Svadhishthana's log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
Post Reply
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Sat Aug 21, 2021 9:32 am

Svadhishthana wrote:
Sat Aug 21, 2021 8:29 am
Slammed by work today again. Then, a friend had a going away party. So I missed my workout. Will try to make it up tomorrow morning.

As I parked my car on the street to head to my friends apartment, a girl slowed down in her car and told me I was looking good. Wtf? It took a couple moments to register, so I was confused and couldn't thank her. One of my female friends at party also complimented my appearance. Said I looked good since I was put together for once, like I was gay. I'll take it as a compliment. Gay guys know the importance of looking good.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Looks like you got cold approached, you are obv a massive, massive Chad

Chadzilla in the house

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Aug 23, 2021 3:26 am

Ha! Thanks MAC, but it sounds like you're blowing me out of the water already in your log!

Not much to report on. Mostly a dead weekend in terms of girls. Made some good conversation with strangers at the crag today - bringing the camera helps. Seems like everybody likes having nice pictures of themselves. Plus it's easy to explain the camera at the crag - everyone wants their supersweetclimbingactionshots. Plus ,sent the proj I found a week ago.

But once I got home I realized I'd made no real progress on the girls front, and decided to push my head a bit. I'm self conscious about taking my own picture in public, so I jumped on my bike and rode downtown to the most popular park in the city with my camera. Set it up on a tripod under a bright lamp - anyone walking past could see me, and immediately knew I was getting pictures of myself like the vain asshole I am. Spent maybe 10 min tooling with the camera before packing it up. Had a knot in my stomach the whole time, but consciously it just became pretty apparent that nothing bad was going to happen. Probably some people glanced at me and continued walking. Maybe they were curious. Maybe they thought I was weird. Oh well. Worst that would happen is someone would come up and ask what I was up to, and take an interest in the camera. Won't say I've totally gotten over this, but progress.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Mon Aug 23, 2021 1:48 pm

Thanks brother, but really, I am still grinding to make my first bit of real progress. Still not at the starting line of the race yet, but I will arrive in due time.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Tue Aug 24, 2021 6:28 pm

Sleeping not going great. Sunday, stayed up about an hour late. Which would be fine if I was getting back on track yesterday. But I stayed up even later last night - no good reason for it either. Just screwing around on my phone for that cheap dopamine hit because I'm stressed out. Also, overate yesterday. At least I was cognizant of it. I think I was aware at each meal that I was eating faster than I should - that instead of enjoying the food and using it as an opportunity to appreciate some downtime, I was shoving it in my mouth in a desperate attempt to feel good.
Being under stress, I should recognize this as a good opportunity to practice food and sleep skills, like relaxing in bad even though I am stressed, and stopping eating when full instead of overeating. Maybe by recognizing these things, I actually am improving... But really, I feel like I'm not making progress on health stuff, not really committed, and don't really have an end date. It's just not tangible enough to be a real goal or something. I want a Mission, and there's no do or die in sleeping. There's no finish line for "do reasonable things for the rest of your life." It's all chill and relax... Maybe time to move on. But maybe all the stress I'm under right now really makes it the right time to focus on "chill out and relax". If I'm already getting my ass kicked, should take on additional challenges?

The problem, obviously, is an incongruence in my actions. The challenges I'm facing and the stress I'm under is due to things coming up at work. But because I can't bring myself to give a shit about it, I feel like I haven't made any meaningful progress in my life if all I do is rest and recover when I'm not working. And then, since I'm under a bunch of stress and feel like I'm making no progress in my life, I find it difficult to rest and recover.

Really, I have three things holding me back in dating right now. First is looks. I need better style and grooming, and a real cut to show off my abs would be good. However, I want to feel confident in my picture taking abilities first, because I probably won't be able to maintain the cut for long. Second is photos. I need better ones. And I know how to do that - photos project. Third is social anxiety around dating, photos, my sexuality. Overcome this by "coming out", exposure therapy, etc.

But then, maybe none of this matters, because my life might get sucked up by house stuff again in a week. Two roommates are moving out at the end of September, so I need to post up ads and start doing tours at the beginning of September, which is in about a week. As part of this, I need to build a closet in the room I'm currently in, since I'll be moving out of there and renting it to a girl (finally getting a 3/3 gender balance in the house!). And then I need to reshoot photos for the back yard (fire pit added), back deck (repainted, looks nicer), and garage (added home wall). Then, post ads. Hopefully, the closet and shooting pics should only take a day or two.


Meanwhile, have been thinking about dating logistics...

Also, I need to figure out date spots, and figure out my transitions -
Where to meet? Nearby, good atmosphere, side by side seating.
How to head back to mine? Presumably drive separate, but taking the bike could be a bonus. Should fix things on the bike and practice riding with a pillion.
I have a bunch of roommates - where can I start making out with her where we won't be disturbed? Van? Garage? Back yard? Hammock? Transition by going through my window (if so, clean up under porch).
Get warmer / larger comforter, and clean up room.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
canderson
Posts: 121 | Thanks: 6
Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2021 4:56 am
Goal: Travel
Age: 28

Tue Aug 24, 2021 10:00 pm

Hey man it's great that you recognize all these opportunities for improvement. I think if you pick one or two things to work on at a time you'll eventually make a lot of progress.
Svadhishthana wrote:
Tue Aug 24, 2021 6:28 pm
Just screwing around on my phone for that cheap dopamine hit because I'm stressed out.
Are you on your phone in bed before sleeping? One of the biggest improvements for my sleep was to put my phone far away from my bed. If you need to replace it with something, you can get a physical book or ebook reader.
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Wed Aug 25, 2021 4:19 am

canderson wrote:
Tue Aug 24, 2021 10:00 pm
Hey man it's great that you recognize all these opportunities for improvement. I think if you pick one or two things to work on at a time you'll eventually make a lot of progress.
For sure! That's more or less what I'm doing right now. The goals listed in my forum signature are written in prioritization order. One takes priority at a time, until it's on autopilot, then I can move down the list. Problem is, I suppose, that #1 is getting needy again, so I need to reprioritize it. I'm stressed and sleeping poorly because work is kicking my ass and I have to do shit in my house on a deadline. And this is contributing to lack of sleep and overeating. So, priorities shift to that. I was just indecisive because I was trying to see the world that I wanted to be, rather than the world that is. Thanks for the clarity. And I moved my phone charger away from my bed.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Wed Aug 25, 2021 2:33 pm

Ok, back on track - get shit done for the house, stay employed. Did some work on the closet after work yesterday, so my room is currently an explosion of all the stuff that was in the non-closet closet space, construction equipment, and sawdust. Will hopefully finish most of this today, though I plan to do some staining and varnishing, which will require drying time and probably require me to vacate the room for a bit (though.... maybe it would help me sleep...).

After that, need to do a bit of cleanup around various places to get the house ready for more pics. Then shoot the pics and post the ad.

Will continue trying to be mindful of my food intake and regular in my sleep during this time, but it will not be a priority. Honestly, this is a relief, since these things are so unmeasurable. And really, this is more in line with the advice given in the books I've been reading anyway.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Thu Aug 26, 2021 2:14 pm

Work still hammering me. However, almost have the closet done - just need to add the coat hanger pole. Then will put up a couple hangboards for ambiance, and start shooting. Hopefully finish up shooting before the weekend.

Have been delaying talking to my lender because I'm gonna change banks before offering again. My current bank fucked up a few times and caused a lot of trouble for both him and I last time, so I'm following my rule - don't say sorry, say you've fixed it. But I've been procrastinating that because changing banks seems like such a mind numbingly boring task, with the bonus stress of possibly getting hit with fees if I forget that XYZ is still charging my old bank account. But all this work stress really has me wanting to know exactly what date I'll be able to start offering on.

Andy's podcast pairs well with mindless manual labor. Reminds me that if I hurry the fuck up, I can start working on what I really want to be working on.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Thu Aug 26, 2021 3:38 pm

Keep going brother keep going.

Work every day champ, we are both making it happen.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Sun Aug 29, 2021 3:25 pm

Thanks MAC. I feel like I got hit by a train today - but you should see the train!

Missed posting for a couple days because my life is a wreck. Not that I haven't had time. Just didn't want to muster the emotional energy to admit all my fuckups.

Thursday night I take a ride up into the mountains. Going great. It's fun. I'm not thinking about work. Then I pull over in a town for a second to check my map, and my engine dies. Fuck. Crank no-start. Luckily a friend is nearby - we stash the bike in a parking lot and he gives me a ride home.

Friday - I get a rental truck and coerce some friends into helping me with promises of beer and food. We grab the bike and get it back to my place.

Saturday - I'm really close to being able to deliver something for work, but there was a hiccup Friday. I spend 12 hours trying to fix the problem, thinking I'm always just around the corner from resolving it. But eventually I've boxed myself into a corner. Realize I'm gonna have to scrap all my work from the day and start over. My brain is totally fried and I feel like shit. Naturally, I want my body to follow my mind, so I binge on fast food and alcohol. Then proceed to fuck around on the internet until 3 am.

Also, been eating like crap generally and missing workouts. Still need to post my ad for the house. Jesus, I just need to get work off my back.

Plan for today is to implement a quick hack for the code at work. Then take updated pics for the ad for the house. Then put an updated ad together. Ping the roommates moving out that I'll be showing their rooms in the next month so please be kinda sorta tidy. Workout. Buy groceries. If I have time, troubleshoot the bike a bit - that's my reward. Today will be better. Today, I will be better.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Mon Aug 30, 2021 4:44 pm

And that is absolutely normal, the best thing you can do is hold yourself accountable, which you did - if you keep holding yourself accountable, you will keep improving as a person. It sounds like the week hit you with a lot of shit, created a lot of stress, and basically was just a challenging week. We all have these. It may be time for a recharge day. You know what you need to do. The momentum will build up again and you will be attacking.

Totally, totally normal man - this road is a fucking bumpy one. No tree can grow to heaven unless it has it's roots in hell.

Keep hammering,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Aug 30, 2021 5:20 pm

Thanks MAC - yeah, just one of those weeks. Used to be my life was like that for months at a time, just sitting at my computer cursing my job for 14 hours a day. But thankfully, it's become less common over the last couple years.

Did pretty good yesterday. Code hacked. Got the shots I needed for the house, just need to edit them for ads. Then post the ad on the first of the month. Most meal prep is now mostly done. And I got a workout in. Was pretty powered down for it, but w/e. After, did some troubleshooting on the bike w/ my roomie. Seems there's at least two issues. One is that the starter circuit relay is shot, so no power is going to the starter when I push the ignition button. So I need to fix (or hack) that before I can start working on the real issue - the crank no-start.

Its funny that I was actually quite motivated and productive yesterday. It seems like this happens sometimes when I'm hungover. Two hypotheses: one is that I feel bad about the night before, so I work extra hard during the day to make up for it. Two is just that I carbo-loaded the day before, which just gives me an an excess of easily available energy. Another thing I've noticed is that my abs often come out more after a night of drinking, which is funny, since when I wake up hungover, I feel fat and flabby and sloppy. Hypothesis here is simply that after a night of drinking, I'm more dehydrated, and I guess I carry water weight on top of my abs.

Today, try to push out a code fix for work, then edit photos and get my ad all ready to post on the 1st. And finish meal prep. And work out. And review my bank statements so I can change banks without getting hit with fees due to charges on an empty bank account. And then troubleshoot the bike some more.

Man, all this life shit... I've been meaning to reevaluate what my goals are right now for a bit, and how to hit them. Especially #3.

For #1, I need to change banks, then talk to my lender to find my earliest possible offering date. I also need to stay employed so I can qualify for loans - ideally, I could do the bare minimum amount of work each day to keep my projects on schedule, and then fuck off and pursue my other goals. And then, since I'm planning on the Airbnb route, I need to do lots of research into how exactly to make that all work. Also want to read up on principles of interior decorating, since that is my biggest weakness, and it will be a big focus when doing an STR, since I'll be doing *all* the decorating. Plus, I need to fill two rooms when two people move out at the end of September.

For health, I think things are going pretty well if I take a long view. I already built the habit of being consistent with workouts, and the workouts my trainer is giving me are getting me stronger without getting injured. I finished my fat loss book, and am practicing the things it talks about. I am working through the sleep book and trying to implement the things it talks about. The running theme in the two books is mindfulness, and so really the next step here is to start meditating regularly again. But all in all, health is on the right track and should take relatively little maintenance effort.

Finally, girls. Let's say that with about a month of being a fucking autist on dates, I can get a girl to jump in bed with me. But that implies I can get a date, which ain't happening with my current profile. So let's say I take a month to improve my profile - finish my project of copying all the pics in the inspiration article, then some more pics which I come up with ideas for myself. Plus, lose some weight so I actually have abs. So that would be two months of effort.

So, a timeline:

Now:
- Knock shit out for work, so it will get off my back. Get the client to shut the fuck up by the end of the week. Move on to other projects that aren't a total dumpster fire.
- Start meditating every morning at the same time. Last time I was really successful with this, I started with one single minute each day when I woke up, before I even got out of bed, and improved from there.
- Post ad for new tenants.
- Start planning a real cut to bring out my abs.

September:
- Knock shit out at work.
- Keep meditating and doing what I can for health.
- Read RE books at meals and before sleep when possible.
- Show off the house to prospective tenants. Get two leases signed. Sigh of relief.
- Lose weight and get sexy.
- Copy all remaining pics in inspiration article.
- Take additional pics at the end of the month, when I'll be better with the camera and the most cut.

October:
- Knock shit out at work.
- Keep meditating and doing what I can for health.
- Read RE books at meals and before sleep when possible.
- Hopefully actually get some dates.
- Keep taking pics and losing weight if needed.
- Learn photoshop to improve pics more.
- Actually get fucking laid.

November:
- Knock shit out at work.
- Keep meditating and doing what I can for health.
- Actively prioritize learning RE stuff.
- Turn 29 again.
- Hopefully continue getting laid.

December:
- Knock shit out at work.
- Keep meditating and doing what I can for health.
- Actively prioritize learning RE stuff.
- Turn 29 again.
- Hopefully continue getting laid.
- Learn how to make several low-calorie mixed drinks.
- Prep car for winter travel in the high mountains.

January:
- Do the absolute bare minimum at work.
- Try to keep meditating. Expect mental and physical health to go into steep decline.
- Drink to excess.
- Expect to spend at least one night in a shiver bivy when my car slides into a ditch.
- Become a negative millionaire.

February:
- Close on a place if I haven't already, and move into it.
- Head-down, fix everything that needs fixing. Furnish the place. Make an ad. Start makin' that money.
- Put in my two weeks. Manly tears of joy.

This schedule is definitely aggressive. I'm an idiot for even taking the time to write it down, and I will clearly fail because I'm over committing myself, and do not have the habits, motivation, or mental fortitude to actually make it happen. I will destroy myself physically and mentally trying to do something that is clearly impossible. But then again, life's not about making good decisions.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Tue Aug 31, 2021 5:42 pm

Killed it yesterday. Meditated, did some editing on the pics I took. Looked up my old spreadsheets from when I did keto - I can just follow that again.

Work was stupid again. Thought I'd be able to push something out in the morning. Instead, spent the whole day configuring and troubleshooting issues in the clients test environment. At 430, I ran into one last issue that I would need their IT to take care of, so I sent an email and called it a day. A friend came over and we worked out together and ate dinner. After he left, I saw an email from the client - apparently they fixed my issue already... very unusual for their IT department. It was already almost my bed time at that point, but I rallied and said fuck it. Not getting fired is first priority, health is second priority, and managed to wrap up something to deploy around midnight. Glad I have the blue light blocking glasses - I felt kinda drowsy the whole time and fell asleep pretty quick after that.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Tue Aug 31, 2021 6:15 pm

As I'm gonna start getting serious about losing weight, here's a bathroom selfie with my current state. 186.2 lbs.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Wed Sep 01, 2021 6:14 pm

Hacked at work yesterday again. So close to having something to deliver...

Posting my ad today or tomorrow.

Also, went through all the shots I'm gonna do and made a list of clothes to get and locations to find. Will need to average around 1.6 shots per day, so will really need to dedicate more time to this than I have in the past, and find ways of getting shots quicker.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
Post Reply