Thrice log. Is there someone that could give me personal help?

[Yggdrasil13]

You have to be aware of chicks testing you and fucking with you and playing games and disrespecting you

Is it really disrespect though? If I am getting the story right, it sounds like she wants to go sightseeing or hiking for a second date and he wants a lower effort date. I don’t think that’s disrespect. And she’s asking logistical questions and unwittingly stumbling into the lies he told, which is causing issues, but again not really her fault or even something she’s aware of. (not shaming the lying, but part of the cost is you have to keep you’re story straight. You accept that headache when you lie.)

I think @Thrice wants her to accept his proposition to do the same thing on the second date as the first and she wants to do tourist-y things unaware of some of the problems it is creating. I can see why that would be annoying, but not aggravating. Maybe @Thrice can clarify what is so aggravating about the situation? Is it a fear that she may use you as a tour guide and not do anything sexual with you? Or that even if she winds up having sex with you, you want her to follow your game plan and not try and do the tourist-y stuff with you? Or is it something else?

[Thrice]

What would be the worst thing that could happen if you did let a girl get to know you better, and you did some stuff with her like swimming etc?

It’s interesting that you don’t like girls who ask you questions (and I’m sure you are smart enough to deflect a “20 minutes drive” into an hour, just tell her you normally drive fast)

the worst thing she finds out i lied about those stuff

Thanks for the post, i took my time to read it and it was worth it. Actually it's the first time i think i see a practical example of how CBT works. I guess you worked with the therapist for some months before coming up with the most effective steps that works for you. My triggers are different but the feelings are the same and this gives me hope that therapy can work for me too

Agreed with Thrice's interpretation of the tone of the posting. I generally want to cave people's face in when they go "seek help"

thank you, i thought i'm the only crazy one who noticed something wrong with that phrase!

I do agree that Thrice should spend more effort on trying to stay positive and not feeling so threatened by chicks being the easily handled children that they are.

thanks for the advice, i think the only way to achieve this is to actually fuck them, which i'm till not doing. I feel that once i start having sex a lot of things will change naturally

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Maybe @Thrice can clarify what is so aggravating about the situation? Is it a fear that she may use you as a tour guide and not do anything sexual with you? Or that even if she winds up having sex with you, you want her to follow your game plan and not try and do the tourist-y stuff with you? Or is it something else?

thats exactly what happened, i told her lets meet in the same place for a low effort date without me beign a tour guide that has to invent stories to cover previous lies. Nothing wrong, it's not her fault and she's completely unaware but for gods sake stop asking where we can go and what we can do i'm not a tourist guide. Nothing wrong with asking 1 time but not 10 times. The last time she added she didnt want me to travel, nice on her part but i thought we'd agreed to meet in the same place. It's her wanting to visit a new place or is she really worried about me having to travel? Go figure


hello @pancakemouse

she has "looking for company" in her bio. I asked her what area she lives in to look for bars near her so a car it's not needed

[Yggdrasil13]

i think the only way to achieve this is to actually fuck them, which i'm till not doing. I feel that once i start having sex a lot of things will change naturally

It’s cliché, but changing attitudes can change results as much as results can change attitudes. Results are important, but you can still change your attitude, at least somewhat, by making an effort to do so. A lot of guys fall into a trap of “I’ll have a good mindset once I succeed” but sometimes in order to succeed you have to improve the mindset first. At the very least you should work on it from both ends.

Anyway it sounds like beneath it all the real issue here is that it’s impractical/impossible to do a date like this girl wants because it’s going to expose previous lies you told. If not for that, going hiking or sightseeing or something, wouldn’t be a problem? But the date basically has to conform to your specifications because otherwise you’re going to be caught lying or have to go to great lengths not to be? Because I understand not seeing her again for that reason.

[Thrice]

A lot of guys fall into a trap of “I’ll have a good mindset once I succeed” but sometimes in order to succeed you have to improve the mindset first. At the very least you should work on it from both ends.

Yes i'm trying to work on both

it’s going to expose previous lies you told. If not for that, going hiking or sightseeing or something, wouldn’t be a problem?

in general yes, if i only really lived there i can even do it once. Whats annoying is that she kept trying to do "something different" when most girls that are not tourist really don't care

yesterday when i started thinking about going out i felt huge resistance, it's been many months I don't go out alone and I could feel it. I was hesitant and thinking of staying home till the last moment.
Rationalizing it with excuses about bad weather that don't make sense. Sometimes fewer people in the club because of bad weather is a good thing because there's less chaos and more possibility to strike up a conversation.
I chose the closest club to my house even if not ideal because it was a minimal goa techno party which means that 90% of people there were on something. I approached a girl "How you going", "Good" and kept walking without brakes.
another girl was giving me eye contact, maybe on the older side 25/26 i guess but didn't approach even when she got very close.

Not good but it was my first night, and I was probably the only one alone without friends in the entire venue, I spent only 10 euros and got one approach in. And i did all this without alcohol. Not super bad for now.

Tinder dried up, I don't get matches even with boosts. I see many many attractive girls, it hurts knowing that they're all seeing my profile and I'm not attractive for any of them.

I will use tinder passport to try and swipe in different cities. I have some girls on tinder that want to date but they don't know when because they're "busy" and "will let me know". I don't know what to do in this case and if I have to keep texting or not. What I know is they're never "busy" when they find you attractive

[pancakemouse]

hello @pancakemouse

She seems like a waste of time, but baseline Game rule: never write "haha" to a girl, or laugh at something she says via text.

[Thrice]

She seems like a waste of time,

you're right as usual, thanks

[Terminator]

baseline Game rule: never write "haha" to a girl, or laugh at something she says via text.

Why not?

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

Not good but it was my first night, and I was probably the only one alone without friends in the entire venue, I spent only 10 euros and got one approach in. And i did all this without alcohol. Not super bad for now.

That night sounds like a win to me. Sure, in a perfect world you would’ve done 15 approaches and pulled the hottest girl in the club, but you did two things — going to a club by yourself and opening a girl while at a club by yourself— that 95% of people would never have the balls to do.

You took action toward a goal that’s important to you in a way that almost anyone would find terrifying. Well done

[pancakemouse]

baseline Game rule: never write "haha" to a girl, or laugh at something she says via text.

Why not?

Breaks tension and/or needless validation. She should be laughing at what you say, not the other way around. It also doesn't move the interaction forward.

[Thrice]

This was a wild experience, I got my first tinder lay Monday night, and a strange one at that. So at about 6 pm, i use a boost with almost no matches, just a couple of girls, one of them is down for a date but next weekend. After dinner I had nothing and knowing I didn't have work the day after and could stay app all night I kept swiping (without boost)

At 1.30 am i match this 22yo American girl, she's a student in Milan, i asked her out for drinks and her answer was come and fuck me basically
I'm very afraid of getting cucked knowing I would have 1h travel to reach her so i try to send a couple more messages.

She was very nice, asked me what i wanted to eat and told me to not drive fast and be carefull. Basically assuring me she will stay up and not go to sleep even if it takes a bit more

I park the car and go straight to her apartment, she was very happy to see me. We tried this self made cocktail with limoncello and orange tia and started chatting about this and that.
Within 5 minutes maybe I tried to kiss her, she was down at first but stopped after 30 seconds. I didn't push because i'm the down who's been invited to fuck and she's the one trying to close the deal
We talked a bit more and she said she liked my eyes and was a bit intimidated and needed more time. It turns out that by more time she meant 2 minutes, we get undressed and start fucking

She sucked my dick for a good 15 minutes, deepthroating until gagging. She only made pauses to be able to breathe before swallowing my entire cock again
She had condoms with her but when I tried to put one on she tried to convince me it was not needed. This is where i get turned off and start worrying. This girl wants me to fuck her during her period without a condom...
I put the condom on and start pounding, she doesn't really scream or moan loudly but asked to be as rough as possible and choke her too.
It was a good 15 minutes of pounding. We started talking after sex and she told me she has ADHD, I asked her if she has adderall and she gave me a couple of pills to bring home. That stuff is almost impossible to get prescribed in Italy.

I know they say don't stick your dick in crazy, this girl is only 22 but she obviously had a lot of practice and has some mental issue, but i have some mental issue too as you can in my log
We had crazy wild sex and was wild on her part to ask me to fuck her without a condom, which I didn't of course, but besides that, the girl is very logical and rational.
She talked about her life and she likes/dislikes about America like a very normal girl. No signs of a mean or irrational side. I slept with her and went back home the morning after, again i woke up next to a very normal girl, we talked about normal stuff like two normal people
I sent her a message on watsap in the evening to see if she ghosts maybe out of shame/regret or something, she didn't and her reply was very sweet

I kept receiving texts from the Irish girl, i don't know what she wanted to do but since i don't want to have sexless dates with a girl that was one 1hour from my home I tried to sexualize the conversation to see if she's down to business. i will show you the screen shot so you can tell if this is the right way to sexualize the conversation

there's a possibility that my first lay with tinder will always remain the wildest one, and that's strange. It also feels strange because only chads get invitations at home directly, in fact, i'm the one who tried to "prove" this for years doing tinder experiments with fake male model profiles. And now at 35 i just lived that same experience

Its so strange

[Squilliam]

Dude this is epic. I told you it was bound to happen soon.

And I will say from experience that crazy girls are usually the best in bed.

Interesting that you enjoyed it so much because most people’s first time isn’t good.

Congrats man and I hope this will give you more confidence that you can succeed in the future

[colgate]

hell yes!!! more to come!

[SpongeBob]

It also feels strange because only chads get invitations at home directly, in fact, i'm the one who tried to "prove" this for years doing tinder experiments with fake male model profiles. And now at 35 i just lived that same experience

Yeah congrats. You never gave up and prove yourself wrong

[Terminator]

Congrats Thrice! It's been a long time coming. How many lays do you have or was this your first (non-hooker)?

This made me so happy, and this is what I'm fuckin' talking about! As long as you keep putting yourself in situations where getting laid is a possibility, eventually it will happen. And once you get the ball rolling, it will start happening more.

[Thrice]

And I will say from experience that crazy girls are usually the best in bed.

Thanks!
this girl is a beast, she wanted a second round so bad but i couldn't, she was cool about and din't pressure me. She tried to blow but i couldn't stay hard to put the condom again so i'm thinking of buying something like cialis, it's very hard to get here unfortunately

Congrats Thrice! It's been a long time coming. How many lays do you have or was this your first (non-hooker)?

This made me so happy, and this is what I'm fuckin' talking about! As long as you keep putting yourself in situations where getting laid is a possibility, eventually it will happen. And once you get the ball rolling, it will start happening more.

Thank you brother! yes it's my first time, i hope it's the beginning of a new era for me

hell yes!!! more to come!

thanks brother

Yeah congrats. You never gave up and prove yourself wrong

Yes, i'm so slow and autistic, i have nothing to teach except for the fact that i have a HUGE patience. There's posts of me complaining about this stuff from 20 years ago...