Jonathan makes a discorery

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Wed Feb 17, 2021 7:10 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 4:38 pm
* Met up with my old friends - partied, talked, discussed about mental issues, women. I don't see them often, but every time I go visit them in another city, it's like a weight has been lifted - I kind of "lose" depression for a few days. Also, my attractive friends have very similar problems to me when it comes to women.
Even though they have dated, had girlfriends etc. they still have incredible trust issues due to girls having cheated, having had many partners etc.
This is good stuff man. If you can find people you feel good around, that's a good start. They help keep you sane too, so you've got someone you trust to bounce thoughts off of and give you feedback.
MattsCrib wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 4:38 pm
Something that my friends also affirmed was that. again, my lack of success w/ women isn't my looks since I'm apparently the best looking guy in that friends group
And they've reaffirmed what a bunch of us have been telling you. That you aren't repulsive or even ugly. You just have some beliefs and attitudes that are holding you back and (because of those beliefs) you aren't taking the actions that would improve your chances with women. Which sucks, but hey, that's something you can change, right?
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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jackBruh
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Slay demons
Age: 26

Sat Feb 20, 2021 2:22 am

You ever heard of mood-surfing? Basically, your emotions are all from hormones etc so you can influence them but it's also a physical thing. They are real. But they always return to a baseline. Whenever something bad happens or you get angry, you've just got to remember that nothing lasts. You've got to ride the wave of your emotion. You can fight it but you'll still be swept away with it. Running away from it just delays you actually processing what is causing you pain. You've got to sit with the emotion and feel it. Once you can feel it fully and process it, then it will go away and you can feel normal again. It's embracing the pain upfront, so it doesn't haunt you later. In your case it might come back a few times, but as you practise you'll realise that you can handle bad emotions.
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
User avatar
jackBruh
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Slay demons
Age: 26

Sat Feb 20, 2021 5:42 am

MattsCrib wrote:
Sat Feb 20, 2021 3:11 am
there are moments where I even feel euphoric after crying my ass off and having a panic/anger attack.
Yeah crying releases endorphins which is why you feel better afterwards. You've just got to process it and let it happen. Once you can fully realise and sit with your emotions, only then you can start to try and influence them.
[Just general mindfulness stuff I've been taught/read]
MattsCrib wrote:
Sat Feb 20, 2021 4:59 am
Have you guys felt the feeling that the more hopeless and depressed you feel, the more hate you feel towards others?
That's probably just because you're feeling hate in general and whatever you think of you end up hating.

I know it sounds stupid, but gratefulness really helped me get a handle on my emotions. I just set an alarm on my watch everyday at the same time, and I just had to think of something I was grateful for. Big or small (grateful I'm alive, grateful for the coffee I'm having etc). Once you start thinking in terms of gratefulness and looking for it every now and then, then you start to see it in more places naturally as well.
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
User avatar
Manganiello
Posts: 1710 | Thanks: 2021
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 2:25 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Career Launch
Age: 33
Motto: Embrace your Darkside
Location: Seoul

Sun Feb 21, 2021 2:02 pm

I've never had hatred this bad. So I can't really give specific advice.

Just keep putting in the effort to get rid of it.
.
Past Goals:
🗡️ AA Program Log
☀️ Lost vCard from Day Game Post
🇰🇷 Moved to Korea Post
🔥 OLD Log & Lays Log


How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
[Guide]

.
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Reservoir
Posts: 311 | Thanks: 48
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 8:02 pm
Name: Dimitri
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30

Sun Feb 21, 2021 3:19 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Sun Feb 21, 2021 3:55 am
90% of my time is spent online
Spending the vast majority of your time sat in a chair consuming content is terrible for your mental health. Been there done that when I was younger.

You'll be in a constant state of feeling irritated because you're an addict on the verge of withdrawal the minute he stops looking at a youtube video or a reddit post.
  • Goals:
    • 1 cold approach lay
    • 5 approaches in 1 day
    • 10 approaches in 1 day
    • 20 approaches in 1 day
    • Reach Milestone: 20 lifetime lays [29/20]
User avatar
Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Sun Feb 21, 2021 4:10 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Sun Feb 21, 2021 3:32 pm
Yeah it's nuts. I don't have much outlet right now besides gym. I just hate the physical manifestation of hatred - you tense up and start grinding teeth in anger etc. It's good that at least I've made the move to contact a therapists because I truly think I can be a danger not only to myself but others if this continues.
Hell, every time I read about guys (especially older guys) getting laid with young chicks, it moves me slightly further towards "the end" - for some reason my brain can't handle the subjective "immorality" of it, like it's somehow the most evil thing possible etc. I have absolutely no clue why my brain feels like that.
If you're stuck inside, you still have other outlets besides the gym and the internet. From what you've written, it's obvious that reading social media is bad for your mental health. If it's that bad, it sounds like even video games and tv would be an upgrade over being online. Reading a book would be a huge upgrade. And it doesn't have to be a self-improvement book. I think reading fiction can be great for your mental health. Whatever you choose doesn't need to be productive, just get away from the stuff that makes you angry and irritated.

I've been staying off twitter recently for the same reason. And generally I'm not doing productive things instead. I'm reading about video games and other things that still give me that surge of satisfaction but don't make me angry.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
User avatar
Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Tue Feb 23, 2021 2:12 pm

The pic didn't post, but I'm glad to see you talking more with IRL friends and feeling more normal, less bitter. And getting in the gym consistently.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
User avatar
Vice
Posts: 379 | Thanks: 120
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:22 am
Goal: Hit 190 lbs
Age: 33

Fri Feb 26, 2021 10:23 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Mon Jan 25, 2021 4:13 pm
but I live in a town w/ 6k people, that apparently 5% of which are my age people. I don't really live in a location where I can do that NOR am I generally, MOST OF THE TIME not interested in girls that much
Dude, pump the fucking brakes. You need to move the fuck out of your town as your number one priority. The rest of your post is irrelevant until you do so. Most of your challenges will resolve themselves once you're in a place with people your age and seeing attractive women on a daily basis to motivate you.

Sell all your shit and get the fuck out of there. Now. Almost of the shit you're doing to improve yourself will be appreciated or even on anyone's radar, which is going to make it difficult for you to appreciate any work you've done on yourself.

Leave. Sell your fucking truck or whatever, sell everything but childhood stuff and LEAVE.
Vice's Log (Threesomes, military adventures, online dating shitshow, and shaking off the rust from night game: viewtopic.php?t=739
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Vice
Posts: 379 | Thanks: 120
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:22 am
Goal: Hit 190 lbs
Age: 33

Sat Feb 27, 2021 5:24 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Fri Feb 26, 2021 10:31 pm
I am seriously thinking about it lol. Right now, I live at my parents house due to covid restrictions + it's freaking cold and my apartment in my college town is freezing. However, you are completely right - at least my college town has about 20k people, which is NEARLY not enough to meet beautiful women daily. Like... Literally - our countrys whole college life is a joke compared to the stuff you get in other countries. We are SMALL, which means that every year there are about 100-150 new students. That's it. Keep in mind that at least half of those are guys, half of the girls (leaves about 50) are not single or not interested, maybe not even that pretty etc.

Make preparations to move out of your parents house the MICROSECOND COVID restrictions are relaxed. There will be underground parties and events in larger cities where you'll be able to meet new women. Either move to a large city new country (you can still work a large city in a small country) or somewhere else, I'm confident we can help you narrow it down once you do your own research.
MattsCrib wrote:
Fri Feb 26, 2021 10:31 pm
So that's why i'm always confused when people keep talking about dating, meeting multiple girls every WEEK (not even every month lol) but it seems that it's normal in larger countries. I'm definitely thinking of getting a masters degree just because not having met girls during my college time. (like... I'm 26 and I'm still single, no girls ever, still a virgin.) even though I have been relatively social.
Tread with caution; getting a master's degree is a time and effort commitment that may not be worth it if one of your main goals is getting access to girls in college. There are better strategies for that.
MattsCrib wrote:
Fri Feb 26, 2021 10:31 pm
AT THE SAME TIME - even if I DO live in a small country - how the fuck are other guys and girls in relationships, getting laid, hooking up etc.? Or am I just delusional? (even though I KNOW that girls do get laid, at least way more than I lol)
This is a very good question and I'm glad you asked. I've recently moved to a city and asked couples how they met, and it's frequently from high school. Meaning the guy took at the most four years to convey his personality before the girl opted to go out with him. These people have known each other for years through "built-in" social situations. Same thing happens with student athletes; when you're a student athlete, you get a "preprepared social circle". They are NOT putting in the same amount of effort like you are, and once they leave college and enter the real world, they will experience extreme difficulty meeting women since they spent their entire lives having social situations handed to them.

I suggest that you ask couples how they met to see for yourself, and you may also stumble upon a hidden social dynamic in your town that may provide an opportunity to meet new women. For example, in my new town I've moved to, asking that question has led me to find a few new bars/clubs/social groups that I would have never found online.
Vice's Log (Threesomes, military adventures, online dating shitshow, and shaking off the rust from night game: viewtopic.php?t=739
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jackBruh
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Slay demons
Age: 26

Tue Mar 02, 2021 9:53 pm

Good stuff dude. Keep it up
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
User avatar
jackBruh
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Slay demons
Age: 26

Wed Mar 03, 2021 9:07 pm

Read The Power of When to help with your sleep, it's eye opening
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
User avatar
Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Tue Mar 09, 2021 6:30 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Mon Mar 08, 2021 5:21 pm
How do you guys do it? How do you manage? Like... I keep working on myself, but I see no results for years and years. Fitness has NOT helped me, social life has NOT helped me, since I don't even meet new people.

I CAN'T move. Even if I DID move, things usually don't change that much. I've lived in 4 different cities (one was 3 months on the canary islands) w/ no change. How the fuck do I change? I can't go on like this.

How? Just how? I STILL have no answers. HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH? I KNOW I don't need surgery, I KNOW I have a visible four pack at least, yet my "uglier" looking friends get attention etc. I HAVE been popular during highschool, I have had a decent social life etc. WHAT CAN I DO? I'm so freaking lost man
I'm seeing a contradiction in your thought process. You say: "I don't even meet new people." Then ask: "HOW DO I BECOME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH?" If you aren't meeting girls, it doesn't matter how attractive you are. You have no opportunities to put that attractiveness to use.

Have you tried online dating or cold approach or are you just relying on meeting girls through social life? A social life which has been stunted for all of us over the past year. Andy's said it a million times: "It's a numbers game." How many girls are you meeting? How many are you asking out? The girls you meet through socializing: are you asking them out or are you waiting for it to "just happen" as if you're a pretty girl? You're a man. You will probably never be so attractive that the girls you want will come to you and initiate things. You will probably never be so attractive that you never get turned down.

Let's get actual numbers. You say that nothing is working for you. How many women have you asked out in the last 2 months? Social, Cold Approach, Online. Of those, how many have agreed to a date and of those, how many have showed up? If your answer is "I haven't asked any women out over the past 2 months", your problem is lack of action.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
User avatar
jackBruh
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Slay demons
Age: 26

Sat Mar 13, 2021 1:58 am

MattsCrib wrote:
Sat Mar 13, 2021 12:47 am
Should I visualize that "one day I will like a girl and she will like me back`? How? It seems like fantasizing about a unicorn - I don't feel like this person exists.
Your best bet is to probably start small, "people DO like me. I have friends who enjoy my company". Every time you think of something negative about it, just say that to yourself and internalise it. It'll eventually become a habit
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
User avatar
Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:25 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Fri Mar 19, 2021 12:23 am
For example, I saw a post from a man who tried to tell other men why feminism and NOT mra is important to men and... I just can't agree with it.
Good. You shouldn't. You don't need that poison in your life.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
User avatar
DNPTHC
Posts: 97 | Thanks: 91
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 6:44 am
Goal: Get Laid Again
Age: 26
Motto: Just Try

Fri Mar 19, 2021 4:05 pm

Getting away from red pill sites and off the internet in general m. (This forum included) is one of the best things you can do for your mental health.

I come back to check in from time to time to see how people are doing. However i compare it to a rear and side view mirror.

It’s best to check it briefly to make sure you’re not hitting a blind spot so to speak.

Good luck with your goals
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