Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 56: 06/12/2021

Today went okay - not awful, not great, but okay. Nice to come home to a tidy room after work as well as waking up to it this morning

I'm feeling a lot more positive, but I got a bit down while I was at work. Probably a combination of shit weather, passing thoughts about what happened recently and office politics, but I'm moving forward

Got my self-improvement done this morning and I'm doing a few bits tonight too

I've adopted a streak mindset where I'm telling myself if I keep up getting early and doing what I've been doing, I'll reap the rewards

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs again - I'm getting between 6 and 7 Hours sleep and this feels 'okay'. Not great, but not awful. I find that I'm flagging a bit around 2 P.M during the workday and it goes downhill from there. I've been doing some research around sleep and by the looks of things, I need to try and get at least a solid 7 hours. I'm going to try and aim for 7 and a half hours and then I might work up to 8 hours, so I need to be in bed by 21:00 to start initially. I'll try get to bed by this time tonight and take it from there

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- Had Coffee and Contemplation this morning at my Battle-Station

And

- Listened to episode #57 of Andy's Podcast: 'How We Met!' Very interesting story as well as inspiring to hear how far Imogen has come in her self-improvement journey after meeting Andy. Definitely agree with Andy when he was mentioning about girls being dumbasses coming back to a guy's place on the first meeting. There has been a few high-profile cases here where things have ended badly for the girl after an online date. Saw some of these kind of horror stories in my old job too. When I am actively dating, I always offer to meet for a at least 1 coffee first so the girl is comfortable if she needs it

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- Purchased a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelias. Andy recommended this to me yesterday and @Dewm chipped in to echo the benefits. I'm definitely open to embracing a healthier form of Stoicism where you acknowledge your fears instead of locking them away and avoiding them which can't be healthy mentally.

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I've never been an overly-emotional man and beta soyboys who are annoy me, but locking everything away isn't healthy either. Gotta be a third way which is better

So I bought a cheap copy off the book eBay for 4 bucks used. I think society would be much better if more people started reading. I feel like there is a wealth of knowledge locked away which has become largely ignored in today's modern society of iPhones and Netflix. I can't worry about other people though - that's their choice and I can only worry about myself. I'm now actively trying to read for at least half an hour a day every morning

- Read some more of 'Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender'. What I read in the book recently really resonated with me. There was a chapter on why people beat themselves up about things and feel guilt and shame: They actually enjoy it. This didn't make sense to me at first, but after reading on, it started to make sense. Andy mentioned there is an arrogance aspect to this where it almost becomes a 'status symbol' where people can declare 'I'm a special kind of Fucked up'. It seems as if this is a 'totemic standard' which depressed people try and achieve by sinking deeper into their depression purely for the bragging rights. There is also the mindset of 'This is good to feel this way as I deserve it'. This has really clicked with me

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- Downloaded a porn blocker and got my brother to type in a password which I can't guess after Andy's suggestion. Hoping this helps me with my No-Fap goals

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- Day 3 on No-Fap. Making steady progress

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- Worked 09:00-17:00 Hrs. Another day another dollar Not exactly enjoying my job lately. I'm surrounded by women and I'm the only man. Don't mean to sound sexist, but there's a lot of rumour spreading and, talking behind people's backs that goes on. Standard water-cooler talk. I got not time for gossip, so I'm keeping out of it, but I do feel sometimes I get spoken to very sharply and in a tone I do not care for at all. Fuck it though. Money in the bank. Go in, do my job, come home

That's it for now. Gonna rest up and maybe read some more of Letting Go before I wind down for bed

Photos have been attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Now]

"Marcus Aeraleus"
"Marcus Aurelias"
"Marcus Auerelius"
Every time the man's name is mentioned here it's spelled different, love it
Gonna throw my hat in the ring too and recommend it, through two thirds of it myself and it's influenced my journaling style immensely. Not a book you read from cover to cover though

- Worked 09:00-17:00 Hrs. Another day another dollar Not exactly enjoying my job lately. I'm surrounded by women and I'm the only man. Don't mean to sound sexist, but there's a lot of rumour spreading and, talking behind people's backs that goes on. Standard water-cooler talk. I got not time for gossip, so I'm keeping out of it, but I do feel sometimes I get spoken to very sharply and in a tone I do not care for at all. Fuck it though. Money in the bank. Go in, do my job, come home

This sounds like a recipe for disaster man, you can go "fuck it" for a while but resentment will build. I worked as the only dude in a team of females in a small retail shop once and it was horrible, I feel your struggle. Being in the gender minority makes it easy for a "you vs them" mentality to form, watch out for that.
Office Politics by Oliver James may be a worthwhile read depending on how long you're gonna be working there.

[Spider Jerusalem]

@Now

Ha ha yeah I'm not gonna disclose whether I looked up the correct spelling before I typed it out or not aha!
I agree - I think it'll be a 'slow burn' book where I read a little every now and again and pick up bits and pieces here and there.

It's a bit of a drag. I've always struggled with working with females as guys just tend to get on with it and not cause drama. Obviously there's exceptions to that - I've occasionally met the odd bitchy guy who acts like one of the girls (probably because he thinks it'll get him laid!).

Thanks for the book recommendation! I've added it to my reading list I've started compiling. I'll see how long it takes before I get pissed off and wanna leave paha.

Regards,

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 57: 07/12/2021

Okay day today. Feeing much better about things and work has been alright, so I can’t complain

Gonna try get to bed earlier tonight as I'm pretty beat. Long hours in front of a computer may not be physically tiring, but it sure is mentally

Got to work super early this morning too which didn’t help, but I used this ‘dead time’ productively

- Woke up at 04:30. Wanted to get to bed a little earlier last night, but a relative visited in the evening so had to stay up until about 20:45. Managed to get to bed by 21:00 last night. Took me a little while to get off, but I think I got a little extra sleep last night which is a bonus

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- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station this morning

And

- Listened to Episode #58 of Andy's Podcast: 'LostCause on Hiring a Prostitute to Lose Your Virginity'. Really inspiring to see someone just go out and get it done instead of sitting around and complaining@Lostcause.

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I can relate to Polish/Eastern European girls being very cute - there is a large Polish Community here in the U.K and the women are definitely a step higher looks-wise. I think this is partly due to women from Eastern Europe being less into feminism and more into traditional aspects such as feminine beauty standards, fat isn’t beautiful etc. The flipside of this however is that they aren't as sexually liberated or open-minded - I have dated Polish girls and experienced very similar behaviour and attitudes, so it's a bit of double edged sword sometimes

Vaguely remember reading some Red-Pill stuff on it years ago and it seems they got this part right, although there is always the exceptions

- I have started noting down questions to ask Andy for our upcoming podcast and will get a rough structure of what's lead me to this point in my life journey

- No-Fap - Day 4. Still going strong and keeping it up. Porn blocker is definitely helping. My phone is the real culprit, but I also installed it onto my laptop as well just as a precaution. Was a bit difficult yesterday as a girl from my past got in touch and sent an unsolicited nude. Think I'm gonna have to politely request no nudes from now on - something I never thought I’d be requesting!

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- Read some more of 'Letting Go'. Was going to read some last night, but I was pretty beat after a long day. Could've stayed up, pushed through and read, but I decided to prioritise the sleep which I think was definitely the right decision as I don't think I would've retained the information as well and it would've become a lost effort. I'm starting to be more 'tactical' with my time and trying to be smart not just about WHAT I do, but also WHEN I do it.

I'm also learning to adapt and overcome.

I now have to get to work for 07:15 some mornings as I get a lift in from my brother who starts his job earlier, but I start at 09:00 as my car is broke and the training hasn't been done properly so I can't work from home. There's a McDonalds across the road so I go in there, buy a cheap cup of coffee for a buck (I'm not spending loads on McDonald's breakfast as it would Fuck up my financial goals) and listen to Andy's podcast then read more of my book

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I actually knew someone who spent 800 Bucks IN A MONTH on eating out and takeaways. I was Fucking gobsmacked when he told me.

- Worked 9-5 Went a bit better today and I think I know why:

The girl who acts off with me seems to only do it in front of this other girl - other girl wasn’t in today

Obviously feels the need to look like a ‘kickass tough girl’ in front of her friends. Pretty pathetic really

That's it for today's update

A standard day really and nothing much of note.

Need to get back in the Gym soon. Got a bad case of procrastination, so a Massive Action Day will soon be upon us. Might even call it the 'Day of Reckoning' for pure psychological effect and to get me pumped. Worked with my desk and chair *ahem* 'Battle-Station'

Stay tuned

Photos attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[MakingAComeback]

Oh snap you're in the UK Spider? Where about boy?

I'm split between London / Warwickshire.

MAC

[Spider Jerusalem]

Oh snap you're in the UK Spider? Where about boy?

I'm split between London / Warwickshire.

MAC

Hey what’s up Mac

Yes mate - I’m a Brummie, so I’m over in the Midlands

I been to Warwick Castle years ago Don’t like London much myself though I must admit

Killing it with the regular posts and putting the graft in mate - really good to see

Regards,

Spider 🕷

[MakingAComeback]

Oh snap you're in the UK Spider? Where about boy?

I'm split between London / Warwickshire.

MAC

Hey what’s up Mac

Yes mate - I’m a Brummie, so I’m over in the Midlands

I been to Warwick Castle years ago Don’t like London much myself though I must admit

Killing it with the regular posts and putting the graft in mate - really good to see

Regards,

Spider 🕷

Hahaha god damn bro I was at the University of Birmingham, so I lived in Bham for 4 years and know Brum very well.

MAC

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 58: 08/12/2021

Over the past week or so, I’ve been trying to put more effort into my log updates as it is my 365-project and I want to actually take it seriously - I may do another one next year and want to get into the habit of putting effort in when I can

Okay day again today. Feeling a lot less guilty compared to last week and I've come to terms with things - or rather I'm in the process still, but I’m getting there ‍

Broke my No-Fap streak, so a bit of a bad start to the day, but I'm learning to see the positives in situations thanks to the book I'm reading. Work was alright - bit of snappiness, but nothing major. Usual girl shit

Also made a commitment in regards to Jiu-Jitsu which I've detailed below. Got my reading, early wake-up and podcast (usual stuff) done as well, so keeping up the streak

Todays Update:

- Woke up at 04:30 again

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- Broke my No-Fap Streak, but I'm looking at the positives:

- I Got to day 5.
- Didn't binge.
- Didn't use porn.

I'd beat myself up about this in the past, but I think the book I'm reading is really helping. I've acknowledged that I'm not perfect and that as someone who is still a young man, this is completely natural to have these urges and desires

I've Reset my counter and I'm back in the game

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- @KillYourInnerLoser Andy sent me over some podcast dates/times - currently working out my schedule, but gonna get back to him very soon and put something in motion

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station this morning

and

- Listened to Episode #59 of Andy's Podcast - Day 59: I Need to Pay My Bills, & Moving to a New City. Really inspiring to see Andy and Imogen going all-in, especially during a very turbulent and uncertain time with COVID and the COVID-economy. Got laid off myself back then and had to re-apply for my own Fucking job and took a pay/hours cut when I did get my own job back so I know how difficult it was and how much of a leap it must've been for Andy to do this so respect to him and Imogen

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- Read some more of 'Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender'. The last chapter I read was very interesting regarding Grief and Suffering. The chapter discussed a lot about repressed emotions and how holding them in can lead to these feelings building up over years and affecting future relationships, friendships and your life in general

I recently mentioned on my log that I come from an old-school family where 'Stoicism' or a version of it where you don't show your emotions is the general consensus and part of how I was raised. I see now that this can be damaging and the book mentions that acknowledging and accepting your emotions in order to work through them is a crucial step in 'letting go'. The book I have recently purchased - Meditations by Marcus Aurelius upon Andy and couple of other forum members recommendation is something that I believe will help with this so I can embrace a healthier form of Stoicism and acknowledge my emotions but without them overwhelming me

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- I have signed up for a Foundation Jiu-Jitsu course and paid the fees in full up front to hold myself accountable and ensure I commit. This course starts on 05/01/2022. I felt this was the better option as opposed to jumping straight in and getting my ass kicked considering I haven't trained in years. Soon as I started training a couple years ago, the Government went full dictatorship and we went into Lockdown over CoronaBollocks. I've made a financial commitment today anyway to show I'm serious

- I have decided to change my financial goals after looking into my finances. Instead of saving £1000 (1325.30 USD) a month, for the first year, I am going to try to save £1250 a month (1656.63 USD). After assessing my finances, current saving, bills, and other outgoings, I think this is something that is achievable. I want to save as much money as possible to set me up for my future where I can own my own home. I've also cut down my expenses significantly by cancelling a lot of my subscriptions and pointless bullshit I was wasting my money on. I'll see how I get on with this one and I can drop back to £1000 if necessary

- Worked 9-5

Little bit of bitchiness and snappiness in the office today, but it's just a load of shit which I'm brushing off and working through. Boss says I worked real hard today and got a lot done - Yeah, Probably because I don't gossip. I'll be working from home soon anyway by the looks of things so Fuck it. I'm just thinking of the money I'm on and the fact it's an office job and I'm not working my old job which I hated

That's it for today's update

Gonna relax a little now and maybe do some reading if I got time before bed

Photos have been attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Hahaha god damn bro I was at the University of Birmingham, so I lived in Bham for 4 years and know Brum very well.

MAC
[/quote]

@MakingAComeback

Aha you and @Radical will probably be amongst the very few who'll actually be able to understand me when I'm on Andy's Podcast with my Brummie accent!

Small world indeed!

Regards,

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 59: 09/12/2021

Bit of a nightmare day in the office but I made it through and I’m home now so Fuck it 🕊

Productive day again and kept my streak up

- Woke up at 04:30 this morning - still going

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- No-Fap - Made it past 24 hours again - really encouraging to be back on it and I'm going to try and make a good go of it

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- I was going to listen to Day#60 of Andy's Podcast, but this one is about an hour and a half long and I'd need some more time to listen to it to properly to take it in, so I Watched one of Andy's recent YouTube videos this morning: 'Lets Talk About Sluts'. This was really interesting as I definitely agree with the fact that the word 'Slut' is overused and often wrongly. I have seen how society uses this word to shame people for behaviours that really shouldn't be shamed such as choosing to explore their sexuality and have a good time. I think people need to just say 'Fuck Normie Opinions' and think for themselves. I started having this attitude and I felt much better about life in general. I really couldn't care less what people think anymore

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- Gave my room a very quick tidy this morning. I’m finding the best thing to do is properly clean it once a week on the weekend and then just tidy it quickly in between e.g. Making bed, clearing desk, hanging clothes back up/putting in washing basket, emptying the bin etc. Little job sure, but cleaning my environment has definitely helped improve my mood and mental health

- Read some more of 'Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender'. Yesterday I read the chapters that were recommended to me especially on Guilt and Shame . This was Fucking eye-opening. Really made sense how society has effectively programmed us to just willingly accept guilt and bad feelings as well as believe that they are deserved and necessary without question.

Guilt and Shame has become a 'normalised' part of society. The key here is to say 'No' and reject this 'You should feel Guilty' and 'You should feel shame' Brainwashing that we have effectively been subjected to. The book states that in order to overcome this, we need to Question EVERYTHING.

Enough is Enough. I think it's time to start questioning my programming.

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- Worked 9-5 Bit of a stressful day today. Made a minor mistake on an order, but shit happens - especially when I get thrown in the deep end and I get attitude whenever I ask for help. An employee who isn't management is also trying to boss me around a little, but I'm standing my ground. Lots of anti-men bullshit in the office too and the sexism towards men is pretty much running rampant! It's light entertainment for me as I'm just laughing it off

On a side note, the Government has gone full crazy again and said we all gotta work from home now from Monday. I'm quite happy about this as I can start hitting the Gym before work now as I'll actually have the time

- My SD Card for my Sony Walkman arrived - can put like 10000-15000 songs on it now - not that I probably will, but good to have the space there for the future. This was a good investment and it's already saving me a lotta money every month, so thought it would be a good idea to make sure I can use it and put as much music on as I want

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- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius also arrived today. Looking forward to getting started on this one once I've finished Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender.

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- Re-assessed my diet plan. Soon as I go back to the Gym, I'll start this at the same time - I'm gonna need to fuel my workouts.

- Messaged Andy regarding the upcoming Podcast and scheduling The time difference is making things a bit difficult, but we're working it out

That's it for today's update

Gonna go read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 60: 10/12/2021

- Woke up at 04:30 - forgot to take a photo of my clock today unfortunately

- Got the podcast scheduled with Andy for the 28th of December 2021. I'm going to start some preparation for it tonight and over the weekend and will send him over the necessary details. I've never done a Podcast before so it will be an interesting experience!

- I listened to Episode #60 of Andy's Podcast last night while I had time - 'Day 60: AI, Venture Capital & Walking with CEO Dennis Mortensen'. Found this discussion really interesting particularly around some of the scarier aspects of Artificial Intelligence. I wrote my University Dissertation on Police Technology Use during COVID and A.I application were considered and actually used by some police forces and Governments across the World. Word that sprung to mind whilst I was researching for this project? 'DYSTOPIAN'. 🏙 🖲

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- Had Coffee and Contemplation this morning at my Battle Station

and

- Listened to Episode #61 of Andy's Podcast: 'Day 61: Quarantining in Brisbane & My Patreon'. As if I didn't get enough Dystopia with last night's Podcast about A.I: Absolutely insane to hear how the Government went full crazy in Australia and arguably still is a Fucking insane Fascist Dictatorship

I can remember seeing some of the shocking incidents that were occurring and the behaviour of the police and the security services was/is absolutely disgraceful. Of course, the mainstream media didn't give a shit about any of this and labelled people who were just going to the shop or for a walk 'Grandma killers' and 'Disease spreaders'. Or those who were protesting were arrested at home in front of their kids and labelled 'rioters'. Made me realise how much I admire the Libertarian viewpoint. Definitely amplified and lead to the fact that I now think that the Government/State should interfere in the life of the private individual as little as possible 🏛

I'm glad Andy and Imogen managed to get out.

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- I have read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. Yesterday's chapter was on Desire. I found this chapter really useful and it made a lot of sense. Desiring and wanting something can actually be a blockade to getting what you want and the better option instead of desiring something is to choose to allow it to happen e.g. If you want to have an elite body, thinking about it and desiring it will not get you there, but choosing to go to the gym and eat properly will. You make the conscious choices and then allow it to happen instead of desiring it

Also discussed the problem of glamour - you expect something to be amazing then when you get it, it isn't and sends you on a downer. Something to consider for the future as I've been guilty on occasion of building up an idea of an event, person or a product and then I've been disappointed because it's not what I thought it would be. This chapter also mentioned a book that Andy recommended recently: 'Glamour: A World Problem'. Might have to add this one to the list as it seems like a real big issue in modern society which I myself am not immune from I must admit

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- I have started writing a 'Sexual Bucket List'. This is something I've been meaning to do for a while and thought it would be a good idea whilst I'm on a dating break and my mind isn't clouded by Dating, Tinder, and other online dating sites etc. I think it's good to shut off the distractions sometimes so I can clearly think about what I want from dating/sex. Especially after a bad experience

- Bought myself a denim vest. I saw this particular item a while back and liked it, but it was out of stock. It has now come back into stock for Christmas. Promised myself I'd get it if it came back in, so I chose to buy it. Christmas present to myself - got it before they're gone again! This year I’m going to make a point to ask for/buy myself items which will help me on my self-improvement journey 🏞

- Got into the office an hour early, so listened to another of Andy's Podcasts. Episode #62 - Day 62: Open Relationships as a Newbie, Calling vs Texting. Really good advice here. I'm now always upfront and honest with girls I'm dating about what I want as it just causes drama, pain and suffering. With girls being how they are these days, you don't know what they might do to get 'revenge' at you 'using them for sex' by not being honest and upfront from the start. Especially true in the era of #MeToo and Social Media

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- Bought a copy of ‘The Slight Edge’ from eBay. I’m now reading for about an hour a day for 30 minutes every morning and 30 minutes every night I have seen this book recommended by Andy many times on his website as well as on the Podcast. As I’m reading more now, I want to start building my book collection so I’m always having something to work my way through and I think I’ll start making a note in my signature of what I’ve read

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- Worked 9-5 I’m glad it’s Friday put it that way! Another day done another couple of bucks in my pocket More office politics to contend with today, but I'm practicing Letting it Go.

- Started drafting notes for my podcast with Andy

- I spoke to the BJJ Coach today - he says to pop down to the club tomorrow and see him to sign up. Making steady progress on this and looking forward to getting back into things. I'm now committed to it financially, so got no excuse.

That's it for today's update

Gonna have a break tonight as it's been a really long week. I'll wake up early again tomorrow and Get After It

Photos have been attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Slight Edge - read this article along with the book:
https://kyil-extra.com/slight-edge

@KillYourInnerLoser

Seen you talk a lot about The Slight Edge and how useful it is, I thought it was about time I bought it and started reading it myself!

I’ll definitely read the article alongside it when it comes to enhance my understanding and apply the techniques better in my life

Thanks mate

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 61: 11/12/2021

The Tinder Phone Jiu-Jitsu Commitment and New Scariant uncertainty

So the panic-porn-peddling media scaremongers are churning out fresh bullshit about this new variant 24/7 and are calling for Christmas to be cancelled and a new Lockdown

Meanwhile it has emerged that politicians were all having office Christmas parties last year whilst Christmas was effectively cancelled for the public

If we get another lockdown, Gyms will shut, no Jiu-Jitsu, no dating, mask Karens accusing me of killing granny etc.

Seems the government is determined to ruin my self-improvement plans. They can Fuck off if they think I’m complying

- Woke up at 04:30 today - I'm keeping this up even on weekends as my sleep pattern will be screwed otherwise if I have weekend lie-ins

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- Listened to another episode of Andy's Podcast: Day #63: Did Andy Get Laid at College/University?

Can totally relate to this. My University experience wasn't great either. Was dating a girl who didn't put out (stuck with her like a dumbass) and then the Lockdown came, and I didn't get laid for 18 months. Problem is that T.V Shows and American college culture permeates into the mindsets of young men over here and gives the these false expectations. Didn't even stay on Campus - did my studies then came home. Nobody really hung out and most students just played Xbox or had their own friend circles outside of the University. Wasn't exactly the 'amazing social experience and sexual adventure' I was promised - Best years of my life my ass!

And

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station. Good to start the day with a gradual wakeup and some deep thoughts. I miss being outside, but It's freezing in this weather

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- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. Yesterday's chapter was on anger and it's harmful affects. Interesting to see how anger can come in many forms and the root is usually pride and vanity - our pride gets checked and we get angry. The book mentions to see the things other people do that involve anger or ay make us angry as a gift - they are trying to tell us something e.g. to be more aware of their feelings. Also highlighted the dangers of repressed anger and how this can manifest itself over many years and lead to depression, anxiety and a general sense of inadequacy. May even be physical health consequences such as diseases. I have been more open to the holistic view when it comes to the health of the mind and the body over the years and I do believe that both are linked. I myself do think I have a lot of repressed anger. I got a bit pissed off at work yesterday, so I am going to actively try to Let Go of my anger before it causes me problems later on in life. I can already see how it's causing me problems now

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- Added a few more items to my Sexual Bucket List . Sorry folks, no offence, but I'm keeping this one private

- Started writing up content in preparation for the podcast I'm going to be doing with Andy soon. I'll get this sent over to him this weekend in a word document

- Went for a walk. Good to decompress and clear my head after a long week at work.

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- Went to see my Jiu-Jitsu coach today. Paid him the money up front for 2 months and signed up for the course that starts in January. This is something I'm really looking forward to getting back into and it will be a good start to the New Year. I'm committed financially too as I've actually paid the money - cash, in-person today

Found out more about the training too:

- 2 sessions a week teaching the foundation chokes and movements etc.
- I get a free Gi (Training Suit) included which is a nice bonus
- Get access to a Facebook support group - made an account for this especially with no photo (I'm wary of Social Media!)

Overall it's gonna be good to have something I can get into after work. Sick of just coming home after a crap day and not being able to blow off any steam

- Booked my car into a mechanic for an annual check - it ran out and haven't been able to drive it recently, so glad this has been done

- I've decided to go back on Tinder at some point, but have been having a complete nightmare with my old account I was using. I've found my old Nokia and I went and bought a cheap Sim Card today - this is gonna be the workaround to get a new account. Only cost me £1 for the Sim card too and saves dealing with Tinder customer support who are Fucking useless if anyone has tried dealing with them they will probably understand. Very trigger happy with the banning too if you're a man. I know Andy, myself and a couple other of the guys I have spoken to have experienced similar - you get banned for anything on there these days

Having Tinder on a backup phone will be a good benefit in itself too - save me spending loads of time endlessly swiping. It'll stay at home and not on my person. I will have 15/20 minutes on it a day just to swipe a little and message whilst I'm listening to a podcast or music so the time isn't completely unproductive. I'm planning to screen hard as well. I don't want a repeat of last time or the other times when things have gone bad!

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Might start getting active on Instagram again as well. Good to have a little 'social proof'. I'm gonna need to get premium, but it is what it is. If you're a guy, Tinder is pay to win and that's just the way things are

That's it for today's update

Gonna take a break now as it's the weekend and chill

Photos attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 62: 11/12/2021

MONTH 2 REVIEW

So I've just hit month 2 of my self-improvement journey. I'm amazed at how quickly it's gone. I feel like I have gotten a lot done after completing Month 1 which was the 'foundation stage' where I laid the base for my journey and started experimenting with a few things to figure out what worked for me

Once this was done, I set about building the habits. Some things I'm really happy about but there's also a few other things I am a bit pissed off with myself for not getting done, but I'm new to putting this much commitment into something and it's still a learning curve as well as there being time to improve. I am hopeful that this end of month review will give me the kick up the ass to work on what I didn't get done as I move along into month 3

What I've achieved:

- The habit of maintaining a tidy bedroom
- Kept up with my 365 Day Project
- Listened to a total of 63 of Andy's podcasts and watched a few of the YouTube videos
- Figured out what I want from dating
- Started a Sexual Bucket List
- Got politics out of my life
- Consistent 04:30 wake-ups
- Got a full-time job
- Started a dating guidebook for myself
- Bought 9 Manga books (T.V Substitute)
- Stopped biting my nails - hands look much better
- Re-joined Jiu Jitsu
- Stopped watching T.V
- Started reading consistently
- Improved my journaling efforts on this progress log
- Saved my first pay check - a start on the financial goals
- Podcast scheduled with Andy
- Still haven't had an alcoholic drink - I haven't for years though
- Stopped watching Porn
- Cancelled my YouTube and Apple Music subscriptions
- Built my 'Battle Station' - Definitely helping me reach my reading and podcast milestones!



What I should've achieved but didn't

- Still haven't started back at the Gym
- Still haven't started my diet
- No significant gains with No-Fap
- Still haven't cancelled my Amazon subscription



Pretty pissed off with myself as these are 4 big things I wanted to start work on or did start work on and failed. For the first time committing to something as much as this, I think I can cut myself a little bit of slack, but not too much

Massive Action is needed here. However, I won't say when I'm going to do any of these things.
I will instead post on here when I have done them

I think a big part of it may be the validation/dopamine hit I've been getting from saying 'I'm going to do this'. What I've achieved on my list above were mostly things I didn't say I was going to do - I just did them and then posted after

- Woke up at 04:30

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- Had coffee and contemplation at my Battle Station

And

- Listened to Episode #64 of Andy's Podcast - Day 64: Do you NEED to Make Girls Orgasm?

It was good to listen to this episode as I have in the past been someone who has beaten themselves up about not being able to make girls orgasm. Took me a while to realise that this just puts pressure on everyone involved and kills the mood - especially if it is just the first time. I've only ever made 2 girls come the first time we saw each other and I fully believe that stressing about this often leads to girls not wanting to see you again. They want a good time not a stressful and pressured night. I like the honesty aspect of sitting down and having a conversation about it

I bought the Doxy Magic Wand a while back upon Andy's recommendation and I've had very positive feedback on the few occasions I've used it. One girl even told me she'd bought one herself so she 'doesn't need to see me any more!' Hilarious!

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- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. Yesterday's chapter I read was on Pride. When I stopped and thought about it, Pride is a huge obstacle to getting what we want in life and being happy. Pride has killed people. I saw a case a while back where someone felt their pride was insulted whilst they were out drinking on the town. Outside one of the bars, a fight ensued as he thought somebody 'looked at him the wrong way' - one of the punches thrown in the ensuing scrap ended up being fatal. If that person who felt that that way had let go of their pride, they'd still be alive. The booze probably didn't help, but our true emotions and feelings surface when we're drunk

A big reason why I quit drinking was because of stupid shit like this I saw all the time.

I had personal experience of this when I got my ego checked when I was first starting out on my self-improvement journey. I felt that my pride had been attacked, which made me angry and I lashed out and went into denial. This was a result of me being fearful I'd been made to look stupid and that something was wrong with me/I was making bad dating decisions which lead to all my bad experiences with dating/sex and somebody was exposing that. After realising I was being a Fucking idiot, I saw the error of my ways. I am now going to actively try to swallow my pride. It'll help me brush off insults and be happier overall I think

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- Finished up my Podcast questions/notes for Andy. I have now sent these over to him in advance of our scheduled podcast

- Put a few more things on my Sexual Bucket List I'm gonna take a break from this now and think on it a while before I add any more to it

- I may start taking a photo of my clock at night when I go to bed. Although I'm getting up earlier, I think I need to hold myself accountable with what time I'm going to bed also. I'm going to aim to be in bed by 21:00 Hrs tonight and the photo can be posted tomorrow for accountability purposes

- Finally fixed Tinder. Tinder support? FUCKING USELESS. Fixed it myself and I'm gonna get back on it soon

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That's it for today's update

Photos have been attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[colgate]

Massive Action is needed here. However, I won't say when I'm going to do any of these things.
I will instead post on here when I have done them

This is a really good idea. I noticed that the correlation between me saying I'll do something and me actually doing it is pretty weak. On the other hand, if I just do it, it's more satisfying to log about and I have an incentive to do it.