Dude I totally feel you on all of this. One piece of advice (kinda unsolicited, you tell me) I will give is if you have any social media or people making you feel negatively, cut that shit out IMMEDIATELY. I was a Reddit addict and a lot of guys on there give up on their lives and tell everyone else trying to get girls, get fit, get money, etc is impossible and you need to be born with these things. A lot of redditors are terminally online, they are like a tumor infecting other mentally healthy people with braindead rhetoric. An example which I think you seem to be going through is using OLD. A lot of guys say OLD does not work and is hopeless, but there are guys who crack it and do incredibly well, so work on becoming one of those guys. OLD is so brutal due to the ratio of men to women being so lopsided, so be one of the men who sticks out well.ProgressEvolution wrote: ↑Mon Sep 11, 2023 1:58 amI'm never quitting but holy shit this is getting tough mentally lol. I'm only a week in and all that negative shit is coming to my head like:
"Your tinder profile is doomed. Even if you take a shit ton of photos, you're too ugly."
"Why even waste time taking photos if you're not photogenic?"
"Is it worth it for you to taking any pics in the meantime if you're still a few months away from your goal weight?"
"Are you even dateable?"
"You're never going to get a lay."
"How are you even going to do anything without your own place?"
"You're going to spend a shit ton of money and still be the loser you are. Just give up."
"At some point, your friend group will sense that you have something off about you if you can't even date or find a girlfriend."
"Is it even worth the time to get a lay with some random and it not lead anywhere after?"
"You're too passive. The other guys who succeeded in your city from this forum were already able to move the interaction forward in-person."
"If you're 25 and haven't really had any success, then you're probably fucked. The guys who seem to fail here usually have other obvious complications or issues that are easily fixable. You're just not wired to date."
I'm going to keep pushing no matter what but I'm honestly carrying so much mental shit as I'm doing it. The only way for it to even start tearing apart is once I start seeing some degree of success tbh. Right now, I'm literally mentally in "carry baggage and keep doing" mode.
The major aspect is that I'll be at my goal of weight of 175 pounds at 6 feet tall in literally 3-4 months tops. That's when the fashion will come in too. Right now, I'm just trying to get SOME pictures but I don't know how to bring it up with friends...there's one hang out that I planned for it and I have some idea actually that I can try...but I don't know how well it'll work. I'll have to see.
How does it feel though? It feels like I'm at the drop of a rollercoaster. The climb to the top consisted of my ego, hopes, and expectations coming into this, and now, the drop is in doing it during a period where I see no results yet. Just pure grind with no clue of outcome. Just that ambiguity and lack of feedback in terms of there being no expected outcome is eating away at me a bit. Sigh...we keep it moving.
One thing that can potentially help you, or at least I think is when you have the negative thought, explicitly acknowledge it, but then tell yourself it is not helpful or that you would rather think of something else. You can modify this approach. Hell I need to take my own advice. Another thing you can do is if you find yourself on the verge of a negative self talk episode, after the first thought go "SHUT" and do whatever you need to remind yourself that that thinking is unhelpful.
Also on the last part, Andy has clients who were virgins at 30 and lost it, so you are not fucked so long as you put in the work.
Have some easy but hardworking goals as well so you can feel a bit of satisfaction from at least completing that. Like cleaning your room or whatever.
The start is always hard as fuck. It is miserable, and where you are at is where many quit when trying to make change. Push through and little by little things get better.
