colgate - first instadate of the year!!!

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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AskTheDom
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Mon Aug 22, 2022 8:16 pm

Ah the twitter arm chair Pua's coming after you , careful because I heard their game is KILLLLLLERRRR
Mario "The Dom" Tubone
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BDG-95
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Tue Aug 23, 2022 2:41 am

Dude - as a fellow 5'5 guy, this 6'5 girl story is really fucking crazy. It reminded me of this date I had last December with this cute 20 year old black chick who was 5'11 and wearing 3 inch heels. We never made out/had sex/or anything so I didn't think it was worth posting about. I always thought it was a fluke that I even got her on a date,, but you really opened my eyes to the possibility :)

Thanks for keeping strong dude- this story really gave me motivation to grind even harder.
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Jacobpalmer123
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Tue Aug 23, 2022 6:38 am

Nice work on the 6'5 girl. Even with the 180$ brunch still cheaper than an escort. I'm suprised I read the whole thing.
Get a tech job
Get 2 lays
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MakingAComeback
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Tue Aug 23, 2022 7:24 am

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING

BULLDOGS ONLY

MAC
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Manly Cockfellow
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Thu Aug 25, 2022 2:00 pm

This is one of the greatest things I've ever read, worthy of inclusion in the memoirs of Casanova himself.

@colgate you are a god among men, a star among embers, a legend among losers, the hero we need but don't deserve...

and
(and I mean this in least gay way possible)
I love you brother.

Amazing, amazing, amazing job
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Toast
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Sat Aug 27, 2022 4:25 am

Good shit brutha
colgate wrote:
Mon Aug 22, 2022 10:01 am
i change clothes, then i solve my rubik's cube a couple times, and then we fall asleep
After the whole story you dropped this line and i busted out laughing
Japanese Lay count -10

Toast's AA Log
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=517&p=9840#p9840
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colgate
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Sun Aug 28, 2022 9:04 am



date stack
date stack i will implement going forward

key differences from earlier will be
- framing interactions and dates with girls as a value-exchange rather than trying to push my way into trying to get laid
- emotional connection rather than boring chat
- not being obnoxious and trying to strategically pull at all costs, assuming the girl wants to see me for a second date even if she doesn't pull on the first

digital/chatting addiction
been going through @september's addiction recovery notes as he's been able to kick many habits through the easyway/rational recovery method. going to start with reading this note he wrote and adapting it to my own situation.

this has been repeatedly been my achilles heel for my slow pace at accomplishing goals and being inconsistent with many things such as the gym and other hustle i need to be doing. most of the hustle i do tends to be just things i'm "motivated" to do, but the universe doesn't care about how "motivated" you are

going to give you guys an update with my own notes by next sunday sep 7.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
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Bman
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Sun Aug 28, 2022 10:35 am

colgate wrote:
Sun Aug 28, 2022 9:04 am
digital/chatting addiction
As grateful as I was to be invited into one of the KYIL telegram groups with some of the other guys here, I ultimately had to delete it from my phone because I wanted to check it to often throughout the day.

It's the same reason I don't have any social media accounts, they are just to much like crack for me. So while I don't get the benefit of getting immediate feedback from those guys, I gain the ability to focus on my goals which is more important to me.

Good luck on the dates this week!
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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twonightstander
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Age: 31
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Sun Aug 28, 2022 10:40 am

colgate wrote:
Sun Aug 28, 2022 9:04 am
digital/chatting addiction
been going through @september's addiction recovery notes as he's been able to kick many habits through the easyway/rational recovery method. going to start with reading this note he wrote and adapting it to my own situation.
Trust me, you are far than alone on this one. I have this too, and it makes me procrastinate a bit too much some days. That is why I don't use Tinder anymore and I should still limit more my Telegram/Whatsapp use. Working on it.

I will check these notes and your log to see how you're doing with it. Get after it man!
Goals completed (2022)
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colgate
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Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
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Wed Aug 31, 2022 6:47 pm

first bumble date ever lol (mini-milestone because i previously never got a single message from the app before my new pics. volume is still low tho).


In the interest of "providing value to girls" I thought of an experimental date idea where rather than just some drinks or tacos, I take the girl to a farmers market, make her curry at my place, and go from there. I hate having bullshit conversation and have no idea how to do that overly sexual dialogue style yet (could be learned tbh), and I think I would project my vibe better doing something I would already enjoy and showcasing more "practical" value than just autistically showcasing my music.

Obvious downside of this type of date is 2-3 hours long instead of 20-60 minutes, but upside of being "unique", I can get the vibe of the girl better, and she can see how I act towards other people. Plus there is way more time to get the girl to open up to me, and I literally don't have to pull. I also have food for myself later too.

The Rice and the Pool Noodle
We meet at the grocery store below my apartment.

She has huge bazonkers. I stg she has F cups. and short pink hair and red eyeshadow or something. But huge bazonkers.

We start heading up to the parking garage floor with my car.

But I forgot to start soaking the rice

I tell the girl we need to go to my unit real quick so I can soak the rice before we leave. Joked about how she's going to tell her friends later that "omg I met this guy and we immediately went to his place after 2 minutes after saying something about rice it was so weirdddd" and she giggled.

Then some guy knocks on the door while we are at my place.

He dropped his pool noodle onto my balcony ledge

these crazy ass mfers partying at 3:45 on a tuesday

ok if i die right now tell my mom i love her
hehehe ok 😊

Jumped over the railing, walked over the ledge, and handed him his dumbass pool noodle.

Then we were off to the farmers market.

The Farmers Market
Chatted in the car, trying to probe the girl about what topic she would open up to as per my date stack. I think I kept stalling at the specific details of what she likes/does and couldn't figure out the "emotional connection" part still because I'm a robot and need the mirror neuron hardware update. Will actually read this before I go on my next date.

Regardless, the girl was very feminine and had a super girly voice which was great. Had accidentally

Headed over to the market and I bought heirloom tomatoes, giant! garlic, chicken thighs, and shishito peppers which are not spicy but I'm making curry for an American so it's okay. They have a decent smoky flavor though.

Then I bought us bubble teas at a stand.

Since I literally have no plates (ok I have one now.........maybe...................) we headed over to Wal-Mart.

En route, I tried to get the girl to talk about her first job and crazy stories there, and also some of her past relationship stories.

The Curry
I had her chop the onions, tomatoes, and chicken while mansplaining and ranting about random cooking tips, like how to hold a knife properly, how moms never measure anything (although now I never measure anything either so I'm a mom now I guess), and how to properly cook rice.

Here's how to properly cook rice btw:
0. Make sure you have washed and soaked! the rice for an hour already. To wash rice, pour some water into a bowl of uncooked rice, use your hands to mix it up, and dump out the cloudy water. Repeat 2-3x until the water isn't cloudy anymore.
1. Get water to boil in a pot with some salt and a tiny bit of coconut oil or ghee.
2. Put in the washed and soaked! rice
3. The water's temperature will reduce so the water won't be boiling anymore, but it will get up to a boil again
4. Wait a few minutes and "test" one of the rice kernels by taking one out of the boiling water and biting into it. If it has a white "dot" inside, it's not cooked. Cook until you see no white "dot" inside the rice kernels
5. Turn off the stove, cover the lid and drain out all the water
6. Put a spoon of ghee onto the rice, mix it, cover the rice and let it steam for 5-10 minutes.

I'll be honest, while she was in the kitchen I wanted to slap her ass and start doing mild escalation but I actually didn't have the balls to. This was an obvious opportunity to do it. Not sure if it's necessary to do it anyway, but I was mainly nervous about whether it would decrease or increase my chances of a lay in the bedroom, or if it has no effect. So I ended up just status quo-ing eghhhhh probably someone can give me advice.

Did I mention how she has bazonkers

Then we sat next to each other on the sofa and ate the curry, and she ate it faster than I did.

i take that as a sign that you liked the curry
hehe

The Bedroom
Pretty much immediately pulled to the bedroom with "have you tried mango cream liqueur", which I had deliberately stowed in the bedroom ahead of time. Mainly so Troy and his girls don't steal it lolz!!!!! Might actually start having an actual alcohol setup in my room going forward.

I had bought the mango cream liqueur because I'm Indian, but I'd never tried it. Poured us small amounts to try...

it tasted like soap!

fucking GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we're going to stick with coconut rum...

Standard escalation from here where I show her 2 of my songs, then threw on maxwell - urban hang suite to begin the makeout, which I got. She was already leaning into me before a little bit.

We makeout for maybe a few minutes when she suddenly gets up and sits up completely.

uhhhhhhh

I pretty much stay lying down and non-react. We look at each other for an eternity (ok like 30-60 seconds) and then I grab her arm and tell her to lie down again with me.

Cuddle, go for makeout again. Start feeling her up a little bit. She gets up and sits again.

are u ok...
yeah
come lay down

Many rounds of this. I progressively tried to touch her in more and more sensitive areas but repeatedly got my hand batted away from her breasts/pussy region. Additionally I would move her hand over my chest, onto my bare chest (I had unbuttoned my shirt at some point), and she would enjoy it, play with my necklace, feel my chest etc, but would instantly pull back and resist when I tried to move her hand over my crotch area. Eventually she would randomly sit up again and stare at me, I would get her to lay down again, and then she would enthusiastically cuddle and nuzzle, only to repeat.

while cuddling and stroking her hair
are u ok...
yeah
are u worried we are going too fast
....yeah
well i'm a man and you are very cute. so this is what i do

One more round of the makeout + get up, but now I'm just irritated so I'm just like FUCK THIS and aggressively grab her leg and put her on top of me.

Now, to my mild surprise, she positions herself more comfortably and starts dry humping me cowgirl while continuing to make out with me. I am diamond hard!

Finally, I pull her slut strapless top down and expose the BAZONKERS.

Start to squeeze and suck on them and also making out with her.

After maybe 2-3 minutes of that she "pats my chest" and gets up, pulls her top back up. Gets off the bed and stands and says

I think I'm going to go now
ok

ok in retrospect maybe i should have attempted to pull her pants down or told her to take off her bra (I had just pulled her breasts out but she never actually took her top/bra off.

Anyway, now she just blankly stares in the room and looks around for like a whole minute while I sit in bed and do nothing.

how about you stay for 30 more minutes

So she comes back on the bed.

I'm thinking, FUCK i am not about to get blueballed after what just happened.

Decide to future project the second date while we cuddle with a lil arcade skeeball-bowling alley.

omg!!! i love that place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This time I get a makeout and I start to unbutton my jeans.

Then I move her hand over my underwear with my hard cock.

She doesn't pull back this time and starts caressing my cock and playing with my balls with zero guidance from me other than putting her hand there. Yeah, exactly.

I try to put her hand down my pants, but she immediately completely disengages.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME TO WHIP IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I expose my bare cock and start jerking off.

Then I start playing with her bazonkers, including moving her strapless top down, without kissing her.

She complies, so I start making out with her again.

Then I move her hand over my bare cock and she starts jerking it.

I have to teach her how to do the rhythm I want using my handjob tutorial and now it's good.

Then I pull back

suck my dick
...n...no??? <-- the nuance here was she was trying to be like "bad bitch" sassy but ended up just coming off really nervous so that was kind of cute actually

Disengage and relax for a second. Get everything going again with the breast fondling, her stroking my cock, and making out. This time I decide, ok fuck it time to explode.

I guide her with the proper rhythm and intensity again and let her go off to the races.

And then explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all over my chest.

I quit everything immediately, pull her strapless top back up, pull up my pants, clean my chest with toilet paper, button my jeans and shirt.

ok you said you had to go right
yeah

So I walked her out to her car. Started bringing up the second date idea again while walking and how I'll beat her score, etc.

She didn't give me the "i'll find my car by myself" spiel at the bottom of the stairs, ok good sign.

Walked her to her car and then kissed goodbye.

ok that's it





did i mention she had bazonkers btw


update: story continued here viewtopic.php?p=42513#p42513
Last edited by colgate on Tue Sep 13, 2022 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log

see my interview!
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Manly Cockfellow
Posts: 449 | Thanks: 358
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2022 8:14 pm
Goal: Become the men I fear
Age: 37
Motto: Mk no smll plans; thy hv no pwr to stir mens blood

Wed Aug 31, 2022 9:29 pm

colgate wrote:
Wed Aug 31, 2022 6:47 pm
Here's how to properly cook rice btw:
0. Make sure you have washed and soaked! the rice for an hour already. To wash rice, pour some water into a bowl of uncooked rice, use your hands to mix it up, and dump out the cloudy water. Repeat 2-3x until the water isn't cloudy anymore.
1. Get water to boil in a pot with some salt and a tiny bit of coconut oil or ghee.
2. Put in the washed and soaked! rice
3. The water's temperature will reduce so the water won't be boiling anymore, but it will get up to a boil again
4. Wait a few minutes and "test" one of the rice kernels by taking one out of the boiling water and biting into it. If it has a white "dot" inside, it's not cooked. Cook until you see no white "dot" inside the rice kernels
5. Turn off the stove, cover the lid and drain out all the water
6. Put a spoon of ghee onto the rice, mix it, cover the rice and let it steam for 5-10 minutes.
Come to KYIL for the Tinder guide,
but stay for the cooking tips!
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
Contact:

Fri Sep 02, 2022 8:44 am

the time has come

this is a new era

mother nature,

you've tested us browns for far too long

you've decided we're the dogs of humanity




and our response is:




THE UNIVERSE SAID WE ARE DOGS SO WE SHALL WORK LIKE DOGS

we know, literally everyone we see start at the same time we do blast off immediately

we know, there's the guy girls immediately go up to no context "i wanna have sex with you!!!!"

we know, even the guys who go to a foreign country who have girls just throwing themselves at them, crying when they can't meet in person, asking to come soon, asking if they can stay again

you said that's not for us, we won't get that

you just give us the girls who don't want to do anything as a consolation prize

BUT WE'RE THE BROWNS

WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK THAT YOU DON'T GIVE US ANYTHING

WE FUCKING LIKE IT

WE FUCKING LIKE GETTING NOTHING

YOU SAID WE ARE DOGS. WE WILL WORK LIKE DOGS

WE ALREADY WON BROWN VS THE BOARD OF EDUCATION

NOW IT'S BROWN VS THE WORLD

BRING IT MOTHER NATURE

STOP FUCKING TEASING US.

"oh yes, here's your little hot cheerleader, oh yes here's your giant girl" *pats on the head and smiles*

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE WANT THE BIMBOS

WE WANT THE HOES

WE WANT EM ALL

NO CONSOLATION PRIZES

GIVE US THE REAL THING

MOTHER NATURE YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE WILL MILK YOUR FUCKING MOMMY MILKERS UNTIL THEY BLEEEEEEEEEED

IT'S BROWN VS THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤🟤


Wednesday Night Date


Last night I met up with a 24yo Colombian-adopted chick for drinks. I had arranged this date before I had decided to do experimental date ideas.

This girl was very enthusiastic over text and even had randomly texted "hey how are you doing?" a few days before the date. Also, I had done more investment over texting like how @Mimbe393939 does, so I'm like an actual real person and not just another tinder number.

I tried to follow this date stack i had created for figuring out emotional connection instead of being a soulless robot running code.

holy shit that was fucking exhausting

I had set up the conversation in a way that got her to talk about her passion for children, as she is a primary school teacher.

I actually let the date last around ~45 minutes which is longer than I usually go just to really make sure we went deep. The main takeaway I got was that she likes interacting with children because they are "honest and pure", and I chimed in with my own experiences with kids here and there, and agreed, etc.

I go for the standard "let's listen to my music at my place" pull and she agreed. We went to my room and I sat on my bed with my laptop.

but she's like i'll just sit on this chair here

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i told her she can sit on the bed but she declined so i was like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok we will roll with this (because my chair is a rolling chair).

Played 2 of my songs, then turned on bossa nova because I had talked about that with her (she's a latin dancer, but somehow didn't know about that).

I told her to sit on my bed again and she said she's ok. ffffff ok. In retrospect, rather than telling her to sit on my bed again, I probably should have just gone for the makeout even though she wasn't on my bed, but the whole "oh im not going to sit on your bed i will sit on this chair" thing threw me out of my zone. dumb excuse i know FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told her to show me some salsa music, but she was like "oh...i dont know any of the names....i just dance to it" wtf???????? uh um ok.

I am literally restraining myself as much as possible, like never before.

I end up bailing on the pull after another song like "ok let's walk around outside" in an attempt to show her the second date place and chill.

So we leave and we walk around for like 2ish minutes before she decides "hey i actually gotta go home, i have to wake up early for school" so im like ok.

I walk her to her car and make some forced chat and then we hug goodbye.

I come back and I have a fucking headache from trying to "emotionally connect" with a girl lmfao

Get a good debrief from Troy and rant in my group chats for a bit and that's it


Takeaways
Lots to unpack here. With this specific date there are a lot of obvious things I could have done to be more direct and screen at my place
- try to kiss her even though she's sitting on my chair
- get her to dance with me in the room by just getting up and taking her hand (i had soft-asked her which is lame af. thats like asking a girl "hey do u want to kiss" who does that)
- maybe next time have 2 chairs so i can babystep the bed thing more and i can just get the makeout while we're sitting down on the chairs, rather than going straight to bed
- maybe babystepping going to my bedroom by showing her the balcony and chilling in the common area for a bit

But there are a lot of general things I am not doing that would be effective
- making sure i do touches during the date. i'm honestly pretty inconsistent with touches during dates, i do it sometimes but sometimes i don't. i think i need to explicitly add it to my date stack
- building sexual tension, or for that matter any kind of tension during the date. @pancakemouse and others have given me plenty of resources to dig into this and so why i haven't bothered looking into it seriously is beyond me. fuckin retard LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had written this set of notes while talking to Troy:
the girl must know you want sex -> but telling a girl "i want sex" does not communicate that
ok...how do you effectively communicate wanting sex to a girl then...

the girl needs to be turned on to want sex (logically too, not just "soaked") -> you need to do small steps to show her that you want to have sex
^ see this date+pull report where i turned on the girl "primally" and she was soaked! but she was repeatedly objecting me and i didn't get past some unenthusiastic handjob: viewtopic.php?p=38751#p38751
ok...but what are the small steps...and you often get rejected on the small steps too... -> non react on the rejections (i've done that before, but it's good to mention)

And in general, the mindset with dates is really: the male is the performer, and the female is the audience. The female, and for that matter the universe, doesn't care how much you're "cognitively overloading" yourself and trying to make shit happen, just like how when I go to a movie, I don't fucking care about the millions of dollars spent, hundreds of hours of acting rehearsals, video effects, and editing that went into the movie, I just care about the movie being good. So the girl is going to be more perceptive of everything you're doing because she just has to show up to the date and do literally nothing except worry about "omg is this guy going to kidnap me xDDDDDDDDD i'm so scaredddddd!!!!!"

July-August 2022 online stat breakdown
I won't count my luck of the draw first two Tinder lays because I wasn't actually hustling yet, I literally was playing "sit on the toilet and passively use tinder" game.

So I've gotten around 200-240 matches, 22 dates arranged, 8 dates showed, 6 pulls/straight to crib, 5 makeouts, 3 hjs, and 1 lay (on date 4)

pretty abysmal stats.

Here are the points to improve:
- high flake rate (over 60%!) -> improved text game that involves also investing and getting the girl to not only open up, but also you have to open up to her. case study @Mimbe393939 has had only a 10% flake rate during his 7 lays in 3 weeks spree (9 shows from 10 arranged!)
- pulls/escalation -> my pull rate is actually very high, and i think it's because i talk about being a musician in nashville, and then use "let's listen to my music" to pull, so it's a mild DHV rather than a generic "let's watch movies" pull. however, my music is very cute and bouncy and most fatally, not sexual (i was already aware of this, and that's also why i switch to other music for actually escalating). although i might be able to ditch this cheat pull by doing more "activity" first dates like going to the farmers market and cooking curry, where i don't even have to pull. additionally, all the crap above about no screening and tension done by me

Retrospection
ok i dont want people in the replies being like "omg colgate-sama, give urself credit, ur so great man! u have come a long way! ^o^". like yeah that's true. i can acknowledge that.

a year ago, i was a total virgin with only 2 makeouts in my life. my problem and goal then was literally getting laid once. and that took me forever partially due to my own initial lack of experience and "base stats", and partially due to making a lot of mistakes regarding my strategies. hell, i'd only been on literally 2 dates at that point, both thanks to kyil.

now my problems have become "omg guys, im going on dates but they're not hooking up" "omg guys all i got was a handjob", which if you told me that this would be my problem in the future, i wouldn't have been able to imagine it. but at least now i do know if i sit and hustle tinder for a week or two, i will definitely get at least 1-3 dates. low, but existent date volume. and damn, i'm even inviting a plate (u know who) over the weekend, which a year ago if you told me "yep you're going to get guaranteed sex in a few days" i would look at you like you're crazy

but they are still problems to work on, i'm not where i want to be and i won't stop until i'm there.

Action Points
ok to distill all the analysis and crap from above, this is what i need to do going forward
- study text convos that @Mimbe393939 sent me and develop a new texting stack to reduce my astronomical flake rate
- plan how to learn creating (sexual) tension with girl (i have enough resources for this, i just have to do it)
- probably learn how to uhhh be more empathetic somehow which i still don't know how to do
- revise my pulls so that i'm not literally cornering the girl into sex which gets me into LMR land
- modify my date stack to include these points
- edit: work on voice so it's masculine, deep, slow and can be sexual
Last edited by colgate on Fri Sep 02, 2022 12:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log

see my interview!
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Holden
Posts: 1620 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2021 1:36 pm
Goal: Rotation
Age: 28

Fri Sep 02, 2022 9:00 am

omg colgate-sama, give urself credit, ur so great man! u have come a long way! ^o^

In all seriousness though, tension is created by silence and eye-contact, and speaking in a slow, deep voice. You don't actually have to *do* much

Sometimes when I invite girls they also sit down on my chair instead of my bed next to me. Then I just tap the bed and tell them "come sit here". That works 50% of the time. The other 50% it's a sign she needs to be more comfortable so I just talk a bit more. I'll make up an excuse to show her something on my pc, then tell her to get up from my chair so I can use my pc, have her sit on my lap. Then try to get her on my bed again after I showed her a video or whatever.

Or I stand up, pour ourselves some wine, stroke her thigh, try to kiss her that way, but honestly it's pretty awkward with me standing up and her sitting down. Not ideal and only works if you've created a lot of tension
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colgate
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Fri Sep 02, 2022 9:14 am

colgate wrote:
Fri Sep 02, 2022 8:44 am
tension is created by silence and eye-contact, and speaking in a slow, deep voice.
yeah fuck, my voice is still high energy and i talk very fast. how I'm talking in my videos is exaggeratedly deep and articulated, but i am cognizant of going into my fast, almost gay register in a conversation.

i think it comes from a base level of impatience and wanting to get the thought out as fast as possible, end my "native language" literally being "chat room on a screen", therefore being less aware and in tune with how my real and physical voice actually came off, flummoxed at apparently it was coming off as gay

for now I have vocal courses i should be doing that I've been procrastinating so that should be another action point for me
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Holden
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Fri Sep 02, 2022 9:19 am

colgate wrote:
Fri Sep 02, 2022 9:14 am
yeah fuck, my voice is still high energy and i talk very fast. how I'm talking in my videos is exaggeratedly deep and articulated, but i am cognizant of going into my fast, almost gay register in a conversation.

i think it comes from a base level of impatience and wanting to get the thought out as fast as possible, end my "native language" literally being "chat room on a screen", therefore being less aware and in tune with how my real and physical voice actually came off, flummoxed at apparently it was coming off as gay

for now I have vocal courses i should be doing that I've been procrastinating so that should be another action point for me
Yeah I remember that post about the gay tonality. When I "unlocked" the skill to speak from the diaphragm instead of from the throat, and when I became comfortable enough with myself to speak more slowly, it was real epiphany moment. Especially when I combined that with sending voice texts to girls.

I think it's just as important an area of improvement as style and body and it's greatly overlooked. It's one of those things that make an immediate difference.

People speak fast because they're insecure and scared of being interrupted. I truly believe that speaking slowly is not just a "technique" but a consequence of simply being confident, but like so many things in this game, it's a matter of "fake it til you make it"
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