dashedhopes wrote: ↑
Wed Mar 24, 2021 11:07 am
Are you a virgin?
I feel like any dude that has had sex and shared a real bond with a woman they wouldn't be saying this stuff.
I am a virgin yes. I have had decent women around me all throughout my life though (friends, colleagues, family members etc.)
dashedhopes wrote: ↑
Wed Mar 24, 2021 11:07 am
Why do you hate sex? Is it because you're not having any? Because girls won't have it with you?
I really don't know. It's mostly because I had a culture shock when coming to college - I didn't know that people want sex that much, I didn't know that people actually enjoy sex more than love, I didn't know girls want to be fucked etc. The girls in my class (hs) had very similar problems to guys - we wanted relationships, but mostly couldn't find a suitable person. It's like once I got into college, I realized that people are way more animalistic than I am. Girls HAVE wanted to "seduce" me etc., but it's in a sexual way, not in a wholesome way as in "you're actually a decent person" etc. I have absolutely no idea why I've made sex this negative thing in my mind.
It's like animalistic = sexual = gruesome = evil = what bad boys/fucbois get = what I have no intrinsic want to be, what makes me feel good vs humane = romantic = wholesome = good = what decent people want = what I actually want to be like and what makes me feel good,
The only chances I've had with girls were girls who wanted to cheat on their boyfriends w/ me. No shit I get this negative attitude towards women.
I WANT women to WANT wholesome shit, because I ACTUALLY like being "beta", but for some reason evolution or culture just... Doesn't work that way.
What I want in life?
1) One, average looking, maybe 5-6/10 looking preferably virgin girlfriend (probably impossible)
2) Doesn't intrinsically like sexuality that much, doesn't think of sex as this "beautiful thing" and is mostly sexually repulsed
3) Is intrinsically attracted to "humane" values like virtue, calmness etc.
These are absolutely, utterly bullshit parameters and no sane woman would like that shit. Other people are actually normal and they WANT to be animalistic, they ENJOY that shit.
In short, I for some reason am repulsed how evolution/biology/culture has evolved in a sense, that people are more sexual than wholesome and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it except cope like I've done for the past year or two
Edit: I haven't ALWAYS had bad ideas about sex
1) In college, I decided I want a gf (like I've always tried ever since I was like 14 ). Been through "TRP", PUA phases - never understood how come the guys there want to bang multiple chicks because that was never my want, need or goal. I thought I could just "cheat the system" - become a sexual guy and STILL get this wholesome shit, because girls react to the sexual, confident shit. (something-something "red pill tools -> blue pill goals" can never happen)
2) Became hotter in the last two years or so
3) last year (third semester), when I was extremely confident and happy where I was in my life (like... I've never felt before), I had bad multiple bad experiences in sequence with the only girls i've ever had a chance with - they had boyfriends and wanted me to cheat.
4) Became bitter, because sex and cheating was the 10th thing on my mind - I just wanted a decent girlfriend, maybe hold hands and shit.
5) From my happy, confident, improved self (because I truly wanted to reach my goals) I became this bitter, depressed shell of a human being because I realized that even IF I manage to find a girlfriend that has similar values, in the end it's just not realistic and there's a huge chance that even she will want to have sex rather than a "logical" relationship.
6) Came here, hoping to get back on track, on and off for a year or so - now I'm even more confused, depressed and utterly hopeless than before.
I just don't see a way out of it - only if someone literally...
1) outlawed sex with multiple partners
2) made it so that people can only date their looksmatches (5 w/ a 5, 6 w/ a 6 etc.)
3) completely destroyed the sexual marketplace
... I see myself becoming calm and confident again, because it would mean that I could reach my goals, but in the current system - I just don't fucking see it.
Also, it IS utterly bullshit, since a lot of people WOULD be miserable in a totaliarian system like that. I'm one of the select few who would fit into that system, others would be depressed.
I know that there are men in my family line that have had very similar issues - they've become alcoholics and there have been cases of suicide
99% of my issues stem from a probable, undiagnosed mental illness or something... I just don't know
I just hate being this angry and depressed - I wish I could have these simpler times back like in HS where I didn't think about girls, when I didn't care about sexuality etc. I just can't... the "red pill" and "black pill" is burned into my subconcious and it won't change :/