I'm brand new to this forum but have been a close follower of Andy's content for a few years now.
My goal right now is to be consistent with daytime cold approach.
Bit of an intro of me: I just turned 26 and have lived in Sydney for most of my life. Currently in the inner west in a cosy apartment by myself which I fucking love. I studied Electrical Engineering and currently have a good software engineering job and will definitely stay in this industry. Outside of work, I love raving, bush doofs, and festivals. I have a couple of hobbies but my number one is fire spinning (poi specifically) which I've been doing for a bit over 2 years now. I weightlift at the gym consistently and have a very healthy network of friends that I'm super grateful for. I interned for 10 weeks in Tassie with a random group of people from all over the country and lived for a year in very Far North Queensland for my graduate job. Those two experiences were the best times of my life because they felt like an adventure, I had a great time socially and was relatively successful with women. Around my friends, I am confident, outgoing, and empathetic. However, around strangers, I am and have always been quite insecure and shy. It has gotten better over time but it is still very much there, unfortunately. I am very into self-improvement and my friends regularly describe me as the most disciplined person they know.
That discipline has helped me overcome pretty much every goal I've ever had and has helped me reach a point where I am very satisfied with the things I've achieved and my current trajectory... except with my dating life. Apart from my success in Tassie and FNQ, my dating life in Sydney has been very lacking. 5 of the 9 girls I've slept with were from those brief periods. Almost all of the 9 were initiated while under the influence which meant my dick never worked the first time. Some of those girls were very attractive and I'm generally quite happy with my appearance so I know this part of my life is lacking because I simply don't take enough action. I've tried online dating but had abysmal success with it even after a professional photo shoot. I don't like the whole idea of meeting someone online either so I've been very inconsistently trying cold approach for about 1.5 years.
The first time I went out, I was shocked to find that I couldn't bring myself to initiate conversation with a single girl all day. Since then I've tried many times with almost every session ending in me getting home having not spoken to a single girl. This is by far the scariest thing I've ever tried to do. And it's baffling because I can (and have) listed 30+ reasons why cold approaching a girl is a fantastic thing - but I just can't seem to override the circuits in my brain screaming at me to not approach. When I am in conversation with any stranger, most of the time I am relatively comfortable and can be playful, but the actual approach (to anyone) truly terrifies me to my core. I've often returned home feeling genuinely hopeless which is not a feeling I've ever experienced in any other area of my life.
My cold approaches so far:
1 - 11 Feb 2023 - The first one ever I told my friend I would send her $100 if I didn't do it by the end of the day. I walked around literally all day and just couldn't bring myself to do it. Then I had dinner and decided to try again in one of Sydney's nightlift areas. While exiting a venue I saw this attractive chick walk past me. I followed her for a bit trying to build up the courage to approach her and become increasingly aware of the fact that it looked like I was stalking. I eventually ran up to her and said "Hey I saw you walking back there and thought you looked really cute so wanted to come say hi". I was nervous so was talking very quickly but maintaining an overall friendly vibe (I think). She wasn't very interested so I let her go and walked home with the biggest smile on my face. The fact that she had rejected me I didn't give a fuck about - I was ecstatic that I had finally done an approach (and saved $100).
2 - 11 March 2023 - This one stung so bad but sometimes I find it funny. Tapped a girl on the shoulder in a nightclub who was with a group of friends. She turned around and I tried to say "Hi how's it going" but I fumbled the words to due nervousness. She looked horrified and disgusted at the same time. I then said something along the lines of "I noticed you and thought you looked cute so wanted to come say hi" (I'm pretty satisfied with having some variation of this as my go-to line if I can't think of anything else). She continued to look horrified and disgusted and just said "okaaayyy". I wanted to die inside. I said "You don't look keen at all" and she shook her head. I just said "No worries have a good night" and went home after that. That experience was awful and even though I knew it was part of the game, I couldn't help it getting to me. After that, I stopped cold approaching for a long while.
3 - 30 July 2023 - Decided to try an easier goal which was to just compliment an attractive woman and then leave. I also decided to focus on daygame as I preferred to leave nightlife for when I'm out partying with my friends. Walked around Sydney for most of the day failing to do so. Had a break then rode my bike to a different area. I noticed an attractive chick sitting by herself. I went to war with my brain which was screaming at me to not approach and it won for a little while. But then I thought about how shit I'd feel if I didn't do this one after trying all day. So I kind of stopped thinking and just stood up and started walking in her direction. Once I did that it wasn't that hard. I went up to her and said "Hey excuse me". She then looked at me. I then said, "I was walking past and noticed you sitting here and I thought you looked really pretty". She smiled and said thanks. I then said "That's all hope you have a great day" and left feeling like the sickest cunt. This one was much better than the other two in that I spoke how I normally do - slow and deliberate. And I felt pretty comfortable overall during the interaction.
So yeah I've done three approaches out of between 10-20 days trying to cold approach. I tried again today but couldn't do a single one once again.
My intention with this progress log is to document my journey with this goal. I guess it will give me some accountability and I might get some valuable advice from those who are further along their journey than me - although I'm also happy if I don't get any since no one owes me anything. I am determined to not give up on this and I'm relying on my persistent discipline to just keep putting myself out there and hopefully, it'll get ever so slowly easier. It is very tough though returning home having lost to my mind when I could've spent that time improving my hobbies/career. This primarily applies to approaching attractive girls but I also want to be able to go up to anyone and hit it off.
I'm not going to dedicate myself to updating this log according to any strict schedule. I'm generally flat out during weekdays but any free time during the weekend, I promise to make an effort towards pursuing this goal. On any day that I do pursue this goal, I will update this log with how it went.
If you read this far, thanks for listening to my blabble, hope you have a beautiful day and best of luck with your goals
