Post-AA Program Log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Sat Jul 24, 2021 2:11 am

My old log is here https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums ... ing-points

I realize now that this is the more active forum, so I'll continue it here.

For context, I completed AA program over on GLL over 8-9 months and now I'm approaching for numbers/dates. I still live with my parents but I'm working on moving out into my own place (buying condo downtown, not renting). My last post I went out a few days ago, went on an insta 1-2 hour date with the girl that was really into me. I might have fucked it up towards the end (the date went a bit cold towards the end, she was still laughing towards the end though. I don't know how I could invite her back home at my place though, its a far drive away, also the date might have went on a bit long or something). Honestly I was jacked to the tits regardless, because this (cold approaching and then going on an insta-date) has always been a life goal of mine. I never screamed so loudly from joy after that date ever. Or from any date ever.

So today I decided to write it off. Scheduled second dose for covid and was prepared to write the day off. Honestly I feel fine though, don't know what people we're talking about feeling terrible. I would have scheduled my week differently had I known (ie. planned to approach today).

I called the bank today for pre-approval on a mortgage. Talked for an hour and a half with this girl, found out she was in the same city as me and everything. Of course no idea what she looks like but whatever, she was chill. She even said at the end of the call that she REALLY enjoyed talking to me (I fucking just talked for an hour straight making jokes and just talking about whatever.... it sounds retarded but this whole cold approach thing has got me really good at running my mouth now... she was laughing the whole time and joking with me though). She even went out of her way to tell me my credit score (she isn't supposed to) and give me the best possible service. I was going to ask her on a date but then she said she'd call me back in a few business days to get me the total amount.

Here's where I'm pissed at myself. I chickened out asking her out/phone number. I legit thought "well if I'm going to talk to her in a few days, I don't want to make it awkward asking her now". But fuck she told me she really liked talking to me, I mean that's a freaking open invite to at least ask her for her number. Plus I could have just told her how I really feel that honestly I'm totally cool with rejection (getting rejected a shitload of times will do that to ya). And, what pisses me off most, there's no guarantee I'll speak to her again.

I fucked up on an opportunity and I need to learn to seize the opportunity when its presented. I keep doing this "don't want to make it awkward thing" and it fucks me up. This is me taking ownership of this.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Mon Jul 26, 2021 3:38 am

Approached about 10ish girls over the course of the weekend. I'm not happy with how low that number is. I went out twice today for cold approach and didn't have time yesterday (but still did some as I went about my day). Almost all had boyfriends, got 1 number, and that number I retardedly didn't save it so that was actually a zero. I met this girl who, although has a boyfriend so instantly didn't continue the approach, was really chill and walked and talked with me as I headed back to my car. Actually the number I did get was while walking and chatting with her. Got some feedback on how to improve my approaches from her actually (I wave my hands too much when I'm nervous and talking in general, and that can be off putting) and how to improve my looks, which is pretty dope (she suggested ear piercings, which Andy also suggested). Also that girl I got the number from I approached when it was pitch black outside, but because I was so pumped up talking to the friend, I didn't even notice. I always had a lot of AA approaching pitch black.

Actually this weekend represents some of the firsts for me:
- First time going 5 days in a row with at least 1 approach (its somewhat integrating into my life).
- First time approaching a girl at the gym
- First time approaching a girl at night (and trying to get a number, this excludes the AA program)
- First time approaching a friend of a friend at a party
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Tue Jul 27, 2021 2:30 am

Went out again today, must have spoken to 5-6 girls. Approached about half when it was sundown and half at pitch black outside, honestly I had very little AA. Today was fantastic actually in that respect. Typical "hey your cute, are you single?". Every single girl had a boyfriend so it was a total bust in that respect, but the girls we're really nice and that cheered me up actually.

Been trying to keep a more chill demeanor, for the most part anyway. I like it since it requires less energy (and fuck walking takes a lot of energy). Also forces me to stop and think a bit more rather than just say whatever the first thing pops to mind.

I've been trying to work on eye contact before the approaches (this was one AA-program drill I just randomly ended up skipping at the time) and I'd say it works well. I get a bit self-conscious staring (its a bit creepy I'd imagine?). But I actually realize that eye contact is something I lack (I was that shy kid who couldn't really maintain eye contact with anyone, too afraid to start a fight or be creepy or whatever). Anyway it seems to "warm up" the approaches a bit when I can get eye contact at least a second before the interaction begins.

Honestly I realize posting here actually keeps me motivated.

Edit: I felt like this post was too positive, so to balance that out, I think I'd be worth discussing some of the lingering insecurities here.

My Tinder fucking sucks and I don't know what I'm doing wrong (the only thing I can think of is I don't have any outdoor pictures). Only girls I could match with (by the way, I haven't had any likes in days) are all severely overweight or really not pretty. Maybe I should give the less pretty ones a chance though (obese girls really aren't my thing), but its not the girls I want to match with to be honest.

Although I can approach some of the hotter girls now (I used to be deathly afraid), I find I might be missing out on the less hot ones that might be single (jesus christ like everyone I talk to has a boyfriend, FFS). I don't think they are lying necessarily, at least they seem honest enough, but I'm not sure if I'm just selecting from a "tougher" cohort of ladies or if the question "are you single?" gives them an easy out they all take? I find I waste a lot less time so I do like the "are you single" question very much though.

I've been training for 2 years, but I haven't gained really any weight on the bar since the lock down in my area recommenced last fall. I'm back at 235lbs squat (I was 295lbs before) and my bench unmoved if not slight decline (215lbs). I'm not sure if I should gain 5 pounds to fill up my shirts more (I don't look like I lift in a shirt) or lose 5 pounds to look better face wise.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
offwego
Posts: 167 | Thanks: 61
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:59 am
Name: Asim
Goal: Beat AA
Age: 30

Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:32 am

chocolate wrote:
Tue Jul 27, 2021 2:30 am
I've been trying to work on eye contact before the approaches (this was one AA-program drill I just randomly ended up skipping at the time) and I'd say it works well. I get a bit self-conscious staring (its a bit creepy I'd imagine?). But I actually realize that eye contact is something I lack (I was that shy kid who couldn't really maintain eye contact with anyone, too afraid to start a fight or be creepy or whatever). Anyway it seems to "warm up" the approaches a bit when I can get eye contact at least a second before the interaction begins.
Damn, I was looking forward to practically skipping that drill. I have the same problems with eye contact. Do you smile when you do eye contact?
Reach AA program milestone by Sunday Sept 26th
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Thu Jul 29, 2021 2:54 am

offwego wrote:
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:32 am
chocolate wrote:
Tue Jul 27, 2021 2:30 am
I've been trying to work on eye contact before the approaches (this was one AA-program drill I just randomly ended up skipping at the time) and I'd say it works well. I get a bit self-conscious staring (its a bit creepy I'd imagine?). But I actually realize that eye contact is something I lack (I was that shy kid who couldn't really maintain eye contact with anyone, too afraid to start a fight or be creepy or whatever). Anyway it seems to "warm up" the approaches a bit when I can get eye contact at least a second before the interaction begins.
Damn, I was looking forward to practically skipping that drill. I have the same problems with eye contact. Do you smile when you do eye contact?
For now not really, I suppose I might subconsciously keep a bit of smirk since I'm usually smiling. I'm just guessing here (I legitimately don't know what I'm talking about here), but I suspect it doesn't matter so much as actually having the eye contact. I'll make it a point to do this drill the next time I go out.


As for updates: I've been psychologically in a really weird place the last few days. I know I'm making progress but I'm not going to lie, the amount of work it takes to get numbers and dates from cold approach gets to me psychologically. Maybe its just all the physical walking + driving that gets to me; it could be the laziness cropping up here though.

Yesterday I stayed home, worked on learning the process of buying a property. I have a lot of work here. Financially so worth it though, its pretty much what rent would be (granted I no longer would have stocks, which sucks).

Today I only went to the gym and hit on one girl as she was leaving the gym. I botched the approach hard to be honest, and she was cold (didn't want to shake my hand, left almost immediately, etc). To be fair though, I also looked like shit, I usually bring my absolute crappiest clothes to the gym. The previous girl I approached at the gym I legitimately had holes in my shirt (like the story Andy tells). I think I've proved to myself that I'm actually approaching girls at the gym so I think its time I actually get some decent gym clothes.

What do you bald guys do at the gym? I sweat a shitload, I'm not sure if I want to take my nice hats into the workouts....
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1100
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
Location: Tokyo
Contact:

Thu Jul 29, 2021 4:42 am

chocolate wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 2:54 am
As for updates: I've been psychologically in a really weird place the last few days. I know I'm making progress but I'm not going to lie, the amount of work it takes to get numbers and dates from cold approach gets to me psychologically. Maybe its just all the physical walking + driving that gets to me; it could be the laziness cropping up here though.
You need to reframe your view on approaching. Focus less on being outcome oriented and focus more on improving your process of approaching.

If you keep viewing it as a job or a chore to go and approach you will not be able to continue to do it long term.
Enjoying the process of approach is as important as approaching itself.

If possible you should try and change your logistics so that approaching is so difficult. Like having a spot to approach that is closer to where you are living. That way you don't have to go so far out of the way to approach. If I had to drive 30+ min every time i wanted to approach i could see it becoming a chore.
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:23 am

I'll respond at the end of the post, I'd like to write my original thoughts here first.

Went out again today for about 2-3 hours or so, approached anywhere from 5-10 girls (I don't really count anymore to be honest). Spent about half of that shopping for clothes but I did approach the cute girl working there (boyfriend). I stopped approaching once I felt bummed out (all the girls were either unavailable or not single). I have got the compliment about having guts to approach a few times though, that kind of cheers me up when I hear that. I find I get discouraged really quickly once a few girls give me the boyfriend thing. The last two ladies I approached were really sweet, one told me "you made my day" and the other was super nice and friendly, a little bit of small talk was nice.

Man at some point when I was first starting I got a number out of like 1 out of 3 girls. I must have got really lucky at first, or been really selective, or went for less attractive girls, or something. Now its like 10-15 in a row with no success. Its probably peanut numbers but damn, it got a lot more real just how much approaching is really required. Damn.

For what its worth though, I might get a little bit of AA here and there (sometimes it takes a few seconds to build myself up for an approach in an unfamiliar situation), but in large part I feel pretty good. I won't say AA is over, not by a long short, but I'm at least a somewhat functional human being during an approach now.
Toast wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 4:42 am
Enjoying the process of approach is as important as approaching itself.
Thanks, I needed to hear that. You're right. It might be time I rethink how I integrate cold approach into my daily life. I've spent the past few minutes thinking about it and honestly, maybe walking around downtown alone with no music or purpose isn't the most fun thing. I should at least bring a guitar or some headphones hah. Maybe I'll restart an old dance hobby I had. I'll have to think about this.
Toast wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 4:42 am
If I had to drive 30+ min every time i wanted to approach i could see it becoming a chore.
Pretty much my situation right now.

You do bring up a good point though. I suppose I could try places closer to me. I don't live in the best neighborhood for approaching but its worth a shot. There are also a few universities a 5-10min drive away so I could try there too. I will say where I go now does have a very good concentration of women per sqft FWIW.

Thanks for you're feedback, it was insightful I have some thinking to do.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
offwego
Posts: 167 | Thanks: 61
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:59 am
Name: Asim
Goal: Beat AA
Age: 30

Fri Jul 30, 2021 2:23 am

I think it's too early to think about integrating approaching into your everyday life. You developed a very enviable (admittedly inchoate) ability through the AA program. You should make approaching your lifestyle for a while. Just like how the AA program is a lifestyle.
Reach AA program milestone by Sunday Sept 26th
User avatar
Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1100
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
Location: Tokyo
Contact:

Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:48 am

chocolate wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:23 am
I find I get discouraged really quickly once a few girls give me the boyfriend thing.
Something else you need to address.

Just the other day I went 1/25 and was on a 20 rejection streak with most of those women having boyfriends, or saying they do. The difference in my thinking is that I know for a fact that if I keep approaching it is literally inevitable that a success is bound. Like 100% guaranteed. Seems kind of outrageous to make a statement like this but it is in fact true. The one contact I got that day was from a girl who said she had a boyfriend. I said "well why don't we exchange numbers anyway?" she said " sure why not.

There are days where I have a positive tilt and I'm going 1/3 or 1/5 and I'm like WTF is going on right now. This is not normal.
Where as on days where I'm going 0/20 I'm like ok. this is good I must be doing something right.
Rejection is the outcome 99% of the time. It is NORMAL to get rejected. It is not normal to exchange.

Another thing is are you immediately ejecting yourself after the word boyfriend is mentioned? How many times are you pushing to exchange for the contact?

Not everyone wants to hook up with a girl who has a boyfriend. That's your prerogative. But id suggest treating post boyfriend as a time to experiment with being audacious with what you say. Be extra pushy, ask 10 times to get her number. It will surprise you how many women will exchange.

All this being said I have to include the disclaimer that I am an approach noob with only ~600 approaches under my belt at this time. I am still evolving myself, but what I write comes from more experienced people then myself as well as what I have experienced in my small amount of approaches as well.
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:35 pm

Went out today, took the tip from Toast and tried a location nearby. The area is more than acceptable, way better than I thought at least. Not perfect either, there are a lot of teenagers & like bearly 18 year olds here, which I suppose is a good challenge. I kinda feel a bit wierd hitting on girls the same age as my niece lol, although objectively there shouldn't be a problem with approaching an 19 year old. They're usually pretty hot anyway. Shrug.

Thanks for the tip about enjoying the approaches. I've been less focused on the outcome and been finding ways to enjoy the process (grabbing coffee, looking at condos, getting a vibe for the areas I might want to move to, etc). I went out today and I don't feel frustrated that I went 0/5-0/10 today (I really should start taking better count). I think the mental re framing (less outcome dependence, etc) is what I needed. At least, I look forward to going out again.
offwego wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 2:23 am
I think it's too early to think about integrating approaching into your everyday life.
I admit, I don't think I trust myself enough to just integrate it into my life and stop setting aside blocks of time for cold approach. If not at very least because most of my hobbies are quite loner type hobbies anyway that don't necessitate a lot of human contact (guitar & bench press aren't exactly sociable activities ya get my vibe?). That being said, ultimately I do want to be picking up girls efficiently like that GLL article suggests, so shrug that's probably where I'd like to end up one day.
Toast wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:48 am
The one contact I got that day was from a girl who said she had a boyfriend.
Actually interestingly enough I had the exact same experience about a week ago. Some girl with a boyfriend was basically following me around as I did approaches on other girls. First time I felt pressured since I had an "audience" for my approach haha. She was dope though, gave me plenty of good advice on how to improve my approaches and shit. Shes the only girl I have as a friend in my phone lol.

Its an interesting thought, there have been plenty of times where a girl offered me her number but "just as friends" or whatever. Generally I pretty much say no to stay focused on approaching more girls. And yeah usually when they have a boyfriend I pretty much eject right after. Maybe I'll start talking them post boyfriend discovery and keep talking just to see how it goes. Or pop the question a bit later in the interaction. Thanks for the tip.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1100
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
Location: Tokyo
Contact:

Sun Aug 01, 2021 8:14 am

Good shit dude. Sounds like you made some improvements
chocolate wrote:
Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:35 pm
I kinda feel a bit wierd hitting on girls the same age as my niece lol, although objectively there shouldn't be a problem with approaching an 19 year old. They're usually pretty hot anyway. Shrug.
Im having the same issue as well. If they're on the cusp of being 18 i tend to not approach. Just probably another form of approach anxiety. No harm approaching, asking their age and then immediately ejecting once you find out.
chocolate wrote:
Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:35 pm
She was dope though, gave me plenty of good advice on how to improve my approaches and shit. She's the only girl I have as a friend in my phone lol.
What exactly did she say? Id be careful with receiving advice from a chick.
chocolate wrote:
Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:35 pm
Its an interesting thought, there have been plenty of times where a girl offered me her number but "just as friends" or whatever. Generally I pretty much say no to stay focused on approaching more girls. And yeah usually when they have a boyfriend I pretty much eject right after. Maybe I'll start talking them post boyfriend discovery and keep talking just to see how it goes. Or pop the question a bit later in the interaction. Thanks for the tip.
Sounds like a shit test. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't give u her number. She would just reject you.

Another example. Today literally the first thing a girl said after i approached was "just so you know i have a boyfriend"
I just didn't react and said "cool, we can still meet up and grab a coffee." We exchanged after a little back and forth.
Pushing past the boyfriend stage is really up to you. if I'm hyper attracted to a girl ill push +5x times for their number. if I'm not feeling it ill eject. Really just depends on how you want to handle the approach in that moment.
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
User avatar
CainGettingLaid
Posts: 88 | Thanks: 202
Joined: Sun May 02, 2021 8:32 am
Name: Cain
Goal: sexual mastery
Age: 27
Location: Europe

Mon Aug 02, 2021 9:22 pm

Took the time to reply to your post on GLL from a few weeks ago. I once again want to say that finishing the drills you did finish is HUGE. Follow my advice and finish all the days you skipped, including physical and nighttime ones. They are important.

It is also pretty impressive to me that you managed to do so without sharing your journey. The feedback and encouragement from the other guys helped me a lot. Seeing that you are now here, I hope we can push you through the tough times whenever they come and accelerate your growth.

Maybe repost your leftover questions here and @Manganiello, @Toast, @Spazdig or any other of the more experienced guys can add their sauce.
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:32 am

Updates first, replies later:

So I did a few more approaches, must have been about 5-10 girls over the past few days. Rejected by all except tonight. Every day I try to at least do one approach (as per Andy, it was great advice). I've been trying to work it in with my work day to not much success; my work requires internet and cafe internet sucks. I've explored some of the areas near me as suggested by Toast, generally filled with teens & old people but there are a few pockets that seem better. On the days with more time though, the drive downtown seems to be worth the effort anyway, today I was downtown and had no problem finding people within my age. Plus university is coming back so the universities are crawling with cuties now. All the more reason to move out; I got pre-approved for a mortgage today lets gooo.

So finally I broke through the cold streak I've had and went on an insta date with a girl today. She was cute as hell (honestly she was pretty fucking hot), kinda weird and quirky personality but I liked it. She was sitting on a bench, I went up to her and after introducing myself I sat down with her. I can't believe I have the balls to do that (this was unbelievable to me a few months ago). Went to a bar, and then I drove her home. I tried to kiss her but I got rejected, but at least I tried. I tried to kiss her in my car which, man, its awkward.

I think my date drag on a bit too long and I go in without really much of a plan, which kills my prospects. End up talking about the same things over and over again which yeah, isn't good. The spark at the start of the date sort of dies off after a few hours. That being said though, I don't think it was a complete loss either, I feel more comfortable in my own skin on the date and can converse at least more honestly (less fear of rejection) than I could in some of the earlier dates. I'm still nervous as fuck, I still don't want to fuck it up pretty badly and I let my nice guy come out wayyy too much though.

This time I drove her home, she said she had to go and I proposed to drive her home and after a really strange back and forward she agreed to be driven home by me. I drive stick and had a ton of fun watching her try to drive my car. Back to the point though, I personally feel really weird, in a really illogical way, to ask a girl back to my car and back home.

This time I tried being really hands off, not pushing to hold hands or kiss (until the end). Just to see how it goes. Not sure how I feel about it, I think I would have preferred to be more hands on (hand holding at least).

Overall, I become paralyzed and "hang in there" on the dates instead of pushing to the next step (drive her home, etc), which really doesn't work. I'll have to work on this; coming up with a plan ahead of time and ending the dates after an hour or so like Andy suggests in his Tinder guide.

Also, as per my responses below, I'm 1) quitting pornography (I don't know about nofap quite yet), 2) work on my weakness (interrupting, or being "rude") by doing the "drill" cain suggested and 3) finish the rest of the AA program.

Toast wrote:
Sun Aug 01, 2021 8:14 am
Sounds like a shit test. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't give u her number. She would just reject you.
Perhaps, its a good point. Maybe I should push harder on those girls.
Toast wrote:
Sun Aug 01, 2021 8:14 am
Id be careful with receiving advice from a chick.
Haha your reading my mind I thought the same thing! She suggested I get ear piercings. Thankfully Andy wrote about this in his guide so I'm at least willing to give her the benefit that shes not full of shit. Anyway, its not something I've ever considered before (I thought it was gay herpderp). Studs look pretty cool imo but I'll have to do my DD first
Toast wrote:
Sun Aug 01, 2021 8:14 am
I just didn't react and said "cool, we can still meet up and grab a coffee." We exchanged after a little back and forth.
Wow thats interesting. I'll give it a go. I took the advice from Andy/Radicals videos and just "go next" on the girls that have a boyfriend, but yeah Andy did say that its not a complete show stopper either (getting a girl to cheat on boyfriend is a good ego boost and etc). I don't know if I'm there yet but you are right, I should at least push for the number, what do I have to lose honestly.
YOU are a hero for finishing this program. HUGE!!! I don't know much about you but given that you write about your social anxiety and that you are an Engineer (I'm gonna go after the stereotype, nothing bad intended), that is even more impressive.
Seriously thank you so much. Its a huge emotional roller coaster, I'm not used to living the highs and lows of these emotions. Its thrilling and scary all at the same time. Yeah I'm a software engineer, so not only do I have a shitload of useless knowledge about shit but I write code (ie. dont talk to people) all day. At least the job is chill enough that I can do approaches in the middle of the day and nobody says anything FWIW. But yeah tonnes of anxiety.

The program is fucking genius though. The way the drills break down everything into small steps and introduces those concepts slowly is brilliant. Plus having a goal number to achieve (20 girls, etc) really tricks my brain to be rewarded when I succeed.

Plus, the drills expose everything about your weaknesses. Fuck the bathroom drill, I never thought I had an issue asking for the bathroom until I did that drill. Fuck honestly, the entire program was a god damn slog, I struggled on every day past day 12. Every day felt like another "whos your daddy and what does he do", except I'm like Andy and the total batshit crazy stuff is actually easier than the more serious stuff. ABCs & daddy didn't kick my ass nearly as much as shaking a girls hand, giving a high five or especially telling a girl shes cute. But damn I did it.
Quitting porn is crucial though imo so if you haven't, do it.
I'm definitely addicted to porno. Nowadays, I can go a few days in a row no problem without fapping (which is an achievement, I used to be religious about it). But when I relapse I relapse hard; fapping multiple times a day to double anal shit. Its fucked. I started nofap a few days ago, and failed almost immediately. Honestly your right though the fucking porn is the main problem.

I've thought about doing this for a while and I'm doing it now. I've deleted my 500GB porn collection. I don't know if I'll do nofap outright but from now on no pornography.
Create your own challenges. Like inconveniencing 10 chicks in a day. Approach girls with headphones, girls talking on phones, girls reading, girls sitting on chairs of a restaurant in the open air, girls with their mom, girls with their family, girls with a guy who might be their boyfriend, girls that are running, girls riding on bikes. The opportunities are endless
HAHA I like it, good fucking advice. Fucking brilliant. I'm going to try this. Pretty much all of those are problem areas for me (except the headphones one). I definitely want to nail the girls on phone thing for sure. Groups too.
Tinder is pay to play unless you look really good, that is the simple truth.
I always had too much pride to pay for that stuff. But that's probably retarded. At least my buddies who use those apps all pay. I dunno, I feel like I need to prove to myself that I can actually get matches "organically" on these apps otherwise I'm just throwing my money away.

Funny enough the best picture I have is one with my muscles showing. And best isn't saying much. Maybe getting jacked like Master is is the solution here. Couple of pounds shy of 2 plates for 5 on bench, but nowhere near where I want to be (3 plates).
High-fives, shoulder-tapping, arm-grabbing. By now, Covid is a mere excuse. Go get it. You could for example alternate days with real approaches and the days you skipped. It will make you more confident and aggressive.
Yup. Agreed. Will do. Thanks. People are still cucks about this where I'm at (Montreal Canada), so clubs are still closed AFAIK. Bars are super strict too AFAIK. But you are right I did see a couple of bars that seemed more laid back so I can try those for night game. I really never went to "party" bars or clubs before the pandemic so I have some logistics to figure out. The other day stuff though is definitely doable, I will go and do them.


Edit: I did want to mention, I actually explicitly worked on eye contact during this date. Holding the gaze a bit longer and that sort of thing. I want to get to a point where I can just bluntly stare into the girls eyes and tell her shes fucking sexy, something like Andy has mentioned in one of his videos.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
User avatar
Toast
Posts: 872 | Thanks: 1100
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
Location: Tokyo
Contact:

Thu Aug 05, 2021 10:04 am

chocolate wrote:
Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:32 am
Haha your reading my mind I thought the same thing! She suggested I get ear piercings. Thankfully Andy wrote about this in his guide so I'm at least willing to give her the benefit that shes not full of shit. Anyway, its not something I've ever considered before (I thought it was gay herpderp). Studs look pretty cool imo but I'll have to do my DD first
Increasing Sex appeal with tattoos and piercing's can possibly have some sort of effect. But personally im not going to do any body modification just to increase my chances of getting laid. That's all ur preference. I'm of the opinion that confidence on the cold approach holds a much higher value then looks do. That said, looks do matter to a certain degree. If u dress above average and are not a slob, u can pick up chicks with cold approach.

@Radical style guide is a great place to start if ur fashion sucks like mine did. Dressing well made me feel more confident which directly translates to cold approach confidence imo.
chocolate wrote:
Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:32 am
Wow thats interesting. I'll give it a go. I took the advice from Andy/Radicals videos and just "go next" on the girls that have a boyfriend, but yeah Andy did say that its not a complete show stopper either (getting a girl to cheat on boyfriend is a good ego boost and etc). I don't know if I'm there yet but you are right, I should at least push for the number, what do I have to lose honestly.
Exactly, nothing to really lose. She might give u her number and go on to ghost anyway so no loss. I eject from the conversation a lot of the times if I don't feel the need to push past boyfriend. Really depends on how you feel in the moment. Also depends on your personal values. There's tons of women out there, so no need to score a chick with a boyfriend if u dont want.

But it is fun to throw dumb lines at chicks to see how they react.
-I have a boyfriend.
-Yah that's right, I'm your boyfriend. -Oh yah? how serious is it? - How about a second boyfriend?
I say dumb shit like this all the time. It amuses me to mess with them.
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
User avatar
chocolate
Posts: 32 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Mon Aug 09, 2021 3:21 am

Went out twice today, I took a few days off due to a variety of reasons (other commitments, family drama bullshit, gym). So I felt a lot of AA come back today. I must have still approached at least 5-7 girls in a few hours; but I did pussy out on a lot of girls I wanted to approach.

Went on one short insta-date, short 10 minute walk, she rejected me (didn't give me the number). She kind of left a bad taste in my mouth to be honest, wasn't directly answering my questions right from the beginning and just standoffish. She was the least cute girl I've carried any sort of actual conversation with interestingly enough.

Toast wrote:
Thu Aug 05, 2021 10:04 am
But it is fun to throw dumb lines at chicks to see how they react.
-I have a boyfriend.
-Yah that's right, I'm your boyfriend. -Oh yah? how serious is it? - How about a second boyfriend?
I say dumb shit like this all the time. It amuses me to mess with them.
I hope to be like that one day, I still kind of follow a cookie-cutter opener and just either get the date basically instantly or break it off. I'm actually pretty lousy at teasing come to think of it. I guess I've always hated being made fun of so I don't do that to others; I take myself way to seriously. But to be honest that's kind of retarded come to think of it. This might be something else to work on come to think of it.


EDIT: I just thought of this now, but yeah so I quit porn a few days ago as suggested by CainGettingLaid, and well its been enlightening. Man its hard to get hard without porn not going to lie. Half the time I can't even get off, its like it just doesn't work. I thought about relapsing quite a few times but so far so good (it helps I deleted everything anyway).
On the bright side though, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but man I was at a McDonalds and someone was ordering on those electronic menu things so I could only see her legs (its summer here and she was a wearing a short dress), and jesus christ I fucking got so turned on. I still pussied out of actually talking to her, but I've never had that happen before to me... I guess that's as bout as close to pornography as I'm going to get these days HAHA.
Last edited by chocolate on Mon Aug 09, 2021 3:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
Post Reply