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The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Thebastard
Posts: 408 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:16 pm
Goal: ....
Age: 18
Motto: ....
Location: ....

Wed Feb 10, 2021 7:48 pm

How's the muay thai going? Pretty hard core sport - do you do it just for fitness and calorie burning or do you plan (or have you) compete?
For my free 2016-2017 Golden Eagle Project pdf with commentary, PM me

2023 Goals
Sort my shit out
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Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Wed Feb 10, 2021 8:12 pm

Hey, Bastard,
For the moment I just do it for fun/self confidence and calorie burning. In the future I'd like to compete, but I'm still barely above newbie level. It's pretty damn hard to get good at martial arts.
Recently, in a sparring session, I almost hurt my right foot badly due to sloppy technique. Thankfully it wasn't a big deal.
It has been teaching me to control my emotions and my ego.
Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Mon Feb 15, 2021 9:20 pm

January 16th

Ate 1600kcal
Drawing 4h
Productivity: 7/10

January 17th
Ate 1500kcal
Woke up 6:30 am

Progressively eat less and less carbs so you keep cutting down calories.
Burnt 200kcal riding bike.

Productivity: 8.5/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10

January 18th

Woke up 6:30
Went to Muay Thai
Need to go to bed earlier
I don't know if it is that I have been a long time without doing anything muay thai wise but damn I feel those kicks. Maybe I'm getting weaker.
Reminder: being tanned is good! Dont be untaned.
My cholesterol and triglicerides are very high and my energy is shit even though I'm eating carbs. So perhaps it's just a matter of caloric restriction. Last time I cut out carbs I did lose muscle. So perhaps no.
It is good that I got my mental shit together but now I have to get back to the grind.
Need to go to odontologist to see what's going on with my gingivitis (the area around my teeth has been bleeding for years. Ever since I practiced oral sex to a girl. I suspect it is some kind of bacteria). I read an article that connects gingivitis and hyperlipidemia (high triglicerides and cholesterol).
I feel unsure to approach without my master pua armor (aka good clothes).
I'm too self conscious and autistically obsessed with my looks, even when I was able to approach I couldnt if I was badly dressed. But I could change my clothes straight after training, so this is all a big fucking excuse.
Use fear of failure as a motivator.
Saw a Jason capital video where he talks that even when he goes out and offers money in public he gets rejected (perhaps people intuitively think it's a scam, which I'm not positive it isn't).
I always have the dilemma of winning or being happy. Yes, improving myself, doing something to improve my situation, etc, makes me happy, to certain point. After a certain point of satisfaction, there are diminishing returns for your effort. Rationally, if happiness is my end goal in life, being hyper competitive doesn't make much sense. But fuck it. Why should the goal of life be to rationally make your self happy? A lot of times I have the desire of WINING, that agressive, primal, irrational drive. But it sometimes leads me to endless frustration and insatisfaction, because I always set myself very ambitious goals. So I must accept that frustration and keep going. I know that if I take self improvement to an extreme it's detrimental, I may end up going crazy or depressed or both and everything would be lost, I would be worse than where I started. I used to reject the idea of being mediocre or average but now I realize it is perfectly ok, I'm not morally superior (nor inferior) for trying to improve myself. So it is a good idea to keep a bare minimum of happiness and mental health and then go balls to the wall. I also care about validation, I would be lying if I said I don't. I want to be seen as a hard worker, as a good person (at least by my moral standards), as someone masculine, with leadership.

I think happiness, being stable and satisfied, is important, but I also like the adrenaline rush, the thrill, of facing a challenge, the sense of a target, a goal, a better place to go, a problem to solve, even a THREAT, something to HUNT, even if going after it involves a lot of frustration and unhappiness.


Drawing:8h
Ate 1700kcal, burnt 200 in muay thai
Productivity: 8/10
Mood: 7/10
Energy: 5/10

January 19th

Woke up at 8am
Anxoety is not bad. Use it in yout favor
Drawing: 8h
Productivity: 8/10
Mood: 7/10
Energy: 6/10
Ate 1700kcal burnt 300 doing cardio

January 20th

Woke up 7:30 am
Cut my hair
Drawing: 5h
Ate 1700kcal burnt 200kcal riding bike. Feeling more and more tired.
Productivity: 7/10
Mood: 7/10
Energy: 5/10

January 21st

Drawing: 5h
Ate 1700kcal, burnt 200.
Productivity: 7/10
Mood:6/10
Energy: 5/10

Felt kinda sad today. Depression is a bitch always lurking in the background...


January 22nd

Woke up 6:30 am. Went to muay thai. Felt pretty depressed the first half of the day. It is good to have failsafe measures when things get gloomy so I don't panic. Some things I do: talk to a friend, give a hug to my mum or tell I love her, remember that I felt like this in the past and made it through, take it jokingly (having a good sense of humor can save you from going insane).
Trying to cold approach today made me feel alive.
Use anxiety in your favor. Use fear as a powerful stimulus, a feeling of challenge.
Went out with the intention to approach, but couldnt do it.... fuck
I feel that if get over approach anxiety again I will be able to balance cold approach with drawing.
I'm still happy that I recovered the drive to approach and I look better than ever.
Ate 1500kcal
Burnt 200kcal in Muay thai. Feeling pretty shitty in regards to energy.
Drawing: 6h
Read 20 pages of painting book
Productivity 7/10
Mood 6/10
Energy 6/10

January 23rd

Wish I could force myself to be in a state of crazy obsession 24/7. Wish I could feel motivated without being a victim of mindless greed.
LACK OF STIMULI IS VERY INPORTANT. WE ARE OVERSTIMULATED
Read 10 pages for college
Drawing: 3h

January 24th

My sense of time got distorted during the pandemic. I remember bad approaches experiences much more closer in time than good ones.
Scapism in the right amounts is ok
As you advance in your self improvement journey, and you yourself advance, things get HARDER. You either adapt or give up and hide away.
I'm happy with the path I'm in. I have made a ton of mistakes but I'm slowly figuring things out.
I'm trying to motivate myself with movies and series I want to watch (instead of meaningless distractions). But I'm only able to watch them if I have a 9/10 weekly productivity average or higher. Create a system of rewards and punishments, sort of like McDonalds employee of the month and such.
Back in gll I set the goal of being a millionaire. It clearly didnt work out well for me. It simply wasn't authentic. I was just pressured by media, including self improvement. I'm more motivated by knowledge, meaning and creativity. The problem is, how do you measure your progress there? The best way I found is to measure the time you spend in certain area of knowledge. My main goal is to provide maximum value. With what I know I could perhaps make drawing course and use good marketing and overprice it. But I prefer to actually help people instead of teaching things I haven't done myself. I don't want to be another internet scammer.
Had a burst 9f concentration and productivity. Wish I had these more frequently, fuck. I dont know how to go berserk mode willingly. It has to do with deadlines and challenges
I'm really gonna crush it this year. I will fight a WAR against laziness.
You are going to deliver DEADLINES on time. Fuck your laziness. You dont have the right to be lazy.
No days off. Your easy days are over. HARD TIMES are coming.
You need to create a reliable pipeline.
YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BE LAZY LATER.

No MERCY with laziness.

Productivity 6/10
Mood 7/10
Energy 5/10
January 25th

Woke up 6:30
Drawing: 6h
Studying for school: 2h
Organized stuff on social media (basically, link tree on my instagram)
Download reference and 3d models

Watched a chapter of the last kingdom, with a friend. I voluntarily decided to do so, so it is not a waste of time.
Productivity: 8/10
Mood: 7/10
Energy: 5/10

January 26th

Drawing: 5h
Productivity: 7.5/10
mood: 7/10
energy: 5/10
Good mindsets:
Adversity is GOOD because it gives me the opportunity to GROW. Even my own fucks up are good in that sense (not in every sense).
How can I fix this? There's no point in thinking in past mistakes.
Don't think.
Thing that I want to develop this year: PIPELINE. A work habit/rourine that delivers good results.
Have the discipline of doing LESS

January 27th

Walked around for 20min, didnt talk to a single girl.
drawing: 5h
productivity: 7.5/10
mood: 7/10
energy: 5/10

january 28th

decided to take this week as a refeed, without counitng calories, then I will go back to cutting next week with full power, with the advantage of a faster metabolism

productive day. having a project/deadline/OTHER people that are expecting to see something from you definitely helps with the sense of purpose/achievement. i have a clearer idea of what I will do in the next 2 years. i'm definetely gonna experience exponential growth in art.
I need to create the same positive feedback loop with getting laid
the block of distractions has been very succesful.

productivity: 8/10
mood: 9/10
energy: 6/10

january 29th

woke up 6:30 am, went to muay thai.
i have been weighting the advantages and disadvantages, as I always do, of specialization vs being a generalist. i really want to know a variety of things
. but of course it comes with the cost of not being that good iat anything, or you will take longer to get there. there's always a price to everything.
being a generalist may have economic advantages, as I would be able to have a apply to a wider variety of jobs.
a very important concept is ikigai, the coincidence between financial viability, usefulness to others, natural predisposition and personal enjoyment. the important thing is that the work I do gets me to where I want to be in the future.
financial things to do with art:

made a lot of reading and thinking, drew little.
productivity: 7/10
mood: 8/10
energy: 6.5/10

january 30th

basically read and flexed my mind all day. read about art related math: metallic means, dynamic rectangles, plastic number and super golden ratio. succesfully resisted the temptation of watching a movie with family.

january 31st

felt very fatigued, with muscular pain.
it's important to keep your cool and calmness. dont go between extreme moods
specialization vs generalism
there are two limitations to generalism: mental space. it's hard to use 'different parts of the brain' (different ways of thinking). the second is time and labour capacity. not only the amount you can learn within a certain time period, but also the amount of work you can do with that knowledge.
there's also the factor that companies take you more seriously if you do just one thing.
i can specialize first and branch out later.
it is a useful question to ask myself, if I had to choose only one field, what would that be. it would definitely be character design. not only it's what interests me most, but also i think it's the least replaceable with 3d (more on that later). also, figure drawing is the most difficult, and most important (imo) skill in art. character design is a highly competitive and desired position. it would be harder to compete there, but it would force me to work really hard on those fundamental skills. it would be easier to go from character design to environment design rather than the other way around
advantages of 2d over 3d
-gesture, poses
-expressions
-different characters in a scene
-color and light
-stylization and personal style
for environment design, specially hard surface, i think 3d and or techniques such as photobashing have the upper hand
I could also do keyframes (characters within a scene/space/environment) that would require knowledge of both anatomy/figure drawing and perspective
I could learn first the basics of 3d an many different things and then choose what to specialize into.

at the same time DO WHAT YOU WANT.

february 1st

woke up 6:30 am. went to muay thai.
bought condoms. for some reason this is something that caused me a lot of anxiety.
GO WITH FULL FORCE. OBLITERATE YOUR GOALS. NO MERCY. YOU ARE IN A WAR. YOU HAVE AN ENEMY: YOUR INNER LOSER.
.
drawing: 6h. social media 30min. read book for 1h. got distracted with guitar, whatsapp and researching meaningless stuff on wikipedia (an article about buenos aires. feeling homesick perhaps)
productivity: 7.5/10
mood: 8/10
energy: 6.5/10
ate 1500kcal (back to dieting)

february 2nd

woke up 6:30 am went to muay thai.
perhaps reading about buenos aires yesterday was not a waste of time. realized that it is a pretty fuckinh good place to live (and to live the player lifestyle), -besides crazy inflation rates, moderately high crime rates in some places (in the metropolitan area though, not buenos aires proper), endemic corruption and a philo communist national and provintial governments (but the city government is liberal/capitalist, as historically has been).
My finantial mediocrity doesnt help humanity. i'd like to blame my mediocrity to my sorroundings but it is all my fault.
it sucks that I wasted so much potential because of my mental problems, indecision or having confusing ideas
FORCE YOURSELF TO TALK TO ONE GIRL. only ONE. thats DOABLE. if you cant, ask for time. you are going to be humiliated bro. you are gonna face frustration. accept that. move forward. keep going.
this is perhaps one of the roughest parts of my journey.
ate 1500kcal
drawing: 5h
reading: 1h
Productivity 7.5
Need to be MORE productive

february 3rd
woke up 6:30 am. went to muay thai.
let an approach oppprtunity (group of 3 girls) SLIP by.
DONT hesitate. WAR MENTALITY.
DONT THINK.

another thing where 2d is superior to 3d: sketching. being able to draw from imagination is like having a strong squat or deadlift, it improves everything else. a lot of my ideas have arised thanks to random doodling
even if I go fully 3d, 2d would still be part of the pipeline, in the initial stages of the creative process.
, but I'm feeling happier everyday and my future looks good, I just have to keep going
my brain torments me everyday with thoughts, but some of them might become good ideas. I always ask myself:
-how can I become an effective and productive machine.
-how I can optimize my process and environment so that I can flow easily
-how can I leverage technology so that I dont have to do the work
-how can I leverage other people's work capacity.
a lot of great artists like rubens or bernini employed other artists in their workshops. human labour is still probably the #1 form of capital. capital is related to a way of experiencing time, specifically, long term thinking. qhile money or stuff are things that have a certain amount of value now and tend to depreciate over time, an asset is something that 1) pays you regularly 2) its value compounds over time (if you invest the earnings it gave you)
evnetually I'd like to have my own concept art studio.
pay attention to logos on artstation!
I'm rethinking my opinion about logos. they can be a great tool for learning design. I also see a lot of logos on artstation pictures. they can really add to the overall feel of a project.
I'm gonna download a ton of logos from different companies and eras, even coats of arms perhaps (they are probably proto-logos?) I want to find patterns and trends in different ages and different types of brands (private pr public organization, sector of the economy, identity of the company, values. etc.). this kind of "underlying" design stuff fascinates me even more than drawing nice pictures.

photo editing seems pretty interesting as well, I can learn a lot about lighting, rendering, values, color, texture details, photobashing, etc.


ate 1500kcal can't wait to finish this cut!
drawing: 6h
productivity: 7.75/10
mood: 9/10
energy: 6.5/10

february 4th

woke up 6:30 am. went to muay thai.
skipped another good approach opportunity. my situation with approach anxiety is desperate, I cant even visualize myself apprpachingcand I cringe at the idea of approaching. fuck that. BE CRINGE.
walked around twenty minutes, couldnt approach.
freedom of choice=decision fatigue.
the price of being independent, either in money or relationships is a fuck ton of stress. but the rewards are worth the effort
it is important to have a good time qhen you approach
had the opportunity of approaching one girl at the grocery store. Asked her for the time. baby steps. this means a lot actually, I'm basically starting from scratch. she was really hot. she seemed very sweet (at least by the way she talked to the employee). Having the prospect of having a wife like that

DO BOTH 2D AND 3D. STOP MAKING EXCUSES. You are on the right path.

i'm listening to a lot of videos about economics. I found it very interesting that value is so subjective and tied to human and psychological factors
division of labor is a very important concept too

stability and trust is key for economic growth. this is true for my life too

a free market economy is the most efficient way of re allocating resources. I’m brainwashing myself with classical liberalism
ate 1500kcal
drawing: 30min. reading: 4h
productivity: 7/10
mood: 8/10
energy: 6/10
february 5th

woke up 6:30 went to muay thai
had sparring and did some stupid things. I hate losing so I let my short term emotions take the best of me. on the other hand I feel alive when I am competing, I like that agressive part of me.
this goes against me when I cold approach, because I hate being rejected
it's easier for me to approach with other people because I'm competing.
asked a girl for the time. then asked another thing. baby steps
now that I've cooled down mentally and physically I realize how dumb I was, I let my ego, my monkey mind control me. now I can barely walk. And now I have another perfect excuse not to approach.
know your adversaries' argument better than them.
February 7th

woke up 8:20 am
listened to a podcast with the founder of platzi, a latin american online education startup. summary
what a CEO does:
-brings a vision to the company. what to do and most important what NOT to do.
-Hires the best team of high performing people. A company is not one person, it is a group of people. Being a leader is not just giving orders, it involves a lot of negotiation. Individuals can start a fire but only groups can extinguish one. A company is not a family. You cant fire your family if they underperform
-Makes sure the company survives. a company dies when there is no more cashflow. most companies have a life expectancy inferior to the average person.
a CEO doesnt do "what he loves".
Being a founder requires not having fear of failure. You can effectively put a lot of effort for 10 years and fail miserably. when you work a job you have guarantee, a stable income. if you do what you are told, you receive your reward. when you are on your own, everything is more chaotic and uncertain. effort doesnt equal reward. it is like cold approach, even if there's no risk, you subject yourself to pain and humiliation without a guaranteed outcome. You might be that guy who's obsessed about getting laid but doesn't get laid.
You basically have to overcome human nature.
success=skills+contacts

the training has to be so intense that the war is relaxing

creating a startup (specially a software startup) is not so much like building a building, but more like gardening a garden. it is dynamic, it changes. if you stop keeping the garden it dies. that's why passive income is a bit of a delusion, a business is not a rent.

Good companies are not unicorns, they are cockroaches, they survive the most cataclysmic event. Be a cockroach.
-‐--------

I think myself as a content creator. I dont want to be an artisan that creates handicrafts. I want to be a designer that creates intellectual property.

ate 1500kcal. Drawing: 1h Reading: 6h
Productivity 7.5/10
mood: 8/10
energy: 6/10

when your body is damaged, your body synthetizes endorphines to alliviate the pain. the same is true for psychological trauma. this is to say, coping is a healthy mechanism. it's not all about stoically facing pain. but this doesn't mean that you have to rely on an external medicine (although this is not "bad" either). when you are endangered or in pain, not only you are forced to develop strategies to improve your situation or remove the source of that pain, but you are also forced to develop mechanisms to feel good even in the worse of situations.

February 8th

Drawing: 2h
Reading: 6h
Ate 1700kcal
Productivity 7.5/10
mood: 8/10
energy: 6/10

February 9th

Drawing: 0h
Reading: 6h
Ate 1700kcal
Productivity 7/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10

went out to approach. wandered for around 1h FAIL. Only asked for the hour to one girl.

February 10th
woke up 6:30 went to muay thai
went out to apprpach but failed

February 11th
woke up 6:30 went to muay thai
didnt approach
Ate 1500kcal
Productivity: 7/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10

February 12th
woke up 6:30 went to muay thai
had one opportunity to approach, didnt do it.
listened a little bit a video from a guy that does logos
-the amount you are paid is not just about you, the value of your work, it's about THE CLIENT you are working with (the more valuable the client, the more they can pay. also, if they are a bigger company, your service is going to generate more revenues. your service can be like a multiplier for their sales).
-charge for value, not for time. time is money, and time is your most valuable asset. that means that you shouldn't sell your time, it's too valuable. you should your ideas/experience/skills/product/technology/etc, not a labor that's limited to your time and energy. money should work for you, not the other way around. however this mentality doesnt apply for me yet, I should get my ego aside and accept that I'm still in the lower ranks.
How to stack the deck in your favor (basic machiavellism): you give them the choice between a option that's favorable to you and another that's slightly less favorable. The trick is that you are the one handing the cards.
selling is about the state of your prospect

Did a cold immersion bath. Muay Thai teacher recommended it for recovery. it felt really good. But the bathroom flooded. So I have to go back to cold showers.

Damn, I hate when things like plumbing or electricity or internet dont work. Forget the lamborghini and the house on Beverly Hills, I want to be able to pay people that can fix my problems so I dont even have to THINK about them. I want my head thinking on important things, not some immediate logistical problem.

When I was younger, we had a maid in our house. I miss that. I miss being upper middle class.
Wealth is so weird. There are so many levels. One of them is social class. It took me a lot of time to accept that I really want to be on the upper end of the spectrum.

important thought: You will do a very limited number of projects/things in your life. You better think very well where you are going to put your attention. It's like boxing match, it's better to hit one or two knock-out punches than to make a hundred of aimless weak attacks.

Productivity 6.5/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10

February 13th
I'm ANGRY. I dont have what I want and I am not doing enough to have it
Rode bike, ate 1700kcal
Productivty: 7/10
Mood: 6/10
Energy: 5/10
Music helps me a lot to improve my mood.

Financial things I need to learn:
-Value my work!
-Improve my relationship with money. Like literally love cash. Instead of feeling bad/guilty about it.
-ASK for money. Learn to raise capital. Stop feeling that debt is bad. Excess spending is bad. Excess frugality is bad.
-My mentality is to create LUXURY PREMIUM ITEMS
Problem with platforms like fiverr is, the other person is setting the price. Move on to something better as soon as you can.
February 14th

Slept pretty badly
Ate 1600kcal
Reading: 3h
Drawing: 2h
I forgot how much I enjoyed drawing. I just need to be less perfectionistic.

February 15th
Again had trouble sleeping. Felt very anxious. I feel like I'm not doing enough. Couldnt avoid watching videos about logos. I'm obsessed and I cant turn my brain off

Additional thoughts:
-I lost about 0.5kg... in one month. The last few % of body fats are the hardest. Things I probably miscalculated: I probably don't burn as many calories in Muay Thai as I thought. Need to add some low intensity cardio (bike). I didn't account for the fat I use to cook. I also underestimated the amount of meat I eat. Fatty cuts have quite a lot of calories.
-Approach anxiety: I hide behind excuses like it's not my number one goal, I live too far away from downtown, lockdown restrictions make approach harder, I'm not lean yet, I haven't approached in a long time so I have approach anxiety again... The reality is I need to get in there and execute.
-Art: I need to define my goal more clearly. My brain is divided between working on fiverr doing illustrations and logos for a while so I can have some income now and then work on getting a job as character designer of a videogame company or focus exclusively on the latter now until I achieve success.
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Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Reservoir
Posts: 311 | Thanks: 48
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 8:02 pm
Name: Dimitri
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30

Mon Feb 15, 2021 9:42 pm

Sisyphus wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 9:20 pm
Need to go to odontologist to see what's going on with my gingivitis (the area around my teeth has been bleeding for years. Ever since I practiced oral sex to a girl. I suspect it is some kind of bacteria)
Same here. Right after I started sleeping with a bunch of tinder girls in January, the bleeding started (not to mention the 2 anginas). Coincidence, or is it the sudden foreign bacteria exposure?
  • Goals:
    • 1 cold approach lay
    • 5 approaches in 1 day
    • 10 approaches in 1 day
    • 20 approaches in 1 day
    • Reach Milestone: 20 lifetime lays [29/20]
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Tue Mar 16, 2021 12:05 am

February 16th

Rode bike. Ate 1700kcal
Drawing: 6h
Reading: 1h
Prpductivity: 8/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10

February 17th

Drawing: 6h
Rode bike
Atr 1700kcal
Productivity: 8/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10



February 18th

woke up 6:30am. went to muay thai
Rode bike
Advantages of going freelance on fiverr:

white boy
third world country
can draw better than competition

Ate 1700kcal
Fucked up and wasted time
Productivity: 6.5/10


February 19th

one of my goals is to do livestream of me drawing and painting
Fucked up and wasted time.
Productivity: 6/10

Atec1700kcal

February 20th

Thought about creating my own videogame development/publisher startup. Or maybe a concept art/game art/modelling outsourcing company. Getting a lot of ideas.

DAMN i need to start doing BJJ. One of the things I'll do when I make money.

February 21st

Ate 1400kcal
Rode bike
Productivity 7.5/10
Mood: 8.5/10
Energy: 7/10
feeling pretty tense/anxious everyday
I'm having some ideas about making a latin american Studio Ghibli or a latin american Blizzard. That would be a dope startup.
Made a budgeting spreadsheet on excel, planning for when I move out.
Made a list on word a out advantages and disadvantages of working freelance. I'm debating a friend thats trying, with the best intentions, to kill my dream. But I'm giving him compelling rational reasons of why working freelance on fiverr is better than working for the government or most private organizations. Social security is bullshit, you can set aside your own savings for difficult times. it just happens that human nature is short term and cant take responsible financial decisions and needs an external entity to take care of him.
some more advanced hustlers would even say fuck savings and spend every penny and that will force you to work more.
Need to stop making my own food and spend money in eating out to save TIME.
Went to bed late and had trouble sleeping.

February 22nd

Videogames tend to be considered as a waste of time/entertainment. But what if I can use its addictiveness to educate/bring something of value to the player? The games I have fond memories of have some kind of story or message or underlying logic or ethos. Games like fifa or counter strike are the ones I regret playing

Game art outsourcing company definitely seems more reasonable, for some reason

February 23rd

woke up 6:30 went to muay thai. Let 5 girls that I wanted to approach slip by.
I noticed that I havent thought exactly what I'd like to buy. On one hand, the thing that makes me most interested about money is that it's one of the most objective indicators of your real performance that exist. I see it as a benchmark of what most people agree is valuable. On the other hand, it is vital to solve a lot of practical problems: administrative/repetitive tasks, things that break, technical knowledge that is outside of your expertise, mentoring/coaching/education, traveling, saving your life/well being. Money is very useful. It's crazy that I have denied its value for so long. But I also want to buy some luxuries. I'm not much into cars. I'm ok qith using the public transport. I do want a huge beautiful mansion. I'm really into classical architecture.
I'd like to have an apartament in a big city and a huge house in the countryside, with lots of land and cattle. I also want to travel to: US (New York and LA), Europe (London, Paris, Rome, Madrid, Berlin and St Petersburg) and Asia (Tokio, Hong Kong and Seoul). I want to live in some of these places for a relatively long time (1 year) and learn language, culture, erc. I'm trying to visualize this things with specificity and intensity.
Perhaps what I don't like is ostentation (showing off on social media). I like luxury and would enjoy the comforts many can afford, but I'd rather enjoy it privately. Just like getting laid.

It is astonishing to me that most people are willing to expose their privacy on social media but are afraid to show their face in a forum like this, that is much less likely to use your information illicitly

February 24th

Woke up 6:30. Went to Muay Thai. Asked directions to one girl. Held eye contact with a woman across the street for 5 seconds. One of the things that makes me the most anxious is approaching in public transport.

Ate 1500kcal
Reading: 3h
Productivity: 6.5/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 5/10

February 25th
Woke up 6:30 went to muay thai
Ate 1500kcal
Reading/studying: 4h
Productivity: 7/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 4/10

February 26th
Woke up 6:30 went to Muay Thai
ate 1650kcal
studying: 5h
Productivity: 7.5/10
Mood: 7/10
Energy: 6/10

February 27th
woke up late
ate 1650kcal
Productivity: 7.5/10
Mood: 8/10
Energy: 5/10

February 28th
woke up late
ate 1700kxal
rode bike (250kcal)
Studying: 6h
Productivity: 7.5/10


march 1st

woke up late
ate 1800kcal
rode bike (250kcal)
Studying: 6h
Prodyctivity: 7.5/10
wasted lots of time watching mma/muay thai/boxing clips

March 2nd

studied all day
Productivity: 9/10

March 3rd

studied all day
productivity 8.5/10

March 4th
Ate 1600kcl

March 5th

Excel spreadsheet, researching about bills and taxes: 5h
Drawing: 1h
Productivity: 7.5/10
Mood: 8/10

March 6th
Wasted tons of time watching mma and muay thai videos.
Again, been reading about taxes/bills to get a general idea of my lifestyle cost.
Also made a list of things I want to buy (designer clothes, seminars, travel, mortgage)

March 7th

Researched about the basics of the stock market.
I've been feeling good lately in terms of mood.
Recently I remembered the times in my virgin teenage years (2011) when I messed around with Linux. One thing I was really interested in was different desktop environments (gnome, kde, lxde), and I would try different themes/eyecandy. Guess I was always attracted to visual design, including UI/UX.
Did 50 burpees.
Productivity: 7/10
Mood: 8/10

March 8th
Woke up 6:30am
Let 5 girls that I wanted to talk to slip by. I'm still a fucking pussy.
Held or tried to hold eye contact with about 3 women though
Been relistening some of the old gll videos, specifically the success principles. Damn, I needed to hear some pep talk. Take action, work harder not smarter, failure sucks but not trying will be your greatest regret, define success etc. Those are fucking goldmines, arguably better than the get laid stuff. There is also this other video, the number one reason entrepreneurs quit and that really hit home. In contrast to the other videos, here he goes a little bit easier. One of the things that sets him apart from other gurus is his sports background.
I could relate a lot to his hockey anecdote. I was exactly the same for tennis, naturally talented but with a shitty mindset and huge ego that stunted my growth.

March 9th
Woke up 6:30 am went to muay thai
Yesterday I watched a video where a guy demistified wing chun (and basically most martial arts that are not tested in a practical situation). He was a practitioner himself for many years and slowly stopped "believing" once he started sparring with people from other types of training. Main lesson is, it is always good to maintain a healthy dose of skepticism. This is one situation where working smart not hard does apply. I mean, just think about all the money and, more important, time, YEARS that these people invest into mastering these essentially useless coreographies. Just because you put into a lot of work into something it doesn't mean you're gonna be succesful. Working hard makes things even worse, because you are even more reluctant to give things up, you have fallen in love with your achievements so much that you can't get out of that box (sunk cost or concorde effect).

The problem with trying to work 'smart' is when you think you can skip testing things empirically and just figure it all on your own and make theories out of your imagination that sound good and seem to make sense but don't actually work in the real world. When reality contradicts your beliefs you make excuses and keep searching for more information that confirms your beliefs.

A genuinely scientific attitude is just the opposite, one of curiosity, of constant questioning. You have to be humble and open for feedback from others that are able to view you more objectively.
Chris certainly had that experience with the pua community. Sometimes I'm skeptical of the gll dogmas too. Yes, it is possible to get laid through cold approach, there is evidence for that.

However, the evidence for the quality (hotness, status) of the girls is sometimes a little bit more shaky. When met with criticism in this particular aspect, I've seen people coming up with bullshit excuses similar to the pua community (beauty is subjective blah blah blah). If cold approach is so effective, why 99% of guys I know in real life that get laid do so through social circle or have a girlfriend? There is evidence for that in gll too. There is also evidence in gll for guys trying their hardest with cold approach and achieving results inferior to expected. All of the sudden things like looks and demographics (shithole city, less demand for men in the sexual market thanks to dating apps, etc) can shift the odds against you ever so slightly that it makes 'going all in' not worth it if you account for the time cost and psychological cost (moments of high stress/anxiety, deflated self esteem, social burn out, etc).

Chris was an already good looking guy with social and sexual experience in one of the best cities in the world for getting laid, in a particular stage of his life. But even Chris said that most of his lays came from the party scene. I'm not saying let's give up self improvement because there are things that we can't control, my situation is not perfect etc, but rather, let's not follow an idea fanatically and expect things to magically work in our favor. That's the definition of wishful thinking.

I'm facing the same feelings of disbelief towards drawing. It's something aesthetically pleasant that doesn't have much usefulness (it does though, in some contexts, for example, in the development stages of some entertainment products, or for advertising/promoting those products). The difference is, the main reason I did it in the first place was because it looked good and I enjoyed. But I still made these assumptions:
1-if I worked on my passion, money would follow.
2-if I worked on my passion I would
enjoy my work so much that it wouldn't be work and I wouldn't need much money to live.
3-I couldn't be happy with anything else
I have been questioning these assumptions:
1-No, money doesn't just magically fall from the sky. Unless you are solving problems for other people, no one is coming to save you, no matter how passionate you are or how much you feel you deserve praise.
2-Not exactly, you do one thing for enough time and it becomes a little bit repetitive. Anything that involves money, deadlines and accountability automatically becomes work. You are human, and sometimes you just won't be "in the zone". Not every project is the same, not every client is the same, some will be more fun, some will be more boring.
You need certain amount of money to live. You need money to travel, you need money to buy a house, you need money if a fatal accident happens to you or your family, you need money to help others or support your family, you need money to buy equipment, you need money to have access to education. You also have a big ego and want to buy luxury items that make you feel important.
3-While there are certain professions that are a no, there others that I enjoy or can learn to enjoy where making money is easier (graphic design, more technical 3d jobs, etc.).

March 10th
Woke up 6:30am went to muay thai.
What I'm starting to understand is that you can weight pros and cons to everything, and you can use any argument to justify anything. At the end of the day though you have to trust your instinct and take your shot, take the chance of making mistakes. it's almost always better to make decisions, win or lose, than doing nothing.

March 11th
Felt completely exhausted after sparring yesterday (both from the hits and muscle soreness).
Ate 1600kcal

March 12th
Reading/Research about economics 6h
Ate 1600kcal
Productivity: 7.0
Mood: 7.0

March 13th
Ate 1600kcal
Reading/Research about economics 6h
Productivity: 7.0

March 14th

Reading: 3h
Drawing: 1h.
Damn I forgot how much I enjoyed drawing.
Rode bike (burnt 200kcal)
Ate 1500kcal

:arrow: First pic (above) is before the cut (12/15/20) second pic (below) is after the cut . (3/15/21)
I'm lean (about 10% bodyfat) but I'm not crazy lean. In the next 21 days I want to get to 8% bodyfat. Reasons:
-It looks better
-I want to break my last " leaness PR".
-It gives me more room for bulking after the cut.
. My scale is fucked up I think, it varies a lot (at the same time of the day, empty bladder). I believe it changes with temperature but that's just speculation. Today I weighted 69.2kg but a few days ago 68.5kg.

:arrow: Didn't made a lot of progress with my illustration porftolio, made a lot of bullshit excuses, like I have to study for x final or researching about economics or the videogame industry.

To be honest I know I have to drop out school in order to be succesful with illustration, I can't juggle both, I'm already a perfectionist and I'm bad at doing things at a bare minimum standard. I'm scared about what my parents are gonna think. I know it's completely irrational, but it's still hard to pull the trigger.

Neither my therapist nor my best friend support me dropping out of school. That's the reason why I felt I needed to make a 5 pages word document arguing in favor of my position. One of the points I argue is why freelancing and/or working remotely in this day and age is better than many traditional jobs, why they are not that secure, why social security is inferior vs earning more and managing your own savings for retirement/in case shit happens, etc. (as long as you are responsable and not spend everything). It's not 100% procrastination to research about this, but from this point onwards I think it's mental masturbation.

Luckily I have been connecting with people that are succesful with freelance illustration, that helps to keep my morale high/believe I can do it.

What has also been torturing my mind is that there seems to be so many opportunities. I have been seriously considering something more profitable than illustration (copywriting, marketing, coding). I feel a lot of FOMO and I feel guilty about leaving money on the table. The answer to that is, I will probably be able to make ends meet if I go serious at illustration. As long as I do something seriously, instead of not doing anything because of indecision, I won't regret it.

:arrow: I have been slacking in the girls department too, besides trying to meet up unsuccesfully with girls on Tinder.
My logistics suck for getting laid, but:
1) I could still approach girls. I hate feeling that approach anxiety is owning me.
2) I could still find a way to get laid at the girls' house.

:arrow: So, my short mid term goals:
1) Make 5 portfolio pieces (render my already existing sketches, actually).
2) Get to 8% bodyfat
3) If I accomplish the above, cold approach 30 girls.

@Reservoir I don't really know. Now I remember, I also started to use a mouthguard at the time I developed gingivitis, so it could be that.
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Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Sat Apr 17, 2021 2:41 am

March 16th
Pussed out, let 4 girls slip by.
Ate 1700kcal
Drawing: 7h
Felt pretty burnt out, probably because of my left leg still recovering. Need to go lighter on sparring, it is not profitable to be disabled.
Productivity: 8.0
Mood: 9.0

March 16th


Ate 1600kcal
Drawing: 2h
Productivity: 7.0/10
Mood: 7.0/10

March 17th

I'm sitting here, after walking forc1h trying to approach. Approach anxiety came back with a vengeance.
Asked one girl for directions. She smiled at me a lot :). Felt pretty good inmediatly aftwrwards but anxiety came back. Got checked out 3 or 4 times. I'm definitely above average looking at this point. I'm still trying to get validation though. I wont rest until I'm able to approach without hesitation, without feeling bad after a rejection or creeped out reaction (which scare me the most)
I'm broke, I don't get laid, I feel like a loser, but I'm a happy man with a dream. The underdog narrative can be very powerful.

Ate 1800kcal

March 19th

Ate 1800kcal
Went to Muay Thai and did my first tenis lesson in ages
Researching/Reading: 2h
Productivity: 6.5

March 21st

Reading 5h
Productivity: 7.0
Ate 1800kcal
Felt very fatigued the days after muay thai and tenis

March 22nd

Reading/listening to business related content 4h
Productivity: 6.0 I'm reaching a point of diminishing returns on reading things. it's no longer productive

March 23rd

Important: Be NORMAL. Sometimes this self improvement thing can put you in very weird mental places.

Laughter is very important

Ate 1800kcal
Reading: 3h
Productivity: 6.0/10
Mood: 7.0/10

March 24th

Time wasted: 3h
Productivity: 6.0/10

March 25th

Woke up 6:30 went to muay thai
Asked one girl for the time and another for directions.
Let 4 good chances slip by.
Did some tedious work for college
Wasted lots of time, played guitar a lot.
Productivity: 6.0/10
Ate 1500kcal

March 26th

Reading: 3h
Wasted lots of time.
Felt useless, lazy and like a waste of space.

March 27th
Productivity 6.0/10
Ate 1600kcal
Need to stop being so philosophical and start to have more COMMON SENSE. More WORK, less talk.
You know when you are doing things right. Stop worrying about ethics.

March 28th

Reading: 5h
Productivity: 6.5/10
Mood: 8/10
Ate 1600kcal

March 29th

Woke up 6:30. Went to Muay Thai
Hung out with a guy from muay thai. Working class dude, younger than me, came to this city a few months ago from a poorer province.
Very hard working and motivated dude.
He worked in manual labor, and now is working as a pizza cook (but he quit his last job cause the hoven was old/broken so he always burnt his arm)
He was quite extroverted too, supposedly he cold approached some and got laid.
Had some crazy stories too, on one occasion he was involved in an accident with his motorcycle and almost died (like, he was dead for some minutes and the doctors reanimated him).
For some reason the first time I fought this guy I knew he was "from the school of hard knocks". As esoteric as it may sound, you can tell from the look of the eyes of a person when they have the thick skin, the inner drive etc etc.
He had his share of insecurities like most of us, but overall carries himself around in a way different than most people. I'm trying to mimic his positive outlook on life.
The conclusion is, comfort does really kill you. Lack of comfort brings the best of you a lot of times. No matter how much self improvement content you consume, you need to be exposed to uncomfortable experiences, otherwise you'll end up like a lot of first world incels that bitch about the tiniest thing, while less "privileged" guys with more drive take all the money and girls.
I always need to remind myself to STOP FUCKING PHILOPHIZING. JUST LIVE LIFE GET EXPERIENCE, STOPCLIVING IN YOUR HEAD.
I was pretty motivated to cold approach after this encounter. Had some 4 good chances and I chickened out. I'm not gonna make oaths or anything but I will say that I haven't felt like this in a long time. It felt AWFUL. It was a long time since I had this bitter taste in my mouth. It's worse than rejection. I don't care if I'm a loser, a creep or whatever with 1000 approaches and don't get laid. I prefer that than being this pretty boy that's scared to talk to girls.
JUST MOVE FORWARD.

Went out to help my mom orient herself. Useful excuse to go out of my house. Held eye contact with a girl for a split second. I'm going back to the battlefield for more action. I'm not gonna let approach anxiety win over me.

Doing work in privacy is much harder than doing work at a workplace with other people

STOP DISCOUNTING THE FUTURE.

STOP OVERESTIMATING SMALL PROBABILITIES. STOP UNDERESTIMATING BIG PROBABILITIES.

STOP BEING AVERSE TO LOSS.
STOP FEARING RISK AND UNCERTAINTY.

START VALUING OPPORTUNITY COSTS.

Walked around for 30min, did 2 approaches. One was a polite rejection, another was a confused reaction:
favorable points in my part: -felt confident in my looks, no bullshit thoughts.
-they were both with their mother/older relatives.
-The first one was moving.
-This corona shit makes approaching slightly more difficilt.

Happy with my performance overall.

Man, I miss going out SO much

Future hasnt felt so bright in ages
The emotional bank account is so fucking important.
I'm trying to internalize this mindset I learnt at Muay Thai: stop trying to win every time. This is counter intuitive, but if you want to win long term you need to stop putting so much value on short terms defeats. Why? Because it blocks your learning process. Everything is at a stake. You put expectations too high and you are more likely to quit

Productivity: 7.5/10
Ate 1750 calories

March 30th

Woke up 6:30 went to Muay Thai.
Approached one girl. Not very receptive. Followed her a little bit though. I'm trying to work through that mental block (being to insistent or annoying). Not because I think it will increase my chances with non receptive girls, but for mindset purposes (50% of why I do cold approach) Felt some euphoria that quiclky faded away
I did let some chances slip by, specially in public transport, something which gives me anxiety (plus I had a negative experience back in the day)
Exchanged strong eye contact with a girl but I pussed out, I was walking somewhat distracted.
Not many girls around though.
Ate 1800kcal
Productivity: 7.5/10
Mood: 8/10

March 31st

Woke up 6:30am. Went to Muay Thai. Had opportunities to approach but pussied out.
Had another opportunity to approach but pussied out.

Went out specifically to talk togirls but failed miserably.
Had maybe like 4 instances of eye contact over my shoulder. I'm not sure if they were real though

BE ADAPTABLE. THRIVE UNDER STRESS.

Ate 1800kcal
Productivity: 7.0/10

April 1st

Had the chance to apprpach a girl but pussied out. I was drinking a (diet) coke. Saw this really beautiful girl walking by. She was entering into a shop. Followed her, she worked there. I still got in there and asked something, but didnt have the balls ask for her number.
Reading: 5h
Ate 1700kcal
Productivity: 7.0/10
Mood: 8.0/10

April 2nd

Saw a group of girls while I was riding my bike but chickened out.
Did shallow work for about 3h
Drawing: 2h
Productivity: 6.0/10
Ate 1700kcal

April 3rd

Did shallow work for about 3h
Wasted a lot of time.
Chances are, Gabriel, the systems that make this world are too complex for you to understand them alone.
There's not much beyond working and seeking expert advice. There aren't hacks.
Ate 1500kcal
Productivity 5.5/10
Mood: 7.0/10

April 4th
Did shallow work(college) for about 5h. I've blocked social media but I still find ways to waste time, like playing guitar and chess.


April 5th

Ate 1700kcal
Productivity: 6.0/10

April 6th

Woke up 6:30 went to Muay Thai.
Drawing: 5h
Ate 1800kcal
Productivity: 6.5/10

I'm not being productive at all. I'm having a lot of mental gymnastics towards some tasks.
But at the same time I feel guilty for not doing them so I dont go outvand approach. it sucks.
Mood is okay, enough to br productive, but it could be better. I'm still trying to find a way to be wired 24/7. In the meantime I need to be disciplined and keep trying to feel better everyday.

April 7th

Went to Muay Thai
Hours doing something productive for college: 3
Hours drawing: 0
Productivity: 5/10
Mood: 7/10
Ate 1600kcal

April 8th

Woke up 6:30 went to Muay Thai.

April 9th

Woke up 6:30 went to Muay Thai

I've been very unproductive the last few days. Ambiguity really halts my decision making. I feel like I can't stop thinking and start doing.
Had some chances to approach, but my mind is elsewhere. Asked one girl for directions
Did 2h of work for college.
Ate 1800kcal.

April 10th

Woke up 9:30. Wasted time playing guitar and watching show with family.
Work for college: 3h
Ate 1600kcal

April 11th

Work for college: 5h
Rode bike and procrastinated playing guitar.
Ate 1700kcal


April 12th

Ate 1500kcal

Productivity 6.5/10
Mood: 6.0/10

April 13th

Productivity 7.0/10
Mood: 6.0/10

April 14th

Ate 1600kcal
Productivity: 6.5/10
Mood: 5.5/10

April 15th

Ate 1500kcal
Productivity: 7.0/10


-I had a mediocre performance this month. Definitely read too much information. I also
Lost less weight than previous months. Didn't make any advances in my portfolio. I actually managed to plough through approach anxiety and talk to 3 girls. But I didnt go out to talk to girls after that, pretty much stayed at home. I say that I focused on other things, etc, but i could still go out some days of the week and approach. I could ride my bike, go downtown, talk to some girls and burn some calories. But I don't do it. I say I can't get laid in my house, etc. But I could invite myself over the girls' house.

-Definitely made the decision that I personally value making moderate money as an artist (I will not settle for less) over making big money with something else. I've been obsessed with that goal for a long time and I will see it through no matter what. So I made a slight change in my goal setting algorithm, to make as much money while being the best artist possible.

-My mental debate right now is how selfish I want to be. Right now I'm studying to be a school teacher. I tell myself that it is a way to help people and give back to the world. But perhaps it's just a cope and I'm justifying being a fucking pussy. It's my way to cleaning my hands I guess, instead of cheap new age hollywood spirituality.

-This month I felt a sort of a success flatline. I felt satisfied, perhaps happy with my recent body composition improvement. And that's sort of the dilemma. When do you stop? You can always do more. So you feel like you have to, just because you can. You can't enjoy too much your victories, there's always some asian guy trying to outwork you. We feel other people are gonna try to outperform us. So we work more. And guess what, other people do the same thing. A self fulfilling prophecy. A stalemate. Now you have the hiper competitive society of today. I don't think there's much of a solution to this. The best way to maximize happiness seems to be a compromise between the two (number of achievements and satisfaction per achievement)
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Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Spazdig
Posts: 151 | Thanks: 35
Joined: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:01 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 27

Sun May 16, 2021 10:14 pm

Didn't realise you were gabo from GLL. Thanks for checking my log. Hop on and let us know how you're doing yourself bro
Last edited by Spazdig on Mon May 17, 2021 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Sun May 16, 2021 11:21 pm

Spazdig wrote:
Sun May 16, 2021 10:14 pm
Didn't realise you were gabo from GLL. Thanks for checking my log. Hop on and let us know how you're doing yourself brate
Hey man, thank you for checking my log, and your cold approach lay has been really inspiring. Haven't updated my log because I haven't accomplished my stated goals yet.

Things I'm struggling with:
-slowly burning fat, but I'm not yet 8% body fat.
-indecision and low confidence
-toxic perfectionism with my art and with everything in my life.
-not being selfish enough, not having courage to stand up for my convictions.
-hating the fact that my dad is a couch potato and blaming him for my shortcomings but this is just an excuse.
-blaming the government for corruption and shitty management of the pandemic and the economy. I'm seriously concerned that my country is becoming a communist shithole, but this is an excuse too.
-lack of focus and work ethic
-I can only approach 2 or e girls if I specifically set my mind to do so, I can't approach as part of my daily life. This isn't a priority at this moment, but I'm still frustrated about it.

Not gonna lie, I'm not having the most positive outlook on life at the moment but I'm trying to plough through it even if I feel like shit.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Wed May 19, 2021 3:02 am

I'm posting this for the sake of accountability, but I haven't accomplished what I said I would accomplish. Stopped loging when I got overwhelmed by exams, also stopped logging calories.
Here are my excuses of why I have been stuck:

Drawing: I just feel that my level isn't there yet, but there's low hanging fruit of skill/knowledge that I feel I must attack first, it's better to do the portfolio once and do it right rather than doing it 2 or 3 times and not being satisfied with the results. A lot of this is instinct, although I'm very conscious that I'm a perfectionist and I must lower my standards
Getting ripped: stopped logging calories, still losing weight though. I'm very weak, I can barely do 5 pushups. I went to an hematologist last week, perhaps it's something blood related but I doubt it. The last two remaining possibilities that I can think of are allergies and heavy metal poisoning. Whenever I cut I get very weak, this has happened to me before. So I'm afraid of going too hard with the cut and losing muscle mass. Perhaps I could train even if I can't exert strength. I need to buy some sandbags and train home. I'm removing all of my bullshit excuses. All.

Getting laid: My tinder profile is shit, even the fatties ignore me. I don't have money for photoshoots or a dlsr. Which is another excuse, I must get the fucking money. I'm above average in person but not by a long shot. It's still enough to get laid. I still have approach anxiety. I can approach some times, most of the times I can't. Which is another excuse, I must man up and talk to girls. I don't have a social circle with hot girls. I must create one. I need to hit the bars again now that my parents got the vaccine.

So I'm doing progress but at the same time I step on my dick in a number of ways. I will keep flexing my mind towards my goals and will keep hammering in the dogmas necessary to improve myself.
I need to go back to Muay Thai. I need to get money. I need to stop being so fucking stingy.

Today I'm feeling happy in a strange way, like I'm being forced to be happy otherwise I don't know how I am gonna face all the challenges that lie ahead. I'm so overwhelmed figuring out a way of paying rent doing art that I can't think about existential shit.

April 16th

Woke up 7:30
Ate 1700kcal
Productivity: 7.0/10

April 17th

Got inspired by thedrawingagency.com to start my own drawing agency.

Another company that I'd like to imitate: conceptarthouse.con

These people have decades of experience though, so it's better to take it easy.

April 18th

Drawing: 7h
Productivity: 7.0/10
Mood: 8/10
Hanging out with friends is good for my mental health.
Ate 1600kcal

April 19th
STOP FUCKING THINKING SO MUCH

April 20th
Woke up late, 9:30
Ate 1500kcal

April 21st

Woke up 6am
Ate 1600kcal

April 22nd

Ate 1500kcal
I havent been doing Muay Thai due to covid restrictions. But I started playing tenis more often. I want to take it more seriously. Actually one secondary goal for me is to compete semiprofessionally.

April 23rd

Ate 1300kcal

April 24th

Ate 1600kcal

April 28th

I'm too busy with college. But I want to say that I'm a fucking pussy. Today I was riding to the city centre and saw so many cute girls that I wanted to talk. But somehow... it's not even anxiety. It's just mediocrity. Just excuses in my head. Like I wasnt focused on that today. Like I forgot how to talk to people... I'm so fucking frustrated.

I havent realized until now how lazy I've been my whole life. Words dont count shit. Time to start working my ass off until I die. I'm against the ropes. But I'm not done yet.

April 30th

MORE STRESS IS THE ANSWER

May 4th

I've been pretty busy with schoolwork (engraving and printmaking, which is very laborious and time consuming)
Drawing: 4h

May 5th

Woke up 7:30 am
Damn, I want to get back to approaching so badly... but my mind won't let me do it until I take care of college...
JUST. KEEP. GOING.
Damn. Sometimes I want to quit college so badly. I need to be more selfish.

Drawing: 1h

Wasted time playing guitar
Cleant my room
Downloaded drawing books and references
Watched an artstation tutorial with kim jung gi.
Played tenis.

Productivity: 6.0/10

May 6th

Woke up at 11. Fuck this. This must never happen again

Fairly productive day.
Drawing: 3h
Realized that buying a lot of things is probably consumist and femenine. But buying land seems like a more masculine and traditional thing. I feel that owning a piece of terrain is more of a natural/primal desire

May 7th

Fairly productive day. Drawing: 6h
Productivity: 7.0/10

May 8th

Drawing: 8h
Productivity: 7.5/10

May 9th

Drawing: 7h

May 10th

Went to the doctor. Walked around downtown, not many people at 3pm. Still let some girls slip by. It' really hard to get into the rhythm of approaching after not approaching for 1 month
Drawing: 5h
Productivity: 7.0/10

May 11th

Woke up 7:30
Drawing: 5h
Still got distracted a lot playing guitar and watching random shit on the internet. Fuck this.
My mom came up with a theory of why I feel so tired and weak. She says that when I sleep I cover my head so I'm deprived of oxygen. I will pay attention to that.

May 12th

Woke up at 7:00
Arrived 10 min late to the doctorm Fuck this.
I realized why self improvement sometimes make you feel temporarily worse. It basically removes all your copes. So even if your life is objectively better, you may experience more pain subjectively. Getting better forces you to change the way you see yourself and existence that you wouldn't otherwise think in your default mode. You face your own mortality. You face the reality that most people won't fulfill their potential and will refuse to change for the better, will keep on blaming some external factor. You'll realize that if other people are like this, you are like this too. Unless you have a mentor and are constantly monitoring yourself you will inevitably fall back to mediocrity patterns.

But once you've seen that you can. change your situation for the better you can't go back. But at the same time there must be some point in the journey were you rest and enjoy the fruits of your labor. There must be a comfort zone in the distant future.

Drawing: 5h.

May 13th

Woke up at 8:30.

Drawing: 1h
Studying: 2h
Productivity: 6.0/10

I feel I need constantly to clarify what I want

I do want to be the best artist of this age. The best artist that has ever lived.

But I don't know what that means. How do you define that? You can put a value to money. But art is pretty subjective. But at the same time it isnt. It's obvious when something is ugly or unoriginal, right?
I'm in conflict.
Contemporary fine art is talentless and pretentious.
Contemporary realism/classical revivalism is uncreative, rigid and also pretentious.
Concept art/illustration is low brow and childish

I always blame the world but perhaps it's me that always see the negative in everything.

I want to work as an artist in the videogame industry for important clients.

I want to be payed well, but most importantly, I want to be recognized by other professionals

I want to be famous, but most importantly, I want to have a loyal audience.

I care about validation. I'm not a zen monk.

I don't want to have a YouTube channel. I don't want to have a podcast. I don't care about teaching. I have lost faith not only in the education system but in a education itself. I already know the pareto principle is always at play. The vast majority of people are too lazy and or dumb to learn, it's beyond your control. Most people will utilize the tools you give them to procrastinate. I will gladly coach a few very enthusiastic aspiring artists. I want to be far away from fuckarounders. Been there, done that, on both sides. It's best for both parties not to deceive each other.

I'm not sure if I want to create a business around art.
Perhaps money and art are best kept separate. They are two separate skillsets. I feel that I must accomplish my dream of becoming a professional artist first. It's like fucking girls, it's an stage that I must go through before I can think about anything else. Perhaps I must focus on money and achieve a comfortable living and then have more freedom to level up in art indefinitely. Perhaps the pressure of not having money will force me to level up in art faster.

Perhaps I'm overthinking this all and should just move forward in ANY direction.

May 17th
Listened to this artist Cesar Santos. It's good to see someone with high energy, masculine be an artist. Usually artists are slobs, geeky, etc.

I realized I can (and must) be tough and at the same time positive.

Perhaps my main problems isnt lack of work ethic but a lot negativity that makes me use way more will power than necessary.

It's not even that I'm depressed, I don't even realize how negative my default is. I've seen that recording a vlog. My friends are pretty negative. Gotta work extra hard

May 18th

I NEED TO BE AROUND HIGH PERFORMANCE PEOPLE. I NEED TO REACH OUT TO SUCCESFUL PEOPLE
PULL THE TRIGGER.
User avatar
TylerDurden1995
Posts: 52 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2021 7:25 pm
Name: S
Goal: Bulk Up
Age: 26
Motto: 'Fuck around and find out'
Location: U.K

Thu May 20, 2021 5:41 pm

Sisyphus wrote:
Wed May 19, 2021 3:02 am
I'm posting this for the sake of accountability, but I haven't accomplished what I said I would accomplish. Stopped loging when I got overwhelmed by exams, also stopped logging calories.
Here are my excuses of why I have been stuck:

Drawing: I just feel that my level isn't there yet, but there's low hanging fruit of skill/knowledge that I feel I must attack first, it's better to do the portfolio once and do it right rather than doing it 2 or 3 times and not being satisfied with the results. A lot of this is instinct, although I'm very conscious that I'm a perfectionist and I must lower my standards
Getting ripped: stopped logging calories, still losing weight though. I'm very weak, I can barely do 5 pushups. I went to an hematologist last week, perhaps it's something blood related but I doubt it. The last two remaining possibilities that I can think of are allergies and heavy metal poisoning. Whenever I cut I get very weak, this has happened to me before. So I'm afraid of going too hard with the cut and losing muscle mass. Perhaps I could train even if I can't exert strength. I need to buy some sandbags and train home. I'm removing all of my bullshit excuses. All.

Getting laid: My tinder profile is shit, even the fatties ignore me. I don't have money for photoshoots or a dlsr. Which is another excuse, I must get the fucking money. I'm above average in person but not by a long shot. It's still enough to get laid. I still have approach anxiety. I can approach some times, most of the times I can't. Which is another excuse, I must man up and talk to girls. I don't have a social circle with hot girls. I must create one. I need to hit the bars again now that my parents got the vaccine.

So I'm doing progress but at the same time I step on my dick in a number of ways. I will keep flexing my mind towards my goals and will keep hammering in the dogmas necessary to improve myself.
I need to go back to Muay Thai. I need to get money. I need to stop being so fucking stingy.

Today I'm feeling happy in a strange way, like I'm being forced to be happy otherwise I don't know how I am gonna face all the challenges that lie ahead. I'm so overwhelmed figuring out a way of paying rent doing art that I can't think about existential shit.

April 16th

Woke up 7:30
Ate 1700kcal
Productivity: 7.0/10

April 17th

Got inspired by thedrawingagency.com to start my own drawing agency.

Another company that I'd like to imitate: conceptarthouse.con

These people have decades of experience though, so it's better to take it easy.

April 18th

Drawing: 7h
Productivity: 7.0/10
Mood: 8/10
Hanging out with friends is good for my mental health.
Ate 1600kcal

April 19th
STOP FUCKING THINKING SO MUCH

April 20th
Woke up late, 9:30
Ate 1500kcal

April 21st

Woke up 6am
Ate 1600kcal

April 22nd

Ate 1500kcal
I havent been doing Muay Thai due to covid restrictions. But I started playing tenis more often. I want to take it more seriously. Actually one secondary goal for me is to compete semiprofessionally.

April 23rd

Ate 1300kcal

April 24th

Ate 1600kcal

April 28th

I'm too busy with college. But I want to say that I'm a fucking pussy. Today I was riding to the city centre and saw so many cute girls that I wanted to talk. But somehow... it's not even anxiety. It's just mediocrity. Just excuses in my head. Like I wasnt focused on that today. Like I forgot how to talk to people... I'm so fucking frustrated.

I havent realized until now how lazy I've been my whole life. Words dont count shit. Time to start working my ass off until I die. I'm against the ropes. But I'm not done yet.

April 30th

MORE STRESS IS THE ANSWER

May 4th

I've been pretty busy with schoolwork (engraving and printmaking, which is very laborious and time consuming)
Drawing: 4h

May 5th

Woke up 7:30 am
Damn, I want to get back to approaching so badly... but my mind won't let me do it until I take care of college...
JUST. KEEP. GOING.
Damn. Sometimes I want to quit college so badly. I need to be more selfish.

Drawing: 1h

Wasted time playing guitar
Cleant my room
Downloaded drawing books and references
Watched an artstation tutorial with kim jung gi.
Played tenis.

Productivity: 6.0/10

May 6th

Woke up at 11. Fuck this. This must never happen again

Fairly productive day.
Drawing: 3h
Realized that buying a lot of things is probably consumist and femenine. But buying land seems like a more masculine and traditional thing. I feel that owning a piece of terrain is more of a natural/primal desire

May 7th

Fairly productive day. Drawing: 6h
Productivity: 7.0/10

May 8th

Drawing: 8h
Productivity: 7.5/10

May 9th

Drawing: 7h

May 10th

Went to the doctor. Walked around downtown, not many people at 3pm. Still let some girls slip by. It' really hard to get into the rhythm of approaching after not approaching for 1 month
Drawing: 5h
Productivity: 7.0/10

May 11th

Woke up 7:30
Drawing: 5h
Still got distracted a lot playing guitar and watching random shit on the internet. Fuck this.
My mom came up with a theory of why I feel so tired and weak. She says that when I sleep I cover my head so I'm deprived of oxygen. I will pay attention to that.

May 12th

Woke up at 7:00
Arrived 10 min late to the doctorm Fuck this.
I realized why self improvement sometimes make you feel temporarily worse. It basically removes all your copes. So even if your life is objectively better, you may experience more pain subjectively. Getting better forces you to change the way you see yourself and existence that you wouldn't otherwise think in your default mode. You face your own mortality. You face the reality that most people won't fulfill their potential and will refuse to change for the better, will keep on blaming some external factor. You'll realize that if other people are like this, you are like this too. Unless you have a mentor and are constantly monitoring yourself you will inevitably fall back to mediocrity patterns.

But once you've seen that you can. change your situation for the better you can't go back. But at the same time there must be some point in the journey were you rest and enjoy the fruits of your labor. There must be a comfort zone in the distant future.

Drawing: 5h.

May 13th

Woke up at 8:30.

Drawing: 1h
Studying: 2h
Productivity: 6.0/10

I feel I need constantly to clarify what I want

I do want to be the best artist of this age. The best artist that has ever lived.

But I don't know what that means. How do you define that? You can put a value to money. But art is pretty subjective. But at the same time it isnt. It's obvious when something is ugly or unoriginal, right?
I'm in conflict.
Contemporary fine art is talentless and pretentious.
Contemporary realism/classical revivalism is uncreative, rigid and also pretentious.
Concept art/illustration is low brow and childish

I always blame the world but perhaps it's me that always see the negative in everything.

I want to work as an artist in the videogame industry for important clients.

I want to be payed well, but most importantly, I want to be recognized by other professionals

I want to be famous, but most importantly, I want to have a loyal audience.

I care about validation. I'm not a zen monk.

I don't want to have a YouTube channel. I don't want to have a podcast. I don't care about teaching. I have lost faith not only in the education system but in a education itself. I already know the pareto principle is always at play. The vast majority of people are too lazy and or dumb to learn, it's beyond your control. Most people will utilize the tools you give them to procrastinate. I will gladly coach a few very enthusiastic aspiring artists. I want to be far away from fuckarounders. Been there, done that, on both sides. It's best for both parties not to deceive each other.

I'm not sure if I want to create a business around art.
Perhaps money and art are best kept separate. They are two separate skillsets. I feel that I must accomplish my dream of becoming a professional artist first. It's like fucking girls, it's an stage that I must go through before I can think about anything else. Perhaps I must focus on money and achieve a comfortable living and then have more freedom to level up in art indefinitely. Perhaps the pressure of not having money will force me to level up in art faster.

Perhaps I'm overthinking this all and should just move forward in ANY direction.

May 17th
Listened to this artist Cesar Santos. It's good to see someone with high energy, masculine be an artist. Usually artists are slobs, geeky, etc.

I realized I can (and must) be tough and at the same time positive.

Perhaps my main problems isnt lack of work ethic but a lot negativity that makes me use way more will power than necessary.

It's not even that I'm depressed, I don't even realize how negative my default is. I've seen that recording a vlog. My friends are pretty negative. Gotta work extra hard

May 18th

I NEED TO BE AROUND HIGH PERFORMANCE PEOPLE. I NEED TO REACH OUT TO SUCCESFUL PEOPLE
PULL THE TRIGGER.
Hey man I know it's tough, but keep going you'll get there. I've hit walls with my self-improvement journey too, but try push through and focus on why you're doing it.

'You can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought' is also a great book which Andy recommends and I have read from his recommendation if you haven't checked it out already - helped with my negativity and might help if you struggle with the same.

Keep on trying, brother.

S
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Fri Oct 22, 2021 8:46 pm

So I had my first cold approach blowjob.

Fitness: finally I’m down to 67kg 10%. Thought I was going to be leaner at that weight but I always underestimate my bodyfat and the time that’s gonna take me to get there. Not sure if I’m gonna keep cutting to 8%. I need to develop some muscle too. Health? I still feel weak and that I’m gonna have a heart attack after I do too much cardio or even after I approach. This might be psychosomatic, but I really lack strength, I can barely do one pullup. Did a blood test and the only thing off is low vitamin D. Need to get tested for lyme and heavy metal poisoning. Feeling weak is the reason why I cut so slowly, I don't want to lose any more strength

Girls: Lockdown restrictions were lifted, so there was no excuse for not approaching. I started going out alone to bars, talking to random people, then approaching, now I’m approaching in the middle of the day when I’m doing chores with relative ease. I can do 5 approaches in 1 hour, I still let opportunities slip by. But I’m in my best shape I think. Back in the day I was able to do 15 approaches in a big city, in 2,5h and I would end up exhausted. Now I believe I would be able to do 30 in a day, in a big city. But approaching in a small city has helped me be more focused when I go out and approach. What I struggle now with is consistency. And also the fact that this is not my number one goal at this moment. I live away from downtown so I feel I waste time when I go out of my house.

But I can approach and have gotten some very good reactions, which has been really nice tbh. It also feels a bit weird. Like I don’t know how women would find me attractive. But it seems I’ve finally crossed the line of “above average”. A few tattoos and more muscle and I’ll be elite. I’m also more confident or at least can fake it better and I believe it helps. One milf even said to me that it was a pleasure to meet me in a very flattering way but she was engaged.
So the girl. It was exactly as everyone that follows the gll philosophy says. I didn’t thought she was interested. She was sitting on park bench with a girl friend. First I thought she was weirded out by the approach. I even thought she gave me fake a number (later I learnt that she was from a small town, that’s why the number was weird). But we had a date the following day. Cute girl, but in a hot way. I mean, she was a bit chubby and had not so good teeth but she had a nice face and good tits and a really nice ass. Also on the lower class spectrum, which I found interesting. And she was all over the place. Like she was throwing compliments all the time, that I was the best thing that happened to her in a while, that I had nice eyes, that I was so confident. Again, I was weirded out by it, it seems she’s talking about some other guy, I don’t feel that confident. But this girl had a really low self esteem, so it makes sense.

I was hella nervous before and during the date but I still tried to keep pulling the trigger. I wasn’t that fast though, it took me a while, perhaps too many laps around the park to feel comfortable kissing her. But man, she was all over the place, touching me, saying me that she loves it when I kiss her neck, putting my hands on her chest. FINALLY. A SEXUALLY AVAILABLE GIRL. So I went for same day lay of course. Only I live with my parents. But we still found a way to make it work. We went to a huge park, at night, ideal place to fuck and we did everything except me putting my penis inside her. A mix of the place being cold and uncomfortable and my own inexperience and I lost my hard when I put the condom. Self sabotage? Yup

It was still amazing and I was exhausted afterwards. I really don’t have stamina lol. Then I see this same girl on Friday. We went to a club, I arrived early (I was already in a good mood after approaching some girls right before) and then she came with her brother and her brother’s girlfriend. If I felt well treated the other day, this day I felt like a God. We danced, kissed and touched, I did all the shit I wanted to do when I was back in highschool. There were a lot of hot girls around and some were looking at me. I felt a small sample of being CHAD. Then we went out to her car. We chated a bit. I rested on her tits and opened up a bit, perhaps a bit too much. Then we touched, I fingered her and she jerked me off, and I came, which was GOOD. I forgot to buy condoms so we didn’t fuck. Self sabotage? You bet it was! I still felt victorious after this. Going back home I bought some pastries to reward myself.

One week later and she went silent. I feel kinda sad ‘cause I developed some feelings for her (not in a needy way). But she was so over the place that I was afraid of hurting her feelings, so perhaps it’s for the better. Asked for creep pics on both sexual encounters and she said no so I respected that.

I kept approaching when I saw the opportunity, got an Instagram and the girl seems eager to go out but says she is busy. Hope it turns into something.

This is all well and good, but I’m way behind schedule on everything I promised myself to do. I started the program on 2018 and got to day 42. I should have gotten my first lay, not my first cold approaching blowjob YEARS ago. I lost a lot of valuable time due to being a pussy and frankly, having emotional issues. But I think this is the same for a lot of guys from my generation. They are stuck in a negative mindset and now that I’m a little bit better can see it. But boy, has my progress been slow. Perhaps in 2029 I will have my first threesome and when I’m 80 I’ll reach a 100 girls laycount. AI is gonna take over before I fuck 50 girls if I keep improving at this pace.

Money/work: I improved a lot on art, which is something I cared about, but I’m feeling like giving up on this. I’ll sum up my current position:

-Progress in art is completely weird and non linear. I can’t even define what the “level” I want to have is, but I know it when I see it. But it’s still hard to set a clear path of going straight A to B. It just doesn't make fucking sense. it's the opposite of computer science.

-I always feel like shit compared to people that I admire so I am unable to do finished work and feel satisfied.

-Perhaps that’s why both art and business people agree on the same thing: not mixing art with business. Art is so tied with my feelings that it makes me an awful businessman. I hate, HATE finishing art that sucks (to me), even if people like it. So I never pull the trigger. And I grew up with that mindset, the professional middle class mindset, “grind, perfect yourself so you become the best employee and find work on a good company”. But as I’ve been learning lately, technical proficiency doesn’t cause good income, business skills are much more important and there isn’t much of a correlation between technical skills and business skills.

-I’ve been analyzing/stalking some successful artists. Some of them are broke (particularly, the ones from my broke country). Wages for Illustration/concept art or any creative work are laughably low. I used to admire that or think that it would motivate me to push harder but this is probably more self sabotage. So, if some of the very best artists are broke/overworked, what’s left for the rest of mortals?

-I used to think that changing paths and doing something more profitable was an admission of defeat. But this is stupid, just my ego speaking. It has also to do with the stupid mindsets I choose to believe, that money is evil, business is evil, sales and marketing are sleazy and a scam. Fuck you, hippocritical communist.

-This year I’ve repeated affirmations over and over and I think they made a positive change in me and I can feel much better about money. I’m becoming more and more disillusioned about college and the educational system in general but I still fall prey to sunk cost fallacy and can’t pull the trigger to drop out college.

-So I’m STRONGLY considering doing sales and or digital marketing. Sales I’m thinking a remote cold calling job or something in a local company (car sales, insurance). I even walked into a car dealership and asked if they were hiring people and they said yes that they are always looking for more people to hire. Digital marketing it would be just like some guys are doing here, I could even ask them for advice. A good mental framework that I learnt this year: ASK HOW, NOT WHY. There is no much logic behind why things work, they just work.

-So I’m more and more inclined to the idea of working a sales job or freelancing digital marketing and meanwhile develop my artskills. Having a high “art level” doesn’t mean you earn a lot of money from it. There’s just no correlation, and I think it’s good, even if I work as an artist, to think business and art as two completely separate entities and paths. There’s no thing such as not making a choice. But I’m still a pussy and need to overcome mental obstacles and pull the trigger.

Productivity: Gave up guitar and it was a good thing. Sacrifices in life are necessary. Not only it takes time, emotionally I was invested in it but I need to focus on something that’s gonna give me tangible results in the future. Hobbies are not for this stage of my life. Now I need to pull the trigger on tennis. For now I’m doing tennis instead of gym, but I need to go back to the gym to gain muscle. Tennis is nostalgia.
Installed multiple app blocks in my browser, they are extremely helpful.

Mental health: I’m banishing overthinking and procrastination from my life. I cut ties with philosophy, specially anything that smells to postmodernist philosophy. No more negativity. I choose to focus on good thoughts and emotions. No more unnecessary pain. Pain is only good If it’s necessary to get something good in return. Don't think. You are not gonna increase your IQ by thinking more.

The conclusion of all my years in self improvement is: it’s really true that everything is in your head, it’s no pseudoscience. If you want and think you can, you can do pretty much anything. Destroy negative thoughts. Ruthlessly cut ties with negative people and befriend positive people that want to improve.
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Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Sun Oct 31, 2021 10:25 pm

October 20th

Went out to do some chores, talked to 2 girls. I should have talked to more.
Damn, this hot woman sat nearby while I'm drinking coffee. I need to do something. Yup, talked to her and rejected me. Talked to 5 girls this day.

October 27th

Approached 3 girls, 0 numbers in like 45 minutes. Let some chances slip by, due to awkward situations and such, although I let pass an easy one where I asked for directions. There were hot girls around but I was with my bike and I felt it was too much to approach them riding a bike.

October 28th

Night: went out with girl and had sex in the park but this time it was her that didnt want penetration. There were too mant people nearby this time. There were more people nearby so the situation was more uncomfortable.
Funny thing: her friend says I'm hot. She asked me if I wanted to have a threesome with her, then she said she wouldnt let me.

October 29th

night: went out, approached 1 girl who ignored me. asked for cigarettes to a group of people but got rejected. My approach anxiety at night is higher than day tbh. didnt go to a bar, just walked down the street. It takes me about 45 min walking to get to downtown. I also procrastinate aka "I have shit to do" so I go out when there's already no people on the streets, no public transport. I still let some opportunities slip by

random reflection: pornography is like handouts, reward without effort

October 30th

Night: went out
Oh boy. Went to a night club. My approach anxiety was pretty high. Talking to a hot girl in the middle of day light is one thing but at night when they are in short tight skirts with friends is another. And going out alone is tough too.
Anyway first I started doing drills to make myself comfortable, like dancing alone in the middle of the club and squeezing girls.
The this guy comes to me and says something like "Dude stop being so high" And I'm like "Hey do I know you" "No, do you want to smoke weed" "For real? sure" So I follow this guy through the club. And he was saying random things to random people and asking for filters and papers to make a joint (dont know how to say this in english). Then he approached some girls. And I'm like "wow, another freak of nature like me that does this stuff?" He was not a pick up nerd though. More of an edgy/jackass guy (leather jacket, talks loudly, etc) Good looking, not extremely good looking, but cool/street smart. Then I talked to him a bit more he tells me he's from another province, that he sings for a rock band, he does boxing, then he says he is a thief (small scale I guess). I try my best not to look afraid. Said I respect that. Apparently I gave him the impression of being a bit crazy too.

And I think, that's the type of players you know in real life, sketchy people. The other guy I met that did approaches was sketchy too, crashed his bike and almost died, from a province, coloured skin and low class. And I think, perhaps thats how people perceive me when I approach. Talking to random girls requires the same amount of guts than being a pickpocket or drug dealer. No wonder so many pickup artists are scam artists.

Btw this guy was a bit like OG Scotty, total creep, very physical direct, no game BS. So, motivated by seeing this guy I start approaching girls.

Somehow cool stuff comes out of my mouth (sometimes). Stuff I havent even practiced, I literally don't know how I find the words, it's like a spirit takes control of me and gives me a tongue to speak.

I approached about 7-8 girls and got one instagram, but I dont remember all the interactions. One I asked for a cigarrette she said she didnt have but let me smoke of her cigarrette. Then talked a bit and she gave me her instagram. Hot body, not so good looking face, but on some of her photos she looks very hot.

Another, extremely hot skinny upperclass looking, intimidating girl, she was dressed as the joker (just the makeup). I'm proud of this one cause I was extremely forward and did the closest thing to screening. Said hey, nice costume, high five, handshake, then try to kiss her in the cheek but she pulled her face away and said no thanks.

Another one was outside. Made eye contact with a cutr girl. Talked to her and noticed she was drunk. Immediatly comes her dyke friend and cockblocks me. I didn't want conflict so I left but now I believe this is one of the gray areas where "game" might be needed, handling objections, try to work things out etc.

I also remember a girl I didnt approach. I was against a wall and I feel this hot blonde touching me. I was already deflated by the rejections so I figured an excuse not to take the signal and approach her. Then I see the same girl being approached by other guy and she's receptive and I want to shoot myself in the balls. One way of self sabotage is to talk to uninterested girls and pussy out on the ones that hold more potential.

I also could have approached a ton more girls cause the place was swimming in pussy. But I'm still scared of doing 'too many approaches' who knows why. I could have talked to more average girls and get better results but since I'm already seeing a cute girl I dont feel any desire of fucking a girl below her level.

Some mental notes: being more physical makes more sense in the club cause girls can't hear what you say.
You can say compliments in a non pussy way.
'old friend' mindset, you already knew this girls in your past life.
when you make eye contact, smirk.
embrace your inner creep.

following day I talked to this guy on instagram, he invited me to a concert from the band he sings for, next week. Making my first steps in social circle game, I need to be more consistent with this. Btw this guy ended up getting laid with a random girl from the club that night. Cold approach works, no more excuses.

inshight: I always wondered why Chris even bothered with cold approach since he was already being succesful with social circle, fucked hot girls, met cool people etc. Then I realized that perhaps it's like when guys born rich try to make money even if they dont need to. There's a desire to prove themselves, that if they don't get stuff on a silver platter they still can make shit happen. And there's a satisfaction of making stuff with your own hands when you cold approach.

I'm not a loser, I'm just starting from scratch, any guy would have trouble getting laid in my situation. I lost the newbie zeal for cold approach and now it sucks, but I do it because I have no other option. I'm broke so I can't even buy a camera to take good pictures for online dating. I also don't have friends cause I distanced myself from my highschool crowd and I moved to a different city. I also decided to be an artist so I can't meet new people when I'm in my room drawing. And that's kind of the problem.

My lifestyle isn't congruent with the persona of a player. Perhaps I should have chosen to be a musician, there's a lot more of social scene in music. Visual artists are even more introverted than musicians. Even though there are lots of girls in art university there are is no social scene or structure that helps people interact with each other and I never found a way to make shit happen. I also live in a shithole country where if you are a girl you have way more chances of getting killed or raped. So that increases the creep factor.

So my main issues are:

-fighting trace amounts of approach anxiety still makes it exhausting, even when I'm able to approach
-lack of discipline/being disorganized, way too many goals, lack of consistency, not approaching every day
-shit logistics
-being too skeptical. sometimes you just need to have irrational faith when facing frustration
-introvert lifestyle

getting a job should solve these issues
Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
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Crisis_Overcomer
Posts: 1017 | Thanks: 720
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2020 7:25 pm
Goal: Earn $5,000/month
Age: 33
Motto: Motion beats meditation

Mon Nov 01, 2021 5:58 am

Bueno caca, hermano.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Sun Nov 07, 2021 5:26 pm

So I had my first cold approach lay I was already dating her but yesterday I finally closed the deal

November 3rd

Woke up 6:30

Morning: drawing: 5h
Important reason to make money: laser eye surgery
Afternoon: psychologist+chores. Tried to approach at the grocery store but there werent many girls around. I could've talked to MILFs but I feel it's a waste of energy, the chances are already low with any girl, with older women they are even lower. Plus I dont have a great time, it's weird, they are typically less receptive etc.

Night: drawing, talking to people that take art seriously about getting an art job

November 4th

Woke up 9:30=failure
Dont remember a lot. Just drawing all day

November 5th

Drawing all day but went out, tried to approach but failed. I was a little bit upset cause something that happened earlier that lowered my self esteem but as it turned out it was a misunderstanding and it was all in my head.

Fuck, yesterday I missed the chance of approaching 2 hot girls. Remember if the girl has a tattoo you can talk her about that. Fuck man. My fuckbuddy told me basically that I'm God, her friend says I'm hot, I have been told multiple times, even before I discovered GLL that I was hot. Why do I need more reassurance? Stop being a pussy.

Comparing cold approach to social circle is like starting a business from scratch with no cash vs buying a business that has already high margins with a team of super talented people that help you run the business. No leverage vs leverage.
Social capital is as important as capital capital.

Of course social circle has a lot of challenges and involves a ton of stress anxiety and social skills which is why I'm not complaining and I keep cold approaching so I further refine my guts and social skills. I also do it for symbolic/moral reasons. Deep down I know when I dont approach because I'm tired and dont care vs I'm a pussy and yesterday it was the later.
But after 1000 cold approaches I wont care anymore. My growth will be focused on creating social circles in different cities (where I live now, Buenos Aires and some city in Australia, where I want to travel) and the overall fun I have. Success in this area means you dont even have to work anymore to get girls and you have positive pussyflow

November 6th

Woke up 10am

Watched 3d and digital painting tutorials.
Should have gone earlier to downtown to print cvs but procrastinated. MONDAY WITHOUT FAULT
But went anyway to walkaround and check the directions of marketing agencies were I'd like to work
.
Rode bike downtown. It's good that I'm making the habit of using my bike to go to places, I burn a ton of calories
I want to get to the point were I do so much activity nsturally that I can eat whatever I want and stay lean.
Talked to one hot woman. She smiled and say thanks and kept walking. The chances with any individual girl are so low that good reactions are good
I know the rule that the only thing that matters is getting laid but I want to have all sorts of experiences with hot women not just sex and talking to random women is part of that spectrum even if I dont ever see them again. I also think that only thinking about sex is short sighted because ai don't want to stay in the cold approach phase forever. Approaching is also about building confidence, re wiring your brain etc so you can handle social stress more effectively

Fucked up. Skiped 3 good chances to talk to girls.
1 I was with my mom but she left for a sec and I could have approached this girl without she seeing me. I dont know why this bothers me. Another girl I doubted whether she was elligible for approach but I should have taken a closer look. Another girl there were people behind me and suddely someone threw an object from the side (yea) and I got distracted and I missed my chance.

At night I went to my girl's house. Damn she lives in a very crappy place with ants everywhere, humidity on the walls... the things I do to get laid.

I couldnt get it up the first time (perhaps I was tired stressed or nervous or I didnt find her that attractive or all the above, but I also believe there is no fuckin logic why sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt), so we chilled, ate something cuddled and watched tv. She said I could be a male model. Seems that all these years of mewing paid off. I thought I lost my chance , she said she was tired. But I kept trying and I got hard and we fucked. First a little bit without condom so I could gain confidence then with condom. First she on top cause it's easier then doggystyle. I fucked her hard then gentle then hard. I'm still inexperienced but she said her legs were trembling after so that's good.

Lesson: never, ever give up KEEP TRYING

bonus: bought a pair of adidas grand court for a very good price. I'm very happy with them
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Last edited by Sisyphus on Sun Nov 07, 2021 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
User avatar
Sisyphus
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 165
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:32 pm
Name: Gabo
Goal: Be a millionaire artist
Age: 27
Motto: Follow your gut

Sun Nov 07, 2021 5:33 pm

Crisis_Overcomer wrote:
Mon Nov 01, 2021 5:58 am
Bueno caca, hermano.
For some reason I never read this reply.
I legit laughed at your post, much appreciated.
Number 1 goal: Earn $1000/month (300000 ARS)
Number 2: Fuck 10 girls from cold approach (5/10)

Number 3: get to 72kg at 10% bodyfat.
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