SamJ's Approach Log

SamJ_ · Sat Apr 24, 2021 5:33 am

In this thread I will be recording the approaches that I complete (minimum of 100 approaches by 25th birthday). To count as an approach, I must ask a girl I am attracted to for some form of contact info. I had been putting this off for a long time, and tonight I finally decided to stop being a pussy and approach. I wanted to skip the approach anxiety program and just jump right in and not waste time, so here's the first one.

Approach #1:

I approached a girl, said hi and she said hi and something else I don't remember and then immediately asked for her number. Yeah I get that's not the way you're supposed to do it. But I had to overcome the initial hurdle of making a complete fool of myself and realize nothing bad would happen. Also she was in a big group of people of both girls and guys, so a girl being in a group is no excuse not to approach. She laughed her fucking ass off at me. But I don't care, approach #1 done. Lets FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat Apr 24, 2021 4:24 pm

Noice!

She laughed. It doesn't matter.
You got one done. That's what does.

SamJ_ · Sun Apr 25, 2021 4:41 am

Update: I was out of town for most of the day but I decided to go for a walk tonight and see if there were any girls I could try to have a better conversation with. Didn't really have any luck (small town). There were two girls who were running past me who I said hi to. Thought about asking quick for name/number but second guessed myself, and since they were running pretty fast, I probably wouldn't have had any luck and it woulda been kinda lame. I looked around for a bit more but didn't have much luck and am tired as hell tonight and have a lot to do tomorrow, so I went home and gave up even though I prolly shouldn't have. I should probably go to a place where I can sit down and have a conversation. What I'm realizing is I need to work on real conversation skills cause it was pretty easy to just holler at a girl and ask for her number but also not likely to get me very good results lol. Still trying to use that as motivation since I proved to myself that at least I can approach.

SamJ_ · Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:58 am

Approach #2:

This one I'm actually a lot more excited about, because I actually held a 1-2 minute long conversation with a girl, and exchanged names and snapchats although she had a boyfriend, but she actually seemed like a cool person who could be a good friend in general. this one was a WAY bigger confidence booster and much more exciting for me than the first one, because it was during the daytime and I was totally sober. Although I didn't admit it til now, I was drunk out of my mind for Approach #1 and while I posted it on here lol (that's probably why I got laughed at so hard, I'm sure I looked and sounded like a moron). Sober daytime is much better and healthier for everyone involved and could actually lead to results.

Dijkstra · Mon Apr 26, 2021 1:57 am

Congrats on the approaches man, it's definitely a start. Credit where it's due, jumping straight into cold approaches instead of the AA program sounds pretty daunting. Good luck with it.

SamJ_ · Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:08 am

Dijkstra wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 26, 2021 1:57 am
Congrats on the approaches man, it's definitely a start. Credit where it's due, jumping straight into cold approaches instead of the AA program sounds pretty daunting. Good luck with it.

Thanks! Honestly the aa program seems pretty daunting too, I respect the guys who do it and might still do it myself eventually. But I wanted to jump right in first instead of asking for the time and stuff like that for weeks lol

SamJ_ · Sat May 01, 2021 4:32 pm

Two more approaches done last night, walking around the streets near some bars/restaurants near me that are pretty active on weekend nights.

Approach #3:

I approached a girl in a big group of girls, said hi, and told her she was attractive, asked her name which she gave to me but she said she had a boyfriend.

Approach #4:

I approached another girl in a smaller group of three girls in the same way. Asked for her number to which she responded that she'd give me her snapchat instead. Asked if she was single and she was and said she'd like to hang out sometime. This is exciting but possible nothing will happen. Gotta keep approaching.

So now I've done 4 approaches which feels good but still feel very much like a newb and inexperienced. The biggest thing I've learned so far is that it's a process and takes a long time to overcome approach anxiety. I had this mistaken idea before I started approaching that with 1 or 2 approaches something would click in my mind and I'd be on top of the world and I'd suddenly be able to approach effortlessly lol. This is pretty far from the truth as I'm still my neurotic self and still avoid approaching the vast majority of girls I see, but I will say that it is starting to get a little less scary, so I gotta keep at it and eventually I'll get there.

Sat May 01, 2021 4:52 pm

SamJ_ wrote: ↑
Sat Apr 24, 2021 5:33 am
She laughed her fucking ass off at me.

They laugh their fucking ass off now but later you'll start fucking them in the ass. Congrats for putting yourself out there man.

SamJ_ · Sat May 01, 2021 5:49 pm

Crisis_Overcomer wrote: ↑
Sat May 01, 2021 4:52 pm

SamJ_ wrote: ↑
Sat Apr 24, 2021 5:33 am
She laughed her fucking ass off at me.
They laugh their fucking ass off now but later you'll start fucking them in the ass. Congrats for putting yourself out there man.

Thanks man. Also that was approach 1, a week ago and I completely deserved to get laughed at. I was drunk and just straight up shouted a girl down and asked for her number, almost no conversation. Since then all my approaches have been actual approaches, telling them they're attractive, exchanging names, having a regular conversation, etc.