Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Spider Jerusalem
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Sun Jan 16, 2022 6:41 pm

Zug wrote:
Sun Jan 16, 2022 6:08 pm
Loving the gym planning,
Hey @Zug

I thought about what you said the other day and it’s about time I got off my ass and actually lifted some iron instead of half-assing it from home.

I think once I strengthen my core more with proper exercises and use of actual equipment, my back will start to feel the benefits. I’ll still keep up with the stretches, push ups and sit ups, but see them as complimentary as opposed to an alternative to proper gym workouts.

Thanks again man - your input is always appreciated ⬆️

Regards,

Spider 🕷
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Spider Jerusalem
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Sun Jan 16, 2022 7:16 pm

CainGettingLaid wrote:
Thu Jan 13, 2022 7:28 pm
Spider Jerusalem wrote:
Thu Jan 13, 2022 6:20 pm
I'm going to carry on with the Push Ups and Sit Ups with a goal in mind. I'm going to aim for the following:

- 77 Push-Ups in 2 minutes
- 82 Sit-Ups in 2 minutes
Make sure you don't focus on those two specific exercises too much. You might get asymmetric muscles which make you prone to injuries and bad posture.

Make sure to always train the opposite muscles as well. Pushups train the chest a fair amount (depending on what kind of push up). You will get a forward hunched posture if yoi don't train your back as well. The front muscles respond to growth stimuli more easily too, so this is a real risk. I have this problem and pains caused by it. Sitting hunched in front of screens and such too much is a factor in this too.

I would recommend doing different kinds of 30minute full-body workouts. Make sure each of them is well balanced across body parts. Doing different ones has the purpose to give variety in excercises.

Another point: Many people recommend not doing situps, but instead crunshes. I can't fully remember but I think the reason was that situps strongly target hip flexors while most people want to use them to train their abs.
@CainGettingLaid

Hey dude - sorry I forgot to reply to this the other day, just wanted to say thanks for your input and the good advice

I'm going back to the Gym I've decided and now have a workout plan from when I spent time with my P.T before lockdown - including back exercises to try strengthen the core muscles

I get pain too from poor posture myself- mostly in my back, but also in my ribs on occasion from being folded over all the time over a desk! This something you've experienced too?

I have spinal issues which just makes everything a lot more painful. The socialised healthcare system here combined with the 'if it ain't COVID we ain't interested...' attitude that's going around which I experienced when I tried to get a doctor's appointment to get seen (ended up with a telephone consultation where I was told it's not serious enough for them to see me in person) means I'll likely have to live with this for a long time, but it's manageable most days.

I think going back to the gym and taking yours and a couple of the other guys on here's advice will definitely help I think. It's the best route to take as long as I keep an eye and don't do any 'ego lifting' when some cute blonde in tight Lycra walks past!

Thanks again man

Spider 🕷
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CainGettingLaid
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Mon Jan 17, 2022 8:29 am

Spider Jerusalem wrote:
Sun Jan 16, 2022 7:16 pm
I get pain too from poor posture myself- mostly in my back, but also in my ribs on occasion from being folded over all the time over a desk! This something you've experienced too?
For me it's mostly pain in the shoulder centering on the upper tripezius. This is due to shortened chest muscles, hunched forward head and hunched upwards/forwards shoulders.

I didn't go to a doctor for a while. Finally did it. He diagnosed it and gave me a prescription for 6 sessions of physiotherapy. Not much, but the lady that is doing it is really competent (moreso than the doctor lol). But yeah the covid shit is crazy. The orthopedist I visited tried to convince me to get vaxxed after the consultation on my shoulder and after our fruitless discussion he got mad and told me I shouldn't visit him again if I'm unvaxxed.

Wish you all the best, hope you will find some help eventually.
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Spider Jerusalem
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Mon Jan 17, 2022 7:15 pm

Day 98: 17/01/2022 ✅

Quitting nail biting 💅

Not really an exciting topic for an update, but probably the most significant thing that's happened today. Lol. I hate working in an office 👎

I’m a pretty bad nail biter.

I've bitten my nails for probably about 17 years + and not just the nails. but the skin around them. Because I suffer with anxiety and OCD (never really opened up about this before, but Fuck it) I have bitten the skin around my nails until they have become bloody, red and swollen.

So much so that the skin is inflamed, swollen and red around my nails.

Looking into this, it could be scarred but after stopping biting, this inflammation, swelling and redness has gone down (although it's still there) and has started to heal a little.

Reading around, this looks like chronic paronychia and inflammation as a result of years of biting. My nails have now even started to grow back. Going to need to do some serious skincare and might look at some nail nourishing gel to fix this.

I can't remember a time when I didn't have my fingers in my mouth, so I'm looking at turning this around.

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:10 Hrs 🌅

- Did 14 push ups and sit ups in addition to my back stretches this morning. Also stretched off last night before bed and might keep this up going forward for maximum benefit 💯

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Listened to Episode #147 of Andy's Podcast - Day 147: What Counter-Strike Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement [Part 2] 🎤

Good to carry on from the previous Episode. I might start looking at comparing my life to a video game and trying to level up my own character. Joe Rogan has the similar advice of 'being the hero in your own movie'.

- Worked 08:00 Hrs - 16:00 Hrs 💾

Just a standard day in the office. Not much fun. Rather be doing something else but it is what it is for now.

That's it for today's update - not much further to report. Hopefully tomorrow will be more interesting ☀️

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
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Striker
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Tue Jan 18, 2022 1:56 am

Spider Jerusalem wrote:
Mon Jan 17, 2022 7:15 pm
I’m a pretty bad nail biter.

I've bitten my nails for probably about 17 years + and not just the nails. but the skin around them. Because I suffer with anxiety and OCD (never really opened up about this before, but Fuck it) I have bitten the skin around my nails until they have become bloody, red and swollen.
Lol bro I'm the exact fucking same. Bitten my nails since forever. Never once used nail clippers on my fingernails because I'd bite them 100% of the time.

Bought that nail biter polish thing you recommended and I've managed to stop for about 2 weeks now, feels good.
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Spider Jerusalem
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Tue Jan 18, 2022 6:27 pm

Day 99: 18/01/2022

Buffer post - exhausted from work

I'm pretty beat from work, so this is just gonna be a crappy one. I'll do a proper update tomorrow

- Woke up at 04:10 Hrs

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station

- Listened to Episode 148 of Andy's Podcast - Day 148: What Counter-Strike Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement [Part 3]

Good to see there's still some people left in the video game industry who have some morals and haven't bowed down to corporate virtue signalling. I see similar journeys on the forums here - people who start with nothing and embark on a journey of transformation.

That's it for today.

No photos as it's just a quick buffer post. As I say I'm shattered - gonna get an even earlier night tonight

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷
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Spider Jerusalem
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Wed Jan 19, 2022 7:32 pm

Day 100: 19/01/2021

Another Panic Attack - Considering Therapy

Can't believe I got to Day 100 of my 365-Day Project!

I wish I had something positive to put down on today's post, but I had another panic attack today. Whilst on a work call. With my new boss.

Made the excuse I was feeling sick and went to the bathroom. Hyperventilated like crazy and threw up.

I've been struggling with health anxiety lately. I keep thinking I've got cancer despite being a non-smoker, non-drinker, healthy(ish) eater, being a healthy weight and regular exerciser (I walk 3 miles a day).

I'm going to be honest and say this is probably because I watched my parents go through cancer and a heart attack very recently. I was close to tears today.

Everything came at once and I just lost it like I did the other week. The increased workload isn't really helping. It's been a while since I've had a panic attack and never this frequent - 2 in the space of 2/3 weeks.

My boss's answer? 'Make sure you take a COVID test if you feel unwell'. I won't go there.

I consulted with a nurse tonight who has informed me that she thinks I have health anxiety. After going through my symptoms, checking my vitals and listening to what I was saying, I was told that I did not have anything seriously wrong with me - O2 level and heart rate both excellent and no symptoms except the ones likely pointing to health anxiety.

I need to keep an eye on this. Might go back to therapy at some point. It's getting a bit concerning now. I don't wanna be a quivering mess and I've already lost 2 days of self-improving through my anxiety attacks.

That's it for today - just a block of text but I needed to get things out of my mind and onto a log of some sort for my own sanity/clarity. Consulting with the nurse has really calmed me down and has put my head straight.

Fucking nightmare lately, but I'm not giving up.

Thanks for reading

Spider
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Adam
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Wed Jan 19, 2022 10:04 pm

No shame in therapy if it'll get you to your goals quicker. Good on you for posting 100 days straight
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Spider Jerusalem
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Thu Jan 20, 2022 5:09 pm

Day 101: 20/01/2022

Feeling a bit better

Bit more positive today. I'm feeling a bit better after a bad day yesterday with my panic attack etc. Worked from home today and spoke to the nurse that I know who I spoke to last night.

We're kind of casual friends and she's been a nurse for 15 years. Basically told me it's in my head all my worries and I'm overreacting. Told me she bets her life on me not having cancer or something serious and if there was any indicators of anything wrong, she would have told me to go to the Doctor's urgently. She has told me to go and discuss my panic attacks/anxiety.

I've always been conscious about having mental health conditions on my medical record, but I'm at the stage now where it's starting to interfere with my life and I think something needs to be done. I no longer wish to go into any job where it may affect career prospects e.g. back into the police. As I now realise I just want a decent paying job which will allow me to improve and where I can enhance my sex life as well as my overall living standard.

I'm going to do Andy's exercise where he recommends imagining your perfect life. I'll think on this some and then note it here.

That's it for today. I'm very tired after working and yesterday, so going to get an early night tonight and take it from there. I'll get back on the updates soon, but I need to get over this hurdle first. Taking it a day at a time.

No photos as I'm just getting my thoughts down for now.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷
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Spider Jerusalem
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Fri Jan 21, 2022 8:55 pm

Day 102: 21/01/2022 ✅

Bonus Payday 💵 and Panic Attack 3 averted ⬆️

Some good news. Got my last pay check from my old job today. 800 Bucks. I have put 100% of this into my savings account 💵

Wasn't expecting to get this much today - thought it would be 300 bucks, so this was a nice little bank account top up. I've made a point of saving my full pay check every month and will try to keep this up for as long as possible this year ⬆️

Should be able to stretch this out a while as I cut all of my expenses right down. Only thing that's really costing me at this stage is bus fare to work, but this is a necessity. I save a bit of money buying a monthly pass too. Besides, I can use this on weekends if I decide to go out anywhere 🚌

So I managed to avert Panic Attack number 3 today. The story behind this one is both equal parts hilarious and ridiculous:

I got a missed call from my boss (I was in a meeting) and called back 10 minutes later when I got out. No answer. No big deal, I'll catch them in a bit as it's probably not important.

Got back to my desk and switched the monitor back on to be greeted by a message on my computer:

'Please call me back URGENTLY'.

So I start to freak the Fuck out. I'm thinking 'What the hell?!'. Somebody puts a message like that, you'd think the building was on fire, or that you've made a colossal Fuck up and you're gonna get your ass fired on the spot. Or, they think you've been embezzling funds or committing tax fraud with company money and the cops have been called and are on their way... etc. etc.

So I start to panic.

I went and asked around if anyone had heard from this particular boss and what could be so urgent.

Nobody knew.

Tried calling a couple more times and... nothing.

Replied to the message and... nothing.

Eventually, I get a call back. What was this highly urgent, important thing?

'I Needed some figures for a report, but I've submitted it anyway when I couldn't get hold of you so don't worry...'

🤦‍♂️

Luckily I chilled myself out and didn’t freak ⛄️

Also forgot one of my earphones today - in all fairness, it fell out of the case. Was the most boring bus ride ever today though I will say that! 😴

Know I've had a bit of a grind of a week for various reasons, but I'm going to try and get back onto my regular updates now and keep up with the self-improvement. I have weeks like this occasionally and it's just one of those things. Shit happens 💩

A very brief update today 📝

- Woke up at 04:10 Hrs 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Ordered some Birthday presents for myself - I'm nearly 27. I'm gonna be a big kid and not open them until my birthday. Lol. Not really big on celebrating my birthday, but I’m trying to be more loving towards myself 🎁

- Have been listening to Andy's Podcasts and I will make a list over the weekend as well as what I got out of them 🎤

That's it for today's update 📝

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

We're getting there! ➡️

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
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Spider Jerusalem
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Sat Jan 22, 2022 7:46 pm

Day 103: 22/01/2022 ✅

Spider's 'Podcast Roundup' 🤠 and Hand Care 🤲

Thought I'd do a 'Podcast Roundup' - Yee-Haw, Howdy Partners etc. 🤠

I've listened to quite a few podcasts this week to keep my mind off things and distract myself after a rough coupl'a days. Like a dumbass, I didn't post about these on my log, so I'm going to do a quick recap now as well as a few lines on what I got out of each 🎤

I've also decided to take care of a bit of a longstanding skin issue. Not very pleasant, but I've got a wart on my thumb. Popped into a pharmacy today and bought some salicylic acid - prescription strength. I've always picked at it due to anxiety ad bitten it but it's not very pleasant when meeting girls and I'm a bit self-conscious to be honest 💭

So, I've now decided I'm going to try and obliterate it 🎯 ☢️

I'll put the acid on morning and then cover it with a plaster to stop me picking at it. I'll do the same at night although I'll take the plaster off for a bit first and put a fresh one on. Thank God plasters are cheap! 🩹

Gonna have to be persistent with this as it's a persistent skin problem. I've had enough of it and now I'm working an office job, I can actually start to look after my hands a lot more. Need to get a skincare routine going - 10 minutes a day will probably work wonders long-term ⏰

Here's my Podcast Roundup: 📝

Day 149: How to Avoid STDs (Are They as Scary as People Make Out?)

Agree with this a lot. I stress massively over pregnancy, but not so much STD's. I did stress one time where this girl I dated briefly told me she had chlamydia - upon reflection, I think she was making this up out of spite. She was a bit of a crazy pink-haired feminist. I only stressed because I was worried I'd passed it on to someone else if I had it and wasn't sure how long I'd potentially had it. I was negative in the end and she'd made it all up as a little petty pathetic 'Fuck You'. What a bitch. I always wear a condom now and this eliminates the stress. In fact if a girl doesn't want me to wear one, that's a red flag and I now don't sleep with them as it's a bit of a risk. Common sense really.

Day 150: How to Take the Lead Without Being Controlling

Solid advice. Too many men think being controlling is 'dominant' when in reality, it's being a creep. Anyway, with something like that, you'd have to keep the control up all the time which is pretty impossible for guys who aren't used to it, so eventually the girl sees through your little charade, loses respect for you and Fucks off. I've never wanted to control girls outside of bedroom roleplay, so I appreciate this good advice.

Day 151: How You Can Encourage Others (Even If You’re a Total Newbie)

Just because you're new doesn't mean you can't help others along. I've recently been helping people a lot older than me through breakups and to quit smoking. I also try post on a few logs on here as and when I can to encourage others. If I think I can give some good advice, then I will. Been through quite a bit of bullshit in my time, so on some things I can relate and advise e.g. depression, bad dates etc.

Day 152: When Should I Lower or Raise My Standards? (The Ebb & Flow of Standards)

I'm now a little bit more picky with my standards, although I wasn't when I was younger and first getting started. I am hopeful as my looks improve, I can be pickier and get away with more as well as dictating the terms: Andy's advice is bang on when he says that the guys who have got their looks and body in order can dictate their terms and write their own ticket eg. FWB no relationships.

Day 153: Radical Ideas: Go Outside More

I have been taking this advice this week. Instead of taking an hour's lunch, I get up from my desk and walk outside for 10 minutes even when it's cold. Stretch my back off and give my eyes a break from the computer screen. Fresh air works wonders.

Day 154: Winner’s Mindset vs Loser’s Mindset (Female Listener)

Fantastic episode. One of my favourites most definitely. I've had a Loser's mindset as a result of listening to other people's negative normie NPC opinions. I now try adopt the winner's mindset. Getting drama and criticism from people for doing things like waking up at 04:10, going to the gym, reading books over playing Xbox etc. is something I just shut out now and write the criticisers off. They can do their own thing.

Day 155: 3 Ways to Live with a Woman and Still Be Productive

Good advice. I don't plan on ever living with a woman as I also like my own space but I agree about sleep being paramount. There is an old saying that 'separate beds make for a happier marriage'. If a girl can't respect my boundaries and doesn't have her own stuff to work on, then I'm not interested.

Day 156: Radical Ideas: My Top 5 Flaws

Good to admit your own flaws publicly - respect for this. I definitely have my flaws which I try to regularly acknowledge and confront so I can try to address them.

Day 157: Does “Building Comfort” Matter? (Patreon Question)

I think this excuse gets used for a lot of procrastination e.g. 'I'll go to the gym when I feel comfortable...' as well as with dating.

Day 158: My Top 5 Strengths

This is something I need to do more of. I'm my own worst enemy and constantly criticise and focus on my own faults.

Day 159: Sharing Resentment/Anger/Frustration, Whilst Still Being on the Same Team

I've been in 2 relationships in 11 years. They didn't last very long because of reasons like this one. I now endure to be honest in the future with girls I date.

Day 160: Don’t Make Excuses (Stick to the Fucking Plan)

Jocko has similar advice. There's a section in his book I can remember that addresses excuses - I hear excuses every day and I try and avoid doing this to myself now. I'm always amazed at how the mind can try talk you out of doing stuff and the bullshit excuses that it can auto-generate!

And here's today's update: 📝

- Woke up at 04:10 Hrs 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Did 15 Push Ups and Sit Ups. Almost Fucking killed me as I took a break from this! Least I'm back on it now ⬆️

- Went out and bought my brother another birthday present. Wanted to get outta the damn house anyway 🎁

- Bought myself another birthday present - this one wasn't cheap, but it'll help with self-improvement. It's an investment. I'll post about it on my Birthday as I want a couple of other things too and I'll just do the one post in one go 📄

That's it for today's update 📝

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
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Spider Jerusalem
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Sun Jan 23, 2022 7:53 pm

Day 104: 23/01/2022

FUCK. ME.

My hands are still shaking as I type this.

Went out for a drive with my brother about 2 hours ago to get petrol (was planning on driving to the gym next week in the mornings) and I was waiting to turn right into a filter lane. This particular road goes from 30 to 50, so you get the odd car who slows down late etc. and comes into the ass end of the 30 limit zone doing 40, but that isn't usually a big deal as that's a safe enough speed in the area which is largely industrialised.

As I was waiting to turn, this car was approaching in the distance. He was miles away, so I was about to turn right. All of sudden, he turned his lights off. Next thing I knew, he was right up on us: Fucker sped up to what must've been 100 MPH and cut across the lane to HEAD STRAIGHT TOWARDS US INTO OUR LANE.

Literally 100 MPH HEAD FUCKING ON.

I saw him coming and I had a split second to react and swerve the car left into the ONCOMING TRAFFIC who were doing 30 MPH and were thankfully able to stop their cars. I managed to avoid having a head on collision with this CUNT.

That was when I saw the flashing blue lights following up behind: 2 unmarked Cop cars were chasing this Fucking Dipshit.

He was obviously wanted on warrant or on the run for some reason.

Managed to get us back home safe.

My brother burst into tears.

I've just thrown up.

My parents are in shock.

My life literally flashed before my eyes. I thought I was done. Taken out by some Fucking scumbag probable drug dealer fleeing the cops.

If he would have hit us at that speed, we'd both be dead or, at best, Fucked up.

If I'd have turned right, my brother would've got the full force in the passenger side. I might have lived, but with the knowledge I did and my brother didn't.

Thankfully I turned left, but if I'd have been a split second slower, it would've been me taking it full on in the driver's side.

I hope they catch this Fucking Cunt and he gets made into some prison bitch by a guy with a 12 inch cock for the next 15 Fucking years.

Doubt I'll sleep much tonight. I'm still in shock.

I did have a draft typed for this, but Fuck it.

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷
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MakingAComeback
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Sun Jan 23, 2022 8:05 pm

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

SPIDER

Cannot believe this man

Thank FUCK you are ok

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

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Squilliam
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Sun Jan 23, 2022 8:06 pm

Shit man, glad you are okay. Sounds scary
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/

- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~350/1000)
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Adam
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Sun Jan 23, 2022 10:32 pm

Scary shit. Glad you're safe
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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