Svadhishthana's log

[Rags2Bitches]

good stuff. being more in the moment will come with practice. as will making connections and steering the conversation to the things you're excited about (and have status in) when you talk and asking good open ended questions/listening about the girl's life/shit she cares about.

I would only keep very simple things in mind like speak slower/maintain eye contact/touch the girl/go for the kiss/invite back to your place. based on your rate of progress, you'll get laid in no time.

One last broad point. Almost completely unrelated to getting laid but may help you enjoy the experiences more. There's gonna be a pretty big cultural gap between some of these college kids and you (the shit they're into, their daily activities, communication style, how they interact with technology etc). Your gut reaction is going to be to dismiss a lot of their world, but I'd keep an open mind. Although most pop culture of every generation is trash, there are some cool activities/concepts/bits of descriptive language that you'll pick up along the way.

[Svadhishthana]

Thanks dude - I'm definitely trying to stay focused on the process. Bringing the convo to my interests is a priority I should focus on.

Went for touch a few times and she didn't have a problem with it. I think she even invited it a few times. Eye contact I was focusing on, but definitely a weak point - I tend to look away when I'm looking into my own brain trying to figure out how to explain something on the fly.

Will say, I thought it was weird how attached she was to her phone and how many videos she wanted to show me. But idk how much this is even a generational gap, and how much this is just my ludditism.

As for inviting her back to my place... Maybe y'all could have some input on this. She was based in Boulder, about 30 min away from me, and had no car. So basically mandatory for me to go way out of my way to meet her. Almost no way I could invite her back to my place. However, as mentioned before... I have a camper van. So, having been given permission to be a desperate, horny motherfucker, I figured... Why not bring my place to her? So I drove the van up to Boulder and invited her back to it, where I made my make out request.

I know that in other parts of the world, maybe this is really weird, but honestly it's really common to have a vehicle with a bed in it here. What do you think - super autistically creepy or what? Honestly, this girl just moved here from NYC, and I'm kinda expecting that now, even if she doesn't sleep with me, fucking a guy in a van will be on of her colorado sex bucket list.

Also, need advice: how do I invite her out again? 80% she ghosts, but sending a text costs nothing. Just say "Hey, had a great time. Wanna go (X at time and place)?" ?

[Svadhishthana]

Kinda a zero day after my date yesterday. Turns out drinking in the morning doesn't make me super productive.

Back on track today. Getting my ear pierced, gotta start cleaning out the room I'm currently in so a new tenant can move in at the beginning of the month, and meeting this tenant today to give her the key. Set up a date for Friday night in Fort Collins. Friend and I made plans to climb in Wyoming, so I'm not really going out of my way to meet the girl. This girl has been *very* explicit with her interest, so I might actually be able to get some. I just have to pull the trigger.

[Svadhishthana]

Getting stabbed in the ear: more comfortable than learning to wear a necklace.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tmcDj ... =drivesdk

[MakingAComeback]

Oh snap looks like you're off to the races man, dates are coming in, image is getting way better, good shit.

MAC

[Rags2Bitches]

nah I don't think the van thing is weird. up to you at what point you want to reveal it/how honest you want to be about its purpose.

if it were me (zero experience with van sex), I would seed it sometime earlier during conversation when talking about your love for mountains/luddism. that you even lived in a van for a while and got interviewed about it. sometimes you still drive it around instead of your car. then after a couple of successful van dates/some calibration I'd get more honest about it.

Yea that text is fine. I like to ping with something and exchange a few messages back and forth then ask but it's not necessary at all.

Don't want to rain on the parade, but can't say I'm thrilled about that piercing. Why is it so small and not at the bottom of the ear? My perception of men's earrings is different for some reason. Maybe @Radical can chime in

[Radical]

I don’t mind that tbh, thats pretty common among the backpacker types i hang out with lol so maybe im desensitised

One of the best players i knew had something similar and a nose ring

[Dewm]

super autistically creepy or what?

I was homeless living in a toyota corolla for a year and a half. Yes I fucked in it. Twice. Once to an 18 year old cutie who kept posting on r/gonewild and we became friends on snapchat. She thought I lived in a high rise condo but those snaps were just from me on the roof at work lol. I told her I lived in my car over text, if it was a dealbreaker I understood. She still wanted to meet and we madeout until we found a spot on the beach by the zoo.
Next girl was at a bar and I straight up told her "I live in my car." I think she thought I was joking. We make out super hard and i just take her to my car and we fuck. When all is said and done and the cuddling is over she says lets go back to my place and I said "were already here I really do live in my car." The look on her face was not of disgust or horror but more like 'wow he really did tell me the truth.' I offered to take her home but she said no and actually after a quick pitstop at starbucks slept with me in the car all night. Took her home. Had one more date where we fucked by that Taco Bell on the beach in Pacifica. Then she left the state. I guess things weren't exactly stable for her lol.

Point is if she wants to fuck you in your awesome van then yeah she'll fuck you. Women are incredibly forgiving about a lot.

[Radical]

As a sidenote @Rags2Bitches and this is controversial i know i dont count most piercings as accessories - i group body modification stuff in its own sort of area

[Svadhishthana]

Thanks for all the advice guys!

Got the helix piercing just because I felt it suited me better. The stud itself is just something simple and cheap until the ear heals, then I'm gonna search on Etsy for more noticable options.

@Radical Read that opinion you had in your guide and though "goddammit, you're taking all my easy outs away", lol. But I wanted to do this for a while anyway, so figured it would be a good way to ease in. Working on being more comfortable with accessories in parallel.

Normal log stuff:

Now that I'm allowed to drink again, I'm doing it too much. Will shoot for 2 drinks per night if I have a social event, and will reduce further if I end up socializing a lot.

Also notice I'm now checking dating apps too much still. Will install an app blocker on my phone like Andy recommends so I can focus more on other things during the day.

Todo today:

- Move out a tenant
- Move my stuff from one room to another
- Clean house for new tenant moving in tomorrow
- Pack for the weekend
- Message people about my last room
- Work out

[Svadhishthana]

Ok, moved one out, one is moving in tomorrow. Still gotta get someone for that last room. Have a date scheduled for tonight, just sent confirmation text. Got a bunch of stuff to do today around changing rooms and leaving for the weekend. Plus work out before I leave.

[Svadhishthana]

Date 2: met girl, had some drinks, walked around, goodnight kiss. Aaawwww.... #BoyfriendMaterial

I have mixed feelings here. On one hand, more action than I've really gotten in years. On the other - who gives a shit, I did a piss poor performance. Had some high minded ideas about how I was gonna be really on point tonight. I even thought about how I should try going for the kiss as soon as I met her, get shot down, and just call it a night early happy with my rejection.

But I just fell into old habits of being a nice guy, not expressing what I really want, being afraid of rejection - especially publicly. And my brain just felt like it was in molasses. The result, I've found, of grinding in an environment you feel is fundamentally hostile to you for years.

Will follow up, expect a ghost, better luck next time son. Hopefully I can be fueled by disappointment and self hatred enough to get a few good sends in this weekend. Masochist mecca awaits - always a good time.

[MakingAComeback]

Nah, you are doing amazing, this was real progress and I am STOKED for you!

Keep going brother, you are now winning, so keep going. The scales will tip and a lot of dates will come thru.

MAC

[Rags2Bitches]

nah dude gtfo, this is what, your 2nd-3rd date from this cycle? there’s a learning curve. you’re doing fine.

just try to escalate a little faster every time.

also this whole “expecting to ghost after the first date” thing shouldn’t be an expectation as you get better given where you are in life. Your retention rate in its final form should be 70-80%+

[MakingAComeback]

You'll definitely make it man, keep going, looks are on point for sure, everything about you is great, just keep getting lots of dates and I am sure you can get to the point where some of the guys get where they just choose the best gal for them.

Have a good weekend,
MAC