colgate - assume your childhood woes were your fault too

[RogerRoger]

AWESOME JOB dude. That's legit you kept going at the end. And I know what you mean about that zen state. Looking forward to hearing when you pull a girl from nightgame.

So tired and changed by this experience I don't even wanna write this log, but here it is.

I counted my approaches today because I wanted to beat the KYIL cold approach in a day record (124) by @RogerRoger





tl;dr summary:
I went between Kroger, Whole Foods, 2 university campuses, and the streets for about 6h.
40/107 + 1 instadate (two of these contacts later texted me to retract their interest).

Then, I ran into my instadate 6 hours after we met with her lanky 6'5" male friend and she interrupted me opening another girl. We then proceeded to have a contentious argument on the street for 7 minutes. Not long after, I was chilling on a bench in the campus and I got caught by campus police and banned from there for approaching girls. I went home at first, walked 3 steps into my house and was like....nah bro I'm gonna continue this. So I had another session between some different stores and Broadway for another 2h.
1/23

Total: 41/130




Notable approaches:
Approached yet another girl I've previously approached. I kinda recognized her but wasn't sure so I just opened her anyway
her: "I think we had this conversation last week"
me: "oh yeah lol"
*ejects*
---
girl asks me if I rehearsed this. I say "nah I just talk to a lot of people"
---
exchanged with girl from a quad with 2 guys in the group. she stopped for me and split off from her group to exchange.
---
accidentally hit on both girls in a duo at whole foods within 3min of each other. i didnt recognize the other girl because i dont pay attention to anyone else in a group when i approach.
---
girl said she's seeing someone. asked for an exchange anyway, and immediately gave it
---
actually fucking exchanged with a girl who called me "bold" for approaching her
---
group of high school boys try to say hey to this hottie asian (professor?) but she ignores them. i open her in front of them by aggressively getting her attention (i think she was listening to something on air buds so she prob just didnt hear the high schoolers). they're like OH SNAP OHHHH. i take a rejection cause she's married and then i'm like "thats how you do it boys" *and then everyone clapped* jk lolz this isnt reddit
---
girl excessively compliments my nail polish while i'm exchanging with her
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almost opened a girl twice in one day. i was walking towards her and she saw me and was like "twice in one day, huh?" and smiled. i honestly totally forgot
---
"you just said that to two of my roommates" yeah ok but if i matched you and your two roommates on tinder that'd be ok lmao (i didn't say that, if i thought of it in the moment i would have, was an afterthought). ended up saying "oh nice" and ejected
---
girl declines me with age gap after i say i'm 25 and she's 18. i don't push.
---
girl i exchange with tells me there are no more dominant males and she was "so happy" that i approached her in person
---
friend says "good for you" to girl i exchange with in a duo
---
girl tells me "yeah i know you've been going around and asking girls".
me: "yeah i have been"
her: "you know that's not ok right"
me: "what do you mean its not ok, its fine"
her: "no it's not"
me: "yeah let's just swipe on tinder all day then- I'll let you get back to what you're doing"
*ejects*
---


Recap
I started at 9:45am and went to Kroger and opened literally the only girl I thought was cute, extremely receptive asked if she was free later today, she was like "omg yeah!!!!!!!". I texted her a few hours ago and she didn't respond lmaoooo. I need to start making plans on the spot with chicks. Then I just decided fuck it, I'll go straight to campus.

Used up 25 minutes for an instadate on approach 7. It was alright and she wanted me to walk her to class and we hugged at the end. But I just wanted lots of approaches today so I decided to quit asking for instadates like I normally do.

Got an extreme positive tilt for a while, I'm pretty sure I was exchanging more than getting rejected for a while. I was definitely less pushy than I've been lately because I didn't want to waste a lot of time, but if I felt like having fun I would push to some degree.

Walked to Whole Foods and I literally got like 15 approaches trying to get out of the campus area, but then it was dry for a while. I did some approaches there and got some pizza and headed back. In retrospect I'm not sure if walking was really worth it because there was 18 minutes of dead space, but the moment I was back at campus, it took me another 13 approaches to get to my car.

Then it was just brutal volume. Between 12:43pm and 1:09pm (26 minutes) I made 16 approaches. Then I walked down the street and headed over to another nearby university and got more volume. Then I headed back to Vanderbilt. Volume started dying around 3:00pm but nevertheless, I knew it was gonna start picking up at around 4:00pm.

I was at 107 at 3:35pm (less than 6h) when my instadate from earlier today interrupted one of my approaches. I actually kinda didn't recognize her at first because she changed clothes and I never brought up that we met earlier in the day. Nonetheless, she brought her 6'5" lanky male friend to try to intimidate me or something, but his voice and attitude did the total opposite basically.

We had a contentious argument on the street for 7 minutes about how it's "not okay for a 25 year old man to harass 18 year old girls" and I stood my ground the whole time. I basically told them I'm not harassing anyone and any girl has the right to decline me. They said I wouldn't "leave their friends alone until they gave me their number" and I was like yeah, sometimes I'll ask multiple times but they can still decline and I'll dip sometimes. I told the dude he should start approaching girls and he was like "why would I do that I'm not a creep". Their definition of "harassment" is literally "talking to girls you don't know" according to their own words lmao. Also said that I can either sit in my room swiping on Tinder all day or take 30 rejections in a row in person to meet someone who's receptive and he was like "if you're getting rejected that much, maybe you're doing something wrong". Anyway at some point I was like "I don't have time for this, see you later" (I said it once halfway through the convo but kept talking, then later, the girl said "I thought you said you didn't have time", and then I was like "yeah you're right, I don't. see you later" and actually left). She closes the discussion with "security's gonna find you, you've already been reported" as I'm walking away.

In retrospect, I wonder if the instadate was baiting me to check out her side of the campus because that's where all the freshmen were. I didn't know that side existed but I didn't even think of approaching there after she showed me. I honestly don't give a fuck about age and I've opened plenty of professors and nurses (see my notable approaches below), universities just have a high volume of people. Anyway, I don't need to defend myself, but I'm just mentioning this point tangentially.

I walk back inside the campus grounds but I'm a little wary now, and don't do any more approaches. Literally 2 minutes later I see one security guard and I'm like...lol this is over. I chill on a bench and wait my impending execution, and surely enough two other security officers (cops?) surround me and they tell me to stay seated. We have a 35 minute discussion from here.

What's interesting is that they basically completely leveled with me. They said they got 15 girls who reported I "harassed" them. I made the point that I'm not harassing anyone, I'm just going up to girls and talking to them and if they're not interested they can decline. I also said that the majority of girls don't have a problem with it and if we assume that 15 more girls "felt uncomfortable" but didn't file a report, then we have about a ~10% rate of "girls who felt uncomfortable", given that I've approached about 300 girls around this campus, and therefore we just have some minority of antisocial females setting the standards for everyone else. The cop (who was also female) actually ended up leveling with me and said "yeah I actually think you didn't harass anyone either, and personally I'm the type of gal who would rather be approached in real life", and I saw the other cop (male) kind of nodding his head. Also they leveled with me in that the definition of "harassment" is basically non-existent and it's impossible to tell on the surface what someone's personal boundary of harassment is. However, they further explained, "But in today's day and age, no one is comfortable with real life social interaction and you have to do everything online, especially with COVID and all.", which I felt like was a passive rant at how things are these days hahahh.

Nonetheless, they said I'm still banned from being on Vanderbilt property because I'm not a student and it's private property and therefore I'm trespassing. I'm basically like alright fair enough, you have the right to ban whoever you want since it's your property. But they did confirm to me that I wouldn't be in trouble because I was harassing anyone. I joked that they were probably just tired of getting so many complaints that they decided to finally kick me out and they kind of laughed at that. Then they take my photo and escort me off of the campus.

I don't regret going back inside the campus after my argument on the street btw. I think I was already bound to get kicked out at this point so if it wasn't today, it would have been tomorrow. I think it was just an inevitable outcome and I just put the tape on fast-forward.

I drove home and wanted to just end the day at first. Parked my car and took 3 steps in my house and was like...."wait this isn't right...you need to finish this bro" and came out again. @Manganiello also told me I need to get to 125 and continue and not cop out.

So I went to some other Kroger and did like 2 approaches. It was really bizarre because my mind was back to the state it was when I first started approaching a month ago, and was spending like all day out, not able to talk to a single girl, but my body knew how to approach. I was like "omg I have so much AA" again, but I saw a girl and just went up to her without thinking about it. I even pushed my second approach 2x (no exchange) like it was nothing. It was like an out of body experience or something.

Then I decided, fuck I just need to get this shit done and decided let me just do some daygame strats on Broadway and finish this up. I said I'd go up to 130 for the hell of it and it took me a while because the volume here actually sucks ass at 7pm. The only exchange I got was a fucking dominatrix who wants to "stab me".

Celebrated by buying myself an ice cream.

Takeaways
Yeah so I doubt I can do another 100+ session in a day here in Nashville now that I'm basically banned from my main source. I'm technically not banned from approaching on the side streets of the campus but I kind of don't want to approach there anyway for now. I think if today's milestone event didn't happen, I probably could have gotten 140-150 given the volume patterns at Vanderbilt. I wasn't really thinking about the number of approaches I'd done up until that point and was just zoned in. I only got caught up in the last 23 because I really wanted to finish this day off and do what I set out to do.
This shit has basically skyrocketed my confidence. For the first time in my life, I actually feel like a *THREAT*. Up until now I just felt like some submissive bitchboy who couldn't stand up for himself, but I basically kept a level, but firm head throughout all of today's incidents. I never apologized but I never raised my voice or got angry, and I felt a zen that I've never felt in my life. Also this is just theory, but I think I'm really not going to be pussing out on making moves on girls in the future, or at least this will significantly contribute to that. I say this because the only reason I was able to makeout with that one girl last week was because I was like "dude you literally spent a whole month approaching, are you really gonna fuck it up now". Now I'm like "dude you literally got BANNED from being on a campus, are you gonna fuck it up now". We'll see though.
I also determined I don't even want to fuck with online dating until I get laid once from approach. I can't see myself being this driven and motivated from OLD at this point. Maybe when I have more sexual experience and I want other avenues of sex I'll take it more seriously, but I feel like pushing cold approach to the limit is forcing me to break myself down and man up. I'm also a masochist in that sense.
I feel like today's social climate+my natural inclinations want me to just be some submissive gayboy in order to comply with this world. But that's not what I want and I'm gonna continue pushing for what I want in life.

Future plans
- I'm gonna go through my contacts (I have like 50-60 that I've not shot a message to yet) and see if any of them will go on a date with me, but I'm not expecting even 1 to say yes.
- I'll probably approach in stores and more low profile venues. There's a guy in the daygame chat who had results from 10-20 approaches a day in those places and he has some tips for getting better results here (since he used to live here). I'll probably follow him for a while. I don't think I'll be doing any more approach marathons in Nashville, but we'll see.
- Going to start taking nightgame more seriously. I think it's easier to pull at night if you can find a receptive girl and I have a vague idea of what you're supposed to do but now I just need to execute it. So I'm gonna go out every night to Broadway. Approach is easy for me now, but advancing the interaction is still difficult so it'll be a good way to practice that.

[colgate]

Leaving Nashville tomorrow. I need to go back to my home city to do some quick errands tomorrow but I'm heading to Austin, TX on Tuesday. Will be staying there for probably 1~2 months, I'm not sure. I'm moving there because I have a circle of people there who are experienced with dating and day/nightgame, so it'll be nice to finally physically be around people who are having the lifestyle I want to have instead of just seeing it in online chats and forums.

I'll just post a recap of my time here for the past month.
- Went from lifetime ~100 to ~500 approaches. Learned from my friend in Austin that spam approaching with 20~30 sec interactions isn't effective and realized I was deliberately cutting the conversations too short and going for her number too quickly because I was avoiding the tension of the actual interaction (something that I probably wouldn't have had an issue with had I done the AA program first perhaps. But I've started to get better at this lately)
- Made out with a girl in a classroom from a cold approach instadate. Probably the best 5~10 minutes of my life.
- Got banned from a university for approaching 10% of all the girls on the campus in 5 days. I started running into a lot of girls who said I already came up to them, which isn't actually an issue during an approach, but I feel like since there were so many, they all told their friends, I probably got blackballed from getting dates. I don't think this is that far-fetched of a theory because I was told I was "all over social media", and even some random guy from the university somehow found my Instagram and messaged me there asking if I was a student. I had over 100 contacts in my phone at some point and got 1 (non-insta)date from being a pertinacious asshole over text. Had I done something like approach 10~15 girls a day on that campus and varied my approach venues more, I don't think this would have happened. Doing 100+ approaches in one day on that campus definitely exacerbated this.
- Started learning the basics of nightgame
- Probably more physical contact with girls than I've ever had for most of my life (mostly at night).
- Upgraded my style. I have everything from @Radical's style guide and have been wearing it all the time. People have been commenting about random stuff I've bought from the guide, especially girls I approach, so that's a good sign. Also got an earring and dyed my hair. Not sure if the earring is doing anything but I've gotten comments about my hair. Also I love having a leather jacket haha. Even my friend in Austin who's a day/nightgame god said my style/looks are basically solid (without me asking) and said I look way better in person than I do from my pictures (so I need better pics of course).


My most glaring flaw, and it has been something I've been struggling with my whole life, is I tend to go hard for a week or two, and then fade away into oblivion for another few weeks. Like after I got banned from the university, I had a bunch of days where I was sleeping for 13-15 hours and then doing nothing all day. This chat screenshot from some weeks ago probably encapsulates this the best:

Screen Shot 2021-11-01 at 5.06.11 AM.png

Some other things I need to work on:
- Handling anxiety at all levels of interactions with women. Before I got into approach, I thought it would be smooth sailing once I gained the courage just to open a girl, but now I've opened a whole new box of anxieties. Physical contact anxiety, tension anxiety during a conversation, escalation anxiety, etc. I think I've gotten over physical contact anxiety about 70~80% now though since it's the first one I identified. Getting better with tension. Have a long way to go with escalation.
- I think the reason for my anxiety ends up just boiling down to rejection. Like I'm pretty impervious to approach rejection but I still haven't deeply internalized embracing rejection at all the other stages. I've been doing more nightgame lately because at night you're forced to see through an entire interaction with a girl instead of just having a short convo and then inviting her to meet later if she's busy.
- Doing nothing is a form of complaining.
- If I don't "like" something that would be highly effective, I need to get over myself and just do it anyway. Some examples of this are online dating, alcohol, and music they play at night. This is a perspective I did not have until I started with self-improvement. For OLD, I just wanted to be away from social media and the online world in general, but it's obviously necessary for someone to use if they have no experience. I don't really like alcohol, but having a couple drinks while out at night puts you on the same level as the girls you're trying to hook up with, it's actually a calibration. Lately I've just been taking a shot before I go out since it's quick, and finding a few alcoholic drinks I actually don't mind when I'm out. And you can learn to get into music you previously didn't like to some degree. Complaining and refusing to do things like that is making things harder for no reason.
- Making sure I eat enough calories. I had a solid 2 or 3 weeks where I was eating 3000 calories a day but lately I've dipped back to my 1500~2000 calorie habits and I've noticed my lifts plateauing again. 3000 calories works for me (haven't been logging my gym routines lately because I've been pretty regular with going to the gym)


I wrote down a list of things I need to do when I reach Austin and some mindsets when I'm there, but I won't preemptively post them here because I feel like I'll just be jinxing myself. Will give myself the reward of talking about them when I actually do them instead of just saying what I'm going to do and then not doing it.

[colgate]

Just moved to Austin. Did some Tinder swiping+3 boosts and got some matches but I'm not going hard enough on it yet.

0/10 at night

First approach was literally grinding on me but eventually went to the bathroom bc I didn't bother escalating further. I guess it was a warmup haha.

Grabbed 2 girls' asses in one night for the first time.

First one was receptive and we were dancing and she said I was a "good dancer". Then her friend grabbed her away from me.

Second one literally introduced me to her boyfriend the moment I started groping her ass.

Approached some other girl whose friend told me 2-3x that she was her girlfriend. Kept telling me to gtfo (just signaling with her arm, wasn't aggressive) Introduced myself to her at first. After her last gtfo I told them to kiss in front of me. They did. I thought of that on the fly from winging my interactions.

Starting to feel really confident at night lol. Glad I did those Halloween sessions in Nashville before coming here to Austin.

[Crisis_Overcomer]

but I'm not going hard enough on it yet

Why the fuck not? You paid for those boosts.

[colgate]

Why the fuck not? You paid for those boosts.

First night I was here I used a boost but then I was socializing with everyone in this house I'm temporarily crashing at until I get my own place.

Last night I accidentally used a boost when I was about to leave and only got like 10 mins of it. Then I accidentally double boosted instead of staggering them. Got confused at the prompt when the boost ended haha.

"Going hard" basically just means actually following @Manganiello's guide for me. I got pictures and if I don't get good results after a week or so of "going hard" I'll get new ones. That statement was just an acknowledgement that I need to do it properly more than anything.

[colgate]

0/20 at night

IMG_20211106_024847.jpg

Let's go out at night with glasses lol.

Pic is where I went up to the girls and inserted myself in the pic and they accepted. Then my friend came up and was like "wait a sec". I ended up continuing the interaction with the woman on the left and walking down 2 blocks with my arm around her while my friend was distracting the other girls far behind. Tried to get the woman in this club but she went away after I took my arm off her and went in, so she was just unreceptive.

2 of the approaches had a friend who was like "this is my gf". told them to make out in front of me based on my experience from yesterday.

1 - Kissed for 0.25 seconds. I was like nahhhh I wanna see a make out let's go for 10 seconds, so they started again. Another friend tried to cover my eyes and I moved her hand out of the way. Counted 4 seconds and they couldn't do it, so I put my arm around the girl again and pushed for an interaction 3-4x. Got aggressively deflected and told them to get the fuck out of here.
2 - Refused to make out after 2-3x push. HYPER deflected. Also told them to get the fuck out of here. This one was interesting because the girl whom I approached told me she has a man and then her friend tried to tell me that they're gfs. Like lol okay let's blow our friend's cover. Anyway, later the other girl was hyper receptive to some other guy so maybe I just approached the wrong girl out of the duo lol.

Anyway, mostly all aggressive deflections for the most part. I think that means I'm sufficiently aggressive enough now.

I think now what I really just need to be aware of is making sure I don't just stagnate by only acting one-sided and purely rely on being "aggressive". That means being more self-aware of my behavior and calibrating when I need to. The only way I can see this happening is approaching more and staying consistent.

I also don't think I ever reveal my vulnerable side to girls. But it's not coming from a place of I have something to hide, it's more like I'm not even aware of what I'm hiding, if there is something.

But yeah, I definitely am feeling like a guy who goes out at night now lol. Not feeling out of place as much as I used to.

--

Also did some OLD, but not a real sesh. Boosted at 9:30pm and then accidentally did a consecutive boost at 10:00pm because I got confused by the prompt haha. Got probably 2 or 3 matches? I think there aren't a lot of people actually on Tinder in Austin on a Friday night cuz everyone seems to go out. Did another boost at 3:00am for the lolz and the only match wanted someone to piss on her lmaooo. I kind of wanted her to meetup anyway and see where it goes but I literally have no idea how to handle this. I feel like she wants someone experienced with that (I'm not into it and I have zero experience in general).

Screenshot_20211106-045819.png

I think I gotta start trying Bumble and Hinge in addition to Tinder. I wonder if Tinder is actually a real thing in the US, especially in a place like Austin.

[Sisyphus]

"2 of the approaches had a friend who was like "this is my gf". told them to make out in front of me based on my experience from yesterday"

I'm gonna copy that one.


I admire what you do bro you're crazy. 130 approaches in one day seems insane. But also you have the patience to deal with these people and try to appeal to reason. I'd just spit them in the face and keep walking.

[colgate]

try to appeal to reason.

I think even this was a mistake in my part. Andy also said the same in an earlier post on this thread. Like people who want to argue don't care about "reason" or whatever so the ideal thing to do is walk away, which I've been doing way more often now.

[colgate]

4/~15 daygame. I honestly could have done ~25 though.

First day session in about 2 weeks. The session itself wasn't really that special, but I was applying an epiphany I had from talking with my friend a few days ago.

He had an approach recently where he felt he had absolutely no energy. He decided to just approach this girl as a "low-energy dick". He was just like "what the fuck are you up to?" "damn you're already going home? that's lame", basically that kind of vibe. She ended up exchanging and now they're texting.

The big epiphany I had is being aware of your emotional state and projecting whatever that energy is onto your approach. This was a big realization for me because my early day approaches were just hyper-robotic 20-30 second convos without trying to even connect with the girl (that's how I could do 40 approaches in an hour and like 107 approaches in under 6 hours lol), and even when I realized this was ineffective, I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to actually introduce myself to girls without robotically asking her some questions and then going for a number.

I was able to apply this today by just taking a quick 1-5 second check-in before I go up to a girl and understand what my energy/feelings were in that moment, and then projecting that energy during the approach and winging it. This manifested as statements such as "give me a sec I'm blanking out" and then she giggles and I end up continuing the conversation for a few more minutes before asking for an exchange.

I've always wanted to be able to learn how to be vulnerable around girls but I didn't really know how. It wasn't that I had something to hide, it was that I wasn't even aware of what I was hiding in the first place. But I think just 1. being aware of my emotional state before an approach 2. genuinely projecting it during the approach is a step in the right direction and will help me build better connections with women.

[colgate]

5/25~30 daygame + 1 Instagram (but 1 number is fake so more like 4/30)

Haven't had a solid daygame session in a while. I went up to every girl I wanted to and had pretty good conversations with all of them. Yesterday I just felt nervous but today I felt like I just wanted to have a good time.

I took the Instagram after she declined my number push just because she was really hot. I'm not expecting it to go anywhere but I might experiment with settling for some Instagrams just to see what happens.

My friend had an interaction that provided some value for me in future approaches after we were done with the session. He often re-compliments girls during the interactions and also he usually up front asks about "what do you like to do for fun" and "what makes you cool". Basically more personal questions. I think my interactions are a bit too boring, even though lately I've been getting better at projecting my energy and frame during an interaction.

I don't care about her job and etc for example looool. Although every other chick in the domain is in tech so that makes it easy for me as someone in tech as well. Will work on being more personal with girls I approach.

[Dewm]

Solid stuff man. Loving that your emotional intelligence is growing from approaching.

[colgate]

Loving that your emotional intelligence is growing from approaching

Yeah I have always known I have really low emotional intelligence and was confounded as to how I can work on that. My current mindset on approach seems to have revealed a pathway for working on that for me.
Earlier approaching just gave me confidence and audacity, since I was doing many "impossible" approaches early on. I don't really do crazy approaches as often anymore (mainly because I'm in places with more volume now).
Now it's becoming a way to improve emotional intelligence I believe, since I'm not doing 30 second approaches and racing to extract a number on every approach. It seems based on my session today I can still get decent volume without being a robotic asshole incongruent with myself.

[colgate]

Daygame
Total: 13/25
Girls be giving their number out like candy today.

Screenshot_20211111-034208-603.png

Compared to Nashville, since I'm not being a psycho robot on my approaches anymore, more girls are actually responding to me over text I think. I think if I was being an approach machine I would have done like 60+ in the time that I took to do ~25 today (around 2-3 hours)

I should push for instadates though. I have no pull logistics for the uni but I can probably get some crazy campus experiences and have more fun with girls. I'll experiment tomorrow.



Also I picked up @lacroix from the airport tonight and we did like 30 minutes of nightgame haha.

[colgate]

I've been approaching at a university here in Austin lately. There's 7x more people than Vanderbilt and I've been getting much better at approach lately (namely, not doing robotic spam approach, and actually trying to connect with girls). I've been so zoned in that I don't feel like posting in my log and I didn't think I had anything to post of veritable value (other than just logging my approach sessions), but I'll post what I've been doing lately.

Daygame
11/11: 6/20 + 1 instadate.
The instadate was kind of weird. I took an 18 year old to a boba tea shop and she was just following my lead and letting me put my arm around her and etc. Eventually I told her to sit with me on a bench. I tried to go for a kiss after putting on some music but she deflected. I disengaged (completely separating myself from her), and re-engaged a few times but no dice. I think she was actually just unreceptive because every time i disengaged she moved farther away.
At some point I asked her if she'd ever kissed a guy and she was like "no". I tried one last time and she was like "I'm asexual" so I just got up and said "well you should get to class nice meeting you" without trying to exchange lol.

11/12: 11/30+
I opened a girl who whizzed past me on a skateboard 5 mins prior "time slowed down and my heart was throbbing when u skated past me" and I got a date with her Sunday at 2pm. Value is that I literally said what I wanted to and actually felt in the moment even if it was corny. I don't always open every girl with some crazy line like this but I genuinely felt like saying that to this girl.

I had a date with her today (see below).

Dates
Saturday 4pm - 23yo Latina met on 11/7 - girl scurries off after i put my arm around her
She arrives at the donut shop at 4:20pm and I arrive around 4:30pm. We hug and talk in line. She voluntarily pays for her own donut. Sit down talk for 15-20 mins. I start talking about music, I bring up Mongolian pop and she's like "yeah show me!" Then she asks if the donut shop has any water and I'm like I don't think so but we can get some water at my place. She declines with "I don't know if I feel comfortable with that."
So we go to the food mart across the street to get water. She buys her own water, voluntarily. Then we walk over to my place and I'm like, let me show you that Mongolian pop. She's like nooo I don't feel comfortable. Alright.
Walk 2 more laps around the block and try to get her back to my place but declined both times. I decide this isn't going to work so I just walk somewhere else with her.
We walk to some place with large chairs and people watch while talking for another 5-10 mins. I tell her to sit down with me in the same chair I'm sitting in. She's like "I don't feel comfortable..." Alright lol.
At this point, I want to end the date so after another few minutes of talking, I scoot my chair next to her and put my arm around her. She jumps up and says "well it was nice meeting you but I don't think this is going to work out". I say bye without looking at her and leave.
--
So this was basically a "mileage date". I know that girls won't acquiesce to pulls right off the bat so I tried a couple things a few times before deciding that it wasn't going to work so maybe we could chill outside somewhere and see what happens. But the fact that she was unreceptive even to physical contact means this wasn't going to work out.

Sunday 2pm - 18yo on skateboard met on 11/12 - first pull + no hookup
I arrive at the donut shop at like 2:15 and she arrives at 2:16. We hug and talk in line and then I recommend her a donut and I purchase our donuts.
Sit down and talk for like 8 minutes. As we're finishing our donuts, I bring up music. We talk about what music we like and I mention Mongolian pop. I'm like yeah we can go listen to Mongolian pop at my place. She says "yeah that sounds good" with zero pushback. (when I talk about rejection being "mileage", I see this girl having zero resistance about coming back to my place as a result of me handling the girl yesterday who declined 3-4x pull attempts. today's girl was like the "exit" on the Interstate).
We go to the food mart to buy some waters (I buy her water too) and head over to my apartment. She sits on my bed and I pull up Mongolian pop and put my arm around her. She's ultra receptive to cuddling with me.
So after 2-3 minutes I try to kiss her and she's like "I don't wanna do that..." I'm like, damn that was too good to be true haha. Anyway we keep going through various songs and I try to kiss her 2 or 3 more times. The last time she said "I don't wanna do anything" I just say "We're not going to do anything, I just want to kiss" and she declines again.
But she's still cuddling with me, and honestly as a guy who literally has never brought a girl back to his place and has rarely been physical with girls, I'm literally getting high and giddy off of just cuddling with her and holding hands. So I enjoy it for a bit. Stole the trick of putting her leg above mine from @Manganiello as well which felt awesome.
I kind of start touching her thigh here and there but I don't do much beyond that.
At some point I start reaching for her breast over her shirt while my arm is around her. She resists here and there in the most adorable way, by interlocking her hand with mine. I try it 2 or 3 more times and at some point she just lets me kind of massage her breast over her shirt. We're watching Beavis and Butthead now btw.
Later I start going in her shirt and start feeling her up under her shirt. I've never touched a girl's breast directly so I was just content with this. She continues to nuzzle up next to me and chill.
It's like 4pm and I was going to have another date at 5pm, and I got high off of my own supply and postponed my date with that girl over text. Literally 2 or 3 minutes later, the girl in my bed is telling me she has to go study and that this should be the last video. In my head I'm like NOOOO I fucked up postponing this other date aaaaaaaa. After 2 more videos and feeling her up she kind of gets up and sits. I take her shoulders and go in for a kiss and say really softly "just once". We make out for about 2-3 minutes and then she pulls back like "you said just once". I'm like alright lol.
I walk her out the door to her car and we kiss on the street for another 30 seconds.

I'm REALLY frustrated that I cancelled the date with the 5pm girl today. I was literally just so high off of cuddling and feeling up the girl from today because I never got that experience in my life until now. It's something I've wanted and been so jealous of everyone since I was like 14 years old. I actually felt like I was on drugs and it impaired my judgement. But you have to fuck up a lot and learn and keep going.

Daygame check-in
So I've done about 100~150 approaches since I've moved to Austin. Some people may say this is a wave, but since I've changed my approach interactions into having 2-3 minute conversations with most girls and trying to connect with them, my approach->date conversion rate has gone from 1/250+ to around 1/40. I have 50 contacts from my approaches so far and got dates from 4 of my contacts.

I've talked about how I think "rejection is mileage" several times, but the concept really crystallized today in a hallucinogenic dream I had after my 2pm date left. I saw myself 400 miles out on the Interstate in the desert. And my exit is 163 miles away. I could sit around (e.g. like how I did in Nashville for about 2-3 weeks) and complain about how I'm not at the exit yet, or I could keep going and see the rejections and adversity as necessary prerequisites for the positive outcomes. With some fine-tuning to my approach from my friend here in Austin and executing it over the past week, I got a pretty positive outcome. Now I've hit the point of no return. I know that getting laid is an inevitable outcome if I keep approaching and handle all the adversity along the way and not complain.

Daygame approach is high volume (50~100 girls a week) + connect with the girl by being emotionally in check with yourself + handling adversity and not complaining along the way. I think I know how to do pickup now. Pickup gets you to meet girls, get them out on a date and then get them back to your place. The main component now for actually getting laid is just learning bedroom calibration which is entirely separate, but I'll figure it out.

Nightgame
I've been going out every weekend night, but don't have much to report for it of any value. The main thing I've been doing now is honing my "aggressiveness" into learning to enjoy myself at night. When I go crazy on the dance floor now and try to be the center of attention, 3-4 girls will pull me to dance with them. Think I tried to kiss 1 or 2 girls but got deflected. But right now, nightgame is more of an outlet for me to find out what my "real" personality and energy is because now I always go out with 2 or 3 shots of alcohol in the tank, and basically act crazy. Some of my nightgame interactions have been carrying over into daygame in how I approach girls as well. I see nightgame right now as just a training ground for overshooting aggressiveness and craziness and then seeing what value some of those interactions may provide in daygame.

[Manganiello]

But she's still cuddling with me, and honestly as a guy who literally has never brought a girl back to his place and has rarely been physical with girls, I'm literally getting high and giddy off of just cuddling with her and holding hands.

I still like that stuff.

Good job man seriously.
Making serious blasts of action.
If everyone did as much as you are right now they'd be doing much better.