Lex' progress log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Wed Mar 17, 2021 1:56 am

My last shrooms experience really helped me become more open and people noticed it.
However I fell into a depression for some period of 2 weeks.
Am slowly recovering.

I think I should properly reduce my task to basically two goals.
Dating and business.

Will be posting onwards only changes with regards to these two goals.

Currently working on a minor data analytics project for exploration of first time customers.
The book idea was too ambitious.
Even though it helped me tremendously developing my skills.

This week I didn't do much to get laid.
I was experiencing a stark decline in libido last month.
User avatar
lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Thu Mar 18, 2021 2:03 pm

Rapé session.
I got the fucking hint🤣🤣🤣🤣
User avatar
lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Thu Mar 18, 2021 2:06 pm

SIGMA_1234 wrote:
Mon Feb 22, 2021 11:05 am
lexluther_999 wrote:
Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:51 am
Doing rape session. Helped me in becoming more aware of myself and the energy I waist. Am planning to do a san pedro session. Am fucking scarred
A... "Rape session"?? Explain please??
Rapee session for. I got it.
User avatar
lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Sun Apr 04, 2021 9:02 pm

My Tinder experience worsened again.
I seem to barely get more than one match every 2 days. Even though the pics are the same as before.
What might be a cause is having paid for 2 tinder gold Abos and thus experiencing these issues as I used the same credit card causing three three algo to assume that it's the same profile in use.
I would be glad for some other possible suggestions.
The project is not very refreshing and I don't feel like moving in the right direction.
One of the biggest problems is that I tend to feel discouraged as often the goals either don't feel like worth attaining or because I ended up in apathy.
Anyway, something is telling me that I am moving in the wrong direction.
Recently watched a YouTube video of Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman as he is researching depression and motivation as well as the benefits of psychedelics on psychological changes.
Seems that the feeling of going in the right direction is of big importance when wanting to pursue a goal.
Unless you feel like that is the case, the goal is pointless and you won't stick to it.
So some Form of motivation in terms of visible feedback is necessary.
Anyway, I am rethinking my entire approach to all of this and why I tend often to feel like being stuck even though everything is in my hands.
User avatar
lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Thu May 13, 2021 1:23 am

Been stuck this month experimenting with psychedelics.
Resulted in changes notieceable by other people as positive even though I did not notice them.
Took a bunch of new photograps. Managed to increase my libido by working through the issue with a psychologist and accepting my low tendencies. I would do handwork before entering the vagina which I didnt use to do before as it seemed degrading.
Talking through my issues with the girls helped a lot. ALthough I would not necessarily advice to do it on ONS.
STudying for my gcp exam for data engineering.
User avatar
lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Sat May 22, 2021 5:49 pm

Decided to set my other goals aside (continuing to work but not being the main focus) til i complete my AA programm which I tried years ago and failed at day 14 where I had to do the high fives)
I plan to attack the programm more systematically this time and not rush into the phases.
The reason I decided to do the programm is to overcome a whole bunch of worthlessness issues I have from time to time. The best way to deal with these is by immediately exposing yourself to them and attacking them afterwards through bibliotherapy. I plan to the AA progrmm in combination with Cognitive behavior therapy.

What I hope to gain from the programm:
During the last few months I was working on my dating profiles as well as socializing by going to Parties, Salsa, Yoga, and a whole bunch of other activities. I realized that no amount of exposure to women can help in the long run unless you learn to use the available options as efficiently as possible. The goal is to learn how to properly communicate to women my desire for sex without feeling social inappropriateness for doing so. I consider myself a fairly socially free person to the point of being judged by some people as highly machiavelistic for acting differently under different situations. That is, I am able to act completely lunatic for the sake of fun on a regular basis but am more than able to handle social situations adequately and appropriately. Nonetheless, I feel still the guilt associated with acting more free than others and allowing myself to have the social freedom. Thus I decided to start the AA programm in order to increase my efficiency in approaching women and
overcoming the majority of latent social inhibitions.
User avatar
lexluther_999
Posts: 76 | Thanks: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:04 am
Name: Lexi
Goal: Teaching meditations
Age: 29
Motto: Behind every madness there is logic!
Location: Not fixed

Sat May 22, 2021 6:03 pm

I decided to sign the AA petition here on KYIL because I use this forum the most.
Because I already created a profile on this forum I will go immediately to day 2 of the AA prorgamm.

Day 2

- My goal and only goal for the next 3+ months is to beat approach anxiety.

- Because that is my ONLY #1 goal and I care a lot about it- I won't try to balance it with anything other than going to work/school/gym.

- Since I'm not trying to BALANCE it with several other goals, I will have more than enough time to do the drills.

- I agree to FORGET ABOUT GETTING LAID (for now).

- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.
- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.
- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.
- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.

- I will NOT turn the drill into an 'indirect' approach and get deflated if it doesn't go well.




- I will also start a POF (or OkCupid) account and use GLL's or Rooster's guide because I understand that giving myself some online options will decrease my neediness.

(I already use online dating and other options. The AA program should mainly increase my progress in other fields.)

- I will check in on ~daily basis, documenting what day I'm on, what I plan to do and if I did it.


- I understand that doing a Vlog will only help me be more accountable and get better results.

- I will stop ONLY WHEN I have beaten 90-100% of my approach anxiety. (~3-5.5months, @Level 7).

- I will see this through or get professional help for my anxiety and do it again.
(I planned to do a combination of the 2 at the same time. That way I plan to overcome my inhibitions.
My plan is to join the KYIL accountability group the moment I hit a insurmountably threshold in the program. )
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