Svadhishthana's log

[Svadhishthana]

Yesterday was good. Spent the morning retrieving my bike from the side of the road, then first day pulling on boulders here. Only here for a week, so gotta make the most of it - hoping to send V6 by the end of the trip. So yesterday got warmed up and ticked a few V3s.

Late posting this today, but today has also been decent so far. Annoyingly wasted time this morning watching TV for a while, but then, Spanish, mediated, kettlebells. Then went to the crag and sent a V4. Rest day tomorrow, then try to send V5.

[Svadhishthana]

Yesterday went climbing again after a rest day. Goal was to send V5, but failed there. Got on 2 different problems of the grade, both of which felt very difficult. First problem favored shorter people. I had to start with my knee above my elbows at the start - extremely strenuous position to hold. Once I figured out good beta for the move, my right shoulder was feeling wonky, and the skin on my left ring finger was wearing thin, so I shelved it and hoped the next problem would suit me better. Second problem just had very awkward and difficult moves - start with a hand-heel match, then drop lower and power off the heel to crank up to bad holds, then battle through more bad holds, then enduro on jugs to the finish. I managed to make the first move, but the heel was so painful and awkward that I dropped off. Didn't fare much better on the hard moves after I drop the heel either. But my friend who climbs harder than me also failed to send and said it was harder than a lot of V6s he'd tried.

But after, I worked a V4 traverse. Started pumpy with jugs and poor feet, then a left hand sloper, sink into a low flag below it and cross into a sidepull. Then more good holds with bad feet for more pump just before a second crux to dead point for the top out jug. It was honestly not that hard of a problem, but I should pat myself on the back for a few things. First was good tactics. When I felt the problem was sendable but still difficult, I sussed beta and practiced the cross crux several times, rested, and put a send burn on it. I blew the final huck, which was dumb - I'd done that move before as part of another problem and knew it was difficult. I should have also practiced that part before a proper send go. But after I blew the top, I practiced that move a few times until I felt more comfortable with it. Then rested a while and went for the send - but blew it because I decided to change my beta for the crux in the moment because one of the holds was painful to hold, and I wanted to avoid the pain. I was pretty gassed after this attempt, but rested more, and then pulled on and sent. Things I did well were sussing beta, practicing cruxes, and resting sufficiently. The best thing I did was believing in my ability to still send - to still try hard - even after I was quite tired from my efforts earlier in the day. Things I could have improved - quitting earlier on the second V5 when it was obvious I wasn't close to sending; telling my friends to shut up when I was trying hard instead of talking shit; practicing visualizing during rest periods; warming up properly by climbing volume on easy problems and focusing on breathing and body positioning; fucking around in the morning instead of being prepared, done meditating and working out, ready to go before everyone else; being unclear with myself about what the actual goal of the day was.

So today I will be clear with my intention. I have today, then a rest day tomorrow, then one more day on rock here. My overall goal for the trip is to get an idea of my current bouldering grade. Currently it looks like my grade is V4 - I can get some in a day with some effort, but some elude me. That means that with good rest and multiple days of effort, I could probably send most V4s which are fair for the grade, some V5s, and V6s which match my style. So I will try to verify this by attempting to send more V4s and trying V5s and V6s very briefly to see if they seem possible, and then trying to send the harder grades if they do seem possible. Since my biggest opportunities for improvement are preparation and mental skills, my focus will be on these things - being prepared, using good tactics, being clear with my intentions, believing in my ability to send *today*, and trying really hard.

[Svadhishthana]

Annoying thing happened yesterday.

After posting here, I wanted to get my shit together. So got my shit packed, did a hangboard workout, and went out with my intention. First place my crew went had a few highball lines. I didn't want to get hurt pitching off the top, so I just walked up the most secure lines and then sat in the shade waiting until we moved on. I was annoyed because I felt I was wasting time not climbing on one of my last days here, and this was my fault because I hadn't been proactive in deciding where to go. This was because I hadn't been clear with myself about what I wanted out of the day - somewhere with shade, warm ups, and some non-highball V4-6 that might be my style. Then I should have researched what areas might have what I wanted, and communicated my preference to the group. But I didn't do that - oh well, I should have made the best of it anyway. It was the first place we visited, and I needed to warm up. I was annoyed the area wasn't perfect for me, but what I should have realized is that it was perfect for me to warm up, with many easy lines in the shade I could warm up and drill on. Importantly, I should have remembered the very simple and obvious fact that no one is forcing me to top out any given line I pulled on - I could have just climbed as high as I felt comfortable and then jumped off or down climbed. Because I had a problems focus instead of a solution focus, I missed the opportunities in front of me. And even if I wasn't stoked on doing that - the area had quite a few other people around, including attractive women, who I could have practiced introducing myself to to work on my social anxiety. Lucky for my dumb ass, most of my friends weren't too stoked on breaking their ankles either, and we headed to another area.

This area was home to a super classic V5 one of my friends was hyping me about. It was a bit tall, but still reasonable, and while the moves looked hard, they still seemed possible. I remembered my intention to try hard, and to believe a send was possible that day, and so I joined rhe crowd working the problem, awkwardly asking to pull on above their pads. I was afraid of embarrassing myself - it was a bunch of cool looking guys, which I was surprised to be intimidated by. And I was afraid of cutting in and not even being able to pull my ass off the ground - often the crux for my tall ass. As expected, I had a hard time with the opening moves - I could barely get my ass off the ground and was only able to limply tap the first hold. I felt some hesitation by my initial failure, but walked off the pads and started stretching my hips out, joking with the other guys about my height. The next time I pulled on, I started with one of my favorite tricks - starting at the end position for the move I can't do and trying to reverse it. Reversing the move felt impossible, but it gave me a better idea of body positioning, so I made some adjustments and immediately pulled back on and started climbing. Start on a decent 2 hand rail with bad smears underneath, scrunched up. Set up smears to turn the left hip in, then lock off to get your ass off the ground. Snatch a small blocky semi sidepull with the left, quickly reposition feet, then reach up right for the shark tooth undercling. Readjust the left smear, hike right foot up to a good big hold, then stand up into the undercling to reach up left to a good crimp. This is relatively easy, as you are now on your feet, so adjust feet to match your plumb line and cross to a good rail with the right, and immediately undo the cross to grab an even better pocket with the left. Then the second crux - work feet up to reach not great crimps with the right, feeling around for the best spot. Then work feet very high on bad footholds in a scrunched position until you can crank on the right crimp, stand up, and grab the top of a small pillar. From there, work feet and slap up bad slopers - doing a beached whale if necessary - to stand up on top.

I made it to the second crux, but was baffled by the bad feet and jumped off. I was still tired from yesterday, and I was tired yesterday, too. But I was surprised by how well I was doing still, despite the fatigue. I tried to use my best tactics - sussing beta, resting between burns, preserving skin. Most of my crew got tired and left, but one friend and I stuck around to keep working the problem. I knew I was powering down, but I was getting closer and closer to sticking the move at the second crux until... I walk up to the problem for a beta burn, reach up to the crimp with a three finger drag, pull on just like I had many times before.... and feel an uncomfortable pop in my wrist. I'm a bit concerned, but keep going with the burn like nothing happened. But when I get to the crux, I don't immediately figure it out and jump down. My hand and forearm feel weird. I immediately dunk them in the cold stream nearby and hold them there until they burn with the cold, then stop burning. But there is still an aching when I pull them out. Fuck.

On the car ride back, I feel my symptoms, remember the incident, and try to self diagnose. There is no localized pain. I feel stiffness and achiness in my index, middle, and ring fingers. There was a pop, but it wasn't audible. It hurts to hold a three finger drag - especially with the ring finger - in my forearm muscle. But I can hold a half crimp relatively pain free. My theory is that my flexors digitorum profundus tendons were under tension when I pulled on the crimp, but then they rolled over a boney protuberance in my wrist and snapped into a different position. This created a shock load on the passive tendon and ligament structures in my hand and fingers, as well as on the finger flexor muscle belly. So, best guess is nothing permanent, or even long lasting. Should respond to reasonable, intelligent loading. But still really annoying, since I won't be climbing hard for the rest of the trip, and probably for the next few weeks as well.

So, fuck. But at the same time, not the worst thing. I can use my recovery period to focus on strength training, improving endurance, getting chores done, and social anxiety.

[Svadhishthana]

Spent the last couple days being a bit depressed because of my injury, but some light hangboarding over the last two days has also helped it see significant improvement. But, trip is over, back in town, time to get things done. Meeting with my fwb in Utah again in a bit over a week, so want to get everything in order before then so I can enjoy the trip. So I'll knock out a bunch today and get another hangboard sesh in, then can get out climbing later this week assuming my injury feels better. My intention is to take care of these tasks today without stressing about them - instead, realizing that each one is an opportunity to learn something and enjoy my time in this life.

[Svadhishthana]

Yesterday woke, meditated, Spanish, and spent most of the day running around town buying tools and materials from FB marketplace. Then got back home, kb workout, hangboard workout, and started cleaning up some construction debris that had accumulated and was making the place look trashy. Then went to a friend's place to hang for a bit.

Upside was that I was busy all day and made progress on chores. Downside was that I didn't make time to work on my priority of social anxiety - though it strikes me that I didn't even need to make time. I could have integrated the practice into my day when running around buying things on FB - everyone was friendly, and I had quite a few pleasant conversations. Complimented one guy I bought a sawzall from on his Harley, and another I got some free shingles from on his Mischief Brew shirt. Talked about my life and real estate with a wealthy nearly retired real estate agent when I went to pick up his scrap deck railing, and got offered a job selling solar panels by a nice guy with a neck tattoo in a trailer park when I bought his washing machine. I think the lesson to take away here is that while I was doing these things, I should have been more present with the people, open to the possibility that they would have something interesting to say, and that they might be people I might want to know, rather than being in my head and just thinking about what I had to do next. I need to remember before showing up - everyone is worth my attention, so show up, smile, make eye contact, and be interested in them.

Today - work out, fill some propane, go to Airbnb, drop off propane, fix microwave door handle, replace hot tub cover, replace storm door closer, take inventory, return home, replace dishwasher, fix bed in van.

[Svadhishthana]

Posting to maintain the habit. Have spent the last couple days doing manual labor tasks. Today doing the same.

[Svadhishthana]

Been spending the last few days in an old plumbing shop disassembling their shelving to salvage lumber. Pretty blue collar labor with my drill, hammer, prybar, and sawzall, but I'm getting several hundred dollars worth of plywood and 2x4s for free. Then I can use those to build a shed in my back yard to serve as a workshop, and a place to work on my motorcycle while I rebuild it.

Kind of annoying, since I have other things that are actually more important to get done, like fixing my vans heater and vent fan, but the opportunity came up now, so it would be foolish not to capitalize on it. One pro is that the work is fairly enjoyable - just mindless work where I can listen to podcasts and audiobooks for hours. And the guy giving me the lumber said I'm a crazy hard worker and he'd give me a job on the spot if he had one available. But the downside is that it is beating me up - I haven't climbed or lifted in a couple days because my tank is just totally empty in the mornings and evenings. But I should finish up this task today. Then finish fixing van bed, and fix vent fan, and replace heater. And clean out my old dishwasher to sell it. Injury is feeling better, so then hoping to get out climbing with friends on Monday.