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The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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RogerRoger
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Wed Jul 14, 2021 2:03 pm

Crisis_Overcomer wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 11:28 am
Your problem is that you lack something you really want at the time.

Fact: If you really wanted to get laid a lot, you wouldn't have a motivation issue. That's OK by the way, I'm like that; I got periods where I want to get laid and periods where it's the last thing I wanna do.

Perhaps you can ask yourself what you want to be doing a year from today and what kind of behaviors you should follow on a daily basis for that goal. Personally, even though I'm spreading myself too thin with quite a few things, I'm slowly moving forward and I like it. I believe laser like focus is important when you're a newbie somewhere, but when you have broken through the initial hurdles, you can mix things up (especially if you don't have a burning desire for something)
I agreed with you for the most part until the last sentence. And now I'm thinking that if you don't have a burning desire, the goal should be developing that desire, envisioning how success will lead you to bigger and greater things.

That (and perhaps more importantly routine) is how I've kept up working ~non-stop.
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Manganiello
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Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:04 pm

RogerRoger wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 2:03 pm
I agreed with you for the most part until the last sentence. And now I'm thinking that if you don't have a burning desire, the goal should be developing that desire, envisioning how success will lead you to bigger and greater things.
I agree with this more.

I've done that where you hit a goal and then do a bunch of stuff.
It works but it's not as fun as coming up with an exciting goal for the here and now.

If I were in your shoes @Toast I would make creating an inspiring goal THE goal for now.

Still approach, but the #1 goal is getting inspired. That's always worked for me. It just takes some time.
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SamJ_
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Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:26 pm

Toast wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 8:49 am
Introspective day today

Did not have the motivation to go out and approach.

This morning I had work related business at 8am until 11pm. Went back to bed and slept until 1pm as to not fuck up my schedule for overnight shift.

I had ample time to go out and approach. I was awake at the normal time I go out and approach, but I just slacked off and hung out around the house watching YouTube and basically getting nothing productive done with the day. Only thing productive i did was fulfill some orders for my Esty business. This did not have to take so much time.

Something I came to realize while sitting around the house doing nothing is that I think I've become somewhat complacent because I have my first girl who is willing to come over to fuck basically on a weekly basis now. I've gone on like 4 or so dates with this chick and we've hooked up twice now. We get along and she seems like she will stick around for a while now. She seems into me.

I also had a date with an Asian chick yesterday, but I did not really feel the pressure to make a move since she was a little bit uglier without her mask on and I had just gotten laid the night before this date. The pressure of wanting sex was not there to motivate me.

This made me realize that I have become complacent with where I am because I have had a small amount of success so far with a few girls. This is not good. Again I'm falling into the trap of putting all my eggs in one basket. Lets say I fuck something up with my plate and she bails on me. Then what, I'm back to square one and have no consistent sex.

I don't want this to happen. Being lazy today inadvertently made me come to the realization that I need to change my attitude. As well as reevaluate my goals,

@Manganiello said to me "people are not lazy, they just don't have a goal then want to work towards"
and that resonated with me because that's exactly the situation I'm in. I don't think that I'm a lazy person. I've been working hard for 6 months to get to where i am now. The motivating factor was having a tangible goal. Finishing AA, Getting Laid through cold approach, 500 cold approaches, getting a plate.

I have achieved my goals for now. I got laid through cold approach, I have a chick I can have sex with on the regular, I am able to cold approach when I want to with little to no issue.

So what's next for me? I need to some up with a problem for me to tackle. I guess I'm goal oriented. Maybe didn't realize it until now.

So I'm writing this post almost as a way to work through my thoughts and feeling as well as get others opinions on the matter.

Some goals I have thought for myself are:

+50 approaches 4x per week
1 New lay every 2 weeks
10 total cold approach Lays
Fuck an Asian chick who is 8/10
2nd plate

But idk if these are things that are enough to motivate me. I've thought about these goals before so it might not be.
I literally crafted the perfect schedule for approach, as well as got great logistics and location for pulling chicks home. I'm squandering my actions because I'm not motivated.

Maybe it is something more to do with begin consistent and setting up a routine then to do with needing drive. i need to make it a habit to go out and approach, rather then something i need to motivate myself to do. Just like going to the gym.

Ill state it here and now that tomorrow I will go out and approach and try to hit 50 approaches. Stating this every day is not a solution to the problem in my mind.
It's cool that you're able to be so introspective about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a day off of approaching here and there if you're content with what you've got, but sounds like you definitely need to take your own advice you gave me about not putting all your eggs in one basket or you could end up like me, where the girl wants to fuck in 15 minutes and then one seemingly minor thing I say makes her cut me out of her life. There was no indication that would happen at all for me either, and she actually told me she would understand any reason for me changing my mind and any circumstance I was going through. So if you think a girl is gonna stay in your life, you could very well be wrong, especially if you've only known her a few weeks.
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Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1106
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Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
Location: Tokyo
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Wed Jul 14, 2021 10:22 pm

Crisis_Overcomer wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 11:28 am
Your problem is that you lack something you really want at the time.

Fact: If you really wanted to get laid a lot, you wouldn't have a motivation issue. That's OK by the way, I'm like that; I got periods where I want to get laid and periods where it's the last thing I wanna do.

Perhaps you can ask yourself what you want to be doing a year from today and what kind of behaviors you should follow on a daily basis for that goal. Personally, even though I'm spreading myself too thin with quite a few things, I'm slowly moving forward and I like it. I believe laser like focus is important when you're a newbie somewhere, but when you have broken through the initial hurdles, you can mix things up (especially if you don't have a burning desire for something)
Missed this reply when I quoted @Manganiello

Yah ur totally right. I think currently in the short term I do lack something that I really want right now.

Thats why I'm trying to re-evaluate what I want in the short term while working towards my long term goal.

Japan is the long term. It has to be because I'm so overly obsessed with thinking about it at this point. Like a Japan thought comes into me head like every day.

So that really seals the deal for the long term. Now I gotta focuz on what to do in the mean time. How to build up to that goal.
Japanese Lay count -10

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Toast
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Wed Jul 14, 2021 10:28 pm

RogerRoger wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 2:03 pm
the goal should be developing that desire
Sage advice my man. Thanks.

I think that now that I'm aware that I'm lacking i can really focus and create that goal for myself.

@SamJ_ Yes, you are totally correct in thinking I need to take my own advice. No matter how well things seem on the surface, everything could go to shit and I could end up with nothing.

I am happy right now, but that's not what I envisioned in the beginning. My signature says 10lays. Why stop along the path when I got 2. I got sidetracked cuz having sex is nice lol.

-----

Thanks everyone for the advice. Thinking out loud here really helps.

I believe I now know what I need to do. Or a lease a small step in the right direction.
Japanese Lay count -10

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Master
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Wed Jul 14, 2021 10:44 pm

Toast wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 10:28 pm
I am happy right now, but that's not what I envisioned in the beginning. My signature says 10lays. Why stop along the path when I got 2. I got sidetracked cuz having sex is nice lol.
Yeah good shit on staying accountable Toast, it helped you understand what should be your long term goal (Japan) and now you can focus on finding short ones.

Sex def feels good, it kind of kills your motivation and I even caught myself slacking in the last 2 weeks in some areas because "muh I have what I want why should I bother" but NO. Like you when I started I saw the big picture and I wont settle for less because I feel fine. Reach for higher heights, always.
I wonder why you aint into lifting more, you know more than anyone (as far as I can tell) about training in general. I know you are training right now but shy not make it your objective now that you are super lean. Bulk up, womens love it!

Stay hard brother wherever it may be 💪🍆 no homo
Short term goals
[*] Take awesome tinder photos ✅
[*] Reach 175lbs (currently 178)
[*] 5 lays by the end 2021 (12/5) ✅
[*] 20 lays by the end 2021 (12/20)


Long term goals
[*] Beat AA program (Started June 5)
[*] 10-12% bodyfat
[*] 25 Lifetime Lays (15/30)
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Toast
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Thu Jul 15, 2021 2:50 am

Master wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 10:44 pm
muh I have what I want why should I bother
Definitely had this mindset. It's not good. I'm trying to work myself out of it.
You're right about working out as well. I've been slacking on that front for a while now. Its another aspect where I reached a goal and stopped. Thanks for pointing that out.

I don't want to make excuses so I'm going to just say what I need to do to change.

I have the time to workout. Havent really found a great spot to approach at after 7pm. So I could workout out at that time.

--------

I want my day to look like this:

Work until 7 am
Sleep until 2pm (reduce that down to 1pm)
Approach from 3-7pm (maybe 30min break for lunch in between)
-> +50 approaches 4x per week
8-9pm workout
10 pm leave for work.

1hour of Japanese bookwork while at work. Anki Flash Cards, Wanikani Kanji Practice

This all seems very doable in my mind.
Japanese Lay count -10

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Toast
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Thu Jul 15, 2021 2:59 am

Today I actually felt like approaching. Talking about shit yesterday helped motivate me.

Got to my spot at 4 approached until 5. Went 0/12. Not disappointed in the slightest. It is a good baseline to build upon with the new mentality I'm trying to cultivate. Just a stepping stone towards becoming better.

Positives for the day were that I was taking action and not letting myself bitch out.

Started the day with the thought of approaching the first hot girl I saw. Walked through the mall towards Zara since it's a spawning ground. Saw a cute Asian pair in the store. Walked in, hesitated, walked out. Thought to myself "WTF u said the FIRST hot girls u saw." So I turned around and approached them. She was only in town till tomorrow. I am happy I didn't bitch out. A good approach in my mind.

This kind of approach happened several times today. I was second-guessing myself a lot but wouldn't let the opportunity pass. I am happy I am able to catch myself. Something I can do to improve is to think less though. Gotta approach on a hair trigger.

My skills have dulled because of my lack of consistent approaching.

Consistency is key. I have to think back on why I was successful in the past. I was only able to do the AA program because i was so consistent. I created time for approaches ever day. Even if it was an hour or minuets. I integrated it into my daily life. I need to do the same for approaches. if i see a hot chick, approach. It doesn't have to be during my block of approach time.

Tomorrow I will do better.

---------

Edit:

Here's what i did today to work towards changing my habits

[❌]Sleep until 2pm (reduce that down to 1pm) - Woke up at 3
[❌]Approach from 3-7pm (maybe 30min break for lunch in between) - Approached at 4pm for 1 hour
[❌]8-9pm workout
[⭕] 1 HR of Japanese book work
[⭕] Anki Flash Cards and WaniKani
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
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Toast
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Fri Jul 16, 2021 3:09 am

4/30-35 approaches over like 2 hours.

Woke up at 2pm today feeling motivated to go out and approach. Keep the streak going. Wanting to do better than yesterday and having a new insight as to why I'm doing this helps. Didn't futz around the house for long. Brushed my teef, showered, and shitted. Watched youtube for like 15 min to unwind and wake up for a coffee and I was out of the house by 3pm on the road to approach.

Went to a spot I've had success at before. Went 1/10 there in 30 min. The volume was decent but there was a lot of walking around with no approach. Sparse for my liking. As I was leaving I had the thought that maybe I'm not spending enough time here. I saw a few approachable women as I was driving away. always seems to be like that when ur driving.

Got to my other good spot and the volume was way better than yesterday. Probably one encounter per 5 ish min. Some irregular gaps in between while walking around. But that's normal at a big mall when transitioning floors. felt like I was approaching with regularity. First 15 min felt like 1 approach per min. Very good. Slowed down a bit after that. Volume here was 20-25 for sure. Possible more but I like to underestimate. 1/10 contacts is somewhat normal.

Interesting interaction today as well. Most responsive duo I've ever approached.
Pair of hot blonde white chicks. One is dressed in a crop top tank top. IDK what they're actually called. Basically, a tanktop bra with hella mid-drift showing. She has some nice big tits. Her friend was also very hot, but more petite. I'm trying to score a chick with big tits so I went after the busty one. Approach, call her cute and don't even look at the friend at all. Only talk to the one i approached. Ask how her days going. Her friend is just smiling standing back watching this happen. The friend then says "ask for her number" while giggling. So I do, just straight up say let me get ur number and we can get coffee some time. She's like ok sure, while smiling herself. we talk for a little bit more, and her friend introduces her self to me. this was funny cuz i was still only talking to the one girl i approached.

I've never had a duo be this receptive, as well as a friend encourage her to exchange contacts. Just goes to show that duos can be amazing and u just gotta take the chance.

Heres the kicker. We exchange, I text her my name. She texts back maybe 30 min later saying it was nice to meet me. And then she texts back again asking what I'm doing tomorrow. This hasn't happened before. Pretty much still expect her to ghost since it's such a positive interaction lol. I told her I'm not up to much tomorrow. Now just waiting on the response.

Today was much better. Slowly feeling more motivated to approach. Im also increasing my volume slightly as well. Still trying to work up to 50 per session. I find myself only ever skipping 1 maybe 2 approaches in a day. And i also find myself holding my standards higher. Like i wont approach a chick whos semi attractive just to get my numbers up. Seems like cheating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Habits i'm trying to work on

[⭕]Wake up at 2pm
[⭕]Approach from 3-7 pm - Approached from 330-630 including driving time. Pretty close so ill count it.
[❌]8-9 pm workout - Ate Curry instead and took a nap
[⭕] 1 HR of Japanese bookwork
[⭕] Anki Flash Cards and WaniKani
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
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RogerRoger
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Sat Jul 17, 2021 6:12 am

Toast wrote:
Fri Jul 16, 2021 3:09 am
Still trying to work up to 50 per session.
125 a session is more like it ;)

Also super cool about the duo. I've had one time the friends were super encouraging (although it was unfortunately a warm-up rep I wasn't interested in) and that definitely makes it more fun.

From what I recall you're based in SF. I'll be back home (just south of sonoma) in maybe 2-3 weeks. How's pier 39 been for you? I feel like that would be fun with all the tourists but it's been a while since I've been in SF. Anyway, if you're in that area we should hit the bars/clubs sometime.
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Toast
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Sat Jul 17, 2021 7:44 am

RogerRoger wrote:
Sat Jul 17, 2021 6:12 am
Toast wrote:
Fri Jul 16, 2021 3:09 am
Still trying to work up to 50 per session.
125 a session is more like it ;)

Also super cool about the duo. I've had one time the friends were super encouraging (although it was unfortunately a warm-up rep I wasn't interested in) and that definitely makes it more fun.

From what I recall you're based in SF. I'll be back home (just south of sonoma) in maybe 2-3 weeks. How's pier 39 been for you? I feel like that would be fun with all the tourists but it's been a while since I've been in SF. Anyway, if you're in that area we should hit the bars/clubs sometime.
Yah I'm in SF. If u know the spot with volume like that please let me know. I tried pier 39 one time. Had a fuck load of people, but it seemed like mostly families and not hot chicks I would approach. Maybe I went in with the wrong sort of view as to what was approachable. Should try again some time.

I'm down to meet up some time if ur in the area. My work schedule doesn't really allow me to hit the bars unless its a Sunday or I cut out early cuz I start work at 10pm.
Japanese Lay count -10

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Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1106
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
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Location: Tokyo
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Sat Jul 17, 2021 8:03 am

Lazy day today. No approach

That's not to say it wasn't somewhat productive.

Basically spent a lot of today just thinking about Japan logistics.

Started filling out paperwork for applying for a student visa for Japan. Prospective date to fly over would most likely be April of next year. Need to get my finances in order for self sponsor or convince my mom to let me just use her bank account for the paperwork so I look good.

Goal would be to hopefully save $250 per week so that come April I have 20k in the bank and would fully be able to self sponsor for a year.

-Tuition for 1 year of school is around ¥800,000 ($~7200 USD). Got that locked down
-Apartments can rage from $400-$600 per month. So another ~$7200 on rent. Would like to score a really dirt cheap place to live. I would possibly live in a share house, but idk what the policies for having guests over and clappin cheeks would be. Probably not allowed lol.
-Food, Transportation, cellphone and health insurance are another factor I need to look into to see how much it costs
-Students can work a maximum of 28hrs per week on a student visa. A remote job paying $20 per hr USD would alleviate a lot of financial stress. Not sure if this counts towards the 28 per hour as a student on a visa
-Plan for after the student visa is also up in the air. A bachelors degree makes life much easier to get a working visa but i don't have one. I also don't wanna go back to school. There's several other options i need to look into. But that's farther in the future and probably only adds to the confusion.


There's a lot of stuff I need to research, but money is always the root of the problem. Still gunna try to go over no matter what at this point.

____________________________________________________________________________

[❌Wake up at 2pm - Woke up at 3 :/
[❌]Approach from 3-7 pm - Didn't Approach :/
[❌]8-9 pm workout - Ate Curry instead
[⭕] 1 HR of Japanese bookwork
[⭕] Anki Flash Cards and WaniKani
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
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RogerRoger
Posts: 431 | Thanks: 339
Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:40 pm
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Age: 30
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Location: Europe

Sun Jul 18, 2021 5:02 pm

Toast wrote:
Sat Jul 17, 2021 7:44 am
RogerRoger wrote:
Sat Jul 17, 2021 6:12 am


125 a session is more like it ;)

Also super cool about the duo. I've had one time the friends were super encouraging (although it was unfortunately a warm-up rep I wasn't interested in) and that definitely makes it more fun.

From what I recall you're based in SF. I'll be back home (just south of sonoma) in maybe 2-3 weeks. How's pier 39 been for you? I feel like that would be fun with all the tourists but it's been a while since I've been in SF. Anyway, if you're in that area we should hit the bars/clubs sometime.
Yah I'm in SF. If u know the spot with volume like that please let me know. I tried pier 39 one time. Had a fuck load of people, but it seemed like mostly families and not hot chicks I would approach. Maybe I went in with the wrong sort of view as to what was approachable. Should try again some time.

I'm down to meet up some time if ur in the area. My work schedule doesn't really allow me to hit the bars unless its a Sunday or I cut out early cuz I start work at 10pm.
Fair enough about pier 39 being families; I was thinking it'd be a lot of tourist girls but maybe not so much. I grew up in the bay area but haven't really hit the city that much as an adult.

Sounds like we'll be doing daygame then
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Toast
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Mon Jul 19, 2021 3:28 am

RogerRoger wrote:
Sun Jul 18, 2021 5:02 pm
I was thinking it'd be a lot of tourist girls but maybe not so much. I grew up in the bay area but haven't really hit the city that much as an adult.
Exactly my thoughts as well. It's possible that it could have a good amount of tourist girls but when i went it was families. Ghiradelli square seemed to be a better spot too and not as far
Japanese Lay count -10

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Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1106
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
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Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:19 pm

[⭕]Sleep until 2pm (reduce that down to 1pm) - fuckin woke up at 7 am on my off day 😫
[❌]Approach from 3-7pm (maybe 30min break for lunch in between) - Haven't approached in a couple of days
[❌]8-9pm workout - Still haven't started. TBH not a huge priority rn
[⭕] 1 HR of Japanese book work - Probably did 2-3 hours or more of workbook pg 38/150 completed
[⭕] Anki Flash Cards and WaniKani - very consistently doing these every day
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
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