Svadhishthana's log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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MattsCrib
Posts: 433 | Thanks: 136
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Name: Matt
Goal: Focus on the positive
Age: 26

Tue Oct 12, 2021 7:25 pm

Daaamn dude :D Respect.
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Svadhishthana
Posts: 147 | Thanks: 115
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Thu Oct 14, 2021 4:06 am

Thanks guys, it feels great! I was doing some gratitude practice before dinner, and I had to remember - oh shit, I fucked two hot women this week! It seems so surreal, my brain almost thinks the memories were just dreams. When I remembered that it was real, I had a giant fucking smile on my face for like 10 minutes - half just laughing at myself for even forgetting, and half just from sheer joy of remembering *that actually happened*.

Normal log stuff:

Had 3 dates on my calendar today, because I have yet to learn to say no. First was a catfish, but a very nice and friendly one. Second one, I'd put on my calendar, but forgot to hammer out a confirmation. I pinged her, rescheduled. Third said she needed to pull a double at work, rescheduled. This is all actually quite fortunate, because I was quite hungover today from making cocktails with friends last night.

When I realized my poor impulse control was leading me to schedule multiple dates in one day, I was concerned that if the stars actually aligned I wouldn't be able to keep it up for later performances. In preparation for this, I got some toys - looking forward to using them...

I think today, the shock of all this is actually starting to wear off, though. I spent a chunk of the day refocusing, prioritizing some goals and subgoals, and setting deadlines to hit. Glad to be back on track.
Current goals:
1) Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate.
2) Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant).
3) Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 147 | Thanks: 115
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:53 am

Felt good today. Got lots of shit done on the Todo list, life is getting back under control.

2 dates. First wasn't that attractive. I used the opportunity to practice honestly in turning her down. Nothing amazing, but instead of saying 'lets meet again' and never following up, I basically gave a soft no - "I've gotta go, it was good to meet you."

Second date was better. Girl is super cute and attractive. Also really fun and cool. The conversation was too good, and I forgot to make moves until it was time to leave. When we got up, I went for the kiss and we made out for a but she said she'd made plans with a friend for after the date. Of course, unknowable if this was an excuse, an intentional real plan to avoid going back to mine, or just a real plan she made without thinking. Really, based on her personality, it seems like the last, but who knows. She seemed honestly on the fence about bailing on her friends and coming back to my place.

Lessons learned:

1) Sit next to her, not across from her, dumbass. Yeah it's obvious - good! You're making it obvious that you're expecting some smoochin'!

2) Don't tell her ahead of time that the place you're going to closes kinda early, or she might assume that's when the date will end and make plans.

All in all, kinda disappointed in myself for not going for it more. I might have been able to bring her back to mine if I'd started escalating earlier. Oh well - will try to fit her in my schedule and try again.
Current goals:
1) Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate.
2) Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant).
3) Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 147 | Thanks: 115
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Fri Oct 15, 2021 11:33 pm

Ok, 4 of 5 leases converted to year-long. One to go, then the banks will feel better about giving me more money, since I've proved my current investment is stable.

Went through and did some budgeting. Been procrastinating on solar, but I think I'll pull the trigger once I convert that last lease. One last big job...

Toys arrived. In addition to Andy's recommendations, I also got a Bluetooth enabled insertable vibe I researched a while ago. I always wanted to give some direct feedback during BJs, and opportunities for fun in public are numerous... Also, currently reading up on some bondage stuff - I already know a lot about rope and knots, so it seems like a natural avenue to explore.

Friend is coming over to work out this afternoon, then date with the hot girl this evening.

Everything indicates that the date should go well. Confirmed this morning. During messaging, she ran with the opener and said she would only respond to "Sexy" from now on. Seems like a good way to greet her when we meet in person - an inside joke, plus forwardness. Still, I'm nervous as fuck... Maybe I'll say a prayer.

Dear sweet lord baby Jesus, thank you for your gift of penis pumps and vibrators and alcohol and sexy clothes, so we might give hedonic pleasure to one another. Thank you for making sexy women, and for making me a horny, evil white cis her male with the corresponding drive to put my penis in them. Please give me the courage to be direct with this smokin hot babe about how much I want to fuck her, and the mental fortitude to physically escalate as much as possible, so I can take her back to my place, rip her clothes of, and make her cum over and over and over again, for ever and ever. Amen.
Current goals:
1) Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate.
2) Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant).
3) Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 147 | Thanks: 115
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Sat Oct 16, 2021 4:30 am

Date with hit girl went ok. Got a kiss, but said she just got out of an LTR and wants to take it slow. No problem. Asked her if she's free Thursday, she said maybe, followed up with text. We'll see.

So no pull, but got some confidence with a more attractive girl. Also, I'm getting quicker - in and out in 1:15.
Current goals:
1) Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate.
2) Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant).
3) Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 147 | Thanks: 115
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:09 pm

Yesterday, had 3 dates scheduled. One was a 2nd date - she rescheduled, but agreed to come straight to my place. Then evening date "rainchecked". So one date in the afternoon. Didn't go exactly as planned... Place we agreed on had some live music, so it was packed and extremely loud - we decided to go elsewhere, but found a lot of places closed. Additionally difficult, since she was gluten free, so we couldn't just get beer. Convo was also strange - sometimes she'd be into it, sometimes she seemed distracted. Went for the pull, and it was also strange - she waffled for a second between "maybe later today" and "next time" before settling on "next time". Walked her back to her car, got a kiss but she wasn't super into it. Followed up, but no response yet, so I'm not counting on it.

I'm increasingly disliking daytime dates - definitely saps some of the sexual energy from the situation, and I need as much of that as I can get. Also, lesson learned - have a backup plan. Honestly I'm kinda disappointed by the lack of success lately. A few factors might be playing into it.

First, I keep setting up dates too far in advance because I already have dates set up in the nearer term. But this is kind of a bad cycle to be in. Dates set up too many days out tend to flake more often, so I end up with a bunch of flakes. Also, too many days out gives the girl too much time to think about, and then forget about, me - it becomes a chore to do on her calendar that she feels bad about bailing on, instead of something she's looking forward to.

Second, I don't feel as desperate and excited anymore. I got the goal and checked the box and am now just coasting, and am not really pushing myself to go for it. This might be coming off, making me seem less sexual, and therefore, less attractive.

But then, there's also the null hypothesis - I got lucky a couple times early on, but a certain proportion of women simply won't be down, and I'm experiencing regression towards the mean. I will presumably improve over time simply through exposure, and I should just see this as getting reps in.

But really, it's kinda wearing me down. Ate a bunch of crap food last night and drank a bunch - don't even know why. Currently recovering from the hangover. Have another afternoon date scheduled today, but might cancel just because I don't wanna take the time out of my day. Plus, botched the planning, so it's across town. Then in the evening, the tall blonde girl is coming to my place.

What I really need to do is shift how I'm veiwing dates. It's no longer my priority, and I have other shit to do. So when I show up, I need to remember why I'm there - to chill out, have a good time, and figure out if the girl is dtf as soon as possible, because I honestly *do* have other things I could be doing instead.
Current goals:
1) Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate.
2) Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant).
3) Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 729 | Thanks: 548
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 8 dates by Dec 31st
Age: 30
Motto: No Excuses

Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:38 pm

There is no 'lack of success' lately, you're arranging dates, that is amazing and I'm happy for you. That is success dude.

The more dates you go on, the more experience you get, both just dating and having connection, then possibly exploring intimacy with them on (hopefully) a longer-term basis if they will see you casually until you're ready for serious stuff.

This looks like standard solid self-improvement to me. You're doing very well.

All a process bro. Keep working.

MAC
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 147 | Thanks: 115
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Oct 18, 2021 6:04 pm

@MakingAComeback lol, you're right. I'm being a dumbass. The hedonic treadmill strikes again!

I have to remember that this is all part of the process. I'm still in the mindset that I need to "convince" girls that they want to sleep with me, which I guess is what I'm really fretting about. Instead, I need to loosen up my filter and enjoy the ride, but that'll come with time and practice.

Another win - now that I've had some success, I'm being more open with people in my life about dating. This really happened almost by necessity, since I needed to explain why I always had plans I was scheduling around. Not totally open about it - I think most of the people I've talked to think I'm just aggressively pursuing an LTR, and I haven't told anyone I'm going after younger women for fear of being judged. But I'm actually quite happy I've been able to express this much, and it's a good step on the path of bringing my life in harmony.
Current goals:
1) Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate.
2) Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant).
3) Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
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