Thrice log. How to deal with a bad date

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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SpongeBob
Posts: 300 | Thanks: 216
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Sat May 13, 2023 4:44 pm

Thrice wrote:
Sat May 13, 2023 3:19 pm
this girl avoiding eye contact as soon as she got close enough fearing she would give me unwanted ioi's
If it can make you feel any better, that's just how it happens to me 95% of the time as well.

It's not against you per se. They're just protecting themselves from weirdos.

But I don't think I can convince you in any deep level. I also do think that you need professional help
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natedawg
Posts: 879 | Thanks: 221
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Social Life
Age: 35
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Sat May 13, 2023 4:53 pm

Thrice wrote:
Sat May 13, 2023 3:19 pm
today was my rest day so i don't have workout, planned many things to do, many daily tasks, i bought new phone and new sim for tinder, looked for new clothes, another tasks was to record a vocal cover of some metal/rock song, i was crossing the street and all it took was this girl avoiding eye contact as soon as she got close enough fearing she would give me unwanted ioi's

i just realized today that i might not make it without professional help, there must be more going no, i can't just be a normal blackpill/doomer, i started feeling so much anger inside, my legs started shaking, my face got tense, it was pure hell

i don't feel accepeted by woman and don't feel a normal member of society, can't live in a society where i'm treated like that by half the population. What hurts the most is that those same delicate girls that work hard to avoid eye contact have insta sex dates with good looking guys from tinder, so if i was handsome this would never happened

unfortunately i think i need professional help, i don't feel well and i feel so much emotional pain. I think i was damaged really bad growing up and now i can't function normally
Nothing wrong with needing professional help. Admitting it is the first step, and many men don't even make it that far.

A house can't be built on a shaky foundation. No amount of tinder pics, gym, etc. can fix a broken mental.

I think a great goal to set from here is to find a good therapist. There are also sites like www.betterhelp.com that could be a valuable resource.
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
almost30
Posts: 203 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 3:11 pm
Goal: Get very hot girls
Age: 69
Motto: Nothing in moderation

Sat May 13, 2023 5:34 pm

I am happy that you realized this yourself because it means that you will likely take action. Please don't be shy about seeking therapy or whatever else you need! I fully agree with natedawg that "a great goal to set from here is to find a good therapist."
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Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Sat May 13, 2023 11:03 pm

natedawg wrote:
Sat May 13, 2023 4:53 pm
Nothing wrong with needing professional help. Admitting it is the first step, and many men don't even make it that far.
I guess that's the truth, thank you Nate
MattsCrib wrote:
Sat May 13, 2023 6:56 pm
No, not always. Some do, for sure. I'm a decent looking musician. I'm in the same situation as you are.
what kind of situation? What's your height?
almost30 wrote:
Sat May 13, 2023 5:34 pm
I am happy that you realized this yourself because it means that you will likely take action. Please don't be shy about seeking therapy or whatever else you need! I fully agree with natedawg that "a great goal to set from here is to find a good therapist."
Where have you been?
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
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Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Sat May 13, 2023 11:31 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Sat May 13, 2023 11:15 pm
Slghtly above average in the world, average-ish in my country, but taller than the majority of girls. I see guys that are shorter than me get girls. For guys like you and me it's not only about looks anymore.
ok i asked because you're 61kg, I'm trying to get abs and at 67kg i still don't see them because I'm about 6ft but not thick/muscular enough
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
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Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Sun May 14, 2023 10:48 pm

Decide to take a break, i will keep working out, i will try to out on weekends and approach, will try to control my emotions/anger when girls avoid eye contact

Will look for professional help, will have to look very well and so my research so i don't end up with a therapist that wants to turn me into a feminist because wanting to have sex is toxic

No need to share my mental damage, will only update when i complete an entire task, for example is i get 6 or 7 tinder pics, if i approach a girl and fuck her, stuff like that. No need for small updates when I'm not really going nowhere

Thank you and see you soon! ☺️💪🏾
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
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natedawg
Posts: 879 | Thanks: 221
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Social Life
Age: 35
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Mon May 15, 2023 12:49 am

Thrice wrote:
Sun May 14, 2023 10:48 pm
Decide to take a break, i will keep working out, i will try to out on weekends and approach, will try to control my emotions/anger when girls avoid eye contact

Will look for professional help, will have to look very well and so my research so i don't end up with a therapist that wants to turn me into a feminist because wanting to have sex is toxic

No need to share my mental damage, will only update when i complete an entire task, for example is i get 6 or 7 tinder pics, if i approach a girl and fuck her, stuff like that. No need for small updates when I'm not really going nowhere

Thank you and see you soon! ☺️💪🏾
I don't agree with going away completely. Even those little updates are good just for general accountability to yourself.

I also understand that you gotta do what you gotta do to protect your mental, though.

Just try to stay as close to the fire as you can, so you don't get left in the cold.
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
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Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Wed May 31, 2023 6:49 am

Group support, accountability, tracking metrics and internalising principles of success greatly increases likelihood of success.

Some leave the forum, grind, come back and win.

But they're the exception, rather than the rule.

Showing up. Doing the work honestly and effectively, sharing, fine-tuning, and course correcting, is a proven path for success, especially for hardcases.

As a hardcase, you can't trust your brain, you have really poor conditioning and have not yet internalised the correct mindsets and principles for success that will be what will save you in the end.

We turn away from the forum, out of pain, because we're hurt, and it is a threat to our identity and deeply held beliefs - about ourselves, about women, about the world......

JUST when we are about to make a meaningful breakthrough, we leave

This is called "self sabotage"

Your ego defense mechanism.

I think a big piece of the puzzle that many guys miss, that causes inconsistency, is the lack of a real life vision and plan. Because they do not have a deeply evocative and meaningful picture of where they want to be, when it gets tough, they fold.

I think for you, Mo, you need to take the time to really nail down what it is what you want, who you want to be, and where you want to go in the future.

I did this in my log, it's saved on the first post. Having this down, it gave me no way to stop.

I don't blame you for wanting to take a break and get away. I also have moments when I want to bury my head in the sand and just be done with it.

One thing I've learned in life, is that success will only really happen if you are able to pick yourself up off the concrete when your head is splattered on the pavement. It will only really happen if you can be broken down to almost nothing, and find something inside to say "I have chosen this hill. I will die here" and make the 1-second decision to just another step.

IMO, guys who are struggling to break through, need more systems, more processes, more accountability, and more support. There is a reason I was not actually making any meaningful progress, until enough was enough and I began working with Andy 2 years ago. Of course, now, I am going to be a success story in life. But I actually needed that. You will benefit a lot from getting more meaningful support. In your case, therapy, I think is going to support you in getting further along the line.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Zug
Posts: 667 | Thanks: 360
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 5:43 pm
Goal: Find a wife
Age: 41
Motto: Strength before weakness

Wed May 31, 2023 7:12 am

I agree with what MAC and Nate said, but uhh....I did the opposite too. I also found it really hard to create updates when nothing meaningful happened. There was a long long period I was doing work with almost nothing to show for it. Worked on getting new pics, all sucked. Swiped everywhere, 1 match, no reply to opener. Did all my workouts, lost 0.4 lbs that week. There were A LOT of weeks like that. Solution for me was talking with my accountability partner more instead of posting. Going pure solo would have been bad. I had very few problems committing to what I was doing, but posting shitty updates just made me feel like a loser.

Find someone you can talk to about your goals that's actually in your corner and understand them. I found one good therapist, but he didn't understand ANY of my goals and as good as he was it was useless.
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Wed May 31, 2023 7:18 am

Zug wrote:
Wed May 31, 2023 7:12 am
I agree with what MAC and Nate said, but uhh....I did the opposite too. I also found it really hard to create updates when nothing meaningful happened. There was a long long period I was doing work with almost nothing to show for it. Worked on getting new pics, all sucked. Swiped everywhere, 1 match, no reply to opener. Did all my workouts, lost 0.4 lbs that week. There were A LOT of weeks like that. Solution for me was talking with my accountability partner more instead of posting. Going pure solo would have been bad. I had very few problems committing to what I was doing, but posting shitty updates just made me feel like a loser.

Find someone you can talk to about your goals that's actually in your corner and understand them. I found one good therapist, but he didn't understand ANY of my goals and as good as he was it was useless.
Totally agree man.

That's a core tenet of mine, obviously, hence IronWill.

You had a system in place and, importantly, actual accountability.

You, hence, made superb progress and now are back and on track for elite.

Which is what we all expect from you.

100% achievable

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Thu Jun 22, 2023 3:16 pm

So, after having a couple of emotional breakdowns, the one after seeing girls in the street avoiding eye contact and ended up cutting myself, and another after trying tinder with my 2 best pictures with zero matches after hundred of swipes, i've decided to change antidepressant, i don't to take SSRI's anymore because they kill libido, now i'm taking Wellbutrin which the only antidepressant in the market that boosts libido instead of lowering it

found a way to wake up early, i'm using an app

i have also created an instagram page, the only two pictures i have actually suck, i look sad and out of touch, but i have to start somewhere, i'm using instagram right now to find some guy that wants to hang out on weekends and take pictures, so far i found at least one guy that seems cool

Another problem is that i don't have a good jawline anymore because everytime i have an emotional breakdown i overeat, it sucks because i get so close to full abs and binge on feel good carbs

this is another problem that Wellbutrin will solve because it kills appetite, today i actually had a hard time reaching 1500kcal

bought air force one, now just ordered nike dunk high and converse, the goal is to take good pictures after losing 4/5 pounds and getting good jawline back, pictures looking cool/popular/happy not sad and uncomfortable like i always looked till now

now i need something to do everyday, the most important thing is to find friends and join a social circle, the usual advice is "join a club", i don't know but it seems to me this is the wrost advice ever, only lonely boomers join clubs, i will find a cool guy and a cool social circle like that

my strategy right now is to create a cool instagram page and add people and actually ask them if they want to go out, if the page is cool and the pcitures are cool instagram will start suggesting me to local girls and local guys that actually like to go out

i don't know what to do everyday to keep myself busy, any advice is welcome

edit: example of cool happy guy

https://www.instagram.com/saviodechiara/?hl=en

but i have to be honest, i don't have the balls to take pictures on my own

edit2:

i want to add something i forgot, from now i will dress like a sexy/happy guy everyday, not just to take pictures.
This is my attempt to take ownership and responsibility, if girls avoid eye contact it's also my fault, i dress llike shit to go to work. Will post pictures of my daily outfists, edgy and stylish everyday baby
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
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Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Thu Jun 22, 2023 4:19 pm

FUCK YES

So, Wellbutrin is the only f**king drug I've heard good things about. This, is positive news!

I'd say, you would do well to take classes, join a club, and be part of a group.

You need to be accepted and part of a community that values you.

Man, pages of models and shit on IG, I just looked at that dude, and gave no fucks. Some of these dudes are literal retards. They don't matter. No man is better than another man in this world. Believe me. People are just people. They are apes. Nothing special at all. The world is full of successful people who, honestly, aren't much at all. Dont believe the hype. I have several friends with 10 million plus net worth, one is more of an acquaintance but we're cool, he will advise me now and then, and he is coming on my podcast soon - dude's net worth is between 10 - 50 mil I would guess, fucks models regularly, lay count is probably close to 1,000 and he is just a dude like anyone else. Just smart, works hard, and dreams big.

Your real problem, is isolation, lack of meaningful socialiation, lack of deep and fulfilling social bonds and friendships, and that is what needs healing imo

Johan Hari ha a book called Lost Connections, the sociological roots of mental illness. You should real that.

Ravi
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Thu Jun 22, 2023 5:31 pm

MakingAComeback wrote:
Thu Jun 22, 2023 4:19 pm
I'd say, you would do well to take classes, join a club, and be part of a group.
Thanks Mac!
Hope Wellbutrin work, already like the appetite suppression aspect, can't wait to reveal my abs


I'm trying instagram game for now because I'm not really into classes and clubs, i used to do jiu-jitsu, good guys, half of them are over 40, the most exiting thing they do on weekends is grab a beer, I'm not interested at all, no young girls, no guys that want to go out on weekends to actually approach, not to grab a beer on a pub with people in their 50's

Unless i find clubs and classes with the target people I'm looking for i will try with instagram and tinder

Right now i really would like just to go out and get young girls and get this phase out of my system, not really interested is something that does not help reach this goal, like a jiu-jitsu class for example. If it was full of young people it would be ok but in my area it's not
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
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Age: 32
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Thu Jun 22, 2023 5:38 pm

Bro its more that, you need to normalise your mind

You are mentally ill dude

Like, no girl is "avoiding eye contact"

That is your mental illness

I had similar shit back in the day

You have to heal, and people and friendship, is part of becoming mentally healthy

Chasing young girls, is great. I hit on them daily, have numbers in my phone of hot Uni students, and hustle to get them on date and such. Thats part of life. That, brings with it, a WHOLE LOT of challenges and also suffering.

You need mental health or you have f**k all
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Squilliam
Posts: 2067 | Thanks: 362
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:57 am
Goal: Be happy
Age: 24
Motto: Pain is temporary. Greatness lasts forever

Thu Jun 22, 2023 5:41 pm

Thrice wrote:
Thu Jun 22, 2023 5:31 pm
I'm trying instagram game for now because I'm not really into classes and clubs, i used to do jiu-jitsu, good guys, half of them are over 40, the most exiting thing they do on weekends is grab a beer, I'm not interested at all, no young girls, no guys that want to go out on weekends to actually approach, not to grab a beer on a pub with people in their 50's

Unless i find clubs and classes with the target people I'm looking for i will try with instagram and tinder
At your level you should not focus on Instagram. You should work on moving somewhere else if there aren't many young girls in your area. And is there any reason you can't go out approaching on your own? But if you move to a bigger city I'm sure you can find guys in Italy who approach. Isn't daygame more common in Europe than in America?

And you could probably use some therapy too tbh.
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/

- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~350/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
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