Toast's AA log - Completed :) - Reuploading my videos as well

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Toast
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Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
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Thu Mar 25, 2021 1:54 am

sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:45 pm
Think about the drill before hand and plan what can be done to achieve success the best
I think just thinking about situations that may or may not happen prepare me for interactions. I always over think when asking for directions. Like "ok there's a coffee shop near me so i cant ask for that cuz that's silly, maybe ill ask about something else. Ok now that the coffee shop is on the other side of the mall I can now use this dialog in the approach." Working out these small details in my head before hand alleviates the anxiety sometimes. Or even thinking about the malls layout in terms of girls density per side of the mall. Like "The north side of the mall has h&m and zara, so ill go there first and attempt 10 approaches, then after ill go to the south side where target it and get 5 more." Having some sort of plan helps me. Since all approaches are unfamiliar territory. Having a little bit of a plan relieves some of the stress.
sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:45 pm
A few times I've changed my mind after approaching someone if I think they look unfriendly and do this. Disgusting habit
I don't think judging people based on their looks is a bad thing. We've basically been doing it the whole time while looking for hot girls. I think if u think they look unfriendly and that's why u don't approach because they are intimidating is different then judging their looks. The internal reasons for not approaching based on looks is what matters. Idk if this makes sense.
sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:45 pm
The days I've done this as a personal challenge, it seems to erase most of my anxiety afterwards no matter what drill it is. You got good results too I see. Do you remember if the first girl you talked to heard you approach the second girl for the banana phone?
I was super hyped after this and very proud of myself. I'm not sure if the first girl heard me approach the second, but the second girl definitely heard me approach the first. Like u said., the days where you set personal challenges are the days you grow the most.
sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:33 pm
When you say you want your own place, probably with housemates though right? Unless you're moving to Wisconsin
Im looking at my options, I could probably squeeze a place into my budget for a single bedroom by myself in sf but it would be tiny. The alternative would be moving into a spot with a room mate tho. Idk what friends wanna possibly move out with me tho. This is all in the very early stages of planning. Also definitely not moving to Wisconsin.
sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:33 pm
Love it, fuck yeah. What would you have done if they'd gone into the parking lot? Run and catch up to them like you said, I guess. Still picturing you running after girls in the parking lots and yelling "hey, wait a second! you're cute!" Lol
I would have had to restart the whole week. If I saw them turn towards the parking lot I most likely would have ran to catch up to them. The fear of having to restart the whole week is definitely a great motivator.
sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:33 pm
Potato Corner isn't just a one-off thing? I saw one for the first time the other day, and it looked seriously great
I think it is a chain, just not really popular in America. I believe its from the Philippines. Im a big fan, even without the girls behind the register lol
sundleboro wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:33 pm
"It's my moral code" lol. Heard about it earlier but you went through that too just like @manganiello. Nothing you wanted to say to her afterwards?
At this point in the day I was honestly just over it. I'm also not really that combative so I didn't feel the need to call her out. I think Chris has said that its fine if you want to move on and not worry about it, and generally you have a healthy mentality to not need to fight someone about it. If u do get offended you should call her a bitch or whatever. The point of @Manganiello calling that girl a bitch was that he wanted to do it so he had to.
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Toast
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Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:13 am

No drills today

Whole day was taken up by the Sherriff Deputy test. Fuckin 3.5 hour test that didn't need to be so excessively long. Woke up this morning at a reasonable time - 8:50 I think. Collected myself and calmed my nerves b4 the test. Ate breakfast, had a healthy amount of coffee. Dressed well and hopefully passed the test. Confident in 3/4 of the sections that I did very well, but 70% is the minimum needed in all of the sections. Unfortunately doing better in other sections does not carry the weight of doing poorly in others.

Weighed in at 185.7 after a dump - Finally hit that 185 on the scale. Gunna smash my target goal by like a few days. Very nice

@sundleboro You mentioned a weekly calorie goal, and that if you over eat on one day you under eat on another. I'm not sure what the benefits or determents for this type of eating could be. I generally stick to ~1700 calories every day. Which is around a 300 calorie deficit from my maintenance calorie intake. I think my body has adjusted a bit to the low calorie diet so maybe its less, but I'm still losing weight so maybe my metabolism has not regulated it self to a 1700 calorie diet yet. If I know I'm going to eat a big dinner I may eat a smaller breakfast to balance out the days calorie intake. I've also removed almost all liquid calories from my diet, as well as replacing most sugars for sweeteners. I'm pretty strict with counting calories and tend to over estimate what I eat when I get takeout, as to not over eat accidentally.

I've also tried to eat healthier, but I've also substituted a lot of me favorite dishes for low calorie ones. Chicken tikka masala, French toast, banana pancakes, waffles, chicken wraps, and spaghetti. it's not like I'm starving myself either. I still eat pretty good, im just more concious about eating excessive calories via high fat items like butter , maple syrup, chocolate, and sweets.
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Toast
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Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:57 pm

Short Update for today

Day 41b

Only had approximately 20 min b4 work for approaches.

Got 2 in. Called a girl cute. She seemed surprised but thanked me.
Next was a tall slender Asian girl. She was probably 6 ft tall. When I called her she seemed to really appreciate the compliment. I asked for the time and she had to fumble around in her bag to get her phone out and just showed me the time. Maybe some sort of language barrier. She seemed confused cuz I think she was looking around the area for something.

Trader joes was a bust. Only moms and couples in here today. Girl behind the cash register was cute, but instead of doing the drill I complimented her on her pants. Just sort of came out, I didn't really intend to do that, but they were pretty dope pants. Tight jeans that were laced up from the ankle to the hips on the front of each leg.

Walked the block but nobody was at my usual spots I hit up.

12/20 approaches for day 41 at this point.

Other Stuff
Ata a fuck ton of sushi last night. This morning I was 186.9. Yesterday I was most likely pretty dehydrated after my run so that's y I was ~185. No biggie. Still got 6 days to meet my goal of 185 by end of March
Only did deadlifts today for my workout. Not really trying to meet any goal weight. I've pulled 300 in the past but I probably rushed to hit the number. More focusing on technique and quality of lifts to get back to 300.
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Manganiello
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Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:57 pm

Toast wrote:
Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:57 pm
Got 2 in.
What time were you approaching?
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Past Goals:
🗡️ AA Program Log
☀️ Lost vCard from Day Game Post
🇰🇷 Moved to Korea Post
🔥 OLD Log & Lays Log


How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
[Guide]

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Toast
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Fri Mar 26, 2021 11:38 pm

Day 41c

Continuation of calling girls cute then getting 2 high 5s

Today went better than yesterday. I had approximately 30 min before work, and it was really sunny out. On the drive to my parking spot i could feel that today would be better. I saw some cute girls while driving around. Definitely a good sign.

I'll just type out my notes i took while walking around. 5 total approaches, but some of them were interesting. Maybe because i'm paying more attention to body language, or i'm just getting a feel for how a response may go after calling a girl cute.

#1 - Cute, time, Directions. And 2 non-sexual compliments for no reason. She was really responsive
#2 - Cuteish asian girl, pink crop top. Decently receptive, but got a high 5
#3 - Body language showed she was not very receptive. Crossed her arms after i called her cute. She still answered my questions, and gave me an elbow bump 2 times
#4 - She was walking in front of me, probably 20 or 30 ft away. Called out to her to stop her, and called her cute
#5 - walking towards me, Stopped her called her cute, asked the time

Missed out on 2 opportunities because the girls were across the street. Didn't wanna play frogger with traffic just for an approach.

Total Approaches for day 41 - 17/20. Most likely will finish this day in tandem with Day 42

The lady who did not seem receptive and crosser her arms, was somewhat of a surprising interaction. Initially i thought she would not respond well. She was very curt with her answers. But in the end she responded to everything i said and even gave me an elbow bump and a 2nd one when i asked. Maybe this is a case of she's not available, but is just a nice person or whatever.

Other Stuff
Weighed in at 186.3 - Not bad. I think eating after 10 is what causes me to keep weight on even if i don't eat a lot during the day. Some days where I eat 1700 but don't eat when i get home i see a small weight loss. Other days where i eat less during the day but then eat a snack at night to get to 1700 i don't see any weight loss.
Workout went well, Squats, Some legs, and core.

@Manganiello I was approaching before work at around 1:30. My normal time for approaching on working days. Some days when it's sunny out it's great, other days it can be dead.
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Mav
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 1:09 am

@sundleboro

That's all well and good but don't think most will be able to keep that kind of social freedom unless they're constantly cracking the whip and doing/saying those outrageous things on a consistent basis.
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Manganiello
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:14 am

Mav wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 1:09 am
The point of @Manganiello calling that girl a bitch was that he wanted to do it so he had to.
Yeah it's not about calling girls ourt for the sake of it. Its just leaving the interaction complete. Like you said everything that needed to be said. In my case. I was mad and regretted not telling her to "fuck off". The angry mom from yesterday... didn't need to yell at her. But I said everything that was on my mind.
Toast wrote:
Fri Mar 26, 2021 11:38 pm
Don't know if I told you guys, but I've been on a pretty strict calorie diet myself like you and @Manganiello
I've fluctuated wildly this last month. Strict diet work best for me but I need to put them as a 1b goal for them to work. Which I haven't done this last month.
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Past Goals:
🗡️ AA Program Log
☀️ Lost vCard from Day Game Post
🇰🇷 Moved to Korea Post
🔥 OLD Log & Lays Log


How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
[Guide]

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Manganiello
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:21 am

Mav wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 1:09 am
That's all well and good but don't think most will be able to keep that kind of social freedom unless they're constantly cracking the whip and doing/saying those outrageous things on a consistent basi
I dont know what this debate is about. Am I missing something?

The program makes you VERY direct with girls because you NEED to be when you approach for real life.

If you have no intention of approaching ever. Don't worry about it.

But if you do want to approach worry about it.

Whats wrong with asking a girl if she would fuck you? Honestly? Like for real.

It makes her feel uncomfortable maybe. But you're doing that just by approaching her. It doesn't matter dude.


I'm not sure where you're coming from @Mav I'm confused by your questions.
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Past Goals:
🗡️ AA Program Log
☀️ Lost vCard from Day Game Post
🇰🇷 Moved to Korea Post
🔥 OLD Log & Lays Log


How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
[Guide]

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Mav
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:32 am

Manganiello wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:21 am
Mav wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 1:09 am
That's all well and good but don't think most will be able to keep that kind of social freedom unless they're constantly cracking the whip and doing/saying those outrageous things on a consistent basi
I dont know what this debate is about. Am I missing something?

The program makes you VERY direct with girls because you NEED to be when you approach for real life.

If you have no intention of approaching ever. Don't worry about it.

But if you do want to approach worry about it.

Whats wrong with asking a girl if she would fuck you? Honestly? Like for real.

It makes her feel uncomfortable maybe. But you're doing that just by approaching her. It doesn't matter dude.


I'm not sure where you're coming from @Mav I'm confused by your questions.
Idk, think there's a fine line between going up and saying "Hi, you're cute" to directly asking "would you fuck me" in a mall lol. I get the point of it but for me and other people Ive talked to, if they hole up in their house, they backslide w/ their social skills. Would think the same would apply here in regards to the "social freedom" you're getting by asking such questions as part of program and then stopping the more outrageous things after the program is completed. Or do questions/behavior like that become the norm? Seriously curious.
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Manganiello
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:39 am

Mav wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:32 am
Idk, think there's a fine line between going up and saying "Hi, you're cute" to directly asking "would you fuck me" in a mall lol. I get the point of it but for me and other people Ive talked to, if they hole up in their house, they backslide w/ their social skills. Would think the same would apply here in regards to the "social freedom" you're getting by asking such questions as part of program and then stopping the more outrageous things after the program is completed. Or do questions/behavior like that become the norm? Seriously curious.
Oh I got you.

Umm. Yeah momentum does slip if you stop. 100%. I took a week off during the program and it was brutal starting again. So you do lose it (or "some of it" would be more accurate) But the point is to keep going. Like I'm spending most of the weekdays and weekends approaching.

For the outrageous things?
Hmm. I dont think so actually. I think you retain the ability to do it. As long as your still regularly approaching.

And it becomes valuable because you can say what's on your mind more freely. I mean in a sense your breaking free of social norms by approaching.

And it's weird because after you do outrageous things a few times it stops feeling outrageous. Same as driving a car I guess. Feels nerve racking at first and then you just become used to it.
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Past Goals:
🗡️ AA Program Log
☀️ Lost vCard from Day Game Post
🇰🇷 Moved to Korea Post
🔥 OLD Log & Lays Log


How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
[Guide]

.
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Toast
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Name: Devin
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:58 am

Manganiello wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:39 am
For the outrageous things?
Hmm. I dont think so actually. I think you retain the ability to do it. As long as your still regularly approaching.

And it becomes valuable because you can say what's on your mind more freely. I mean in a sense your breaking free of social norms by approaching.

And it's weird because after you do outrageous things a few times it stops feeling outrageous. Same as driving a car I guess. Feels nerve racking at first and then you just become used to it.
Id also agree with this statement. Getting going in the beginning is generally always a struggle, even to this day, with approaches.

But in terms of social freedom, I feel more confident to ask people for normal things, or just do whatever i want. I have no problem asking for things i want in social settings. Like telling people to move if they're in my way at the store. Some people feel anxious doing things like this, but the program kind of rewires your brain to be able to just do whatever u want.

I even find myself being more friendly and open to random people, just cuz i want to. I'll say hi to a stranger, give a compliment to a girl for no reason, talk to someone if they ask me a question. In the past i would definitely not be doing this. The aspect of social freedom isn't really to always be doing crazy things, but to just be confident in yourself and be able to do whatever u want.
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sundleboro
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 5:49 pm

Toast wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:33 pm
You mentioned a weekly calorie goal, and that if you over eat on one day you under eat on another. I'm not sure what the benefits or determents for this type of eating could be. I generally stick to ~1700 calories every day. Which is around a 300 calorie deficit from my maintenance calorie intake.
I guess the benefits are that when I overeat today, I know that I’m losing something (tomorrow’s calories). By actually eating less the next day or by intimidation, results in a lot faster weight loss for me.
Toast wrote:
Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:57 pm
#1 - Cute, time, Directions. And 2 non-sexual compliments for no reason. She was really responsive
Man I can’t imagine throwing in 2 compliments on top of the cute. Two already feels so unnatural. Good stuff

The lady whose responses didn’t match her body language, that’s really strange. Super interesting. Picturing that in my head lol
Mav wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:39 am
That's all well and good but don't think most will be able to keep that kind of social freedom unless they're constantly cracking the whip and doing/saying those outrageous things on a consistent basis.
Not gonna lie, I’ve had the same thought. But this stuff is based on exposure therapy principles, and psychologists use that to treat anxiety of all kinds as a panacea, and they don’t make you do the exposures every day until you die, just until you’re “bored with it”. So it must work permanently. And it’s better to do something on the chance that it will help (and by consensus of everyone whose done the program saying so) than do nothing and ensure it. The hopelessness may even feel good for you. You have to make the decision to follow a routine even in the face of it. You might want to see a professional and ask them about exposure therapy instead of doing the program first. If you’re afraid of elevators but don’t live in an apartment, then is it worth doing exposure therapy to stop being afraid of elevators? What if you relapse after not riding elevators for too long? Studies like these show that a single session of exposure therapy had permanently dampened anxiety to that situation in the brain when checked 6 months afterwards: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3384187/ There’s actually few literature on relapse from exposure therapy, which is a good sign, and seems there’s a way to avoid the chances of it coming back when you’re not doing the exposure every day: by getting a reward out of the situation that used to cause you fear. In these, the reward is the funny responses to the drills, and eventually at the end of the program, chicks. This may help you intellectualize the program a bit, it was designed intellectually based on these and experience.
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Toast
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Sat Mar 27, 2021 10:47 pm

sundleboro wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 5:49 pm
I guess the benefits are that when I overeat today, I know that I’m losing something (tomorrow’s calories). By actually eating less the next day or by intimidation, results in a lot faster weight loss for me.
That's definitely one way to compensate. Personally I don't like feeling hungry when I go to bed, so I don't think I could do this type of eating. Hunger pains suck ass.
Japanese Lay count -10

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Toast
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Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
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Sun Mar 28, 2021 12:34 am

Day 40d



Finally finished off the last 2 approaches for this day.

No warmup, just went straight into the approach. Cute girl in trader joes. Stopped her while she was shopping. Called her cute, got the time, kind of went off script here. I said that i saw the coffee shop next door was closed and asked if she knew a spot. She said she didn't. Then said "One last thing. High 5" and held up my had. Got the high 5 and left. She was nice, and answered my questions. Idk if going off script is bad, but it just felt more natural then firing off question after question.

Next girl was a really hot black chick. I'm generally am not attracted to black chicks, but this girl was hot! Tight crop top, conservative Afro, and she was thicc. She was across the street from me at the other side of the cross walk. I kind of waited for her to cross towards me and approached in the middle of the cross walk. I stopped her and called her cute, and she said thanks and continued walking so I turned around walked with her and asked the time. She said "oh its like 2" and started to turn away. I then said "one sec, one more thing" and asked for a barber shop near by. She said she didn't know, and kind of turned to walk away again and continue on her way. I said " one more thing, high 5?" and held up my hand. She gave it to me then I asked for another with the other hand and she gave me another hi 5.

This last approach was probably one of my more aggressive approaches. She definitely had somewhere she was going and I continued the approach not letting her leave until I finished. She was receptive, but not really available at the moment. In the end it all worked out.

Thoughts on Today
This drill took way too long overall, and @Manganiello pointed out to me that I had only been giving myself around 1hr-30 min before work to do approaches. Looking back there was another drill that took several days because I didn't give myself enough time to approach. I've been leaving it up to chance to find girls before work. But I could be trying harder and dedicating more time to approaching b4 work.

I thought on it some more and it boiled down to me getting comfortable with this routine. I'm pretty consistent with approaching almost every day, but that mindset had caused me to relax with my approaches. In my head i justified the day being ok because I had done a few approaches. "oh its fine, I got one or 2 in before work, that's better then no progress." But that's just an excuse.

Looking at my morning routine today really showed me what time I was wasting.
Woke up at 9, but got back in bed and didn't get up till ~945
drank coffee and did morning stuff till 1030
processed 3d printing stuff till 11
worked out till 12
ate breakfast, cooked work meal and got ready for work till 1
get to work at 130
AA approaches until 2

There's a whole hour and a half of wasted time. I don't feel like it needs to be approaches, but it could be used for more productive things other then just relaxing and waking up.

Other Shit
Weighed in at 186.3 - Still a few days till my goal date. I think ill hit it just fine.
Just waiting on my test results at this point. But I've planned some other stuff to prepare for future steps in the hiring process
Japanese Lay count -10

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sundleboro
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Sun Mar 28, 2021 5:10 am

Toast wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 10:47 pm
sundleboro wrote:
Sat Mar 27, 2021 5:49 pm
I guess the benefits are that when I overeat today, I know that I’m losing something (tomorrow’s calories). By actually eating less the next day or by intimidation, results in a lot faster weight loss for me.
That's definitely one way to compensate. Personally I don't like feeling hungry when I go to bed, so I don't think I could do this type of eating. Hunger pains suck ass.
They do but I found it a lot like the AA program, even before I started it. You suffer for one day, and then it’s easier to face afterwards. Every time I cut, I have to sit through the pain for one day at the start and go to bed without feeding it and then it gets easier from then on. Maybe it’s just a placebo. Helped me lose probably a lifetime total of 70-80 lbs tho
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