Svadhishthana's log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:53 am

Felt good today. Got lots of shit done on the Todo list, life is getting back under control.

2 dates. First wasn't that attractive. I used the opportunity to practice honestly in turning her down. Nothing amazing, but instead of saying 'lets meet again' and never following up, I basically gave a soft no - "I've gotta go, it was good to meet you."

Second date was better. Girl is super cute and attractive. Also really fun and cool. The conversation was too good, and I forgot to make moves until it was time to leave. When we got up, I went for the kiss and we made out for a but she said she'd made plans with a friend for after the date. Of course, unknowable if this was an excuse, an intentional real plan to avoid going back to mine, or just a real plan she made without thinking. Really, based on her personality, it seems like the last, but who knows. She seemed honestly on the fence about bailing on her friends and coming back to my place.

Lessons learned:

1) Sit next to her, not across from her, dumbass. Yeah it's obvious - good! You're making it obvious that you're expecting some smoochin'!

2) Don't tell her ahead of time that the place you're going to closes kinda early, or she might assume that's when the date will end and make plans.

All in all, kinda disappointed in myself for not going for it more. I might have been able to bring her back to mine if I'd started escalating earlier. Oh well - will try to fit her in my schedule and try again.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Fri Oct 15, 2021 11:33 pm

Ok, 4 of 5 leases converted to year-long. One to go, then the banks will feel better about giving me more money, since I've proved my current investment is stable.

Went through and did some budgeting. Been procrastinating on solar, but I think I'll pull the trigger once I convert that last lease. One last big job...

Toys arrived. In addition to Andy's recommendations, I also got a Bluetooth enabled insertable vibe I researched a while ago. I always wanted to give some direct feedback during BJs, and opportunities for fun in public are numerous... Also, currently reading up on some bondage stuff - I already know a lot about rope and knots, so it seems like a natural avenue to explore.

Friend is coming over to work out this afternoon, then date with the hot girl this evening.

Everything indicates that the date should go well. Confirmed this morning. During messaging, she ran with the opener and said she would only respond to "Sexy" from now on. Seems like a good way to greet her when we meet in person - an inside joke, plus forwardness. Still, I'm nervous as fuck... Maybe I'll say a prayer.

Dear sweet lord baby Jesus, thank you for your gift of penis pumps and vibrators and alcohol and sexy clothes, so we might give hedonic pleasure to one another. Thank you for making sexy women, and for making me a horny, evil white cis her male with the corresponding drive to put my penis in them. Please give me the courage to be direct with this smokin hot babe about how much I want to fuck her, and the mental fortitude to physically escalate as much as possible, so I can take her back to my place, rip her clothes of, and make her cum over and over and over again, for ever and ever. Amen.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Sat Oct 16, 2021 4:30 am

Date with hit girl went ok. Got a kiss, but said she just got out of an LTR and wants to take it slow. No problem. Asked her if she's free Thursday, she said maybe, followed up with text. We'll see.

So no pull, but got some confidence with a more attractive girl. Also, I'm getting quicker - in and out in 1:15.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:09 pm

Yesterday, had 3 dates scheduled. One was a 2nd date - she rescheduled, but agreed to come straight to my place. Then evening date "rainchecked". So one date in the afternoon. Didn't go exactly as planned... Place we agreed on had some live music, so it was packed and extremely loud - we decided to go elsewhere, but found a lot of places closed. Additionally difficult, since she was gluten free, so we couldn't just get beer. Convo was also strange - sometimes she'd be into it, sometimes she seemed distracted. Went for the pull, and it was also strange - she waffled for a second between "maybe later today" and "next time" before settling on "next time". Walked her back to her car, got a kiss but she wasn't super into it. Followed up, but no response yet, so I'm not counting on it.

I'm increasingly disliking daytime dates - definitely saps some of the sexual energy from the situation, and I need as much of that as I can get. Also, lesson learned - have a backup plan. Honestly I'm kinda disappointed by the lack of success lately. A few factors might be playing into it.

First, I keep setting up dates too far in advance because I already have dates set up in the nearer term. But this is kind of a bad cycle to be in. Dates set up too many days out tend to flake more often, so I end up with a bunch of flakes. Also, too many days out gives the girl too much time to think about, and then forget about, me - it becomes a chore to do on her calendar that she feels bad about bailing on, instead of something she's looking forward to.

Second, I don't feel as desperate and excited anymore. I got the goal and checked the box and am now just coasting, and am not really pushing myself to go for it. This might be coming off, making me seem less sexual, and therefore, less attractive.

But then, there's also the null hypothesis - I got lucky a couple times early on, but a certain proportion of women simply won't be down, and I'm experiencing regression towards the mean. I will presumably improve over time simply through exposure, and I should just see this as getting reps in.

But really, it's kinda wearing me down. Ate a bunch of crap food last night and drank a bunch - don't even know why. Currently recovering from the hangover. Have another afternoon date scheduled today, but might cancel just because I don't wanna take the time out of my day. Plus, botched the planning, so it's across town. Then in the evening, the tall blonde girl is coming to my place.

What I really need to do is shift how I'm veiwing dates. It's no longer my priority, and I have other shit to do. So when I show up, I need to remember why I'm there - to chill out, have a good time, and figure out if the girl is dtf as soon as possible, because I honestly *do* have other things I could be doing instead.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:38 pm

There is no 'lack of success' lately, you're arranging dates, that is amazing and I'm happy for you. That is success dude.

The more dates you go on, the more experience you get, both just dating and having connection, then possibly exploring intimacy with them on (hopefully) a longer-term basis if they will see you casually until you're ready for serious stuff.

This looks like standard solid self-improvement to me. You're doing very well.

All a process bro. Keep working.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Oct 18, 2021 6:04 pm

@MakingAComeback lol, you're right. I'm being a dumbass. The hedonic treadmill strikes again!

I have to remember that this is all part of the process. I'm still in the mindset that I need to "convince" girls that they want to sleep with me, which I guess is what I'm really fretting about. Instead, I need to loosen up my filter and enjoy the ride, but that'll come with time and practice.

Another win - now that I've had some success, I'm being more open with people in my life about dating. This really happened almost by necessity, since I needed to explain why I always had plans I was scheduling around. Not totally open about it - I think most of the people I've talked to think I'm just aggressively pursuing an LTR, and I haven't told anyone I'm going after younger women for fear of being judged. But I'm actually quite happy I've been able to express this much, and it's a good step on the path of bringing my life in harmony.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Wed Oct 20, 2021 4:24 am

Lay #3:

Petty good, weird night.

Last night I was looking forward to date 2 w/ the tall blonde. But she says she's on her period and asks to rain check. No problem - we reschedule for Thursday, the only day I have open this week.

A couple hours later, I get another text. Girl had flaked on a date last week saying she was sick, asked to reschedule, then stopped responding. Figured she ghosted. Then she texts back today, saying she's feeling better. Crap, my week's booked. She's got weekend plans. Damn, so looks like I'm penciling her in for next week? She comes back and says she:s free today, too...

Fuck it. I schedule her for early afternoon, so I'll have 2.5 h before my already scheduled date.

She shows up, and she's ready to fuck. Sits on the same side of the table as me even when I'm a dumbass and don't initiate it. Wrapping her legs around mine under the table. At one point we just mutually go for the kiss, pound the remainder of our beers, and head to mine.

I use the wand on her. She loves it. And she's pretty loud, too. Walls here are pretty thin, so definitely anyone home heard her telling me to fuck her harder. Sent her on her way after tentatively scheduling another date for next week.

Then turned around, showered, and jumped in the car just in time to get to my next date. Was kinda excited by the possibility of fucking two girls in one night, but this date turned out to be a dud. Nothing really wrong, but I wasn't super attracted to the girl, and we had extremely platonic energy. Actually a cool person, but it wasn't going anywhere.

Now tired and pretty happy, and making a note to look into how to properly sanitize sex toys.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Thu Oct 21, 2021 1:35 pm

Yesterday was a struggle. Woke up at, like, midnight and went through the day like a zombie. Tried multiple times to take a nap, but then 5 min in something would pop into my head and I'd jump up and start doing it, and then feel exhausted again.

Went on a date. Wasn't attracted to her. Had to remind myself not to beat myself up for not making moves and "practicing". Instead, just tried to focus on not giving a shit and being unfiltered. Wrapped up pretty early, which was good. But then I was on edge and overate - bad habits die hard. At least I went to sleep at a decent time.

Honestly, there's a lot of chaos in my life right now cause by meeting all these girls, and it's taking away from my time and mental capacity to pursue the goals I need to be pursuing right now. So I'm gonna stop setting up dates with new women unless they're either extremely attractive, or seem like people I'd just genuinely get along with. It's something my brain is having a hard time wrapping itself around, but I genuinely don't have the time to date everyone who's willing to date me.

Tall blonde girl is coming over tonight. Looking forward to a relaxing evening of fucking a girl, instead of going out and meeting someone new.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Thu Oct 21, 2021 5:08 pm

3 lays my man, you are on the rocket ship to the moon.

Keep hammering,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Thu Oct 21, 2021 7:21 pm

I know you can hear me hammering - sounds like "bang, bang bang!"
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Fri Oct 22, 2021 1:02 pm

Well, had my first honest-to-goodness flake last night. And I am *mildly* annoyed. I'm confused, because we already slept together and all indications were that she had a great time and wanted to come back. But whatever, maybe she has her reasons, but they are unknowable. I'm also angry, because why the hell would you make plans *and then* ghost? I could have been doing other things, instead of wondering if she was gonna come around. Like, what the hell? Very rude. I'm gonna text her today to tell her to keep me in the loop about STIs/pregnancy, and that'll be that. Shitty, but I knew this was gonna be part of the game from the start, so at least I've had my first exposure to it.

Otoh, that meant I got to go to bed early last night. Good thing, since I have 2 dates tonight, with one being at the unreasonable hour of 10:30 at night.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Radical
Posts: 1726 | Thanks: 1439
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:02 pm
Name: Cam
Goal: Funnel/Product Building
Age: 29
Motto: Take drastic action

Fri Oct 22, 2021 5:03 pm

These are the ones that hurt more imo, the ghostings that happen after you hook up

To some extent its good you are getting a bit of exposure to it
User avatar
Holden
Posts: 1620 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2021 1:36 pm
Goal: Rotation
Age: 28

Sat Oct 23, 2021 7:33 am

It could be anything and it's not always your fault.
  • She inexplicably "didn't feel a connection" despite the fact that you felt an amazing connection
  • She's also dating a prospective boyfriend and wants to get a "bad boy fuck" out of her system before she gets serious with this guy
  • She had a great time and felt a good connection but saw another girl on your social media the day after, and decided to ditch you for that
  • She was blown away and realized she might get feelings if she keeps seeing you so she just dumps you instead
All of these have happened to me. You could argue none of these are my fault, but knowing you did everything right and it still doesn't work out is a shitty feeling in its own right.
Laycount: 100

My Log

Primary goal:
- Rotation of three girls (DONE)
- Regular threesomes (DONE)
- A foursome
User avatar
Dewm
Posts: 346 | Thanks: 140
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2020 6:53 am
Name: Brady
Goal: Love Myself
Age: 35
Motto: Fuck Bitches Get Money
Location: New York, NY

Sun Oct 24, 2021 12:31 am

Holden wrote:
Sat Oct 23, 2021 7:33 am
She was blown away and realized she might get feelings if she keeps seeing you so she just dumps you instead
I have a strong feeling this happened with my last hookup. Glad to see it's more of a common problem then I realized.
Goals
Love Myself
  • Finish my screenplay and make that movie.
  • Produce a comedy show that makes me money
  • Lose weight and gain muscle
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Sun Oct 24, 2021 4:15 pm

Thanks guys, I was definitely feeling all of that. It's just life - you can do everything right and still get hit by a truck.

However, I actually have an update on that - sent her a text saying "hey, its cool if you don't wanna see me again, but keep me in the loop about STI's/Pregnancy", and she got back to me. Said she was still on her period and had just had a busy week, and apologized for not responding. She said she "maybe" wants to meet up again, and she'll contact me when her life is less hectic. I'm kinda assuming this is a soft no, but w/e, getting any response was really nice.

Ok, Regular log updates:

Had a bunch of dates set up for the weekend.

B early Friday evening
T late (10:30) Friday evening
R Saturday morning (climbing date)
Sh Saturday night
D Sunday afternoon
So Sunday night


Friday, sent two confirmation texts to both dates. B said she'd double booked me because she's bad at scheduling, so I bumped Sh (who I wasn't super stoked on) and rescheduled for Saturday evening. T was an enthusiastic yes... when her shift ended, 30 min away in Boulder. Not ideal logistics, but she was hot and liked the fact that I was pushing the conversation forward. Since logistics were bad, I tried to be as blunt as possible, asking if her place was good to go afterwards. She was giving me all green lights, so I was pretty hopeful. But actually showing up, I realized later that the bad logistics had put me way out of my depth.

Late at night - I try to go to sleep at 10. So at 10:30, it was a battle to maintain any kind of energy levels.

After her shift - her shift ran long, so she was harried when I met her and I just had to chill while she finished up. Not ideal for setting a mood.

In a place I didn't know. This was the worst one - since I don't know the Boulder bar scene, I basically put the ball in her court, and she took it *aaaaall* the way in her court. Went to a loud bar where she's a regular, where she seemed to know about half the people there. I was way too low energy for this environment and super stiff.

With all this, I found it difficult to snap into gear and make moves, and ended up delaying by drinking more. It seemed the two of us had very different plans for the night - I knew I had to wake up early tomorrow, but she apparently wanted to stay up late and get wasted. After dragging my feet for too long, I went for the pull, got turned down, and headed out.

Retrospective -

Someone more skilled than me definitely could have made it work, I think. She was physically attracted to me, but my stiffness and our different plans for the evening blew my chance. If I'd pushed for better logistics, I probably would have gotten them, but I didn't because she was giving me so much positive feedback earlier. Even if I agreed to the bad logistics, I should have been clear that I had other things to do, and wouldn't be closing down the bars with her. So I failed here on two fronts - the lesser failure was that I didn't pull. But the bigger failure was that I wasted a ton of time and cut into my sleep for no reason because I wasn't explicit enough about what I wanted. Lesson learned.

So I get home too late, chug water, and set 3 alarms for 6am. 6am comes far too early, and I chug some more water while throwing shit in the van. Get to the meeting spot with R right on time. I always kinda roll my eyes when I read PUAs talk about "high quality women", because they're clearly just trying to pretend like they aren't the shallow motherfuckers they are. So it was funny to me that I was on a date with their platonic ideal of a "high quality woman". R was hot, and came from a wealthy family, and was working on her PhD in Chemistry doing research on enzymes for manufacturing biofuels. She's also a gumby, but she had some basic skills for sport climbing - perfect.

Date plan was that I would rope gun The Young And The Rackless - super classic 5.9 sport climb. My only worry was that we might get stuck with a bunch of other parties on the route, which would kill the mood. But holy shit, everything went perfect. When we show up at the base, we're the only ones there - I use the opportunity to kiss her the first time. She's kind of shy, and apologizes that she's bad at kissing. Awww. Just as I tie in, two old guys walk up, planning on doing the same route, and we make some friendly chit chat at the base. I'm pretty sure they know *exactly* what's going on, and they end up winging for me the whole route - giving us space so we can make out at the belays, helping her out with rope management when I'm on the next pitch, giving me compliments about how strong I am in front of her. I kiss her at every belay, and start grabbing her ass while reracking draws. We simulrap on the decent and I put us in position to kiss during a free-hanging rappel, too. We pack up, head down to the van, and make out for a while on my bed while I feel her up. She says she's on her period, so we can't fuck. We also talk a bit - she's looking for a relationship and wouldn't have given me her number, except that I invited her to go climbing, which she's into right now. She was down for a fwb relationship, but not if I was going out with other girls. I said I was, she said it's good I'm honest. We go out again and climb a few more pitches, make out some more. At one point she smacks my ass while I'm bent over flaking the rope. We go to the van again, make out more aggressively, clothes come off. No fucking, but she gives me a hj after I strip her down to her panties.

Now, some feminists have argued that defining sex only as when a penis enters a vagina is a patriarchal viewpoint - after all, are lesbians scissoring not having sex? So in the interest of fighting the patriarchy, I'm gonna count cumming on this girl's stomach while I was squeezing her tits as LAY #4. Thank you, feminists, for increasing my body count.

This date also checked a minor item on my bucket list - the belay ledge make out - which is only on there because it's one of the ongoing battles in the climbing community culture wars.

https://www.mountainproject.com/forum/t ... e-climbing

So I wanted to tick that box for the lulz.

It was kind of weird, though, because she was pretty non-communicative/non-expressive. She was leaning into it, feeling me up, but she never made any sounds or had much of a reaction to anything, mostly just smiling coyly the whole time. A couple times I asked her if she was having a good time, if she liked X, how I could make her feel good, but each time she just kind of diverted the question, saying things like "no, but this feels nice". The impression I got was that she was inexperienced and nervous, but didn't want to admit it. In the future in this situation, I think I'll push harder to get a straight answer so I can make sure she's having the best time possible, but at the end of the day, I can't really force her to talk about it if she doesn't want to.

Anyway, we clean up and she takes a nap in the back while I drive us out of the canyon. I drop her at her car, head back to my place, shower, and go straight to the bar to meet my next date with B.

The contrast is striking. B was just a legit badass who had just finished up a day of soloing an enchainment of the flatirons. The conversation is pretty good, but I'm still pretty nervous - we finish our drinks, ask what she wants to do now. She says "whatever you want". Lol, perfect opening, so I lean in and kiss her. Massive, massive contrast with R, B reacts A TON to even the slightest stimulation. Each time we kiss, she seems to go into a trance that takes her a couple seconds to wake up from when we break apart. She's moaning into my mouth just from me feeling her up on her waist or thigh. At one point she moves my hand and just puts it straight on her breast under her jacket, so now I'm getting to second base in the bar. BUT, when I go for the pull, she turns me down. I have an inkling and ask if she has a "not on the first date" rule. "Maaaaaybeeee". Yeah, probably a good call for her. We leave the bar and head over to her car. She's a tiny Asian girl (I'm betting Filipina), and can't possibly weigh more than 100 lbs. So when we kiss good night I pick her up and push her against her car, and she's *really* into it. Scheduled another date with her next week. I'm stoked!

Later that night D sends me a text cancelling for tomorrow. This would have been our second date, and she's agreed to come straight to mine. But she said after our date she realized she really was looking for something long term. I said no problem. Then we expressed mutual disappointment that we no longer had an excuse to hang out. I'm honestly bummed about it because she *was* really cool and I was looking forward to hanging out with her.

And now today, I have a break from stuff which I'm gonna use to help my friend paint his house and work on my bike. Then just one date tonight, thank God!
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
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