I guess this is one of those "chicken and the egg" problems. As in, if I knew how to behave as if I had 10 other girls I probably would, but I don't, and I'm not sure what parts of my behavior are revealing to her that I don't have options.Holden wrote: ↑Fri Aug 12, 2022 9:34 amYeah I know you're not in abundance right now, but you should behave as if you were. The point I was making is that your Tinder profile does make you look like you have 10 other girls, so girls will expect behavior congruent with that. Then when you don't, it's weird to her.
There are some specific parts of the interaction I think threw me off guard and I could have handled better:
I didn't change my response when she said "I don't mind if you see other girls". I'm not really sure exactly what I should have said other than what I actually said (which was actually true).colgate wrote: ↑Fri Aug 12, 2022 7:55 amInitially when she came over, she asked me if I was seeing other girls. I said "you're the only girl I'm seeing right now", which is technically true. But I'm not sure it was the optimal response.
She said she noticed that I had changed my tinder pictures. So I told her that I went to Austin over the weekend to meet some friends. Then she said that I don't mind if you see other girls.
I went against my plan.colgate wrote: ↑Fri Aug 12, 2022 7:55 amThen she still had about 2 hours to go before she had to go to work. If I were following the above plan, I probably should have just sent her off. But I made the dumb excuse of "well she lives really far away and what is she even going to do in the meanwhile"
I think because I had this plan in mind, I didn't act maximally forward to try to get the lay at all, but I didn't follow the plan either, resulting in this 3rd meetup being zero change from last time.
There are a couple options I have, I'll reiterate them
1. redo the "plan" next time she comes
2. take her on a "date" (and play (m)ltr game with her), maybe/maybe not bring her back after and maybe/maybe not go for the lay
3. go for the lay the next meetup and straight to crib
4. don't hit her up and wait for her to hit me up (and if she doesn't, lose her, which would be fine because I probably need to get burned atm)
very confusing situation for me haha. after the second meetup i thought the lay was inevitable down the road. then she sent me those texts and after this meetup i'm not sure if this is salvageable or if i can veer the trajectory towards a lay (and if i do, it'll probably teach me a lot of "comfort" calibrations)