Victor's Progress Log

[victorcr1]

Hello everyone. I, Victor, commit to completing the approach anxiety program’s 6 weeks of drills before the 22nd of June 2024. I will be reporting my progress in this log.

[victorcr1]

Day 3

Following the programs guidance today I reviewed my Tinder profile by changing some pictures and using some newer ones. I also opened accounts on Bumble, Hinge and Badoo to increase numbers.

This exposure to feedback on my actual looks/physique feels actually hard, but I hope I can use it to take action and start improving my looks, fashion, etc. (and consequently my pictures), so thanks to everyone who responds in advance. Feel free to comment both on what pictures to remove/include and actual suggestions on my looks (haircut, beard, clothes, vibes, etc.). I also included in the post other pictures that didn't make it to Tinder just in case someone gives me feedback on them (or suggests to actually use them in profile).

Overview:

overview.png

Picture 1 (only one I included from a professional photo shoot I took last year)

CrisAndina_Víctor_110.jpg

Picture 2:

PXL_20240307_122130638.jpg

Picture 3:

PXL_20230905_093244597.jpg

Picture 4:

PXL_20231217_101336146.jpg

Picture 5:

PXL_20230908_092611657.jpg

Finally I also used 2 pictures where I appear with friends in a social context (at a restaurant and at a park):

Group pic 1:

grupo_ingles_modif.jpg

Group pic 2:

grupo2.jpg

-------------------------------
Left out pictures:
Left out 1 (professional):

CrisAndina_Víctor_42.jpg

Left out 2 (professional):

CrisAndina_Víctor_93.jpg

Left out 3 (professional):

CrisAndina_Víctor_151byn.jpg

Left out 4:

PXL_20230415_232004250.jpg

Left out 5:

PXL_20231104_101032458.MP.jpg

Left out 6:

PXL_20230418_181359478.jpg

Left out 7:

PXL_20240414_114441054.MP (1).jpg

[pancakemouse]

Day 3

Following the programs guidance today I reviewed my Tinder profile by changing some pictures and using some newer ones. I also opened accounts on Bumble, Hinge and Badoo to increase numbers.

This exposure to feedback on my actual looks/physique feels actually hard, but I hope I can use it to take action and start improving my looks, fashion, etc. (and consequently my pictures), so thanks to everyone who responds in advance. Feel free to comment both on what pictures to remove/include and actual suggestions on my looks (haircut, beard, clothes, vibes, etc.). I also included in the post other pictures that didn't make it to Tinder just in case someone gives me feedback on them (or suggests to actually use them in profile).

Overview:
overview.png

Picture 1 (only one I included from a professional photo shoot I took last year)
CrisAndina_Víctor_110.jpg

Picture 2:
PXL_20240307_122130638.jpg

Picture 3:
PXL_20230905_093244597.jpg

Picture 4:
PXL_20231217_101336146.jpg

Picture 5:
PXL_20230908_092611657.jpg

Finally I also used 2 pictures where I appear with friends in a social context (at a restaurant and at a park):

Group pic 1:
grupo_ingles_modif.jpg

Group pic 2:grupo2.jpg

-------------------------------
Left out pictures:
Left out 1 (professional):
CrisAndina_Víctor_42.jpg

Left out 2 (professional):CrisAndina_Víctor_93.jpg

Left out 3 (professional):
CrisAndina_Víctor_151byn.jpg

Left out 4:
PXL_20230415_232004250.jpg

Left out 5:
PXL_20231104_101032458.MP.jpg

Left out 6:
PXL_20230418_181359478.jpg

Left out 7:
PXL_20240414_114441054.MP (1).jpg

From your profile, remove photo 2 (lonely) and 3 (skinny). Remove both group photos as you aren't the center of attention. Crop the beach one so you look taller.

Add in Left out 3, this may be your best photo as you have a small skinny frame you so you will get best results with your head and chest only.

[victorcr1]

Day 4 Drill (Level 1)

• Walk up to 5 women and ask them for the time. LEAVE.

Today I did the first drill with relative ease, which made me feel great. Every interaction happened in the same order

• Hello, what time it is? (In reality it was in spanish: “Hola, qué hora es? or ¿Disculpa, tienes hora?)

• Oh (looks at mobile and gives time).

• Thank you! (And i leave)

I could observe that the range of emotions accross the 5 ‘approaches’ varied greatly. There was this girl (arguably the hottest) which after I established eye contact with her and saluted she stopped, took off both of her earphones right away and gave me her full attention, with a slightly positive emotion. That made me feel great.

Looking forward to tomorrow for next set of drills.

Thanks a lot @pancakemouse for the tips on the Tinder pictures.

[BoneyG]

Hey Victor, cool to see someone else doing the AA program at the same time I am. May your Victory over approach anxiety be complete and merciless!
Looking forward to following your progress and leeching off you in times of low motivation .

Your new supporter and random Internet stranger,
BoneyG

[MakingAComeback]

Welcome Victor!

[victorcr1]

Day 5

• Walk up to 5 women and ask them for the time. LEAVE.

• Walk up to 5 women again an ask them for the time, but do the drill faster. LEAVE.

Asked for time to 5 girls, rested for around 10 minutes, and asked another 5. I found I was way less nervous than yesterday. I would say almost not nervous at all. One thing I noticed though is that as soon as I open and girls start reaching for their phone my brain can’t wait to say “Thank you” and leave. What I mean is that I still don’t feel comfortable and as soon as I open I am looking forward to leave.

Regardless of this the day was easy after completing yesterday's drill. Looking forward for day 7 where directions and ‘Have you been there’ question gets introduced.

[BoneyG]

One thing I noticed though is that as soon as I open and girls start reaching for their phone my brain can’t wait to say “Thank you” and leave. What I mean is that I still don’t feel comfortable and as soon as I open I am looking forward to leave.

Felt the same thing when I started too. Now it's basically gone for me, even in longer interactions with multiple questions. This is probably a common side-effect of the program.

Getting started is now my issue. When I know I have to ask further, slightly weirder questions, it's sometimes hard for me to even ask for the time and I let many girls slip by. Then also if I do manage to get the time but the girl doesn't stop walking, I don't always have the stomach to continue my questions and so let her go with a "thank you." Definitely need to work on that.

Can I ask if you only approach girls you could potentially be in interested (as in similar age, not fat, etc.) rather than indiscriminately (as in saggy aunties and grannies)? I know Chris said approach anyone without a dick but I find that does not really simulate the dynamic of a real approach which we want to be exposed to, unless done to the proper sort of girls. I ask because I just had a shitty day at the mall today avoiding old women, fat women, old fat women, and families and finding just enough volume for one set of 3 reps.

[victorcr1]

Day 6

• Time, Leave

• Time, Directions, Leave

• Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave

• Repeat this 5 times today, you will speak to 15 girls in total.

Today was hard to complete, but after around 90 minutes I managed to do it. I was super happy and satisfied at the end.

It was rainy but I wanted to do it anyways, so I took a bus to the most popular mall in the City. Asking for time and directions was easy, but asking the ‘Have you been there’ got me pretty nervous.

Since I was at the mall, I asked “Do you know where the cinmea is?” since at this mall there is a cinema in the third floor. All reactions where pretty good. Some answered they didn’t know where the cinema was, so I repeated those for them to count.

On the 12th approach, when I had to ask for time, directions and have you been there, the reaction was AWESOME. The girl gave me her full attention, and when I asked where the cinema was, she started giving super detailed explanations of how to get there (instead of just saying “Third floor” LOL). After she finished, I asked her the “Have you been there” and she said “Yeah, they are pretty cool…” And went on talking with excitement about some of the features the cinema had.

My brain was not giving credit. On one side my fight or flight mode was screaming me to leave. On the other side I was soooo happy inside. She even asked me if I was meeting someone and what movie I was going to watch. I replied with some vague answers and said I was watching Civil Ware LOL, and even talked about the movie. After this we ended up saying goodbye, but I had the feeling she might have wanted me to ask her out.

Once I walked away I felt so happy and excited about what just happened that I could not stop smiling and even laughing by my own. The emotion was so intense that I even felt like crying, but just kept laughing. Reflecting on this, it came to my mind that all the approach anxiety and other problems I have could be rooted in the feeling that I am not worthy of being desired by women. Then, when my brain sees that this might not be true (after that positive interaction), it ‘explodes’ with positive emotion and lets go accumulated negative emotion. Not sure about this but I think it is a real possibility.

[victorcr1]

Felt the same thing when I started too. Now it's basically gone for me, even in longer interactions with multiple questions. This is probably a common side-effect of the program.

Getting started is now my issue. When I know I have to ask further, slightly weirder questions, it's sometimes hard for me to even ask for the time and I let many girls slip by. Then also if I do manage to get the time but the girl doesn't stop walking, I don't always have the stomach to continue my questions and so let her go with a "thank you." Definitely need to work on that.

Yeah it is the worst feeling when they don't stop but at the same time it feels great when they give you full attention.

Can I ask if you only approach girls you could potentially be in interested (as in similar age, not fat, etc.) rather than indiscriminately (as in saggy aunties and grannies)? I know Chris said approach anyone without a dick but I find that does not really simulate the dynamic of a real approach which we want to be exposed to, unless done to the proper sort of girls. I ask because I just had a shitty day at the mall today avoiding old women, fat women, old fat women, and families and finding just enough volume for one set of 3 reps.

Yes, I only approached girls I could potentially be interested in. That is what made me wander around the mall for 90 long minutes. The mall was crowded but finding attractive women (excluding moms with kids and couples) was way harder than I initially thought.

[BoneyG]

My brain was not giving credit. On one side my fight or flight mode was screaming me to leave. On the other side I was soooo happy inside. She even asked me if I was meeting someone and what movie I was going to watch. I replied with some vague answers and said I was watching Civil Ware LOL, and even talked about the movie. After this we ended up saying goodbye, but I had the feeling she might have wanted me to ask her out.

Once I walked away I felt so happy and excited about what just happened that I could not stop smiling and even laughing by my own. The emotion was so intense that I even felt like crying, but just kept laughing. Reflecting on this, it came to my mind that all the approach anxiety and other problems I have could be rooted in the feeling that I am not worthy of being desired by women. Then, when my brain sees that this might not be true (after that positive interaction), it ‘explodes’ with positive emotion and lets go accumulated negative emotion. Not sure about this but I think it is a real possibility.

Yes! I've felt this way multiple times (minus the fight-or-flight; when it's going good I have fun sticking around) and it's amazing. It motivates me to continue approaching since it shows there's awesome girls out there you can instantly connect with if you can only find them (by approaching nearly everyone).
Your analysis of the feelings of inadequacy and subsequent emotional overload is interesting and sounds pretty convincing. Whatever the truth, the important part is that this feeling pushes us forward rather than holding us back.

I've also had that same feeling of the girl perhaps expecting me to ask her out when the interaction goes really well. I never do it partly because Chris says not to, and partly because it's in the context of an "indirect approach" which is weak and sets a bad stage. Not sure how much either of these matter if it appears the girl is obviously(?) digging you and our goal here is to Get Laid no matter what, but I'm mostly content to trust the process and forget about that until AA is a distant memory.

Yes, I only approached girls I could potentially be interested in. That is what made me wander around the mall for 90 long minutes. The mall was crowded but finding attractive women (excluding moms with kids and couples) was way harder than I initially thought.

Haha, I frequently take longer but then again I live in the suburb of a suburb and it's obvious that LA drains the hot girls straight out of my area. If there was reasonable public transportation here I would go to Santa Monica or wherever, but there is not and driving to and from LA is such a momumental logistical pain I'd rather risk a ban or reputation at the community college 10 minutes by bike from my house, even if its girls aren't really anything special.

For context, I moved back in with my parents after finishing college and while I definitely don't want to stay here with them, for the time being I have not yet really been looking at my future. It's partly a shame because I like the town itself, but in terms of girls it is a retirement home. I'm conflicted as to whether to try and move to LA where Chris came to fame but where it's also fiendishly expensive, or whether to try and move to my parents' homeland of Bulgaria where I've never lived (though I visit every summer) with an American remote job and have everything be laughably cheap. I'm also sure there'll be plenty of hot girls in the capital where I'll most likely live.

Sorry to hijack your thread to talk about myself like that

[ThelegendofJ]

After this we ended up saying goodbye, but I had the feeling she might have wanted me to ask her out.

Next time, if a set like this happens, just add: btw, what are you doing right now? If it's nothing urgent, just go to the movies together.
Seemed like you two vibed very well.

Now you know how the flight response feels like, you can recognize it and tell yourself, no, she likes me and I enjoy spending more time with her.

You are doing great man, keep on going, amazing things will happen!