colgate - first instadate of the year!!!

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MakingAComeback
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 8:14 am

DAS IT MANE
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Crisis_Overcomer
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 8:30 am

colgate wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:45 am
Daygame approach is high volume (50~100 girls a week)
I just pictured Mike writing "LOL! I do this many in an hour" :')

Good shit.
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MakingAComeback
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 8:41 am

How 'bout this for a deal

Every 50 approaches you do, I do 1?

That cool yeah?

Ur on fire bro

MAC
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colgate
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 9:17 am

MakingAComeback wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 8:41 am
How 'bout this for a deal

Every 50 approaches you do, I do 1?

That cool yeah?

Ur on fire bro

MAC
I know this post was supportive jest, but you're in London now. You should seriously do what I told you on your thread about "x approaches a day" until you don't need to think about it. You'll get the dates you want. You'll get more than 8 dates by the end of this year. I got lucky with my first two approaches ever (I did an indirect approach before joining the forums) and the second approach I ever did with the latina girl in the hotel 3 months ago I was acting pretty genuine ended up in 2 dates. Then I got 1 (non-insta)date from my robotic spam approaching and 3 more just this weekend after adjusting my approach methodology (could have been 4 if I didn't cancel on a girl like a retard). It doesn't matter what I do. You'll seriously be killing it in around a month if you just do what I said about x+1 approaches each day, every day.
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MakingAComeback
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 9:28 am

colgate wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 9:17 am
MakingAComeback wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 8:41 am
How 'bout this for a deal

Every 50 approaches you do, I do 1?

That cool yeah?

Ur on fire bro

MAC
I know this post was supportive jest, but you're in London now. You should seriously do what I told you on your thread about "x approaches a day" until you don't need to think about it. You'll get the dates you want. You'll get more than 8 dates by the end of this year. I got lucky with my first two approaches ever (I did an indirect approach before joining the forums) and the second approach I ever did with the latina girl in the hotel 3 months ago I was acting pretty genuine ended up in 2 dates. Then I got 1 (non-insta)date from my robotic spam approaching and 3 more just this weekend after adjusting my approach methodology (could have been 4 if I didn't cancel on a girl like a retard). It doesn't matter what I do. You'll seriously be killing it in around a month if you just do what I said about x+1 approaches each day, every day.
Haha you are understanding my humour better now g

We will figure this out for sure

Ur action inspires the fuck outta me

I will do what you said I will try my hardest

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

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colgate
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:21 am

colgate wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:45 am
The main component now for actually getting laid is just learning bedroom calibration which is entirely separate, but I'll figure it out.
Random corollary point I want to make about this. It's just something I've wondered for a long time but I think I'll talk about it now because it might provide some value.

You'll see a lot of guys (especially on this forum) talk about how they hooked up with e.g. the 9th girl they ever approached. And say you're literally a virgin or have very little bedroom experience, and you do a couple hundred approaches and you still haven't gotten laid yet. You might be like "wow I'm so unlucky why are these guys hardly approaching compared to me, but hooking up way more?"

One reason could obviously be your interactions are actually terrible. There are actually many guys who are already great at interactions but only have massive approach anxiety. These guys will end up having amazing approach->date conversions and go on to hookup if pushed to approach (my experience with @lacroix* over the past week). But I've found that approach anxiety is one of the easier things to get over if you have basically zero experience anyway (e.g. "rejection is normal? girls have never liked me anyway. Yeah, I've been living that my whole life let's fucking go I love approach let's just get rejected woohoo!"). You can literally just get high off of getting rejected (I still do, and I think it's a pretty good mindset to have early on, since it's expected to happen most of the time even if you're "good" anyway), but be very ineffective with approach because you never bothered to figure out the additional anxiety you have with actually interacting with women whom you approach. It's certainly something I have to deal with, and I'm getting better at it now. The actual interactions have a HUGE effect on your approach->date conversions. As I said earlier, when I worked on this, I went from 1/250+ for lifetime date conversions to 1/~40 over the past week. But even if you get decent at interactions and handling the anxiety during your interactions, there's another component for effectively getting laid from approach.

Pickup itself doesn't get you laid. It's just for meeting girls and getting them to go on dates with you (even instadates). Getting laid is actually entirely separate from pickup. You could in theory, be killing it on Tinder or OLD as well (getting lots of matches and contacts) and still not hookup (I see OLD as an alternative way to get contacts and dates, still has nothing to actually do with getting laid).

If you have no actual bedroom experience, then you're probably going to be terrible at actually hooking up. If I had more experience, even I could have hooked up with my 2nd approach ever (see my early log from August). But combined with a lot of physical contact anxiety I had at the time and literally zero experience, I couldn't make it happen despite the couple hours of time I spent with her over 2 days. Maybe she wouldn't have been receptive to it anyway at the end of the day, but I will never know because I straight up didn't know how what to do to screen and escalate to find out.

The guys who hookup within less than e.g. <50 lifetime approaches have a little bit of luck perhaps, but I've observed most guys who want to start approach actually have a lot of bedroom experience already. Perhaps from ex-girlfriends or OLD. This means that once they actually get the girl on a date (or a couple dates), they end up being able to just use their instincts and experience to consummate the hookup.

I don't know who else but the only guys I've ever known who went hard with approach from literally zero have been myself, @goldfish, and @Manganiello (actually his log was an inspiration for me before I even joined these forums myself). It's extremely rare for guys with no experience with girls to dive straight into approach.

The main point of writing this post is that guys who start approach from zero experience should understand that they probably won't hookup for a long time even if they perceive themselves at being "decent" at pickup itself. That's due to lack of bedroom experience. It's a separate practice to learn. That's why it's actually good advice to do OLD if you have no experience if you can do it effectively just to increase the amount of dates you have, and in turn get better in the bedroom. But regardless of how you actually get girls to meet up with you, it's separate thing to work on.

Maybe an early metric for zero beginners to approach to gauge how they're doing is to look at their approach->date or even contact->date conversions, rather than approach->lay conversions. Yeah, all of us have the end goal of getting laid a lot, but looking at approach->date conversions and date->lay conversions separately is probably more helpful for gauging your own progress.

People can try to verify the above with other people's cold approach logs on this forum. I also predict that if @Manganiello and @goldfish start approaching again, and being more effective with it (combined with their recent OLD successes, thus helping them massively with the "actually getting laid part"), the meme that Calgary is the worst place to approach will probably dissolve.

I say this because I approached in Nashville, which is known to be a great city to approach in the US, and got terrible results (I literally got 1 non instadate out of probably 400+ approaches in that city), because I only did "high volume" without improving other aspects of my approach. My friend in Austin who used to live in Nashville was approaching only 50~100 girls a week and got laid probably with 60 girls in a year from approach there. Austin isn't magically different somehow for approach but I'm getting better results from pickup from some of the changes I made in my approaches recently and I'm literally getting about the same approach->date conversion rate as my friend now, despite still being a virgin (I had 4 dates scheduled in 4 days, and a couple girls who proposed being free on specific days later this week). For me, I just need to keep going with approach and improve my bedroom calibration over time to get laid consistently with approach.

--

*Was rereading my entire log just now like an egomaniac. You can tell lacroix is great with interacting with girls and people in general because he posted this in my log a month ago. Realized it's something that I've been doing much more on my approaches lately.:
lacroix wrote:
Tue Oct 12, 2021 10:05 pm
"Building an emotional connection"--I really do feel this is so important for making friends, getting girls. It's also not necessarily a contradiction with wanting to get laid a bunch and move real fast with girls, from what I've seen so far. If you can internalize "building an emotional connection"--not as a PUA trick to get into her pants, but simply as a vital part of building any sort of relationship with another human, casual or otherwise--I think you're really going to be on the right track.
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pancakemouse
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:15 pm

You're going to be an absolute slayer, G. Wish I had started out in Game with some of the resources and teaching you're following.

Glad that you're calibrating your approaches to Austin. Second and third tier city daygame in the US just needs to be run differently than what all the coaches teach. The context that no one explains is that the coaches all live in London, Miami, NYC, Sydney, etc. basically megacities where you can do massive approach volume and short sets.

I might write a short guide to "smaller city daygame" at some point.
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Manganiello
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:18 pm

colgate wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:21 am
colgate wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:45 am
The main component now for actually getting laid is just learning bedroom calibration which is entirely separate, but I'll figure it out.
Random corollary point I want to make about this. It's just something I've wondered for a long time but I think I'll talk about it now because it might provide some value.

You'll see a lot of guys (especially on this forum) talk about how they hooked up with e.g. the 9th girl they ever approached. And say you're literally a virgin or have very little bedroom experience, and you do a couple hundred approaches and you still haven't gotten laid yet. You might be like "wow I'm so unlucky why are these guys hardly approaching compared to me, but hooking up way more?"

One reason could obviously be your interactions are actually terrible. There are actually many guys who are already great at interactions but only have massive approach anxiety. These guys will end up having amazing approach->date conversions and go on to hookup if pushed to approach (my experience with @lacroix* over the past week). But I've found that approach anxiety is one of the easier things to get over if you have basically zero experience anyway (e.g. "rejection is normal? girls have never liked me anyway. Yeah, I've been living that my whole life let's fucking go I love approach let's just get rejected woohoo!"). You can literally just get high off of getting rejected (I still do, and I think it's a pretty good mindset to have early on, since it's expected to happen most of the time even if you're "good" anyway), but be very ineffective with approach because you never bothered to figure out the additional anxiety you have with actually interacting with women whom you approach. It's certainly something I have to deal with, and I'm getting better at it now. The actual interactions have a HUGE effect on your approach->date conversions. As I said earlier, when I worked on this, I went from 1/250+ for lifetime date conversions to 1/~40 over the past week. But even if you get decent at interactions and handling the anxiety during your interactions, there's another component for effectively getting laid from approach.

Pickup itself doesn't get you laid. It's just for meeting girls and getting them to go on dates with you (even instadates). Getting laid is actually entirely separate from pickup. You could in theory, be killing it on Tinder or OLD as well (getting lots of matches and contacts) and still not hookup (I see OLD as an alternative way to get contacts and dates, still has nothing to actually do with getting laid).

If you have no actual bedroom experience, then you're probably going to be terrible at actually hooking up. If I had more experience, even I could have hooked up with my 2nd approach ever (see my early log from August). But combined with a lot of physical contact anxiety I had at the time and literally zero experience, I couldn't make it happen despite the couple hours of time I spent with her over 2 days. Maybe she wouldn't have been receptive to it anyway at the end of the day, but I will never know because I straight up didn't know how what to do to screen and escalate to find out.

The guys who hookup within less than e.g. <50 lifetime approaches have a little bit of luck perhaps, but I've observed most guys who want to start approach actually have a lot of bedroom experience already. Perhaps from ex-girlfriends or OLD. This means that once they actually get the girl on a date (or a couple dates), they end up being able to just use their instincts and experience to consummate the hookup.

I don't know who else but the only guys I've ever known who went hard with approach from literally zero have been myself, @goldfish, and @Manganiello (actually his log was an inspiration for me before I even joined these forums myself). It's extremely rare for guys with no experience with girls to dive straight into approach.

The main point of writing this post is that guys who start approach from zero experience should understand that they probably won't hookup for a long time even if they perceive themselves at being "decent" at pickup itself. That's due to lack of bedroom experience. It's a separate practice to learn. That's why it's actually good advice to do OLD if you have no experience if you can do it effectively just to increase the amount of dates you have, and in turn get better in the bedroom. But regardless of how you actually get girls to meet up with you, it's separate thing to work on.

Maybe an early metric for zero beginners to approach to gauge how they're doing is to look at their approach->date or even contact->date conversions, rather than approach->lay conversions. Yeah, all of us have the end goal of getting laid a lot, but looking at approach->date conversions and date->lay conversions separately is probably more helpful for gauging your own progress.

People can try to verify the above with other people's cold approach logs on this forum. I also predict that if @Manganiello and @goldfish start approaching again, and being more effective with it (combined with their recent OLD successes, thus helping them massively with the "actually getting laid part"), the meme that Calgary is the worst place to approach will probably dissolve.

I say this because I approached in Nashville, which is known to be a great city to approach in the US, and got terrible results (I literally got 1 non instadate out of probably 400+ approaches in that city), because I only did "high volume" without improving other aspects of my approach. My friend in Austin who used to live in Nashville was approaching only 50~100 girls a week and got laid probably with 60 girls in a year from approach there. Austin isn't magically different somehow for approach but I'm getting better results from pickup from some of the changes I made in my approaches recently and I'm literally getting about the same approach->date conversion rate as my friend now, despite still being a virgin (I had 4 dates scheduled in 4 days, and a couple girls who proposed being free on specific days later this week). For me, I just need to keep going with approach and improve my bedroom calibration over time to get laid consistently with approach.

--

*Was rereading my entire log just now like an egomaniac. You can tell lacroix is great with interacting with girls and people in general because he posted this in my log a month ago. Realized it's something that I've been doing much more on my approaches lately.:
lacroix wrote:
Tue Oct 12, 2021 10:05 pm
"Building an emotional connection"--I really do feel this is so important for making friends, getting girls. It's also not necessarily a contradiction with wanting to get laid a bunch and move real fast with girls, from what I've seen so far. If you can internalize "building an emotional connection"--not as a PUA trick to get into her pants, but simply as a vital part of building any sort of relationship with another human, casual or otherwise--I think you're really going to be on the right track.

This is one of the best posts I've seen in a while.

It actually clarifies a lot of the random experiences I've had with approach in general.

Like you somehow sorted why guys exceed right a way in approach vs other guys go through the mud.


Anybody considering approach would gain a lot from paying attention to what @colgate is saying here.



Bedroom game vs. approach game is a good distinction. Somehow I just had decent bedroom game from the get go. I think sales experience helped. But there's still a lot to work on I would say.
.
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How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
[Guide]

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colgate
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 4:51 pm

Manganiello wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:18 pm
Bedroom game vs. approach game is a good distinction. Somehow I just had decent bedroom game from the get go.
I'm curious as to how you think your sales experience helped you with bedroom game.

I think regardless of who you are, you might find at least *one* part of pickup easy. I'm pretty good with dates because you can literally just talk about whatever. And I've seen guys have trouble with "pulling" (being nervous, how much time should I wait? etc), and somehow I've never had it be an issue and actually find it pretty natural to try after 15-20 minutes (that's about how much time it takes to finish a coffee or donut, what else are we going to do in the cafe?) (I think I'm 1/5 for pulls, but I was never "nervous" about it). In my case I think it's just like I talk about something on the date and make it seem completely normal that we're going to my place to check it out. If anything, the girls have tried to make it weird.
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Manganiello
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Mon Nov 15, 2021 8:20 pm

colgate wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 4:51 pm
Manganiello wrote:
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:18 pm
Bedroom game vs. approach game is a good distinction. Somehow I just had decent bedroom game from the get go.
I'm curious as to how you think your sales experience helped you with bedroom game.

I think regardless of who you are, you might find at least *one* part of pickup easy. I'm pretty good with dates because you can literally just talk about whatever. And I've seen guys have trouble with "pulling" (being nervous, how much time should I wait? etc), and somehow I've never had it be an issue and actually find it pretty natural to try after 15-20 minutes (that's about how much time it takes to finish a coffee or donut, what else are we going to do in the cafe?) (I think I'm 1/5 for pulls, but I was never "nervous" about it). In my case I think it's just like I talk about something on the date and make it seem completely normal that we're going to my place to check it out. If anything, the girls have tried to make it weird.

I guess it's similar to what you said. I can pull decently well. Or if a girl is pullable I can usually get them.

So where sales transfers...

- on the pull she'll turn you down but then you reduce the seriousness of the pull just by saying "it's fine. I don't have much time either".

- mindset on the date is outcome oriented, but being flexible at the same time.

- knowing how to transition random conversation to let's go watch something at my place.

- and just a million random things like being committed to a result without being needy on the date.

- avoiding the passive attitude that some girls will be down and some won't. And going for it every single time with the assumption that she is down.

Those are somethings that I picked up in sales
first and that have helped here.
.
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☀️ Lost vCard from Day Game Post
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How I got 9 lays in the first 6 weeks on Tinder
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colgate
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Wed Nov 17, 2021 1:34 pm

Past two daygame sessions and my attitude towards anything pickup related have been lucidly applying the hallucinogenic dream I had on Sunday about how "rejection is mileage". My logs will be including more information on various streaks of "x girls running away to get me the 1 girl who giggles incessantly from me showering her in compliments", "x dates who flaked/nopulled to get me 1 pull" etc. This provides a lot of value for anyone just starting cold approach because actively realizing this mindset very early on is absolutely fundamental.

Daygame
11/15: 5/25
This would be a normal session in most places but it's a "rejection tilt" on a campus lol.
mileage highlight: 4 girls in a row accelerated away and then I got a hyper receptive girl sitting down studying at Target like "omg im stressing out for my exam and u coming up to me made my day <3<3<3 xoxoxo".

I also did a bunch of random dicey approaches for the lolz since I hadn't done any in a while (I actually don't remember what they were exactly now). I realized that deliberately doing "hard approaches" just for the sake of it is pretty pointless if you don't have approach anxiety anymore. Wasn't sure why at the time but I realized why in today's session.

I also opened a waitress at a restaurant who was hyper giggly and cute after I complimented her. I even talked to her a bit more to get her logistics for the week and setup a date. But when I tried to get her number she "forgot", told me to write my number on a receipt and she'd get back to me later. She didn't. Solid +BSU here (I didn't count it as an exchange, it's a rejection).

--

11/16: ~30 approaches, 7#, 2 dates setup
mileage highlight: 7-8 girls scurried off, ignored me, or were otherwise completely cold when I approached them. Then I got a girl who was hyper giggly and adorable so just I started just showering her in a lot of compliments and she responded by acting even more giggly and cute. I literally was getting turned on during this approach the whole time and walked away with a boner. I was actually hitting myself afterwards for not asking her if we should just go chill at her place right then for an instapull instead of deferring her for a date (she said she was on her way home) (I also literally had a date in 15 minutes). Literally getting another boner writing about this right now, no homo.

I went like 4#/5 at first when I realized I was making a bunch of pointless exchanges. All 4 of these girls were telling me that they're so busy and that they wouldn't be free for e.g. 2 weeks, but out of formality I was asking for their number anyway.

After having 2 dates this weekend (almost 3 if I didn't cancel on the girl), and lucidly realizing "rejection is mileage", I found that I craved more mileage for dates. I want to absorb all of the flakes, no pulls, and no hookups now and the only way to do that is to figure out a way to get "high-volume dates"

So from my 6th approach onwards, after suggesting we meet up for donuts "sometime", I decided to actively screen hard for dates by asking girls their plans for the week and set up a date on the spot. The contact exchange is a mere means to keep in touch after we had already made plans to meet up.

I've come to realize contact exchanges mean jack shit, and they're actually overemphasized as the metric for "positive outcomes" in approach. This is pellucidly obvious to me from going 1/~100 for date/contacts in Nashville (value is that it's retardedly easy to get a girl's number, but it means nothing if your approach interaction sucks) and 3/41 up until this weekend in Austin (approach interaction improved, but I was still merely suggesting that we meet up for donuts during the approach and just taking her number). The date I cancelled on Sunday was actually an approach I setup the date on the spot (just from winging it), and I did the same with the waitress yesterday.

So as I said earlier, I decided just to setup the date on every approach where I'm already talking to the girl and I like her. I ejected from nearly every interaction without going for an exchange where the girl made a bunch of excuses where she's busy or even if she genuinely had plans for e.g. "the next 2 weeks". Even before this, I realized I was just putting busy girls' logistics in their contact tagline in my phone (e.g. "busy next week", "free 11/28", etc). So really this part of the session was more like 3#/25 or so. The only exchange I took where I didn't set up a date was from a girl who told me a specific date she'd be ready. One of the other girls actually asked me for my number after I setup the date with her.

Some guys have talked about trying setting up dates on the spot, only to find that the girl flakes. I see this as another form of mileage that needs to take place. I haven't seen anyone else try it consistently over many hundreds of approaches, so it's going to be my approach strategy for a while now to see what the road looks like. I contend that fewer numbers will ghost and you completely avoid getting messages over text where the girl talks about how she's e.g. "so happy you approached her but she realized she's not looking for a relationship". That's not to say the amount of girls who are in that situation magically reduces, I've just decided I'm going to transfer those rejections to the approach interaction itself rather than over text. Likewise, text is just a means to send a confirmation text and keep in touch minutes before the date before you actually meet up.

I noticed the girls whom I approached also changed. No longer did I just approach anyone who was "maybe alright" just for volume, I was approaching only girls I actually would like to spend time with on a date (in other words, my standards increased). The campus has pretty good volume so I can get away with this (I still did the same number of approaches I've been doing lately). I also ejected out of girls just immediately blowing me off that they're in a hurry instead of pushing for an exchange (which is something I often did in Nashville, fewer times in Austin. you can get contacts this way if you're pushy, but there's nearly no value in grabbing these numbers). And I wasted less time doing "ballsy approaches" that looked like I couldn't even have a prolonged (2-3 minute) conversation in the first place.

The only reason I don't push for instadates (I suggest them on approaches) is because I have terrible instadate logistics (my place is a 5-10 minute drive from the campus, and I actually don't believe that instadates and regular dates are the same). I push for the date though. I know top practitioners in the world go for instadates but I think the situation is different on a college campus (especially if you're not a student) or just some street approaches. I can't articulate why exactly right now because I have no experience, so I want to just experiment. Yeah, I made out with a girl in a classroom in Nashville from an instadate (who would have gone on to tell me she's not looking for anything because she was already in a relationship over text later (since she did)), but I'm not sexual enough yet to figure out how to pull something like that off consistently yet. So I'm going to settle for dates and try to get something out of that for potentially more experience.

I also expect to get an extremely low hookup/date ratio for a while because I don't really know how to give off a "sexual vibe" yet on approaches. But at least getting a lot of dates will get me closer to that. I talked about this a little bit with @Manganiello, but the fact that they're cold approach dates and not from online also means the conversion rate will be a potentially be lot lower than OLD dates (since I think it's much harder to screen for sex on an approach and just complimenting girls and them being open for meeting up on a date can come off as just being friendly, or let in more girls looking for a slow-paced relationship). For now I'll have to just handle it and screen it out during the date. Lately I'm just noting certain behaviors from women who are unreceptive at any stage and seeing whether there are potential points I'll use to just straight up eject out of the date in the future, but I'll probably just let stuff happen for the most part for a while instead of ejecting too quickly as a means for collecting more data.

Expect to see a much lower exchange rate and potentially fewer approaches even in certain sessions. I see approach as the gasoline to fill the date automobile right now. You can't overfill the tank.

Date Schedule
Wednesday 7pm - met 11/15
Thursday 6pm - met 11/14 at night
Friday 7pm - met 11/11. girl I cancelled on still wants to meet up???????
Saturday 5pm - met 11/16
Sunday 2pm - met 11/16

Date
??yo japanese phd student met on 11/11 - dont know her age because when i asked she wouldn't tell me, i think she's actually older than i. i joked about it and was like "secret!" like how all japanese girls say when they're bsing you
declines hug at cafe, eat donuts and talk for 15-20 minutes, brought up dating in japan but she says she doesn't know much about it, declined music pull like "so this is how dating works in america?", go to food mart
i get water and then i start to take her to my place but she's like i live the other way. i push 2-3x to go towards my place so I'm like lol ok I'll walk with you just to see if she'll let me in her place.
she asks me if i've been going around hitting on girls
I'm like yeah I like meeting new people
I was just like yeah lol
anyway while we're walking she asks me how many girlfriends I've had
I'm like a lot (not true lmao)
why'd you break up with them?
i was just like sometimes she didn't like me and sometimes I didn't like her
anyway we walk to a bus stop
and I'm like "we're going to your place by bus?"
she's like yeah. but the entire date was in japanese though so after the date i actually realized i just said バスで帰る? (lit. "going home by bus")
and she probably took that as me asking her if she goes home by bus. probably should have been like 俺らバスで帰る? (lit. "we're going home by bus?") or something. in japanese you can often omit the subject from the sentence so that's why in my head i thought i was asking if we're going to your place by bus. potentially if she gave too much pushback i would have definitely ejected at this point (or at least waited until we got on the bus and maybe been more pushy).
anyway I'm like ok and get on the bus for free somehow. but the bus driver makes a big deal that i'm not wearing a mask, refuses to drive the bus, and i have to ask him 3 times for a mask because he keeps whining so much about it. he's like "why don't you have your mask" "can you just give me a mask" "you know you're supposed to be wearing a mask right" "just give me a mask" *finally gives me a mask and starts fucking driving* (first time it's ever happened to me in america, no one requires masks here and probably only 30% of people wear them). let's make a big deal about a guy not wearing a mask but not care that he literally just walked in the bus without paying.
she asked "is it ok that you're on the bus with me?" im like "yeah". i think that's when i realized my japanese mistake from earlier lol.
then we end up going to the uni and we walk for maybe 50 feet and she's like "don't come any further" i'm like "i thought we were going to your place" she's like no. i push it maybe 2-3x and then just say bye and walk home (only like a 10-15 min walk)

Value from this date is that this hyper unreceptive girl was a result of me having an 8 minute pull no resistance on my previous date. I chatted with someone about "-BSU" and being pushy vs true unreceptiveness. He said that he'll do something light like touch the girl's back or put his arm around the girl at the start of the date and if she jumps away he literally walks out, I'm still extremely new to dates (this was literally the 6th date of my whole life), but I at least decided next time a girl isn't going to let me give her a hug at the beginning of the date, I'm literally just going to walk out on the spot. Let's dress up and come all the way for a date and then not hug the guy so he can waste our time.
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5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Thu Nov 18, 2021 5:30 am

No approach session today. Was going to do work but all I can think about is doing pickup so I got distracted.

Also my text conversations have been getting soupier and soupier from deregulation because all I care about is logistics and I know how I approach now seems to have a decent approach->date conversion rate so I'm like, yeah we're going to meet at this time at this place. Just an observation. Not saying it's good or bad. I was actually more excited about realizing this in a text exchange I had with a girl than the date I was about to go on. Like I almost cared zero about the date I was actually about to go, and @lacroix and I were eating Chick-Fil-A <1 hour before the date.

date report - ??yo (didn't ask) black girl
she shows up at 7:08pm, I show up maybe at 7:18pm. hug, donuts, talk. music pull no resistance in probably 12 minutes. I'm like what the fuck I'm about to get trolled so hard right now by the daygame gods.
surely enough we leave the shop and immediately she's like actually my parking expires at 7:45. I'm like move your car. She's like I actually have to go study. I'm like well come back to my place anyway until like 8:30 or something I have work to do. She's like "can I take a raincheck?" I should have pushed more here but instead I accidentally tried to screen for +macro by being like, well do you want to meet up again? She's like yeah sure.
Exit food mart and walk over in the direction to my place. she asks me what i was doing at target by campus when i met her, i was like i was shopping and then we talk about that. at the corner of the block of my place, she's like here's my car. I'm like nah come back to my place for a bit and push maybe 2x here. i decide to accidentally screen for +macro again by being like ok lets arrange to meet up again. she's like oh i'm leaving for thanksgiving next week. i end up being like "when are you back" "dec 3" "ok maybe we can meet that weekend, damn thats far out". i end up just hugging her and she leaves.

I could have been way pushier honestly. also im tired of eating donuts every fucking day lmao

I'm kind of forseeing my trajectory with dates similar to how I was approaching in Nashville. That is, I basically spam approached in Nashville and my contacts were all junk. Somehow I have dates lined up for the next 4 days, but I have a feeling 2 of these dates are going to be junk (not even real mileage), like they're "spam dates". The reason is because before yesterday, I was pretty much approaching anyone I thought was mildly attractive and didn't really feel much for the girl, even if they were friendly and nice. And a lot of my openers to these girls were congruently pretty half assed and perhaps even came off platonically. Like "yeah you're cute, like as kind of a cute friend". Having a short conversation with them meant they were like "alright I want to hang out with this guy, he seems friendly", which is obviously *not* what I'm looking for.

I have like a sample size of 1 for this but I remember the 8 minute pull girl whom I cuddled and made out with on Sunday was the same girl I incidentally felt something "special" for in the moment when I approached and my opener ended up being pretty crazy ("i saw u skate by me and time stopped and my heart was throbbing" or something). I mentioned it again when I met her at the donut shop and pretty much the rest of the conversation was friendly. I think I got congruently got the physical experience that I wanted (initially cuddly and physical and feeling her up but I somehow felt I couldn't go all the way). It was like, the approach and date were 15% sexual, and I got like 15% of an experience. Guys can I say I got 3/20ths of a lay now??????????????

This trajectory *may* change though since last session I decided I want to approach girls specifically whom I want to go on a date with, and consequently the actual girls whom I approached changed. I'll mention this for the 10th time but I literally got aroused on my last approach. So I wonder what my dates will be like in the coming weeks (although I'm prepared for running into a dry spell due to the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend).
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5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Sun Nov 21, 2021 12:53 pm

Had a nightgame session with @lacroix where we tried to work on our own things through drills. He had already talked about what he did in his log.

I wasn't just out to do approaches, but actually get laid.

Nightgame for me has just been an outlet for a while to push my own audacity and confidence. I was often doing things like opening random Asian girls in Japanese and getting called racist for the lolz, to pushing 20x on girls who said they're "girlfriends" to makeout in front of me (which sometimes worked). I also started going more nuts on the dance floor and random girls would pull me to dance with them. I'd also get girls to dance with me. I tried going for makeouts but got deflected from all roughly 5~10 attempts ([probably not enough over maybe a total of ~60 night approached up until today). Of course, a healthy share of ass grabbing and grinding and titty rubbing.

I think I realized my night "audacity" basically maxxed out when this girl I was dancing with lied that some random guy was her boyfriend. Told her to go kiss him for 1 second and I'd get the fuck out of there. Declined like 7-8x and her friend said they're girlfriends. I was like nahhhh I believe that's your boyfriend but you can't say this is your girlfriend now. Kept just pushing for her to kiss the random dude. Also pushed her to kiss me. She was like "I'm going to the bathroom" and like walked into the door for 2 seconds and came back out. She went near the guy she claimed to be her boyfriend, but obviously he wasn't. I pushed them to kiss maybe 3x. I should have told the guy that he's going to get a makeout what does he have to lose but I didn't think of it at the time. Anyway at some point I was tired of this so I told the girl she should just tell me she's not interested in me instead of lying that some random dude is her boyfriend and I would have left. She completely switches to anger and finally comes clean about it and pushed me away. I leave lol.

The above experience was honestly an example of how I was just using nightgame as an outlet. Like yeah, I'm gonna go away if you just tell me you're not interested but don't lie to me about it. I basically got off to pushing someone to the max about it until I forced them to tell me the truth. Not saying anyone should do this, it was just my outlet.

The above interaction made me realize that my confidence is basically 90%+ of where it needs to be and I no longer need to act like a retarded asshole to prove anything to myself.

This made me think about what I wanted to do next. Now that I don't have anxiety, what can I do from here? Troy suggested that I need to have a "sexual vibe", but as someone who has literally no experience, this is almost impossible. I have some ideas I'm experimenting with but I'll talk about what worked in future logs.

Anyway, back to last night. Another thing I want to learn is how to get vulnerable with girls. I only have trouble with it because I literally don't know how to. Being secure with your insecurities is a real form of confidence. @lacroix suggested I should tell a girl that I'm a virgin, without it coming off as some scheme or tactic to get her to like me. So we figured that would involve me having to isolate a girl in the first place.

I wasn't counting my approaches but I ended up doing around 35+ I think. Most night approached are deflections in like <4 seconds so getting through those requires some work. And then majority of the interactions end up dying out after ~2 minutes because the friend shows up to "steal" the girl.

I had a bit of a toxic frustration about friends pulling away "my girl". I was like "I want to just get rid of the friend". But tonight, I decided to level with the friends who were trying to pull away the girl I was talking to with something like "hey I really like your friend, I wanted to talk to her". I don't think I convinced a single friend to stop pulling her away, but at least I made that stage zero attempt for now.

I also tried isolating girls but I was like 0/3 on that. Definitely need more volume.

I need to really learn night calibration so I'm open to any tips.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
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Manganiello
Posts: 1710 | Thanks: 2021
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 2:25 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Career Launch
Age: 33
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Sun Nov 21, 2021 3:30 pm

I seem to recall GLL had something about isolating a girl or winning the friends over. Don't remember where. But it might be worth the look.
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1768 | Thanks: 1053
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Sun Nov 21, 2021 5:12 pm

Man, I wish we could nightgame together one night so I could show you how I amp up sexuality in-set. It took me a long time to get as well. It's so, so, hard to describe through text, and even harder to read and imagine because it involves so many different elements coming together at once:

- "soft eyes" and strong eye contract
- confident smirk
- immediate physical contact, "babystepping" if needed to figure out what she's comfortable with
- strong tonality
- sexual verbals, whispering in her ear if needed so her friends don't hear

Obviously most of these things you're doing only if you're receiving positive signals from the girl.

There's no need to get vulnerable with a girl unless she's a comfort girl and you already have her isolated. Assuming you're doing the above and she's into it you should be trying to move her within the venue within two minutes.

P.S. I wrote this in my log today, but I think the optimal way to open groups and almost never get blown away by the friends is to open the friends first, THEN the target. Especially open the guys, complimenting them, then move on to the girl friends, then tease your target so it's clear who you're going after.
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