Hey guys
This will be my ongoing progress log for cold approach, online dating and all the areas im going to improve in order to get the life i want, one where im seeing positive results and have multiple girls at once. In order to do that my main focus is going to be improving my game.
I want to provide some background information on the first year of this journey.
Last august I found KYIL through a google search and i was not expecting to find what i did, going through Andy’s guides, eventually GLL and the approach anxiety program I found what seemed like the gift of life and in many ways is.
Prior to AA I can only remember 2 or 3 times I ever did a full on approach that wasn't in a bar (while im kinda drunk).
I'm definitely introverted but I do have a solid group of friends. In 2016 I dropped out of college and had to move back in with my dad who moved to NJ from NY while I was in school. This really crippled my social skills, as a social life was three hours away and I was incapable at the time of making anything happen on my own.
So when I started AA it was definitely a shock to the system
I get through 2 weeks, the summer ends, and it's time to start school again (fall 2022). At this point I ended up just doing some basic approaches. Winter break came and I was out every single day, taking my bike to the train and going to a rotation of malls in my general area to continue AA. At that point I started just doing general approaches and have been doing that since.
I had a plan for the opener and free ball from there, looking for a number close as with my current logistics that seems to be the best possible option. Ive since been exploring all different avenues and have thrown in some routines and general material from various sources online. Self admittingly my preparation for my approaches has not been great and I now realize that needs to change in order to see the results i want.
This past May was the start of reading about more technical game, the information and terminology was so overwhelming and if you're looking at different sources it can be contradictory as well but its something that i am now beginning to dig into with 100% effort with my aim being at truly learning it so im not cluttering my mind on the train trying to give myself some matieral to have ready.
One thing i've done well is at least show up (i take my bike on the train everyday im free to approach in the hudson county area, my campus, other campus and was going to the city during the summer here and there just for practice since my logistics of a 40 minute train ride make a connection unlikely)
To date through roughly 500 plus approaches I got about 50 ish numbers, 10 ish replies, 1 instadate and 2 dates.
One thing i'm aware of is my approach volume is nowhere near it needs to be (to be fair there's a lot of professional woman in my area, which usually doesn't seem worth it, or im out there for a couple hours with great energy and enthusiasm but there's no one there and now im tired and discouraged and likely to chicken out of a approach on the street) ill also say for a while i think i was just “happy to be there” so to speak and enjoying the validation high of being able to go up to hot girls in public (maybe self admittingly hoping she passes before i run out of material, mess up or expose myself for not being as experienced at this is i can pretend to be in a short amount of time) It took a while for me to realize i was only half in. When you're starting from zero, going half in feels like you're all in.
At this current time, going into this fall semester i was super focused, i ended up having 4 numbers going (2 cold approach, 2 from hinge) that had potential but 2 flaked, more or less, i had a date with one, we made out a bit and then got ghosted. The other kept avoiding a meet up and I haven't responded since but I might text again this week. Those were the first actual ongoing conversations ive had and most of my energy the past two weeks was put into trying to build attraction through those text convos. I also went out at night a couple times and was blown out both
Despite my lack of material results I've made an insane amount of progress socially, mentally and emotionally in the last year. I remember this one time, this was about a year before I found this stuff, at my gym there was a hot blonde girl that I thought was showing interest. I literally was standing in front of the lat pulldown for 10 minutes in fear before I went up to her, i was nearly hyperventilating but was able to stutter out can i get your number.
Right now I see the best course of action as being learning more about technical game so i can really be feeling confident when i go out to approach as its apparent to me i'm not generating attraction in my conversations and i can feel that confidence in me if i know i have a plan or structure for myself.
Nearly this whole time I've been feeling like i have no idea what im doing right, doing wrong or what to focus
Instead of just watching videos or reading content im beginning to take notes and really try to absorb and understand these concepts so im not hesitant or fearful and can soley focus on the girl and getting the best possible outcome.
Im looking forward to hearing from you guys as i update this log, tomorrow night i'm going to the frat parties at my school. They provide the best logistical opportunity for me right now (my campus apt is a 2 minute walk) i will provide an update of my approaches on the night.
Some things that are currently on my mind right now that i would love to have feedback on:
Any recommendations for source of routines or routine structures that are entirely free?
What is considered spam approaching and is it ever something you're concerned about? As i ramp up my volume it's something ive been weighing. I know the quickest progress I ever made was when doing AA and doing all of the days drills in one mall.
mirra's progress log- its good to be lucky
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pancakemouse
- Posts: 1834 | Thanks: 1095
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
- Goal: Master cold approach
- Age: 33
Nightgame structure:mirra wrote: ↑Thu Oct 19, 2023 3:44 amSome things that are currently on my mind right now that i would love to have feedback on:
Any recommendations for source of routines or routine structures that are entirely free?
What is considered spam approaching and is it ever something you're concerned about? As i ramp up my volume it's something ive been weighing. I know the quickest progress I ever made was when doing AA and doing all of the days drills in one mall.
Spam approaching means doing approaches one after another with no consideration given to the girl's archetype or situation, and no time spent pre- or debriefing.
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mirra
- Posts: 6 | Thanks: 2
- Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2023 2:41 am
- Name: john
- Goal: 10 lays by may (2/10)
- Age: 27
Thank you for the link, this is the sort of laid out structure im looking for. its not easy sifting through everything that is available.pancakemouse wrote: ↑Thu Oct 19, 2023 2:31 pmNightgame structure:mirra wrote: ↑Thu Oct 19, 2023 3:44 amSome things that are currently on my mind right now that i would love to have feedback on:
Any recommendations for source of routines or routine structures that are entirely free?
What is considered spam approaching and is it ever something you're concerned about? As i ramp up my volume it's something ive been weighing. I know the quickest progress I ever made was when doing AA and doing all of the days drills in one mall.
Spam approaching means doing approaches one after another with no consideration given to the girl's archetype or situation, and no time spent pre- or debriefing.
your blog has led me to a lot of good sources and the day to day pov of someone doing this has been really insightful and opened my eyes to what this really takes.
appreciate everything you put out there
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mirra
- Posts: 6 | Thanks: 2
- Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2023 2:41 am
- Name: john
- Goal: 10 lays by may (2/10)
- Age: 27
Thurs night I was out for night game and took a different mindset that I really haven't in a while.
I just promised myself I was gonna say whatever came to mind and just refused to let myself over think or hesitate.
It was an amazing feeling, I felt way more socially free and was surprised that the pressure of moving forward an interaction was actually reduced.
I was at a frat party at my school, in general these are just bad experiences and no place you ever want to be.
Literally packed to the gills, you have to fight to be able to just move 2 steps in any direction
Within the first 5 minutes I make a conversation with a girl, I had her attention but it didn't end up progressing anywhere but going in from the jump helped set the tone for myself mentally.
While walking into the house there was a girl showing interest and was my ideal type looks wise. About 30 minutes in I saw her inside located in an awkward position where It was gonna be hard to leave the interaction if it went south due to the clutter.
I gave myself about 20 seconds to figure out an exit plan that allowed to move on as smoothly as possible.
This interaction was one of the approaches I've been most proud of throughout this whole process.
There was a ton of low compliance and her friend was a total cockblock. The girl I was talking to seemed somewhat receptive to the approach, atleast not unreceptive but wouldn't let me move it forward at all. These are the times when I used to feel my energy drain on the inside where it feels like this is going nowhere, it looks bad, feels bad and I gotta pretend that it doesn't.
However the refusal to let myself overthink allowed me to elegantly and confidently handle the resistance to atleast retain her attention. It seemed like they where both slightly impressed that I was able to compose myself throughout and maintain my confidence. About 3 minutes and then i left.
I approached about 10ish girls that night, pretty much every rejection was "im with my friends" and I didn't see any one else having luck with any of them the rest of the night.
A handful of these approaches there was initial eye contact and potential interest.
It's an obvious statement but a lot of girls truly just want attention and validation and are not serious about having much happen
I did have one approach go well however. Towards the end of the night, there was kinda cute chick, bunch of piercings and clothing that let me cold read that she was bi. Asked her if she usually dates guys or girls, she says she guys and I say I bet you like to be submissive with the girls
She was kinda mind blown because it was true.
Kept talking and escalating for a couple more minutes.
I've been listening to the game audiobook and I used the tic tac routine, it works and we make out.
However my biggest concern is getting her back to my place. Its the end of the night, I'm mentally exhausted, was on 5 hours sleep and had work at 8am that morning.
When I felt that mental fatigue kick in and can tell I wasn't gonna have something to say, I just sexually escalated verbally as hard as I ever had.
It was actually pretty funny I was saying what I said out loud. At this point the party was dying down and it could definitely be heard
She goes to a school that is genuinely inconvenient to travel to and from where the party is, there's no train that conveniently goes there and she's taking an uber back with her friend, I push for it a little more but it feels like it's not happening so I grab her number.
In hindsight I should of pushed harder but I was just relived I got something going and was hoping the confidence surge would lead to something else that night. (It didnt)
Big step in the right direction, im looking forward to taking a more socially free approach in day game
I just promised myself I was gonna say whatever came to mind and just refused to let myself over think or hesitate.
It was an amazing feeling, I felt way more socially free and was surprised that the pressure of moving forward an interaction was actually reduced.
I was at a frat party at my school, in general these are just bad experiences and no place you ever want to be.
Literally packed to the gills, you have to fight to be able to just move 2 steps in any direction
Within the first 5 minutes I make a conversation with a girl, I had her attention but it didn't end up progressing anywhere but going in from the jump helped set the tone for myself mentally.
While walking into the house there was a girl showing interest and was my ideal type looks wise. About 30 minutes in I saw her inside located in an awkward position where It was gonna be hard to leave the interaction if it went south due to the clutter.
I gave myself about 20 seconds to figure out an exit plan that allowed to move on as smoothly as possible.
This interaction was one of the approaches I've been most proud of throughout this whole process.
There was a ton of low compliance and her friend was a total cockblock. The girl I was talking to seemed somewhat receptive to the approach, atleast not unreceptive but wouldn't let me move it forward at all. These are the times when I used to feel my energy drain on the inside where it feels like this is going nowhere, it looks bad, feels bad and I gotta pretend that it doesn't.
However the refusal to let myself overthink allowed me to elegantly and confidently handle the resistance to atleast retain her attention. It seemed like they where both slightly impressed that I was able to compose myself throughout and maintain my confidence. About 3 minutes and then i left.
I approached about 10ish girls that night, pretty much every rejection was "im with my friends" and I didn't see any one else having luck with any of them the rest of the night.
A handful of these approaches there was initial eye contact and potential interest.
It's an obvious statement but a lot of girls truly just want attention and validation and are not serious about having much happen
I did have one approach go well however. Towards the end of the night, there was kinda cute chick, bunch of piercings and clothing that let me cold read that she was bi. Asked her if she usually dates guys or girls, she says she guys and I say I bet you like to be submissive with the girls
She was kinda mind blown because it was true.
Kept talking and escalating for a couple more minutes.
I've been listening to the game audiobook and I used the tic tac routine, it works and we make out.
However my biggest concern is getting her back to my place. Its the end of the night, I'm mentally exhausted, was on 5 hours sleep and had work at 8am that morning.
When I felt that mental fatigue kick in and can tell I wasn't gonna have something to say, I just sexually escalated verbally as hard as I ever had.
It was actually pretty funny I was saying what I said out loud. At this point the party was dying down and it could definitely be heard
She goes to a school that is genuinely inconvenient to travel to and from where the party is, there's no train that conveniently goes there and she's taking an uber back with her friend, I push for it a little more but it feels like it's not happening so I grab her number.
In hindsight I should of pushed harder but I was just relived I got something going and was hoping the confidence surge would lead to something else that night. (It didnt)
Big step in the right direction, im looking forward to taking a more socially free approach in day game
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mirra
- Posts: 6 | Thanks: 2
- Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2023 2:41 am
- Name: john
- Goal: 10 lays by may (2/10)
- Age: 27
First time updating this in over a week.
After last Thursday I went to NY for the weekend to see family. Monday & Tuesday I was busy with school. Wednesday just felt like there wasn't any approaches around. (small campus, primarily a commuter school)
Currently my energy is being put into night game thurs, fri, sat. During the week the time i would spend doing day game is going into studying game in order to have a better plan and feel prepared to be successful in my approaches
Thurs. morning i get off work after an 8am shift and was bee-lining it to eat as I was hungry but walking out of work I saw a girl ive never seen before (just my type, blonde) so I walked into the building nearby to take a piss and approach her right after.
She was caught off guard obviously and didn't seem receptive from the start, i'm really happy with how i composed my confidence throughout the interaction, (most on campus approaches for me are direct but not too forward, flirting, being confident and just trying to meet someone)
i knew from the jump this was going nowhere but I just focused and told myself be confident and don't stumble over the fact that she's like “wtf why”. She leaves and goes to class but I feel great about knocking the rust off and know my next approach will be better.
Unfortunately it was just a day where there wasn't a good on campus approach opportunity, it's a small campus and to prevent a negative reputation of the guy randomly approaching every girl I'm pretty selective. I'm usually looking for commuters (the hottest girls are commuters too, it's odd), as living on campus you will tend to see familiar faces.
The day time was mostly spent just talking to friends I ran into, there were 2 possible approaches I didn't make but after the weekend I just had, I couldn't care less.
Thursday Night
I get plans from the guys i go out with sometimes that they're going to a bar 20 mins away but nothing is taking me away from thurs night frat parties, it's the best logistical scenario for me to pull a hot girl
Since its Halloween weekend I leave my apt 30 mins earlier knowing there's going to be a long line. The line ends up being longer than I expected and it's never fun maneuvering it by yourself, when you get cut by groups, you can either say something or just cut them back. Tonight I chose the latter and it worked out quite well. The first mvp of the night was the female cop making every large group of the girls that try to cut all the way at the front go to the back. I got into the party after 40 mins.
This place is always packed over max capacity but tonight's it's even worse. there were times when there was pushing all the way at the other end of the basement and its fucking dominoes all the way towards my end, people falling, just terrible.
So i make my way to my usual spot by the bar and it's the least hectic spot you can find there. The only problem is tonight I was limited to who was filtering in front of me. Couple mins in i start my first approach on a beautiful white girl (somewhere between 8.5-9).
So there's a school 20 mins away where 80% of the hot white girls at these parties come from (they have no frats/college bars by their campus) I usually just use an opener along the lines of, "so you have to be from ____ etc.." It's actually hilarious that they are all genuinely shocked that I'm right.
Her attention is engaged but her subcomms say that it's going to be a difficult pull for sure. Since it's Halloween weekend, there are going to be so many horny girls that im saving my energy for immediate attraction as im already getting good eye contact from around the area.
i put little effort into continuing the convo but she keeps engaging some open loops but when she gets distracted by her friends i just don't even pay her attention, she ends up smiling and saying bye
I feel pretty good after that and my energy is high. I'm just waiting for the right opp. roughly 5 minutes after the first girl, a group of 3 hot indian girls dressed as slutty vampires filter in front of me.
I grab the one to my left arm lightly to get her attention and I say something like "so are you two the vampires and she's the victim? (pointing to the hottest one which is directly in front of me, she has no blood or vampire teeth, turns out she was a succubus) that's all I said. one sentence. the hottest one in front of me says something, i honestly forget, i think it was ‘im whatever u want me to be’ and she grabs my face and sticks her tongue down my throat)
This whole year of grinding of trying to get attraction from hot ass girls and out of nowhere, seemingly, something just falls into my lap from 10 seconds of effort.
She was instantly all over me and it was looking like it was going to be my night. I'm going to summarize the rest of the night with her as efficiently as possible.
1. every few minutes she's right back to making out with me. I don't even have to do anything.
2. A guy joins their group, and starts screaming at her (not with anger but just super hyper, there was some 'drama' going on between the friend group and ppl who weren't here. at first i thought he was friendzoned and butt hurt but she's not leaving me, so i just mind my business. thank god i did because it turns out it was her brother. he wasn't an intentional cockblock at all and neither where her friends (2nd mvps of the night)
3. we go to the dancefloor and were grinding and w.e but it's so loud and i can tell i'm losing her attention to the friends (there's something going on like i said). im able to get back her attention and start talking about my ring and she's hooked again
4. They move to go outside, I lose them in the crowd twice. The first time I found them after a min and accidently grab the friend but realized the fabric of her skirt was different so i played it off. Now I lose them a 2nd time and they're nowhere to be found. I refuse to let this slip out of my hands. They can only be outside at this point but there's usually someone watching the door, because they try to stop anyone who is not a brother or girls into the backyard. I'm able to slip my way back there and they're right there and it's like nothing happened. There is absolutely a world where I don't have the will to keep regaining her attention, maintain strong confidence and find her and her friend while not skipping a beat, in terms of our connection.
5. We can actually hear each other now and I'm able to establish a stronger connection and she's back all over me. I'm now trying to set up the pull with drinks at my place. after 20 mins outside she has to leave the party to bring something to her brother, she asks if i can get her back in. (it wouldn't of been easy but my phone was dead so it was impossible) she agrees to grab coffee during the week, we exchange ig and i dm her when i get home. I invited her over again when i charged my phone but we both have 830 class/work so she says she's going to bed. going to dm monday to set up coffee.
Even though I didn't pull, I was glad I was able to maneuver the night in the manner in which I did.
Friday Night
I take a nap after work and wake up at 7 ish. initially i want to rest for the night so i can be ready for saturday but my boys text me with plans of checking out the frats and potentially going to nyc after
i say fuck it and we end up leaving around 10.
the first house we go to is a much smaller function. I make about 4 approaches and just talk to some people I know. all the girls are in groups and there was a lot of cockblocking.
We head to other parties and it's mostly uneventful. i get more cockblocks, make out with a girl (that's not super attractive)
just not really even able to start to get anything going.
It's now 3 am. We have been to pretty much all the houses in this area and were figuring out what to do. We were walking towards the bar at this point. (this bar only has young people there when its super late and even then its dicey, so when you're heading here without girls it's never a great feeling)
Last night something just happened to fall into my lap and well it certainly happened again
my friends approached a car of girls, which i didn't even consider or notice.
We chat with them up, everyones really cool, and we get in their car to go to the bar together. i start to build so rapport with the driver (she's closer to my age and knows the two college aged girls she's with, through work)
as soon as we park, i start to get physical and we have a good connection
Me and her have a good convo about traveling and random stuff which was interesting at times but my only concern was moving it forward eloquently.
I said i have drinks at my place and she agreed to go.
Fina-fucking-ly. Once she agrees, I know exactly what's going to happen and it does. She goes home around 5 and we agree to do it again, at her place next time.
Positives: something was thrown in my lap and i was able to not fuck it up. There's a great movie “glengarry glen ross” (it's about cold calling salesman, really recommend it) alec baldwins character tells these struggling salesman “i'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it”. well friday night i knew what to do with it
What I need to fix: a lot of the time my open, is hey can i meet you, or hey this is random but etc…. It feels like a lot of the girls are intimidated by the initial approach. My best solution is coming with something a little more functional with less pressure and letting any conversation appear to (and feel like) its occurring randomly or ‘naturally’
Saturday Night:
Drinking and being out late has been kicking my ass, so i take a midday nap again and i'm still pretty shot.
My friends are going to the city at 3pm but i pass and decide if i want to do something ill decide at night
One of my boys is coming home late from a party in his hometown and wants to meet up after to hit some parties at school, while i wait i decided to save some money and not take the train anywhere and just take my bike around the city that I'm in. it's absolutely the worst of the small cities in hudson county but the downtown area has a couple clubs, so i decide to check them out, there's a cover and a line and i decide it's not worth it. I'm just gonna head back to the same bar as last night have a few cheap drinks and just wait for my friend
About 20 mins before im expecting his text i get approached by a woman at the bar, she's a couple years older than the girl from last night (30)
We have a pretty interesting convo and i can tell she's into me and i'm all into keeping my momentum going
Little did I know how long I would have to wait to get out of this bar. She frequents this place ( so do a lot of people and she had like 8 different friends that she hadn't seen in a while and talked to)
Im all in on making this happen, my phones about to die and i can tell she wants to fuck. She asks what im going to school for and makes a joke about wanting to see my dorm apt and i know shes down so i'm all in
10 minutes into our conversation I realize she's someone who just dominates the conversation and will interrupt you if you say a word and just keeps going on. I can't stand this, I have family members who do this and it drives me nuts but I'm tired and if she's going to do all the work of continuing the interaction I just let her. Shes interesting and so is the convo but still.
About 3 different guys she knew were practically begging for her attention. I knew there was no scenario they were gonna steal her so I chatted with her friend while she was running off talking to everyone i just kept waiting. She was going outside to smoke and i would go with her to solidify my position.
Everything I've observed is this girl is super free spirit type and i'm expecting there no be no objections as she already wasn't batting an eye at coming back to my on campus apt.
2nd smoke break she says when was your last long term relationship, i tell her its been a while, she asks so youre not looking for one, i tell her i am not, she then says she is. However i realize that this is completely contradictory to her behavior and everything i observed so far and it just feels like its not really the truth but maybe her way of not framing it as a one night stand.
I know it is super important that I navigate this. i just tell her the truth which is that it's something that I never intentionally look for and I say if i ever do have one it will definitely start from a casual relationship. She seems indifferent. Glad i had the will to successfully and calmly maneuver this (because when she said that was what she was looking for, my heart sank into my stomach because i dont want to have to lie). To summarize, she knew that it was unlikely to be anything other than sex. If i remember this is when we make out a bit and i tell her im gonna fuck her tn.
Skip past a bunch of boring b.s and Its now fucking 5 am and were in the bar after closing, with a handful of the regulars and the chill bartender
Im talking to one of the regulars that i know about his job and stuff while shes outside smoking with a guy who showed up there in a suit because someone told him she was there ( she was almost embarrassing him the way she was friendzoning him the whole night, i genuinely felt bad) anyways she comes back and with the music off while the guy is sitting 3 stools down, tells me out loud he just paid for her tab and was convincing her not to come home with me, which is insane behavior because i guess shes been telling him for a while its never gonna happen between them.
There was no attempted amog from him or anything it was just him begging her. I paid it no attention.
It was just a bizarre final hour (he ended up buying me a jaeger bomb)
I was just able to be chill the whole night and handled the obstacles with indifference and maintained a relaxed confident demeanor as if it was already set in stone and i'm just minding my business
I bring her back and it's a good time but she starts to talk my ear off two hours in. she was talking about really personal stuff and i would of felt bad kicking her out. This is something i need to learn how to manage next time. Good problem to have tho.
Im so fucking tired but we start to go again so im content and then become willing to fall asleep with her here cause the jets are on at 1 and want to sleep before the game.
She then says she should go home and im asleep by 9
Back to back nights i pull, im finally fucking getting results
As ive dealt with the frustrations of the past year, i have done a lot of work on my inner self and finding my way through this journey and some things that i found that played a role in my success this weekend are:
Guided meditations and manifestation
Studying the science of happiness
this month i started doing guided meditations (20 mins - 1 hour) or just believing in myself that i'm gonna make this happen and go on a crazy run for hopefully the next 8-10 years. Ive been telling myself when it happens its gonna be a snowball. Whether or not you believe in the 'science' behind meditating with the intent of manifesting what you seek into your life, mediation itself gives you an amazing feeling and the more confidence you have in yourself the better.
When progressing towards a goal you can fall into the trap of waiting to feel happy until you reach it, then you reach it and all you feel is relief and then still feel the same. happiness comes from within, enjoy the progress, be grateful for life.
So far this weekend was the start of that. Im looking forward to taking some time monday night to be grateful and just thank myself for going as hard as i did up to this point (especially the summer, coming home late on the train after spending money i really shouldn't, trying to compose myself through challenging approaches, knowing that even if something falls into my lap, my inexperience may prevent me from seeing it).
What I want most out of this weekend is the ability to not feel like everything hinges on each approach, i'm off the schneid and it's time to really be free.
After last Thursday I went to NY for the weekend to see family. Monday & Tuesday I was busy with school. Wednesday just felt like there wasn't any approaches around. (small campus, primarily a commuter school)
Currently my energy is being put into night game thurs, fri, sat. During the week the time i would spend doing day game is going into studying game in order to have a better plan and feel prepared to be successful in my approaches
Thurs. morning i get off work after an 8am shift and was bee-lining it to eat as I was hungry but walking out of work I saw a girl ive never seen before (just my type, blonde) so I walked into the building nearby to take a piss and approach her right after.
She was caught off guard obviously and didn't seem receptive from the start, i'm really happy with how i composed my confidence throughout the interaction, (most on campus approaches for me are direct but not too forward, flirting, being confident and just trying to meet someone)
i knew from the jump this was going nowhere but I just focused and told myself be confident and don't stumble over the fact that she's like “wtf why”. She leaves and goes to class but I feel great about knocking the rust off and know my next approach will be better.
Unfortunately it was just a day where there wasn't a good on campus approach opportunity, it's a small campus and to prevent a negative reputation of the guy randomly approaching every girl I'm pretty selective. I'm usually looking for commuters (the hottest girls are commuters too, it's odd), as living on campus you will tend to see familiar faces.
The day time was mostly spent just talking to friends I ran into, there were 2 possible approaches I didn't make but after the weekend I just had, I couldn't care less.
Thursday Night
I get plans from the guys i go out with sometimes that they're going to a bar 20 mins away but nothing is taking me away from thurs night frat parties, it's the best logistical scenario for me to pull a hot girl
Since its Halloween weekend I leave my apt 30 mins earlier knowing there's going to be a long line. The line ends up being longer than I expected and it's never fun maneuvering it by yourself, when you get cut by groups, you can either say something or just cut them back. Tonight I chose the latter and it worked out quite well. The first mvp of the night was the female cop making every large group of the girls that try to cut all the way at the front go to the back. I got into the party after 40 mins.
This place is always packed over max capacity but tonight's it's even worse. there were times when there was pushing all the way at the other end of the basement and its fucking dominoes all the way towards my end, people falling, just terrible.
So i make my way to my usual spot by the bar and it's the least hectic spot you can find there. The only problem is tonight I was limited to who was filtering in front of me. Couple mins in i start my first approach on a beautiful white girl (somewhere between 8.5-9).
So there's a school 20 mins away where 80% of the hot white girls at these parties come from (they have no frats/college bars by their campus) I usually just use an opener along the lines of, "so you have to be from ____ etc.." It's actually hilarious that they are all genuinely shocked that I'm right.
Her attention is engaged but her subcomms say that it's going to be a difficult pull for sure. Since it's Halloween weekend, there are going to be so many horny girls that im saving my energy for immediate attraction as im already getting good eye contact from around the area.
i put little effort into continuing the convo but she keeps engaging some open loops but when she gets distracted by her friends i just don't even pay her attention, she ends up smiling and saying bye
I feel pretty good after that and my energy is high. I'm just waiting for the right opp. roughly 5 minutes after the first girl, a group of 3 hot indian girls dressed as slutty vampires filter in front of me.
I grab the one to my left arm lightly to get her attention and I say something like "so are you two the vampires and she's the victim? (pointing to the hottest one which is directly in front of me, she has no blood or vampire teeth, turns out she was a succubus) that's all I said. one sentence. the hottest one in front of me says something, i honestly forget, i think it was ‘im whatever u want me to be’ and she grabs my face and sticks her tongue down my throat)
This whole year of grinding of trying to get attraction from hot ass girls and out of nowhere, seemingly, something just falls into my lap from 10 seconds of effort.
She was instantly all over me and it was looking like it was going to be my night. I'm going to summarize the rest of the night with her as efficiently as possible.
1. every few minutes she's right back to making out with me. I don't even have to do anything.
2. A guy joins their group, and starts screaming at her (not with anger but just super hyper, there was some 'drama' going on between the friend group and ppl who weren't here. at first i thought he was friendzoned and butt hurt but she's not leaving me, so i just mind my business. thank god i did because it turns out it was her brother. he wasn't an intentional cockblock at all and neither where her friends (2nd mvps of the night)
3. we go to the dancefloor and were grinding and w.e but it's so loud and i can tell i'm losing her attention to the friends (there's something going on like i said). im able to get back her attention and start talking about my ring and she's hooked again
4. They move to go outside, I lose them in the crowd twice. The first time I found them after a min and accidently grab the friend but realized the fabric of her skirt was different so i played it off. Now I lose them a 2nd time and they're nowhere to be found. I refuse to let this slip out of my hands. They can only be outside at this point but there's usually someone watching the door, because they try to stop anyone who is not a brother or girls into the backyard. I'm able to slip my way back there and they're right there and it's like nothing happened. There is absolutely a world where I don't have the will to keep regaining her attention, maintain strong confidence and find her and her friend while not skipping a beat, in terms of our connection.
5. We can actually hear each other now and I'm able to establish a stronger connection and she's back all over me. I'm now trying to set up the pull with drinks at my place. after 20 mins outside she has to leave the party to bring something to her brother, she asks if i can get her back in. (it wouldn't of been easy but my phone was dead so it was impossible) she agrees to grab coffee during the week, we exchange ig and i dm her when i get home. I invited her over again when i charged my phone but we both have 830 class/work so she says she's going to bed. going to dm monday to set up coffee.
Even though I didn't pull, I was glad I was able to maneuver the night in the manner in which I did.
Friday Night
I take a nap after work and wake up at 7 ish. initially i want to rest for the night so i can be ready for saturday but my boys text me with plans of checking out the frats and potentially going to nyc after
i say fuck it and we end up leaving around 10.
the first house we go to is a much smaller function. I make about 4 approaches and just talk to some people I know. all the girls are in groups and there was a lot of cockblocking.
We head to other parties and it's mostly uneventful. i get more cockblocks, make out with a girl (that's not super attractive)
just not really even able to start to get anything going.
It's now 3 am. We have been to pretty much all the houses in this area and were figuring out what to do. We were walking towards the bar at this point. (this bar only has young people there when its super late and even then its dicey, so when you're heading here without girls it's never a great feeling)
Last night something just happened to fall into my lap and well it certainly happened again
my friends approached a car of girls, which i didn't even consider or notice.
We chat with them up, everyones really cool, and we get in their car to go to the bar together. i start to build so rapport with the driver (she's closer to my age and knows the two college aged girls she's with, through work)
as soon as we park, i start to get physical and we have a good connection
Me and her have a good convo about traveling and random stuff which was interesting at times but my only concern was moving it forward eloquently.
I said i have drinks at my place and she agreed to go.
Fina-fucking-ly. Once she agrees, I know exactly what's going to happen and it does. She goes home around 5 and we agree to do it again, at her place next time.
Positives: something was thrown in my lap and i was able to not fuck it up. There's a great movie “glengarry glen ross” (it's about cold calling salesman, really recommend it) alec baldwins character tells these struggling salesman “i'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it”. well friday night i knew what to do with it
What I need to fix: a lot of the time my open, is hey can i meet you, or hey this is random but etc…. It feels like a lot of the girls are intimidated by the initial approach. My best solution is coming with something a little more functional with less pressure and letting any conversation appear to (and feel like) its occurring randomly or ‘naturally’
Saturday Night:
Drinking and being out late has been kicking my ass, so i take a midday nap again and i'm still pretty shot.
My friends are going to the city at 3pm but i pass and decide if i want to do something ill decide at night
One of my boys is coming home late from a party in his hometown and wants to meet up after to hit some parties at school, while i wait i decided to save some money and not take the train anywhere and just take my bike around the city that I'm in. it's absolutely the worst of the small cities in hudson county but the downtown area has a couple clubs, so i decide to check them out, there's a cover and a line and i decide it's not worth it. I'm just gonna head back to the same bar as last night have a few cheap drinks and just wait for my friend
About 20 mins before im expecting his text i get approached by a woman at the bar, she's a couple years older than the girl from last night (30)
We have a pretty interesting convo and i can tell she's into me and i'm all into keeping my momentum going
Little did I know how long I would have to wait to get out of this bar. She frequents this place ( so do a lot of people and she had like 8 different friends that she hadn't seen in a while and talked to)
Im all in on making this happen, my phones about to die and i can tell she wants to fuck. She asks what im going to school for and makes a joke about wanting to see my dorm apt and i know shes down so i'm all in
10 minutes into our conversation I realize she's someone who just dominates the conversation and will interrupt you if you say a word and just keeps going on. I can't stand this, I have family members who do this and it drives me nuts but I'm tired and if she's going to do all the work of continuing the interaction I just let her. Shes interesting and so is the convo but still.
About 3 different guys she knew were practically begging for her attention. I knew there was no scenario they were gonna steal her so I chatted with her friend while she was running off talking to everyone i just kept waiting. She was going outside to smoke and i would go with her to solidify my position.
Everything I've observed is this girl is super free spirit type and i'm expecting there no be no objections as she already wasn't batting an eye at coming back to my on campus apt.
2nd smoke break she says when was your last long term relationship, i tell her its been a while, she asks so youre not looking for one, i tell her i am not, she then says she is. However i realize that this is completely contradictory to her behavior and everything i observed so far and it just feels like its not really the truth but maybe her way of not framing it as a one night stand.
I know it is super important that I navigate this. i just tell her the truth which is that it's something that I never intentionally look for and I say if i ever do have one it will definitely start from a casual relationship. She seems indifferent. Glad i had the will to successfully and calmly maneuver this (because when she said that was what she was looking for, my heart sank into my stomach because i dont want to have to lie). To summarize, she knew that it was unlikely to be anything other than sex. If i remember this is when we make out a bit and i tell her im gonna fuck her tn.
Skip past a bunch of boring b.s and Its now fucking 5 am and were in the bar after closing, with a handful of the regulars and the chill bartender
Im talking to one of the regulars that i know about his job and stuff while shes outside smoking with a guy who showed up there in a suit because someone told him she was there ( she was almost embarrassing him the way she was friendzoning him the whole night, i genuinely felt bad) anyways she comes back and with the music off while the guy is sitting 3 stools down, tells me out loud he just paid for her tab and was convincing her not to come home with me, which is insane behavior because i guess shes been telling him for a while its never gonna happen between them.
There was no attempted amog from him or anything it was just him begging her. I paid it no attention.
It was just a bizarre final hour (he ended up buying me a jaeger bomb)
I was just able to be chill the whole night and handled the obstacles with indifference and maintained a relaxed confident demeanor as if it was already set in stone and i'm just minding my business
I bring her back and it's a good time but she starts to talk my ear off two hours in. she was talking about really personal stuff and i would of felt bad kicking her out. This is something i need to learn how to manage next time. Good problem to have tho.
Im so fucking tired but we start to go again so im content and then become willing to fall asleep with her here cause the jets are on at 1 and want to sleep before the game.
She then says she should go home and im asleep by 9
Back to back nights i pull, im finally fucking getting results
As ive dealt with the frustrations of the past year, i have done a lot of work on my inner self and finding my way through this journey and some things that i found that played a role in my success this weekend are:
Guided meditations and manifestation
Studying the science of happiness
this month i started doing guided meditations (20 mins - 1 hour) or just believing in myself that i'm gonna make this happen and go on a crazy run for hopefully the next 8-10 years. Ive been telling myself when it happens its gonna be a snowball. Whether or not you believe in the 'science' behind meditating with the intent of manifesting what you seek into your life, mediation itself gives you an amazing feeling and the more confidence you have in yourself the better.
When progressing towards a goal you can fall into the trap of waiting to feel happy until you reach it, then you reach it and all you feel is relief and then still feel the same. happiness comes from within, enjoy the progress, be grateful for life.
So far this weekend was the start of that. Im looking forward to taking some time monday night to be grateful and just thank myself for going as hard as i did up to this point (especially the summer, coming home late on the train after spending money i really shouldn't, trying to compose myself through challenging approaches, knowing that even if something falls into my lap, my inexperience may prevent me from seeing it).
What I want most out of this weekend is the ability to not feel like everything hinges on each approach, i'm off the schneid and it's time to really be free.
-
mirra
- Posts: 6 | Thanks: 2
- Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2023 2:41 am
- Name: john
- Goal: 10 lays by may (2/10)
- Age: 27
it was a busy month with school/work and ive procrastinated updating this.
outside of the past weekend nothing exceptional happened except some unsuccessful nights out.
last weds i got back on the horse with daygame and had one of my best days ever.
i got an approach in early in an uncomfortable setting, no number but was happy with how i battled through.
ended up getting two numbers at the mall, im super happy that they may have been my two most socially calibrated approaches ever, meaning both of us felt natural in a flirtatious vibe and i was able to take the pressure off what i was saying and just ride with positive energy and both of the girls were receptive, just sent out some texts now.
went out that night which was a disaster, night before thanksgiving and every single bar is shoulder to shoulder.
thanksgiving with my fam in ny on thursday.
fri night my friends back home didnt want to go out so i went by myself, hit the local bar at first (usually has targets). approached a set of two girls, was instantly clear it wasnt going anywhere but i tried to frame it as i was just making friends which changed their tune and i talked to them for about 15 mins since no one else was there.
saw someone i knew there with a group and talked to him and ended up tagging along to a popular mainstreet with a dozen or so bars, always packed
had about 10 approaches there ( i was pretty drunk tbh) no reception from any hot girls and ended up making out with some girls that are not my type. on a side note ive been having nights out without drinking when im back at my place and that has been great for my mental health, i dont love drinking and when i go out to game i only order a drink just to be doing something. i actually noticed much stronger attraction being sober but those nights were also unsucessfull. returning home after spending money with no pull/number is a challenge mentally and doing it sober feels like nothing was lost.
im going to be heading out as early as possible for daygame tommorow since it gets dark early
will be doing shorter updates to be consistent with my logs
outside of the past weekend nothing exceptional happened except some unsuccessful nights out.
last weds i got back on the horse with daygame and had one of my best days ever.
i got an approach in early in an uncomfortable setting, no number but was happy with how i battled through.
ended up getting two numbers at the mall, im super happy that they may have been my two most socially calibrated approaches ever, meaning both of us felt natural in a flirtatious vibe and i was able to take the pressure off what i was saying and just ride with positive energy and both of the girls were receptive, just sent out some texts now.
went out that night which was a disaster, night before thanksgiving and every single bar is shoulder to shoulder.
thanksgiving with my fam in ny on thursday.
fri night my friends back home didnt want to go out so i went by myself, hit the local bar at first (usually has targets). approached a set of two girls, was instantly clear it wasnt going anywhere but i tried to frame it as i was just making friends which changed their tune and i talked to them for about 15 mins since no one else was there.
saw someone i knew there with a group and talked to him and ended up tagging along to a popular mainstreet with a dozen or so bars, always packed
had about 10 approaches there ( i was pretty drunk tbh) no reception from any hot girls and ended up making out with some girls that are not my type. on a side note ive been having nights out without drinking when im back at my place and that has been great for my mental health, i dont love drinking and when i go out to game i only order a drink just to be doing something. i actually noticed much stronger attraction being sober but those nights were also unsucessfull. returning home after spending money with no pull/number is a challenge mentally and doing it sober feels like nothing was lost.
im going to be heading out as early as possible for daygame tommorow since it gets dark early
will be doing shorter updates to be consistent with my logs