MattsCrib doesn't want to hide himself

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
Post Reply
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:19 pm

- Break for 100 pushups
- Side raises (w/ two chairs, about 4-5kg. Same progression as "100 pushups")
- 30 days ab challenge day 7
- 200 Squats (Week 1, Day 3, Column 2)
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Sun Mar 07, 2021 9:14 pm

Didn't do shit yesterday and today. Only did the ab challenge half way through, but then got lazy.

Aargh. COVID restrictions are getting worse in my country, still no social life nor any means of getting one - I can only meet my friends twice a month or so.
Almost zero contact w/ the opposite sex in the last couple of months besides my friends gf-s. No flirting, nothing even remotely playful or romantic and absolutely not a single way to change that. Monk mode it is rn, at least I do work out and there's been some progress on that department. Had one -2.5% trade with BTC, that's the biggest thing that's happened, lol.

I just get so frustrated when my friends keep telling me about girls they chat up etc. and how frustrated they are when they haven't had anyone for a couple of months. (some of them don't know I'm a virgin who "touches" a girl every 4-5 years or so. Lol that sounds creepy as f' "ima nice guy who touches the opposite sex gently like a breeze of wind through the valleys of Mordor, like the knight they acšully deserve"). I wouldn't say they're more attractive than I am - not at all. The truth is, I don't have any social media (that I'm active on) nor do I have any pics of myself.

The only pics of me online are the ones here and some from years ago when I was in my local Idol show (got into the top 20 or so) I hate taking pics and I absolutely hate pics of myself.

Tl;dr: haven't done anything, got depressed (surprise, surpise)
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Mon Mar 08, 2021 5:21 pm

- 100 Pushups (Week 4, Day 1, Column 2)
- Side raises (w/ two chairs, about 4-5kg. Same progression as "100 pushups")
- 30 days ab challenge day 8
- 200 Squats (Week 2, Day 1, Column 2)

---

How do you guys do it? How do you manage? Like... I keep working on myself, but I see no results for years and years. Fitness has NOT helped me, social life has NOT helped me, since I don't even meet new people.

I CAN'T move. Even if I DID move, things usually don't change that much. I've lived in 4 different cities (one was 3 months on the canary islands) w/ no change. How the fuck do I change? I can't go on like this.

How? Just how? I STILL have no answers. HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH? I KNOW I don't need surgery, I KNOW I have a visible four pack at least, yet my "uglier" looking friends get attention etc. I HAVE been popular during highschool, I have had a decent social life etc. WHAT CAN I DO? I'm so freaking lost man.

I can't even get therapy due to covid

I've been here for almost a YEAR + about 9-10 years in the PUA -> Redpill community, I've had normal friends (GREAT friends), both male and female etc. It just DOESN'T change. Is it really genetically determined since I was born?

Like I AM doing the things I promised myself: I am working out, doing design stuff, I still have daily sleep issues etc.

WHAT. CAN. I. CHANGE? Again, I CAN'T move out, nor has it helped me before. WHAT???????? AArrgh.

What can I do to not be invisible? To feel human again?

Rant over. Off to work

---

I also barely eat because I have no appetite (nor have I ever had - that's why I'm so skinny) + I just don't know when to eat what. The diets don't help because I'm too lazy prepare food - I want to gain weight easily and healthily.

Edit:

About the "minimum sugar" diet: my abs are properly visible when flexed :D :D Feels nice, I even have a hint of a sixpack (used to have a light four pack when flexed.)
Last edited by MattsCrib on Sat Mar 13, 2021 12:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Tue Mar 09, 2021 4:12 pm

- 30 days ab challenge day 9
- Twenty Five pullups (Week 2 Day 1 Column 2)
- Front Raises
- 200 Squats (Week 2 Day 1 Column 2) - I was lazy yesterday, so I skipped it, which means that I'll do it today.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
Adam
Posts: 88 | Thanks: 65
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 33

Tue Mar 09, 2021 6:30 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Mon Mar 08, 2021 5:21 pm
How do you guys do it? How do you manage? Like... I keep working on myself, but I see no results for years and years. Fitness has NOT helped me, social life has NOT helped me, since I don't even meet new people.

I CAN'T move. Even if I DID move, things usually don't change that much. I've lived in 4 different cities (one was 3 months on the canary islands) w/ no change. How the fuck do I change? I can't go on like this.

How? Just how? I STILL have no answers. HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH? I KNOW I don't need surgery, I KNOW I have a visible four pack at least, yet my "uglier" looking friends get attention etc. I HAVE been popular during highschool, I have had a decent social life etc. WHAT CAN I DO? I'm so freaking lost man
I'm seeing a contradiction in your thought process. You say: "I don't even meet new people." Then ask: "HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH?" If you aren't meeting girls, it doesn't matter how attractive you are. You have no opportunities to put that attractiveness to use.

Have you tried online dating or cold approach or are you just relying on meeting girls through social life? A social life which has been stunted for all of us over the past year. Andy's said it a million times: "It's a numbers game." How many girls are you meeting? How many are you asking out? The girls you meet through socializing: are you asking them out or are you waiting for it to "just happen" as if you're a pretty girl? You're a man. You will probably never be so attractive that the girls you want will come to you and initiate things. You will probably never be so attractive that you never get turned down.

Let's get actual numbers. You say that nothing is working for you. How many women have you asked out in the last 2 months? Social, Cold Approach, Online. Of those, how many have agreed to a date and of those, how many have showed up? If your answer is "I haven't asked any women out over the past 2 months", your problem is lack of action.
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Tue Mar 09, 2021 7:09 pm

Adam wrote:
Tue Mar 09, 2021 6:30 pm
MattsCrib wrote:
Mon Mar 08, 2021 5:21 pm
How do you guys do it? How do you manage? Like... I keep working on myself, but I see no results for years and years. Fitness has NOT helped me, social life has NOT helped me, since I don't even meet new people.

I CAN'T move. Even if I DID move, things usually don't change that much. I've lived in 4 different cities (one was 3 months on the canary islands) w/ no change. How the fuck do I change? I can't go on like this.

How? Just how? I STILL have no answers. HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH? I KNOW I don't need surgery, I KNOW I have a visible four pack at least, yet my "uglier" looking friends get attention etc. I HAVE been popular during highschool, I have had a decent social life etc. WHAT CAN I DO? I'm so freaking lost man
I'm seeing a contradiction in your thought process. You say: "I don't even meet new people." Then ask: "HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH?" If you aren't meeting girls, it doesn't matter how attractive you are. You have no opportunities to put that attractiveness to use.

Have you tried online dating or cold approach or are you just relying on meeting girls through social life? A social life which has been stunted for all of us over the past year. Andy's said it a million times: "It's a numbers game." How many girls are you meeting? How many are you asking out? The girls you meet through socializing: are you asking them out or are you waiting for it to "just happen" as if you're a pretty girl? You're a man. You will probably never be so attractive that the girls you want will come to you and initiate things. You will probably never be so attractive that you never get turned down.

Let's get actual numbers. You say that nothing is working for you. How many women have you asked out in the last 2 months? Social, Cold Approach, Online. Of those, how many have agreed to a date and of those, how many have showed up? If your answer is "I haven't asked any women out over the past 2 months", your problem is lack of action.
Yeah dude, I completely agree. It's just venting - one of those "how cum nobody liek me i'm so nice" while I sit in front of my computer kind of thing.

Writing it down helps me become sane again in a sense and keep working on myself. No, I have not even talked to a woman over these past due months (a lot of it has to do w/ my location + covid).

I hope things change after I move to the Netherlands in 9 months or so, I don't have any idea how to meet girls right now. (Even with tinder - I can swipe until there are literally no people around me). In the meantime, I can work on myself, become more fit, focus on design work etc. I can't meet any women if there aren't any women.

Every couple of weeks I visit my friends in another town, but other than that - nothing.

---

I remember one time a few years ago, I lived at a "party" frat with 5 frends and one of the friends told me that he's NEVER seen me flirt or be in any way sexual with a girl at any party. He was right - I just don't feel the "urge" to do it because I can't seem to find any girls that I find particulary interesting, but not having "it" makes me insane lol.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Thu Mar 11, 2021 3:50 pm

- 30 days ab challenge day 10
- Twenty Five pullups (Week 2 Day 2 Column 2)
- Front Raises
- 200 Squats (Week 2 Day 2 Column 2) - I was lazy yesterday, so I skipped it, which means that I'll do it today.

Didn't do shit yesterday (besides looking at crypto charts and trading the whole day + practicing some drawing/design fundamentals), which means that I'll also do

- 100 Pushups (Week 4, Day 2, Column 2)
- Side raises (w/ two chairs, about 4-5kg. Same progression as "100 pushups")
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Fri Mar 12, 2021 7:32 pm

- 30 days ab challenge day 11
- Front Raises
- 200 Squats (Week 2 Day 2 Column 2) - squats are damn hard. Gotta repeat them until I make it.
- 100 Pushups (Week 4, Day 2, Column 2)
- Side raises (w/ two chairs, about 4-5kg. Same progression as "100 pushups")
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Sat Mar 13, 2021 12:47 am

Log:

I listened to Andy's podcast about visualizing/fantasizing about your goals. He's kinda right :D Like... I tend to get literally obsessed w/ every new skill i'm developing.
So far, I've been obsessed with (and achieved) and to give myself some confidence (yay):

- Drawing
I have wanted to become as good as this illustrator


He can draw pretty much everything from any angle without guidelines. How far am I? Well, I can pretty much draw everything from any angle if I use references, even If I just see it from one angle - I can turn forms in my imagination. I still lack some anatomical knowledge, but I know a lot of the human figure. Thanks to that, I've been a storyboard artist for some commercials and worked on animation projects like this:

- 3D character design - I've been learning sculpting and character design besides 2D character design/drawing. For example, 've sold my work to a medical company who for some reason wanted me to model a pelvis for them to use as a company logo (I have no idea why they wanted it in 3D)

- Music - I'm a pretty decent singer and I study jazz/pop music academically. I can also do pretty cool vocal-jazz arrangements. Hell, I was even in my local Idol show where I got to perform on live TV.

- Piano - I've been becoming better and better at it over the two years I've studied music (academically). I'm proud that I can play jazz standards and play when I'm singing - something that felt impossible two-three years ago. I can also improvise on the melodica which feels great.

- Coding/programming - I can do basic web design (javascript, html, css) and I've made some ear training apps for myself. I also programmed a "harmonizer" of sorts, inspired by this artist:

Fitness - due to my slight physical disability, I've always been in terrible shape and very bad in sports. It means that I can't run properly and am incredibly inflexible. For the first time in my life I can say that I'm relatively fit - I have visible muscle development, been hitting the gym (on and off) and have actual abs :)

Money - I started to actually make money with trading and crypto. It's not much, but so far I've been consistently making 2-3% profit, following a pretty strict system, watching charts and analyzing spreadsheets. It feels damn good to have some cash.

---

So yeah, I can do things that I set my mind to EXCEPT one thing (and you know what it is). Like I've said, i've been trying since I was like 15-16, with no results. I just don't KNOW how to visualize... liking girls in a sense. Where do I start? One of my main goals is to get rid of hatred - of course, it comes and goes etc. It never goes away completely, since when you're aware that girls and people work absolutely differently to what you want them to be, you start disliking them etc. (all that typical rant shit, i'm not gonna get into that.)

Should I visualize that "one day I will like a girl and she will like me back`? How? It seems like fantasizing about a unicorn - I don't feel like this person exists.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
jackBruh
Posts: 89 | Thanks: 36
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Build a career
Age: 23

Sat Mar 13, 2021 1:58 am

MattsCrib wrote:
Sat Mar 13, 2021 12:47 am
Should I visualize that "one day I will like a girl and she will like me back`? How? It seems like fantasizing about a unicorn - I don't feel like this person exists.
Your best bet is to probably start small, "people DO like me. I have friends who enjoy my company". Every time you think of something negative about it, just say that to yourself and internalise it. It'll eventually become a habit
Get edgy accessories and photos
Do AA program
Work on Ecom biz 15 hours a week
Update log everyday
Hit 1/2/3/4 plates at the gym (hopefully in around 6 months?)
Get a tattoo
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Sat Mar 13, 2021 9:21 pm

jackBruh wrote:
Sat Mar 13, 2021 1:58 am
MattsCrib wrote:
Sat Mar 13, 2021 12:47 am
Should I visualize that "one day I will like a girl and she will like me back`? How? It seems like fantasizing about a unicorn - I don't feel like this person exists.
Your best bet is to probably start small, "people DO like me. I have friends who enjoy my company". Every time you think of something negative about it, just say that to yourself and internalise it. It'll eventually become a habit
It's somewhat correct as in I've done this thing called Metta meditation, which is somewhat like positive affirmations combined w/ meditation and it does work.
I do have decent friends, although right now my social life is SHIT due to Covid and no school (staying inside for months without any social interactions - full hikikomori life)

However, what can I do to make it a reality like w/ all the other things I've achieved? I know the steps I had to take in order to become a better musician, artist, have a better physique etc. But even though I've read countless PUA books, even paid a coach, been in various social groups (been both popular and unpopular) - I still don't know what steps I can take in order to be liked and like back in a romantic sense - no matter what I try, where I live etc. Self-improvement kind of seems like a meme If you literally don't know what steps to take further and can't even imagine finding some unicorn, since every red-pill/blue-pill etc theory suggests that this person simply doesn't exist, so how is loneliness NOT inevitable?

Like... People often ask me for advice w/ girls because I've filled my head with dumb psychological speculation that somehow helps others but not myself.

Arghh, rambling again.

---

Workout log:

- 30 days ab challenge day 11 (rest day for other stuff)

Also, had great trades :) I'm past my monthly goal.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Sun Mar 14, 2021 6:21 pm

Workout:

rest day

Log:

Hey!

Nothing much these few days, except a lot of internal frustration and typical panic attacks etc. (just like it has been for over a year and a half now). Made some good and bad crypto trades - still in profit, w/ 400 to about 530 usd in a week or so. Sleep is like always - shit. Hatred towards sexuality("the system" - nothings changed. Suicidal thoughts - same.)

It's on and off with no real solution, I guess. Singing, working out, doing design stuff and crypto helps a lot, but I still feel like there isn't a solution long term and even If I talk to women and they try to rationalize "liking women" - It often brings me even further into a dark hole. Don't get me wrong, like I said before again and again - I do like women on a platonic level, I just feel so repulsed towards the romantic side. Evolution really, really fucked up on that part that it makes me suicidal every time I think about it.

IM NOT GOING TO DO IT. I promised myself a long time ago, so no matter what, I won't "end it". I'll probably just make some decent money, buy a cheap house and live my life in "solitude" in some remote place I guess (WHERE there is great wifi and electricity and other luxurious things), bring my friends there and then die :)

Of course, first I have to become a great pianist/singer/designer/artist, so a LOOONG way to go.

Edit:

I decided to write down my fear about women.

- Feat of not looking good enough or being too skinny - this fear stems from the fact that I've gotten mostly negative reactions from women due to my physique and appearance.
- Feat of being someone's "not first" partner - this stems from the fact that up until I was in my early twenties, I didn't know that people wanted to have sex with random people and I thought that people truly wanted "love" more than sex. It makes me feel like I'm not important and just another "stick for pleasure".
- Fear of diseases/STD-s - similar to the former.
- Fear/disgust over sex overall - as in, I thought that sex was "wholesome", not this "animalistic", "lust" filled thing.
- Fear of being cheated on
- Fear of being dumped.
- Fear of being accused of rape or otherwise being inappropriate - due to the "recent" surge of posts that signal it.
- Fear of being "lusted after" in a sense - I don't want to be a "body on a stick", I want to be liked because of my "human" values.
- Fear of not being sexual enough - as In, I'm a afraid that when I tell a girl that I truly find sex disgusting, she'll be disgusted by me and tell everyone else etc.

These are the major fears I'll have to talk through w/ my therapist. A lot of them overlap.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:25 pm

Log:

Didn't work out.

I barely slept last night, fell asleep at 6am and woke up at 12. I can't sleep.
I keep having these panic attacks and my brain is in a constant flight or fight mode. What can I do? How do you get rid of the hatred?

It seems like no matter what I try, I can't get rid of "the red pill"/"black pill"/Incel mentality
It's been over a year now I think since I've joined this forum.
I keep having anger attacks daily, even hourly now. Sometimes it goes away for a week or so, the longest I've felt normal is maybe a month, but that might be a stretch.

I CAN'T SLEEP. Can't even get therapy due to Covid.

How can I start liking girls again? Talking doesn't help since I just cover my hatred up for a while.
How do I start seeing them as normal human beings, not sexual deviants who want a Chad to fuck em hard because "lulz haha"?

I also lost a weeks work of progress in my portfolio due to bad trades. The good thing is I can make a weeks worth back in a day lol.

Why would any girl like a guy who has spent most of his life trying to understand women with no luck? I mean, I understand them, but I keep trying to understand how to... like them in a sense. And how I can be liked by them. Like, I think I've literally spent over ten years over this shit.

I can help my friends because they have absolutely different goals. I can help my friends so they don't become like me - bitter, hateful and unable to even feel attracted to girls anymore, because my brain is so miswired I only feel fear, disgust, hatred...

At least my friends can normally flirt with girls, at least my friends don't feel attracted to a girl every 3 years - they are normal men who actually want to have sex.

I'm TERRIFIED of feminism, I'm terrified of women in a romantic context, I'm disgusted by promiscuity and I have no CLUE how to change that, especially when media and our culture pushes that "sex should be celebrated" thing.

I just want some kind of safety, I'm tired of this extreme danger, not being able to even make a joke without being afraid of being completely ostracized for.

I wish to be the happy, confident, cheerful person who, yeah, didn't have any girls, but had great friends, great outlook on life, didn't care about "gender issues" - just normal.
I STILL don't have an idea how to get that back. The problem IS NOT sex.

How, for some people. isn't suicide the answer? I don't mean killing yourself, but not existing if there literally is no solution to this kind of suffering?

Edit: Like often is the case, this post came through an emotional lense.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Fri Mar 19, 2021 12:23 am

Quick log.

I'm back to being radicalized and "black pilled" (oooh so edgy). I've spoken to some feminists they do kinda make me pissed off. Even if I try to rationalize (and they have been really smart), I feel like they don't understand the underlying message.

For example, I saw a post from a man who tried to tell other men why feminism and NOT mra is important to men and... I just can't agree with it.



It talks about how men are ostracized by things that are considered feminine etc. and I absolutely just can't agree with that

- I've never lived in a system where I was ostracized by expressing my emotions. I am NOT a masculine man by the general sense (I can be pretty flamboyant) and there have been single instances where I've been called out slightly for that. Where the fuck is it common to do the "you run like a girl" that isn't the freaking 1990s?
- I've never been afraid of playing with children etc. I HAVE been afraid to hold a baby, for example, because of the innate fear of "what'll happen if I drop the baby?!" and it's not feminine
- Men are usually mocked for their bodies for being unhealthy, not for being feminine. Yes, it IS dumb, but it hasn't anything to do with gender. Men are "mocked" by women in the dating market when they try to flirt - often being downright rejeted verbally, like "eww!!" or due to height. Nothing to do w/ feminism.
- I HAVE been called "sickly skinny" by WOMEN - mocked being skinny doesn't have anything to do with feminism.

The reason WHY men become misogynistic bitter freaks goes something like this

1) Have a relatively decent childhood, be maybe somewhat bullied -> during teenage years, want that "wholesome" relationship - bf/gf, hold hands and shit, kiss, maybe have sex with a girl -> see that "bad boys" do all the things that you DON'T want to do, but girls like it - be incredibly sexual, hyper-confident etc. It doesn't go well with you because you literally DON'T want to be that - you want that wholesome shit, right? -> grow slightly older, maybe even have a decent social life, good friends (both male and female) - keep searching for that "nice" girl until you realize that it's possible that she doesn't exist -> realize that girls like to have sex. A lot. Girls are passionate, sexual beings, often want to be submissive etc. Complete culture shock - wtf, I mean, some girls want that, but most girls still want like maybe one, two partners, right? And have a decent, "booring" relationship, right? -> Grow older, realize that girls usually have a LOT of partners and you become even more shocked, maybe even grow a hatred towards anything romantic (since, again it's a freaking shock to you - you thought that girls want that WHOLESOME shit and only a few girls want to be fucked etc.) -> Lose all trust, fear and hatred grows. You DO have decent female friends, yes, and you still like girls in a platonic way, but since your brain is so miswired no that everything sexual is repulsive to you, you lose the ability to have psychological attraction towards girls.

Most of these lonely guys aren't frustrated because they aren't wanted nor because they can't get laid (It IS a part of it) - a lot of them are frustrated because they can't have that "wholesome" love and relationship that they wanted, with one booring partner, without fearing cheating, without wanting any "passion" or "lust". Most of these guys don't like promiscuous girls not because "OMG evil patriarchy told me that women can't have sex!" (although, again, there IS truth in it), they don't want girls like that because, guess what? They THEMSELVES don't want to be like that, nor have they ever WANTED to be like that and they would like to have a girl that has also been consistent in that department.

To end this on a positive note, these girls I spoke to really, truly are actually decent and smart human beings. I just feel like there is a LOT of misconception and I hate the meme of "men don't need mra!! Men don't have any problems! Every male problem is caused by toxic masculinity and patriarchy!!"

Gender as a construction IS dumb and it WOULD be great if every woman, every man, every person could just do whatever the f they wanted to, but it doesn't give ANYONE the right to not like someone for their past behaviour OR then we can't have any double standards like "partner count doesn't matter! I only date over 6 foot tall!" .

I AM a handsome guy (I know, I know - I probably have body dysmorphia and have depressive days where I feel like I'm a 3 out of 10, do body checking etc.) and I AM liked by women, yet I still feel like it DOES suck not pick men because they "aren't attractive enough.

It DOES suck that I also struggle in not being able trust girls, being able to pick a partner based on her partner count "because it's misogynistic" EVEN THOUGH I myself am a virgin and have no interest in banging that many chicks (It's fine if people do it)

To end it - I think I just like... Inconsisntency masked as "reformation".

Again, angry emotional rant. Please anyone who reads this, don't take it too seriously.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
Adam
Posts: 88 | Thanks: 65
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 33

Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:25 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Fri Mar 19, 2021 12:23 am
For example, I saw a post from a man who tried to tell other men why feminism and NOT mra is important to men and... I just can't agree with it.
Good. You shouldn't. You don't need that poison in your life.
Post Reply