colgate - first instadate of the year!!!

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Sat Apr 23, 2022 12:48 pm

Literally failed the "do a daily post" thing after 2 days. You can see why I usually don't like saying what I'm going to do before I actually do it. Anyway, I have a lot of shit in my life to sort out logistically (routines, priorities, etc) and hopefully I'll be able to come on here and say I've got it more or less together (like I did back in August-September when I first joined the forums). Only things I've been consistently doing are going to the gym and eating enough calories.

Anyway mainly came on here to post about this nightgame session I just had.

Nightgame
I kissed 3 girls in one night over 30 approaches with the line "I've never kissed a girl before. Do you want to be my first?". But the real first was that I got slapped in the face.

I know more experienced guys at night are like "ugh nothing tonight just a bunch of makeouts and numbers" but I'm nowhere close to that stage yet.

Before I went out tonight, @lacroix and I were literally watching the weebiest possible high school slice of life anime for hours and shooting the shit.

But he's had an obligation to himself to do GLL nightgame drills every day this weekend. I've not been focusing on approach at all lately because I'm trying to do more self-improvement instead for a while, but I've tagged along on a few sessions. Tonight I decided I would just also do the same drills.

We did the drills and then decided to just come up with random challenges/drills for each other. lacroix had the idea of "how about for the next Asian girl you see, you go up and tell her you've never kissed a girl and you want her to be your first kiss. then I'll do the same". Note that we're in Nashville, so there's probably 1 Asian girl for every 60+ non-Asians.

In the meanwhile we had come up with stuff like "go talk to that group of girls halfway in the line and try to cut by just talking with them a bunch" and "let me get a picture with you to make my ex jealous". We also went back and forth with the kissing line when we saw the wild Asian girl. But at some point we just decided to just do the "I've never kissed a girl before" line on any girl, and we'd do it 5 times each.

lacroix ended up kissing some white girl standing by herself drinking outside by a lightpole on his like 3rd approach. We were both like "holy fuck that actually worked???" and lacroix told me that I'd get the same if I did it over at least 20 approaches. So I got to work.

There was this group of girls taking some pics so I approached one of them with the line. One of the girls was like "that's nasty!" and I just looked at her and said "no it's not". Immediately I got a pretty solid whack to the face and I dipped.

It kind of put me in overdrive for a bit, but then around 14~16 approaches in, I started feeling demotivated. But I was like well I literally just saw this work right in front of my eyes so let's keep pummeling anyway.

I approached some cute black trio. The girl's friend started pushing her to kiss me and so we kissed. Then I was basically like "hey lacroix it freaking worked holy shit!!!!!" and he pushed me to get a snapchat from them like "okay this is like 100% chance rejection, but do it anyway". So I went up and asked for her snap and got rejected, and they walked off but not a minute later they turn around, and the third girl in the group is like "hey she wants a kiss too!!!!", referring to the girl that pushed her friend to kiss me. So I got 2 of the 3 girls from that trio.

A few approaches later, I had made 2-3 seconds of solid eye contact with an even cuter black chick with her background npc white friend. I approached. She was like "really? you've never had your first kiss?". I said "yeah" while looking at her in the eyes and she brought my chin into her and actually gave me a really good kiss, like it was the first few seconds of a makeout. It was like god damn alright. (the other two were like basically closed mouth lip touches).

There was more random crap that happened throughout the night but I don't feel like writing every single thing that happened so that's it for now lol.
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MakingAComeback
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Mon Apr 25, 2022 5:39 am

King Colgate in the house
-Your friend, Ravi

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jackBruh
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Mon Apr 25, 2022 7:59 am

colgate wrote:
Thu Apr 14, 2022 4:12 pm
I have almost zero awareness of how my behavior comes off to other people. My communication skills are atrocious, and I bang my head at the wall as to why "doing x thing" is wrong. It's like I'm literally socially impaired, like borderline autistic, even though I'm not.
Try a retail job. Worked for me and my anxiety. Endless supply of people to practise interactions with and it's super easy. You could advance to promoting or other more social jobs later. But to get the basics it's a pretty good start
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
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colgate
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Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Tue May 24, 2022 4:51 pm

Since most of what I've been doing is trying to bulk and I'm not really doing anything special, I'll just be doing updates whenever I run into something big for me.

Last night, Troy brought home 2 white girls from nightgame while lacroix and I were just chilling on the couch. They seemed to be in "party" mode so we just hung out in the kitchen for a bit and took some shots.

One girl then pointed at each of us like:
(at Troy): ur calm
(at lacroix): ur calm
(at me): ur nervous

lol uh, I mean she wasn't wrong. But it was like she was aware of that before even I was actively aware of it myself. And if you've seen my log, this isn't the first time I've run into a girl who's perceptive and verbalizes exactly what she thinks I'm feeling to me.

I didn't even have any intent of "making anything happen", I was just trying to be social. But the mere presence of girls (even not really my type) just automatically made me nervous and closed-off I suppose. Not a minute prior to these girls entering, lacroix and I were literally (jokingly) complaining about how we wanted to be in Asia and we were simping over random Asian girls on YouTube/Instagram, completely relaxed, and then these girls came out of nowhere.

Anyway, the girls put on some music and when there's music playing, I have a habit of subtly grooving to the beat. The girl noticed it and started cheering me on and I started dancing a little bit in the kitchen. Then lacroix went to sit on the couch and Troy started talking to the other girl and it was just me and the "perceptive" girl.

She was complimenting my body and feeling my thighs and my muscles. Strangely, this did nothing for me. I didn't feel "less nervous" or "better", but I didn't feel worse either. Then she was asking why I was so nervous and tense. I joked around it saying how I'm a swimmer and in the water I'm completely fluid and etc blah blah.

^ Quick tangent, I think her compliments didn't make me feel anything partially because the girl wasn't really my type, but more importantly I don't feel like I'm anywhere close to where I want to be regarding looks. So I realized that maybe while some people find me attractive, I don't find me attractive yet. And I honestly don't want to just do the mindset exercises where you tell yourself you're attractive because I would rather just be super bulky and jacked. I don't want girls to think I'm attractive, I want girls to find me hot, irresistible, like they can't control themselves around me. I think I finally understand the feeling a lot of other guys feel when they "don't deserve it" regarding girls being attracted to them. I suppose you need to reach your own standards regarding looks before you can actually enjoy validation from it.

Also, another reason I don't "feel much" about compliments regarding my looks is because I've gained a new habit of thinking "oh you think I'm attractive now. but when are you going to flip and realize I'm weird. when are you going to block me from escalating. when are you going to stop feeling attracted to me when I try to do anything". That's what many of my experiences have been over the past 9 months.

Anyway, eventually us 5 went to the balcony. More random shooting the shit, but Troy was really close with the other girl. The perceptive girl wasn't particularly with me but I wasn't really dominating the interaction anyway. Later, lacroix went to his room and not long after Troy went to his room with the other girl so it was just the two of us.

I was playing some music from my laptop and we were dancing in the living room and she was grinding on me for a bit. But then we went to the balcony and started having some "deep conversation" about some bs that I don’t really remember. She kept telling me I'm "too intense" and I need to "let go". I wasn't even trying to escalate much because I was literally trying to chill out. I did try to get closer to her on the balcony and “take it slow” but she started pushing me away with “I’m with someone~~” while continuing the “deep conversation”.

Later we sat on the couch and listened to some more music for a bit and she was putting her hands on my thigh and etc but when I tried to put my arm over her she pushed it away. So I just decided to go to my room with my laptop. But she followed me into my room.

Then her friend texted her that “we need to leave…now…” (she showed me the text convo). I guess she didn’t want to keep going further with Troy or something so the girl I was with knocked on Troy’s door and then those 3 walked out of the apartment while I stayed back.

While they were walking about the girl I was with was apparently giving Troy weird looks and said “so what was THAT about?” I don’t remember the exact words but I think she was referring to me, maybe also whatever was going on in Troy’s room, I don’t know. But more importantly, I think a lot of her reactions were about me.

You have to be a normal guy
I wrote up this experience because it revealed to me directly from a girl herself what I should be working on. I can’t deny that this girl was attracted to me physically, yet completely turned off by my vibe.
WhatsApp Image 2022-05-23 at 1.11.13 PM.jpeg
Here’s a picture of me from 2017. Never lifted a weight in my life and couldn't even do a pullup. Obviously, I look way more attractive now than I did in this picture. But my personality is still this weirdo. It’s like this girl from last night saw my outward appearance, but it almost didn’t matter because my behavior ended up somehow coming off like this guy. And truth be told, I really haven’t changed that much personality-wise from this guy.

People on the forums and in real life have repeatedly told me that my looks are really not holding me back as much as I think they are, rather my vibe and behavior are. I thought that you could get away with “any vibe” if you look elite. And I’m certainly nowhere close to elite, but I’m only holding myself back by trying to completely ignore working on basic social skills.

Here’s a random list of things I need to work on specifically:
- Stop getting overly excited and suddenly talking loudly out of nowhere (probably due to overstimulation). I think I talk loudly often in general because I’ve felt no one would pay attention to anything I’m saying otherwise.
- Stop dragging out syllables like I’m from California and gay. I have no clue why I somehow have a weird gay accent, maybe it’s just from naturally being timid and liking feminine energy (oh I’m the gay one? But u like watching sweaty dudes wrestle it out on a mat….. I like watching cute Chinese cartoon girls have fun)
- Understand basic “social structure” and small talk. To contrast, I feel way more confident speaking Japanese (at least initially), because the first 2-5 minutes of the conversation are always the same and predictable for me (omg ur Japanese is so good lol!!!! How long have u learned it??? Where did u learn it?? Why did u learn it????), plus I get a bunch of positive feedback literally just for speaking the language. In English, I feel like I have to crawl my way to “ok this guy is cool”, since I’m not automatically “cool” for demonstrating fluency in a foreign language I’m not expected to know. Until I feel anywhere close to “comfortable” I’m basically “nervous and intense” like the girl was saying.
- Stop interrupting people. I think I do this for two reasons: either I think the other person is going on a tangent that’s not related to the topic of discussion (even though I do that all the time!), or I’m so insecure that I’ll forget what I have to say, if I don’t say it now, it will never be said.
- Being generally inconsiderate. I’m naturally insensitive because I’ve felt like no one gave a shit about “my feelings” so I learned how to naturally block out a lot of information that I don’t want to process as “noise”. The “upside” is I don’t get offended by much, and I’m completely numb to loud noises (I can sleep anywhere). This is probably why I ended up “getting over” approach anxiety very quickly and could blast out dozens of approaches every day for months, I just don’t pick up on as much information that other people do that would make me anxious in the first place. But I’ve discovered this is a coping mechanism, because when I am aware of something, I get overly stimulated and hyper-anxious about it. And my general social anxiety has actually increased lately in novel ways as a direct result of experiences I’ve had over the past 7ish months. This is a good thing, I have to gain awareness. You could think of my situation as I started a step behind approach anxiety; I wasn’t even aware of what could make people anxious in the first place (and as a result, did a lot of things to make girls uncomfortable without being aware of it).

I just thought of some things off the top of my head I’ve been repeatedly told over the years that somehow have never changed. Like I’d been hearing some of them since I was a teenager from my parents, from my friends in college. The reason I have so much resistance to improving these things is because I’ve told myself it’s too hard. How can I always be conscious of it??? How do you even address some of these things, it’s so vague?

I had to force myself to sit down and write these things down in this log so I can’t forget it. Of course I still will work towards getting an elite body because that’s just part of my daily routine. But the majority of my self-improvement should be targeted towards fixing the above.
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1v1mekid
Posts: 128 | Thanks: 21
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Age: 31
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Wed May 25, 2022 3:47 am

colgate wrote:
Tue May 24, 2022 4:51 pm
So I realized that maybe while some people find me attractive, I don't find me attractive yet. And I honestly don't want to just do the mindset exercises where you tell yourself you're attractive because I would rather just be super bulky and jacked. I don't want girls to think I'm attractive, I want girls to find me hot, irresistible, like they can't control themselves around me. I think I finally understand the feeling a lot of other guys feel when they "don't deserve it" regarding girls being attracted to them...
There's a latency period after losing weight fast or, in your case with the gear, gaining muscle fast where you still feel like a skinny kid with no muscle or flabby with fat even though you look better. I'm experiencing this now too.. I've lost about 25lbs over the past 6 months and I feel fat and unattractive still. It's slowly starting to kick in. But this isn't my first rodeo where I let myself go and then get back in shape.

You'll just slowly get more and more compliments from girls and more looks, your friends and relatives will start telling you more and more stuff like, "omg have you been working out" and you'll just start to feel better about your body.
jackBruh wrote:
Mon Apr 25, 2022 7:59 am
Try a retail job. Worked for me and my anxiety. Endless supply of people to practise interactions with and it's super easy. You could advance to promoting or other more social jobs later. But to get the basics it's a pretty good start
This helped me loads too.
2022 Goals:
1 new lay by dec-31 ✔️
$90k/year by dec-31✔️
move out ✔️
lose 15lbs ✔️
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King Approach
Posts: 35 | Thanks: 4
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Name: John
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Age: 32

Wed May 25, 2022 9:45 am

Bro, I'm Japan right now, it ain't that great... I got thrown into a quarantine hotel for testing positive and it sucks ass :cry: .

But yeah, keep going bro. When the girl is saying your nervous maybe just try agree and amplify next time? Just own it and be like "fuck yeah, I'm nervous. I'm a fucking virgin too, what you gonna do about it?". Don't know if you tried denying it and got all defensive and reverted into your own little shell, but if you did that is definitely the worst thing you can do. I think she was primarily checking to see if she can get you to feel insecure about yourself, which is an unattraction trigger and a sign of weakness. I.e. a shit test. It sounds like you may have failed the test.

At the end of the day, who gives a fuck about what some probably drunk bimbo had to say about you. You may also be reading too much into what she thought of you. I.e. you not being in your own frame. This is also related to failing shit tests.

So your a little weird? Fucking own it is what I say.

Just my .02, but let me know if I missed the mark.
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Mon May 30, 2022 12:45 am

May has been my worst month so far regarding dating/self-improvement since I've joined the forums. Work has been cracking down on me slacking off. Have been continually using it as an excuse to skip boxing for the past 3 weeks and not go to social events/meetups and other things I should be doing. I've been barely hanging onto eating enough calories and going to the gym 4x a week and taking my roids shots.

@pancakemouse helped me tweak my Tinder profile a bit and I've been getting 2-3 matches per day consistently for the past 4 days or so. Which is enough for me to get started with practicing messaging girls and getting into online dating. Online dating has somehow been more intimidating to me than cold approach, because I have no congruence regarding "what I'm supposed to be messaging girls", especially past the opener. I have enough resources and mentors to help me though, so the only thing stopping me now is myself.

I most definitely could balance work and also take my goals seriously. But I also know that if I didn't have work, I would no longer be able to use it as an excuse and would likely start taking myself seriously again.

So, I'm going to start with this: I need to go to boxing 10 times in the month of June, or else I will quit my job. I've told my groups this privately, but I'll post it here on the forums too.
WhatsApp Image 2022-05-29 at 3.07.20 AM.jpeg
I'm doing this bet because either I will be forced to figure out how to balance work and self-improvement/dating, or it's goodbye to the job. I have enough savings to not have a job so money isn't an issue, but the only "negative" might be that finding a new job will be slightly more difficult in my field as I'll have a gap in experience. But I'll figure it out.
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5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:08 am
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Motto: Push It Past The Limit

Mon May 30, 2022 3:33 am

OP, I am kind of going through some of what you are, especially in regards to work and wishing I could focus even more on game, fitness, and hobbies. However, I did have some advice for you after reading this page and the last, particularly around social life and women. I got a lot to say about this.

Dating/Pickup.

The one thing I recommend you do before you even go out (daygame or nightgame) is pay close attention to what you are putting into your mind. I used to listen to intense music which gave me dark thoughts before I went out and that made me give off a bad vibe. Instead, the change I have made is that before heading out, I either listen to some comedy/standup or just content from a respected dating coach with a good vibe to them. I highly highly highly recommend Todd Valentine, I can't stand most dating coaches but this man has changed my game.

I'd also recommend AG Hayden, he has a great video on daygame that about 50 min long. He speaks about how to approach to come off as more calibrated and how to see daygame itself, I say that it is a must watch for anyone daygaming.

Now the next thing is, I think it would benefit you if you didn't focus as much on volume. Guys brag about doing 30+ approaches in a day or night or approaching every single day but that its not that great for your game long-term. I used to do high volume as well, especially with nightgame, and what I realized is that while it helped me get over approach anxiety, it didn't help me develop much past that. My social awareness sucked because I was just spam approaching and not paying attention to the situation at hand.

I think that saying the same line over and over again while doing high volume is detrimental to long-term success in game.

Most of all, I never learned how to truly vibe with people because in my head I was like "do X number of approaches". This year, I changed that.

I decided that instead of spam approaching, especially during daygame, I will slow down and be picky about who I approach. The immediate change I started to notice is that I had legit numbers now and dates that panned out as well as repeat sex with a woman I met from daygaming. I used to think that if I didn't do 10 approaches, my day was a failure. Instead, I now go out to enjoy the day, see various stores, observe the environment (without being creepy), and as the opportunity presents itself I approach.

Not only has it helped me get laid, it also has me treating every daygame session as a way to learn about people in general because I observe the environment more without constantly thinking in my head "must do X number of approaches".

In fact, even though I do less than 10 approaches, it gives me a great chance later on to evaluate each approach I do, see what I could have done better, and incorporate that the next time I go out. It's gone from daygame being a necessary evil to me to something I have fun with now!

Social skills in general and interacting with people.

OP, I recommend Improv instead of getting a retail job. You already have a job and most retail/hospitality jobs are miserable as hell (I've been in one before). Do Improv at a group near you, they will teach you all about interacting with people. I recommend "How To Win Friends and Influence People" as a book but the number one thing you can do immediately with social skills is make it more about them. Listen when they speak, let them continue to speak, and then ask open-ended questions (that can't be answered with a yes or no) whenever they finish.

So when someone is saying how much their job sucks and goes off on a tangent about it, immediately ask them something open ended such as "so how has the search for a new job been going?". Just that switch itself will do wonders. Make it about them, people love to talk about themselves and they will love you (as a friend) when you do that. I don't recommend this when you game though!

Job/work

Right there with you bro. I want to quit my job too and I have enough to get me by for the rest of the year but seriously think this through man. Like for example, I know that if I am unemployed, I'll have to find a way to get decent enough health insurance in the case something happens to me. With a recession looming, I doubt the job market is going to be hot for long with a lot of big companies laying people off left and right.
7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
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Goal: Lose fat
Age: 29
Motto: Push It Past The Limit

Mon May 30, 2022 3:36 am

Here is the AG Hayden Daygame video, 51 min long but a total game changer:



Here is one of Todd V's infields but I recommend his videos forward and back, go through as much of the channel as you can



A student even leaked one of his bootcamps, its 6 parts but it focuses on how to come off the right way when opening so results happen

7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Mon May 30, 2022 4:31 am

Thanks for the detailed reply @Pluto.

I guess I've been a bit of an enigma on the forums, mainly because I tend to dislike posting "I plan on doing x" in detail, so that leads to many assumptions about what I'm doing. Additionally, since I've stated "i've not been doing much other than going to gym", I haven't posted much of what's going on in my head. I'll clarify some things.
Pluto wrote:
Mon May 30, 2022 3:33 am
The one thing I recommend you do before you even go out (daygame or nightgame) is pay close attention to what you are putting into your mind. I used to listen to intense music which gave me dark thoughts before I went out and that made me give off a bad vibe.
I listen to weeby anime/idol japanese pop and dance music so no problem there lol.
Pluto wrote:
Mon May 30, 2022 3:33 am
I think it would benefit you if you didn't focus as much on volume. Guys brag about doing 30+ approaches in a day or night or approaching every single day but that its not that great for your game long-term. I used to do high volume as well, especially with nightgame, and what I realized is that while it helped me get over approach anxiety, it didn't help me develop much past that. My social awareness sucked because I was just spam approaching and not paying attention to the situation at hand.
You are 100% right. That's why I've stopped focusing on high-volume approach for now. It's something good to focus as an extreme beginner and at an advanced stage when you're actually getting some results. But if you are uncalibrated and "weird" like I am, then the cost/benefit ratio is terrible. That's why I moved back to Nashville and exiled myself to a year of self-improvement, which includes going to social events and learning how to be "normal" (some guys reading my log might think this is unnecessary, but anyone who has met me irl will probably know what I'm talking about).
Pluto wrote:
Mon May 30, 2022 3:33 am
In fact, even though I do less than 10 approaches, it gives me a great chance later on to evaluate each approach I do, see what I could have done better, and incorporate that the next time I go out. It's gone from daygame being a necessary evil to me to something I have fun with now!
Being more analytical in general would help me as well. I have the weakness of underanalyzing things and repeatedly/blindly doing the same wrong things over and over.
Pluto wrote:
Mon May 30, 2022 3:33 am
OP, I recommend Improv instead of getting a retail job. You already have a job and most retail/hospitality jobs are miserable as hell (I've been in one before). Do Improv at a group near you, they will teach you all about interacting with people.
I have some plans for social skills improvement and will try to post about that now. I've actually had fast food and retail jobs before and didn't find them particularly "miserable". I agree with you that improv is even better, it's probably one of the most intimidating social things one could do. But I would need much more social awareness to effectively do improv I think.
Pluto wrote:
Mon May 30, 2022 3:33 am
Right there with you bro. I want to quit my job too and I have enough to get me by for the rest of the year but seriously think this through man. Like for example, I know that if I am unemployed, I'll have to find a way to get decent enough health insurance in the case something happens to me. With a recession looming, I doubt the job market is going to be hot for long with a lot of big companies laying people off left and right.
That's why this is such a great "bet". I purposely made this deal because the risks are very high. It's not a safe bet. But the biggest gains are from the biggest gambles.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

🥰 dating log
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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:08 am
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Mon May 30, 2022 4:51 am

You do not need to be a pro to do improv, its meant for people who are new. I think you are thinking standup but Improv is tailor made to welcome people who have never done it. Although I did look at Improv classes in Nashville for you and ugh, barely as many as I would have thought, looks like I was wrong about Nashville becoming more artsy. Seems like Nashville is still the typical southern city at heart, ugh, typical deep south (lol I grew up there).

I think what will help you a ton socially is being somewhat into whatever is cool in your city. When I was in NYC, I was very into theater and acting which is huge there. In Miami, I am getting more into MMA since it is massive down here. Being in Nashville, find some of the things that are big in the city and see if any of them seem interesting to you at all. That alone will help you make more friends or at least be relatable to people.

It is great that you listen to Japanese pop and more positive stuff but I would say that if you are going out in Nashville, kind of make what you listen to match if you are going to do music. I'd recommend starting off with comedy or something funny but with music, I have found that it works best when I listen to the types of music they will play at a venue. It makes me more congruent with the vibe.

I myself prefer rock music but Miami is more of a Latino/Reggaeton city so if I listen to any music before going out, it's that so I am more congruent with the vibe of the place I am going to. In my off time like working out, I listen to whatever I want lol.

As for the game advice, what has helped me get tangible results this year has been:

1. Finding a couple of good resources and following them religiously. For me those are AG Hayden and Todd Valentine. I highly recommend Todd for guys like you who are introverts as it would seem. Do not do more than 2 because thats info overload and you will lack focus, just find 2 good dating coaches and stick with their advice.

2. Before I go out, kind of write down three things I hope to accomplish that I know I have full control over. For me so far its been: don't get bitter over a rejection, try to have a set that goes for longer than 2 minutes, and work on sticking point X (ask less questions and make more assumptions or try to sexualize the conversation).

3. Go out with those 3 things in mind, no matter how many approaches I do.

4. Reflect back on how I did on those 3 things specifically and where exactly I am running into setbacks.

5. Work on specific setback/sticking point when I go out the following night or in the next daygame session.
7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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colgate
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Tue Jun 07, 2022 3:35 pm

First of all, sorry I've not been posting much on the forums. I'm in multiple group chats, plus I live with two guys who are also doing/have done lots of self-improvement so this ends up being the last place I update anything. Makes it feel like I can only put "big" updates here, or ones specifically related to dating (even though that's not true).

I have some stories/insights etc blah blah I'll write those as they come along, but I owe you guys this one lol.

@Mimbe393939 and I had been holding each other accountable for nofap (me) and noporn (him) for the past week or so. But this time it was way harder because I've been shooting myself up with roids and my sex drive has basically skyrocketed. I have had the urge to jerk off like 1-3x a day everyday for weeks now, which was unusual for me (even when I was actively approaching 100-200 girls a week in California, it wasn't as high).

Unlike the last time I did nofap, it was extremely difficult. At that point, I would just go out and approach any time I had the urge to jerk off, and I had like a 59 day streak or something. On the other hand, now that I haven't been regularly approaching at all, I failed twice in around a day, because I have had nothing to channel that energy into.

Failing once is okay, maybe that's a fluke. But failing twice means I have to change something.

Last Friday, Troy and lacroix had gone out to do some nightgame. I decided to stay back initially and was taking a shower. Was literally schizzing out at not being able to jerk off and come. I didn't want to disappoint Mimbe again, so I went out to approach instead.

I couldn't talk to a single person after taking a few laps. My usual excuses of "I'm not into these types of girls" blah blah came up (even though there were definitely 5 girls I could have opened). I sat down and wrote this on my phone in the moment:
Screen Shot 2022-06-03 at 05.28.11.png

Anyway, I went home and ran into Troy and lacroix in the hallway walking back with 2 girls. I passed by and chilled on the couch for a bit and observed them hanging out with the girls near the pool. Eventually the girls left and they came back to the apartment.

We were just discussing the pull for a while, it was the first time they went out together and pulled 2 girls and our apartment is a trash heap, and we didn't have a plan for handling multiple girls, not to mention we ran out of drinks. So that was basically a dud. During this conversation, we got into the topic of "difficult" conversions and unenthusiastic girls, and lacroix has run into those before. I realized I hardly get any pull opportunities as is, and I would like to not have the girl starfish or something the first time I get that far, and it's about time I actually gain some experience.

So I hired an escort.

Troy and some others had suggested escorts to me since November but I hummed and hawed at it for months. Eventually the only thing stopping me was "I'm too nervous and intimidated to do this", as in I would be way too nervous around the escort.

But the transient negative emotions I had from walking around outside an hour prior made me finally pull the trigger. It's like okay, do you really want to get laid or what. And that was the only reason I had gone out at night anyway.

Not to mention I was basically annoyed thinking about going through and messaging girls on dating apps (which still feels like chewing glass to me, a rejection online can take days while on cold approach the same interaction would happen over 2 minutes), fishing for their numbers, setting up the dates, only to deal with a girl who's not even actually interested in meeting me, or doesn't want to do anything if I pull, etc. Of course, that scenario will be inevitable and something to deal with, but I just wanted to get laid first!!!!!!!!

more thoughts i don't feel like writing up in this report but i feel like i should post haha
Screen Shot 2022-06-07 at 06.43.06.png
Screen Shot 2022-06-07 at 07.11.29.png
my experience with this escort was LITERALLY top 5 most nerve-wracking moments of my life, you can read about it here: viewtopic.php?p=36390#p36390

Takeaways
The actual experience was like 20% pleasure, and 80% stress haha

But I'm really glad I did this because it's a step in making sex more normalized, so I can focus better on the actual part of dating (online and approach) without being as hyper-needy for sex since it's not this totally unknown fantasy to me anymore.

I'm probably not going to do nofap. The only reason I was doing it in the first place is because back in California when I was still natural and had a more natural increase in sex drive from approaching, jerking off made me lose motivation to go out and approach and made me pretty lazy. But it pretty much rapidly replenishes now thanks to the testosterone. Also I think being so pent up with the desire to get off made me overly aggressive and combined with zero calibration, I was mostly insanely jilted and way too fast when trying to escalate with girls. You can read my previous logs such as this instadate pull in Chicago.

I'm pretty sure I come quickly because usually when I've jerked off it was out of stress or boredom and I literally jerked off AFAP (as fast as possible) just to get it over with it so I can move on with my life. I remember doing this when I was back in college if I was distracted by being horny but needed to study, and since I was also actively suppressing my sexuality back then, I would literally just try to climax as fast as possible to get it over with. So now I have to undo that lol.

I've had a fleshlight for a few months and used it sometimes, so I'm probably going to use it every few days now regularly and try edging->climaxing so I'm not just hyper desperate and horny to get off, especially since my sex drive bounces back very quickly now.

I was talking with @arcade_fireee, and he had mentioned that if you have little to no sex, the psychological excitement factor is way too high. With my experience, the first like 10-15 minutes was a total blur and felt like 2 minutes (I only was aware it was 15 mins because there was an alarm clock). But just knowing what sex is like means I have that reference experience in my head now which should prove to be valuable.

And @september has said that girls actually find it hot if you come quickly and acknowledge "it was because you were so hot", since they find it extremely validating. So if something like that happens again, I'll know how to play it off.
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colgate
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Fri Jun 10, 2022 4:41 am

Just a quick update, nothing too important but logging for accountability.

I've set up an appointment to get LASIK or SMILE on June 27th (depending on which surgery they deem more compatible). I've worn glasses since I was 7 years old and can't function at all without them. And with the whole "first time I ever had sex, my contacts fell out" thing, I guess it was about time.
colgate wrote:
Mon May 30, 2022 12:45 am
So, I'm going to start with this: I need to go to boxing 10 times in the month of June, or else I will quit my job.
I have decided I will go 7 times instead of 10. I don't want to sound like I'm copping out so here's why:
- I've gone June 1st, 6th, and 9th. That's twice a week so far, and that's how much Troy has recommended me to go. I also don't want to sacrifice weight training for boxing (I go weight training 4x a week and boxing 2x, and have a day of rest).
- If I go twice a week for the rest of the month until the 27th it should be 7 times. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to go boxing or do much for that week since I'll be recovering from the surgery but we'll see.
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MakingAComeback
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Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:54 pm

MOUSE TO MOTHER FUCKIN BULLLDOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
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colgate
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Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
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Fri Jun 24, 2022 4:05 am

Had another escort date tonight.

Since I wasn't 100% new, I go a lot slower with the escalation and it wasn't totally instant.

details: viewtopic.php?p=37512#p37512

I've had my fill of escorts now. It was good to have those experiences, but something's missing when you didn't approach a bunch of girls, get neurotic about all the girls in your contact list not responding, finally get a girl to confirm on a date, actually show up for the date, and then go from there.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log

see my interview!
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