thigh touches, I usually touch them on the thigh right when I sit down tbh, like maybe I’ll compliment their trousers and touch their thigh, I guess I calibrate off the reaction to me keeping my hand on her thigh for a little bit longer than necessary. I wouldn’t touch their back and then their thigh, since the thigh is nearer to me I’d go for the thigh first. You can start with the knee, and move your hand up to middle thigh NOT upper thigh because you don’t want to be feeling her up in the middle of a bar (well, not on the first date).

In fact I barely ever touch their hands. It’s just thigh, arm around the shoulders, and waist. If there is jewellery, I touch the ears for earrings and I love to touch their necklaces because my hand grazes their upper chest (not boobs) and it’s a somewhat intimate area.

TLDR I think it’s hard for me to really explain my calibration. You can use an escalation ladder and gradually add to that, but for me I almost entirely go by feel and vibe now.

Gotcha. Yeah I think I am getting good at being more playful to bring up the vibe.

Ill get to touching their thigh more though. Can I say something like "cute outfit" when I do it instead?

But i get it, seems like your order is a reverse of what I am currently doing so Ill try it out next few dates.

[foducossy42]

Ill get to touching their thigh more though. Can I say something like "cute outfit" when I do it instead?

But i get it, seems like your order is a reverse of what I am currently doing so Ill try it out next few dates.

Yeah you can say whatever works for the situation. I have an appreciation for materials and style so I comment specifically on clothing they wear.

Bear in mind I go on a lot of dates from Feeld and even when I don’t, my profile has hookup frame built in. I also am very confident in kinoing girls so it’s not perceived as creepy when I touch their thigh.

[GN44]

Ill get to touching their thigh more though. Can I say something like "cute outfit" when I do it instead?

But i get it, seems like your order is a reverse of what I am currently doing so Ill try it out next few dates.

Yeah you can say whatever works for the situation. I have an appreciation for materials and style so I comment specifically on clothing they wear.

Bear in mind I go on a lot of dates from Feeld and even when I don’t, my profile has hookup frame built in. I also am very confident in kinoing girls so it’s not perceived as creepy when I touch their thigh.

Got it. Will apply.

Would you say the sort of routine I have right now is bad or is it fine? I have been wondering if being so rigid is holding me back from actually building sexual tension because I feel like I still struggle with it. I think some of it comes out of fear of making the girl uncomfortable.