Thrice log. How to deal with a bad date

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MakingAComeback
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Sat Jan 28, 2023 8:14 am

tdan187 wrote:
Sat Jan 28, 2023 7:00 am
Squilliam wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 2:15 pm

Denying the blackpill is denying reality. Yeah it's unproductive to ruminate on but I agree with Crisis. Being a white guy in America is far easier than the situation that Thrice is in. He's an arab living in Italy I think he said?

I think it's easy to take for granted the racial advantage. Dating might not be easy for anybody, but being non-white makes it even harder. Racism is a pretty pervasive thing in modern society believe it or not, even if it's not always super overt.

Race plays into looks and overall SMV, and how women will perceive you. Being white makes things a lot easier, that's just a fact. At least in western countries.
It just doesn't matter though.

At the end of the day, all that matters is what helps you, not someone else, get what you want.

Is it unfair? Definitely. How does it help though?

You gotta start believing in you, not in some other dude who is better and has it easier in whatever X way. You aren't them. You are you.

That's how you start to think when you are playing to win. If you want it bad, then find a way. Doesn't matter if it's harder for you or not. You gotta find a way.
Really good post.

And thank you for the kind words above, bro, I really appreciate it.

Ultimately, this is the attitude - regardless of difficulty, challenges, or disadvantages, just do whatever it takes to get success.

Dates, pulls, lays, for me are annoyingly difficult. That's an archetype thing. There are SOME women out there who would feel attraction for men like me. I'm not going to say it's a lot, it's not at all. But they ARE out there. The way I see it, it's my job to find them, and to explore whatever can be explored between us.

Nuance is really important and its why King Crisis highlighted this.

We're NOT shitting on you dude, OK? That is never going to happen. You know me, and you know I would never treat a brother of the community in that way.

What we're saying is, the path for some males, is quite complicated, multifaceted, and may be a multi-year process of us working with that person and trying different things. We are willing to make the commitment and we will back these men, 100%. But, it isn't as simple as, just back yourself and keep talking to girls. It isn't as simple as "of course you can bang attractive girls bro just go for it bro".

Whilst the winners mindset is MISSION CRITICAL.........

THE WINNERS MINDSET IS A ROADMAP

FOR SOME, THAT ROADMAP IS A PLEASANT DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD

FOR OTHERS, IT IS TRAVERSING FUCKING MORDOR


That is where we can take issue with it. Because even with the winners mindset, some guys will have to go deeper into themselves, require a lot of compassion and kindness, and really manage their expectations.

Some guys have to max themselves out. For some, just getting in shape won't cut it. It didn't for me. These guys will have to objective measures of an excellent body.

Some guys will have to restructure their life and move. I had to. In most parts of England, my nation, I am not really what a woman would desire. And I completely respect it. That's their choice. I will get my biz right, get on a plane, and move. Their loss. I will still be a great man for the right woman one day.

Some guys will need to learn game, fix their vibe, and learn to become a far more attractive personalities. I had to. All but 1 of my lays required straight-up game, and had I know been taught this (Rags2Bitches, Pancakemouse, The Dom mentored me here) I'd have never gotten the experiences I needed. They were all on a knife edge and did require me to play some great moves and really make the stars align. It was fucking annoyingly hard.

And then, there is the majority of the forum, 95% of guys.


There are many men who are at a sufficient level of SMV that they don't have to go down the route of the warrior, extreme grinding and basically the absolute rewriting of the soul and psyche. Very few would have survived my journey so far, very few.

There are MAJOR signs you're not low SMV. If you can get attraction from a chick - you're not low SMV. The SMP is not going to be a challenge for you, you can get laid, not necessarily much of grind at all tbh. If your matches are attractive, if they're receptive, if you can sleep with "hot" girls, you just aren't a low SMV person. You certainly may FEEL that way, have very significant challenges of the mind, and of your beliefs, and past trauma, sure. But the market decides, and it has already decided in your favour. The dating game isn't inherently against you, rather, it is rigged for you to win. End of story.

Low SMV guys can be ked astray because so few have understanding of the deep truths of hardcase, low SMV transformation, which is truly a process of burning everything about a person down to ash, and forging something again, but this time, out of raw steel.

It isn't necessarily useful advice to say to someone, man, it's all in your head, you can fuck hot girls - no homie, that isn't necessarily as cut and dry as that. A guy can grind away, really hard, for a year plus and not even get a sniff of that. And then he is going to fucking self-destruct. Giving people unrealistic expectations is a recipe to destroy that person.

Rather, we build them up over time IMO.

Embedding the winners mindset is mission critical, as I said, and equally:

JUST getting dates with any type of chick is a MAJOR win.

JUST getting a lay, MAJOR WIN.

These guys need to heal and normalise, and recover from their shitstorm life.

Getting traction for the lower SMV male is not a simple process, and it takes world-class resilience and sheer hustler spirit.

90% of my interactions with ladies in clubs, just normal looking chicks, are over within 1 second. Hard deflection. Cold approach is actually better than that for me, but is a true skill and fine art, that I am improving at, but is still very telling....1000+ approaches last year, nothing. If you look at how many dates of mine pull, and how many lay, it's 1 in 10. It took 100+ dates in 2022 to get 9 lays. And this was still worth it BY FAR. It was fucking AWESOME and I loved it.

Many of us tried and tested the conventional wisdom to insane lengths. This is not a time for theory, we have the data, and we have established this at this point.

Again, I say that with love, because I am here to serve, share, and facilitate growth.

Take home point:

Certain guys just need to be eased into the SMP, developed, nurtured, and allowed to bloom over time. It is not useful to tell these guys they can get hotties. Sure, they have a shot, we all do. But likelihood is, they will need to spend quite some time levelling up and grinding hard in self improvement...

Approach after approach.

Date after date.

Gym session after gym session, with perfect diet, in bed at 1030pm latest, just building a fucking stud body.

Levelling up and becoming more successful.

Photoshoot after photoshoot, nailing a great profile.

All of this shit has to converge for some guys, it is a fucking ass buster, and it also takes TIME. This takes FAITH. I have to just gut up, work my ass off, and just pray my future improves. All the while, I get shit shovelled in my face consistently, dating is legit grim and like pulling teeth, the effort level is just fucked. And that's the game for me here, at my level. I have to just brainwash myself into believing if I get jacked, and hit certain measurements in my bodyparts, I CAN find someone who will be worthwhile. This situation takes extreme mental toughness because terrain is fricken hostile.

Wanna know how I survive it?

I am surrounded by my boys, who know the SMP deeply, who are constantly affirming me, backing me, believing in me, and just brainwashing me into success by telling me, dude if you keep working hard and stick at it, it WILL pay off. So I wake up, understand the mission, and bust my damn ass EVERY DAY, and am prepared to for as many years as it takes, and whatever the fuck I have to do.

Coaching these guys through this specific experience is a fine art, and requires patience, persistence, and just listening to them and supporting them.

We can facilitate a space for them and we CAN get them over the line. And we can respectfully agree to disagree, its cool man, its not a big thing, we can just share and listen to each other, and respect it. We're still friends regardless of any views, OK?

Mohamad can make it. He will have to put in some work, though, and that's fine. Everything good in life requires it.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
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Thrice
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Name: Mohamed
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Location: Italy

Sat Jan 28, 2023 4:35 pm

workout today and practiced some photography again, i have found a super isoleted area, i just hope i don't die there it's next to a river hahah
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september
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Sun Jan 29, 2023 3:56 pm

Gj finding a better area and lighting conditions (ideally we have no shadow at all by picking either an overcast day or golden hour)

however
september wrote:
Fri Jan 27, 2023 6:36 pm
your next biggest improvement is going to come from smiling or at the least having a softer relaxed facial expression
you didnt listen (well actually maybe you did a bit, you look a little softer)

this isnt really a "nice to have", it's mandatory. it's the line between you scaring everyone off by looking like a handsome psycho, versus being a sexy handsome friendly guy that you're already capable of being

its better to have a shitty selfie of you smiling than a super crisp dslr of mean mugging the camera

if you're finding it hard to smile or soften your face then its even more important to work on this - you will have much better date performance if you can soften up
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Thrice
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Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:07 pm

september wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 3:56 pm
you didnt listen (well actually maybe you did a bit, you look a little softer)
Yes i will start to pracrice smiling, i have to say that what i like the most is the fuck boy subtle expression, which is also the best for the girls i wanna target and in general i think males look better like this
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september
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Mon Jan 30, 2023 1:41 am

Thrice wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:07 pm
i have to say that what i like the most is the fuck boy subtle expression, which is also the best for the girls i wanna target and in general i think males look better like this
facial expressions and posing can give HUGELY different impressions based on VERY subtle changes

for example both pics you showed, the guy's face is VERY relaxed, his eyes are very hooded, he has the faintest hint of a smile on the corners of his lips, his eyebrows are high up (notice that his forehead wrinkles from it in the 2nd pic)

pretend you're a girl in front of him and he's looking at you like that. the vibe is immediately obvious - in the first pic he's very sultry like he's going to kiss you, in the second pic he's lost deep in your eyes.

tighten some his facial muscles by just a few millimeters and the pics would "look" almost identical, but the vibe would go from sultry and romantic to weird and hostile.

If you really look closely, fuckboy expressions are always made ON TOP of a relaxed, content face. It never looks like their baseline mood is anything but "winning". At most they're looking at you in a "challenging" or "suspicious" way, but it's always as if they were having tons of fun before you came along, and now they're PLAYFULLY testing you, and not under any real threat

---

basically, you NEED to have a "baseline" happy expression before you start trying to look cool. I really suggest not trying to look cool either. Because it's too easy to fuck up and gives like a 1% improvement over looking content and relaxed, which is a 10000% improvement over not looking like that

For reference all my pics on all my dating profiles have me smiling or with a very content, relaxed face, and I don't try to look cool in any of them

It's likely even MORE important for you to look friendly because you're a more "foreign" archetype in your market and need to balance out various weirdness cues (which I also have a ton of)
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RogerRoger
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Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:25 pm

September is spot on about the face being relaxed. That's basically the difference imho between Andy (intense) and Radical (relaxed). Intense can work too but much more niche. Anyway keep up the good work with the photos mate. As long as you're trying to improve you'll get there -- you've come a long way since -26 karma on gll :D
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Thrice
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Mon Jan 30, 2023 11:17 pm

Adrizzle wrote:
Fri Jan 27, 2023 10:35 pm
Good to see you got a flash. Flash photography is defs more advanced. Also are you shooting raw and editing? That could help bring down the highlights.

I think like the others, expression right now is more important than a technically correct photo.

I can give you flash tips. But are you going to work on your expressions?
2CFC9740-9A38-4E0D-AD47-38A0861592E6.jpeg

Everyone feels a bit odd and silly taking photos in public you have to do it anyway.
yes i'm shooting raw, not editing yet, i will work on my expression and download lightroom to edit
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MakingAComeback
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:24 am

Bro you're actually handsome lol.

You're actually way better looking than I am.

I am happy for you, because with work and time, I KNOW, truly, you can get what you are looking for.

Great help from the boys.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

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Adrizzle
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 11:09 am

Mate shooting raw and not editing is like, buying a manual rally car when you only drive 5 minutes down the road.

Please please don’t shoot raw if you don’t edit. Shoot in jpeg and your cameras colour profile will be better than an unedited raw. All these technical things are secondary to expression and posing
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Thrice
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 2:13 pm

RogerRoger wrote:
Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:25 pm
September is spot on about the face being relaxed. That's basically the difference imho between Andy (intense) and Radical (relaxed). Intense can work too but much more niche. Anyway keep up the good work with the photos mate. As long as you're trying to improve you'll get there -- you've come a long way since -26 karma on gll :D
thank you, i will keep working on it...thank god this forum doesen't have negative karma hahahah
Adrizzle wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 11:09 am
Mate shooting raw and not editing is like, buying a manual rally car when you only drive 5 minutes down the road.
yes thank you i'm trying to find lightroom without spending a fortune, i know this guy he said he will find a cracked version for me for just 10euros let's hope he find it, i never learned how to crack programs and i don't want to waste time learning, by the way i also have photoshop6
MakingAComeback wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:24 am
Bro you're actually handsome lol.

You're actually way better looking than I am.
Thank you Mac, you're a good looking guy, to be honest you can't measure your attractiveness in an enviroment where you're a minority, imagine a handsome chinese guy in Sweden...

It's great seeing you putting in the work approaching those bitches hahah didn't know brithis girls could be this rude you have some balls...and patience.
I will have to grow some balls too, i'm not practicing taking pictures enough because i feel awkward without a pal
september wrote:
Mon Jan 30, 2023 1:41 am
basically, you NEED to have a "baseline" happy expression before you start trying to look cool.
you're right, i will start practicing happy expressions as i don't even have that as a baseline, in fact my baseline is an unhappy expression so i will need to practice that asap you're right
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RogerRoger
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:49 pm

Thrice wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 2:13 pm
you're right, i will start practicing happy expressions as i don't even have that as a baseline, in fact my baseline is an unhappy expression so i will need to practice that asap you're right
I think this will help if you struggle with depression too -- forcing yourself to smile, laugh, dance etc. improves mood. It's in my goal list to do so ~daily this year whether I feel miserable or not.
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Thrice
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:29 pm

RogerRoger wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:49 pm
forcing yourself to smile, laugh, dance etc. improves mood. It's in my goal list to do so ~daily this year whether I feel miserable or not.
Wow i think it's a great thing, i like to sing a dance like Michael Jackson but it's beed years since last time I've done that, it's time to moonwalk again... This time i would like to film myself too


baught i head wig from amazon because going back a forth from the camera is so awkward, with the head wig i put it on a light stand do what i have to do and then remove it and take a shot of myself... that's how photographer practice anyway

I'm ashamed to say that even if I'm a fucking incel in his 30's i still don't have the balls to do that at park without a pal... any advice on how to grow a pair?
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Adrizzle
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:19 pm

Did you need to buy a head wig? You could have used literally anything taped to a light stand to find focus.

To me it seems like you are avoiding the thing you need to do by buying useless shit. You will need to walk back to the camera to check the photos anyway

All you need to do is work on expressions. Wake up in the morning and smile at the mirror. Smile at random people. Smile for the camera.

If you feel afraid you do it anyway. If you really need get a friend. Go on Facebook find a photo group in your city. Search “your city photo walk” or “your city TFP models”. Stop buying unless distractions
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natedawg
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:26 pm

@Thrice Out of curiousity, what are you working on exactly? Just photo stuff? Do you have a list of goals anywhere, by chance?
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
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Thrice
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Thu Feb 02, 2023 9:21 am

natedawg wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:26 pm
@Thrice Out of curiousity, what are you working on exactly? Just photo stuff? Do you have a list of goals anywhere, by chance?
Yws it's just photos, now I'm lifting in a deficit, hopefully to reveal abs, and then it's style grooming and photo
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