MattsCrib doesn't want to hide himself

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Sun Apr 04, 2021 7:38 pm

Dustin wrote:
Sun Apr 04, 2021 6:57 pm
I responded to you in this vlog:

Thanks!

You ARE right. You're telling the same thing as anyone else here and you're all mostly correct :)

Underlying mental illness (I've had OCD since I was 15-16, I was afraid of dying, being a pedo, being trans etc.) leads me to constantly relapsing to my "incel" mindset, including long winded rants about "WaHmEn NoT LiEk mE OnLy WanT S3X!!" etc.

I am probably mentally ill due to 1) bad experiences 2) culture 3) genetics etc. Many reasons.
I use this forum to rant. When I do write these long winded posts, I have a panic attack which means that a lot of it is emotional, but since I have nobody to talk to (covid and shit + my parents and friends are tired of it) and It makes me feel better. A LOT of it comes through a negative emotional lens.

I DO probably have underlying sexual issues, I do have probably other mental issues etc. I need help, but psychiatrist haven't been helpful so far.
Yes, I DO need to change my environment, yes, I DO need to start at least casually talking to girls etc. Yes, I probably do need to flirt, be more sexual (or just freaking romantic, flirty - just a tiny bit).

You guys ARE right. This is currently my "saner" side speaking. I WILL come back here and probably write another "ragepost" about doomer shit.
Who isn't insane during this day and age? It isn't anything that new :D I AM in my head since I'm a NEET living with my parents during covid, who has only had negative (if any) romantic experiences with girls.

Thanks again (you and others here)

And oh, trust me, it IS pretty bad :D These couple of years made me from a normal, fun loving, happy guy to a fully hateful bitter incel who hates everyone and everything and is borderline... yeah. (especially in the age of tinder etc.)

Edit:

Some response vids to me when my downward spiral started :D
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
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Dustin
Posts: 223 | Thanks: 31
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Sun Apr 04, 2021 8:01 pm

Yea don't worry about it man. It's also your log do whatever the fuck you want, rant, whatever. I just gave you my feedback basically. Trust me it's all from a place of love and non judgement.

I know people need to connect with others and I think that's actually really important, even if you are in a bad place right now. The problem of course is when you suck, people don't want to connect with you as much. The people who need it the most probably tend to get it the least, but nobody said life was fair.

I do hope this improves for you in time.
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Dustin
Posts: 223 | Thanks: 31
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Sun Apr 04, 2021 8:08 pm

Also I have a ton of experience with OCD. I haven't gone into it much on here, but at some points my OCD was probably like one of the worst cases you've ever seen. Like being on Dr Phil or tv or something over it. It was insanely bad.

That I have actually 95 - 99% conquered at this point so if you need help with OCD, I do actually know alot about that, you can PM me too if you need to. I have worked with a therapist in the past on it even and he taught me alot too.
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Wifty
Posts: 195 | Thanks: 121
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Sun Apr 04, 2021 11:07 pm

The two of you simply burried my comment yet the log title is 'doesn't want to hide himself'.
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MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Sun Apr 04, 2021 11:46 pm

Wifty wrote:
Sun Apr 04, 2021 11:07 pm
The two of you simply burried my comment yet the log title is 'doesn't want to hide himself'.
??

No, no! I saw it and I agree with you. (I also qutoed it. or maybe something got deleted?)
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
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Dustin
Posts: 223 | Thanks: 31
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:26 am

Wifty wrote:
Sun Apr 04, 2021 11:07 pm
The two of you simply burried my comment yet the log title is 'doesn't want to hide himself'.
I didn't know what you meant by this either. I read it and agreed with it. I just didn't have anything to add to it.
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Wifty
Posts: 195 | Thanks: 121
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:27 pm

I'm talking about the fact the best thing both of you could be doing right now is arrange and maximize your social freedom instead of coming up with excuses... Excuses Being trying to arrange yourselves through other means than social and sexual exposure.


Maybe you need time.


This post is mostly towards Matt but it applies to the both of you.

You have absolutely no idea how it feels and how the world looks like when you can talk to the girls you want and tell them you like them.
Otherwise you wouldn't be having the kind of conversation you have now.



You're in a place where People do concrete things to arrange themselves, they show how to and show exactly what needs to be done and how to do it.
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Wifty
Posts: 195 | Thanks: 121
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:32 pm

Yet you still go your own way.


It's like Being around bodybuilders Who do this from 10 years, they tell you and show you exactly what you need to do and how you do it, and you completely dismiss their advices.



Matt, with Love. Really.


I don't have Nothing against you but

don't claim you want to change, make progress, improve your life and change your view on women when you don't apply other people's advice.


Your log is the same album over and over again.



It just makes no sense from my perspective.

I truly do not understand.


Do you really want to change or what ?
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MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Mon Apr 05, 2021 5:57 pm

Wifty wrote:
Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:32 pm
Yet you still go your own way.


It's like Being around bodybuilders Who do this from 10 years, they tell you and show you exactly what you need to do and how you do it, and you completely dismiss their advices.



Matt, with Love. Really.


I don't have Nothing against you but

don't claim you want to change, make progress, improve your life and change your view on women when you don't apply other people's advice.


Your log is the same album over and over again.



It just makes no sense from my perspective.

I truly do not understand.


Do you really want to change or what ?
I agree :D :D

I WILL try to move out asap, talk to more women. However, there are fundamental dangers that come with women etc., so the fear and hatred has grown so strong that I find it borderline impossible to even get out of my bed etc.

I'm not only bitter, I'm literally terrified of even looking at a girl, because nothing good can come out of it.
1) She finds me disgusting - I have the chance to get rape charges, insults etc.
2) She finds me attractive - Just because of some dumb parameters I'm better than the other guys, even though I don't deserve to be better. I'll be just another "stick to be ridden on for fun" - nothing special, just replacable like any other guy.

Etc.

I have to somehow turn these things into positives and talking to women is... Impossible when I can't fundamentally like them. I've even grown spiteful towards my female friends now and try to keep my conversations at a minimum and they DO NOT deserve it due to their nature etc. I've grown spiteful of my sisters, even though I love them as human beings.

Women don't deserve to be thought of that way, but I just can't see the positive in it. I try, I really do try, but I keep slipping back man. It's gotten worse and worse, every single fucking gender issue triggers me, makes me fueled with rage, incredibly sad and borderline suicidal. The worst part is that I don't have any fucking help (besides writing her and getting some encouragement)

I've recently been even lashing out towards my female friends when I've talked to them :/ I don't know how to control my hatred. In fact, I'm starting to believe that most guys shouldn't even take part of society.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
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Dustin
Posts: 223 | Thanks: 31
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:43 pm

@Wifty

I think everybody needs to work hard and I certainly know I have. Some guys though are coming from a pretty rough place.

I won't speak for Matt, but I know for myself, I really do want to change. It's not fucking easy though. When you have a serious mental illness. And anyone that hasn't had one, I'm not trying to be rude, but just like we don't understand what it's like to think like a healthy person, you may not understand what it's like to think like a truly unhealthy one either.

It's a tough balance to strike. Of course you need to take action or it won't change, but I don't think the answer either is always just "hey bro you should just man the fuck up and do this simple thing and everything will be cool".

It's a long term struggle. If someone has had extreme mental illness and overcome it, then i will respect and listen to their opinion on it. But otherwise they don't fully understand it. Just like how someone who doesn't have a ton success with hot girls doesn't understand about fucking hot girls either.

Of course I agree though, I hope Matt will start taking positive steps, even if small for now, to try and turn this around, and it definitely won't ever change without it either.
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Dustin
Posts: 223 | Thanks: 31
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:50 pm

@MattsCrib

Start figuring out some positive action steps, even if small, that you can do now and stick to them no matter what, or how hopeless you otherwise feel. That is my advice to you. Start making progress on something, anything. That's my answer to you right now.
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Karter tha Don
Posts: 4 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2021 11:25 am
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 31
Motto: The World is Mine

Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:23 pm

Wifty wrote:
Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:32 pm
Do you really want to change or what ?
I think his issues with women require a more complex solution than "Looking good and talking to women". He clearly needs help from a licensed therapist and in fairness to him, he has recognized as much but COVID has made it harder for him to see someone if I understood his past messages correctly.

My advice to him, for what it's worth, would be to completly forget about women until he gets said help, and starts taking action on himself. He needs a ' Win' in his life right now. Just set a goal and become 100% obsessed with it until he reaches it. That could be lose 5 pounds, gain 5 pounds of muscle or whatever.
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:59 pm

Thanks guys! I need professional help. (it got delayed due to covid). There are steps right now I can do (INCLUDING taking small steps talking to women) but I am not fine in the head - it IS borderline dangerous to me and/or might be dangerous to other people around me. That DOES NOT mean that I will turn myself away from society, it means that first and foremost - yes, professional help.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
User avatar
Wifty
Posts: 195 | Thanks: 121
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Mon Apr 05, 2021 8:13 pm

Yh Dustin sorry mate Nothing to you.




I've been harsh on you Matt,
Karter May be right about you however when you look at a lot of guys here and Gll few of them were Same as neurotics as Matt.

But they did not make excuses.




That's the whole point Matt.
I get what you're doing and it's all right, you're doing a great job.
User avatar
MattsCrib
Posts: 347 | Thanks: 94
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Get rid of hatred
Age: 25

Mon Apr 05, 2021 9:01 pm

Wifty wrote:
Mon Apr 05, 2021 8:13 pm
Yh Dustin sorry mate Nothing to you.




I've been harsh on you Matt,
Karter May be right about you however when you look at a lot of guys here and Gll few of them were Same as neurotics as Matt.

But they did not make excuses.




That's the whole point Matt.
I get what you're doing and it's all right, you're doing a great job.
No, no, no, you haven't been harsh at all.
Like I said, you guys are right, but I have two "sides" etc.
2021 GOALS

- Figure out how to start liking girls (besides friends)
- Fix sleep issues/depression
- Make at least 5k EUR by the end of 2021
- Gain 10kg, get a proper sixpack
- Get Instagram art/design following
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