New members - you MUST post in here before anywhere else.

[Slay]

Hello everyone
I, Josh, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

Discovered GLL about this time last year which was an absolute godsend. Accomplished my number one goal back in February which was to move into my own apartment. Now, on to better things.

Long Term Goals:
52 girls in one year
100 + girls lifetime
7 girls/7 days

[Lithium]

Hey everyone,

I, Lithium, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

I'm 24, live in Germany and in March 2020 my life got completely changed in every single way:

• After 4 years of hardcore video game addiction I stopped completely. In those 4 years, I had gained 30kg of fat and lost any hunger for life as well as any semblance of personality.

• My fiancée cheated on me and dumped me for an alcoholic deadbeat dad patient of hers who hits her. This was my first relationship and the girl I considered the love of my life. We were together for 6 years and this broke everything in me.

• I moved out of our apartment and back to my parents. This coincided with the 'Rona lockdown.

• Despite feeling like horseshit, I said to myself I won't let this be the end of me and decided to get my shit together. I was still alive and I would find a way to be happy.

I found this site in June through some posts of Andy on TRP. I can say that I do not fully share the negativity Andy has towards that subreddit, but I do agree that 90% of the content there is horseshit and just unproductive hate. I was familiar with TRP before my breakup and right after my breakup I searched through a lot of old posts and found some gems that really helped me survive.

Progress so far and goals:

• Weight loss/fitness: My weight in March was 105 kg, which was beyond obese for my 174 cm height. I have stretch marks all over my body, especially around the belly, chests and my arms and might end up having loose skin. As of July I am at 85 kg today, and my goal is to get to 65 kg. So far weight loss with CICO, lifting and eating enough proteins has been going well.

• Mental health: After the breakup I was super depressed. I haven't got into detail and I won't, but it was a nasty affair and the girl did some very hurtful and evil things to me, while I didn't retaliate. I also struggled with a lot of thought chains in the direction of "If only I had done this/that" etc., which I know to be true, but they are useless and make me unhappy nonetheless. In July, I do not feel depressed all the time anymore, to be honest I am even enjoying life a lot by now. I still think of my ex everyday in some form or the other even though I cut all contact. I don't think there is much else I can do though, I think the rest of the healing is up to time. Today that one book that Andy recommended just arrived, I am excited to give it a read. (You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought)

• Hobbies: I needed to replace gaming in some way, so I tried out a few different things and decided to stick with three hobbies: Playing Ukulele (Creative), Coding games (Mental), and Muay Thai (Physical). I enjoy all three of them a lot, plan my time during the week in detail to make all of them fit in.

• Improving looks: For my entire life, I've been somewhere in the spectrum between skinnyfat and morbidly obese. This is me at my leanest, 70 kg and even then I used to have belly fat and small titties. So the main thing here is going to be keeping up the weight loss until those are gone. Style wise, I have been clueless for my entire life, I don't even think I've ever owned a piece of clothing that fits perfectly (bigger sizes to hide fat). Once I am close to my goal weight I will want to completely revamp my wardrobe and I will need help for that. Right now it isn't worth it, because I wont fit into the same clothes in 5 months. 5 months ago, I was a guy who was completely against tattoos, by now I actually think they are cool and think I want to get one. I have some things in mind that mean a lot to me. But before tattoos, I first want to reach a weight goal first.

• Getting laid: Oof. My confidence was at zero in March. My ex was my second notch when I was 17 and since then I've been out of the game for six years. In June I got laid through Tinder, but I wasn't really attracted to her and I don't think I want to do that again (I tried out the Shibari from Andy's first BDSM post, it was fun, but that fucking girl was fatter than me lmao). Yes, I want to get laid, but with how I look right now, I simply don't have much confidence and cannot pull any girl that I'd actually want to fuck. Also I'm still living at my parents place, which makes logistics super messy. By the 1st September I want to move out, currently I cannot afford to live alone, so I will live with roommates. If I can keep up the pace of weight loss, I will weigh 75kg by the end of September, which is the upper border of healthy BMI for the first time since 2016. That is when I want to put a focus on taking good pictures, figuring out a style for myself and approaching. Right now I look humungous on any picture I take, no matter what. Until the end of 2020 I want to have 3 lays that I actually find attractive.

• Money: This is the category where I still got a lot of figuring out to do. I've failed University twice. Once after two years in Economics due to excessive drinking and once after two years in Computer Sciences due to addictive gaming. I am currently doing an apprenticeship in Computer Sciences, where you earn ~1k Euros a month, and once I am done with that by February I'd earn 2.2k Euros a month. But that is at a big company and I do not know if I want to do that for the rest of my life, hell I do not even know if I can. I'd much rather do something in a small company or completely on my own. When I look back at my past failures I know why they happened and have the tools and the wisdom to stop them from happening again. For this category I need to sit down and find out what I actually want to do.

• Social: I am extroverted and have natural charisma and humour and can easily make new friends. All this was buried for 4 years under the gaming addiction, but it came back to me quite fast after I stopped gaming. Before the breakup I effectively had no real friends except my fiancée, no one else to have deep conversations with. After the breakup, I contacted some old friends again, and as soon as the lockdown measures of the 'Rona got a bit less strict I've been getting around a lot in Germany. Visiting friends, travelling and hiking, making new friends etc.. I am very happy with my progress in this category.

Whew, that was a lot, but there is a lot going on in my life right now. I will make progress in every single category for the foreseeable future and will probably keep you guys updated.

[chado]

@Lithium Welcome to the forums man. Reading your post you've been through a lot of shit, but just know that we all have our stories and we have your back. I can tell through your writing that you're a likable, intelligent guy.

As you've said, biggest thing for you right now is losing weight, but also to find mental stability. Just know that your old self will continue to rear it's ugly head for some time. Feelings for your ex will be something that will also take a long time to completely heal.

I would suggest starting a daily log on here to hold yourself accountable. Make a small post everyday, incremental gains.

Also, you should know that once you lose the weight you're going to be a very good looking dude. You have a nice face shape, great smile and teeth. Just keep on track!

[KillYourInnerLoser]

the negativity Andy has towards that subreddit

I have a love-hate relationship with TRP. I love TRP because it saved me from misery, and was the catalyst for a lot of my changes. And I dislike TRP because there's a lot of negativity - I've talked a bit about it here. And lately TRP/reddit in general has been pretty fucked-up towards me (which is kind of what you expect when you start sharing content and being vulnerable). You haven't been the target of hate - called a rapist, told the girls you bang are 4's at best, told you deserved to be in the abusive relationships you were in, etc (yeah, the TRP/seduction subreddits have thrown all of that at me). It's much different when it's directed AT you - there's a weird natural human response where you feel like you're being directly "attacked" when a bunch of people criticize you. Doubly-so when their intention is to actually hurt you.

I plan on writing an article "My Love-Hate Relationship with TRP" at some point. I love TRP as much as I hate it. TRP saved my life, but jesus christ, they've also been absolute evil cunts at times.

Welcome to the forums though! Sounds like you're already massively successful - 20kg is fucking insane, man. I lost 35kg in total, so I know how insane 20kg is.

Coding - you'll find there's a bunch of hobbiest and professional coders here (including myself - a hobbiest).

I recommend making girls the main priority, and then handle career second. I talk a bit about goals in my "the slight edge" article:
https://kyil-extra.com/slight-edge/

-Andy

[AGF]

Also, you should know that once you lose the weight you're going to be a very good looking dude. You have a nice face shape, great smile and teeth. Just keep on track!

I totally agree. Lots of potential there lookswise and he does seem to be a smart guy. @Lithium if you just keep going after your goals, you life will completely change in the next year. But I think you already realized that. Going from 105kg to 85kg is already quite an accomplishment.

[SIGMA_1234]

@Lithium

Hey man, just wanted to quickly drop by and say welcome! I'm also a young guy like you who is facing similar to what you're going through.

After 4 years of hardcore video game addiction I stopped completely. In those 4 years, I had gained 30kg of fat and lost any hunger for life as well as any semblance of personality.

Similar, used to game heavily but significantly dropped my playtime now. Who knew gaming can be a bitch.

After the breakup I was super depressed.

Ngl I also stopped 6 months after breaking up with my ex. Didn't expect to be depressed for quite a while back then, too. We're similar in our weight loss and getting laid goals. Frustratingly, I am also skinny fat; it just doesn't show in my profile pic. But like they said, I can also see you'll look fine once you start losing body fat

I'd like to see you make progress in your goals, and let's crush our goals together!

[skankhunt42]

Hi guys, 35 y/o newbie here from Australia. Short story is I was married for around 10 years, supported my wife to reach her goals (finishing uni, big wedding, buy a house etc) and now that she has a sweet job and I left my job to study at uni I'm suddenly not good enough for her (familiar story right). I know now its totally my own fault for not picking the right woman and spending my life putting others needs before my own.

So I've been single for a few months now, living in my own apartment close to uni. As you can imagine, the dating world is completely alien to me compared to how it was when I met my ex-wife (you had to actually go out and get plastered enough for the Dutch courage to work its magic xD ) I've been focusing on bettering myself for the last few months (don't plan to stop), studying hard, hitting the gym 6 days a week, being consistent with my diet etc and reaching out to friends to increase my social circle. I've managed to shred a fair bit of fat from the "dad bod" that I had acquired, and starting to tone up a fair bit. Getting more stylish clothes (skinny denim, bomber jackets etc, white sneakers or brown chukka boots is my kinda style).

Played with Tinder very briefly, got discouraged by the lack of interest I got on there and deleted it after a couple of days (I know now that my profile just really really sucked).
I found the link to the tinder guide via the red pill reddit and basically said "HALLELUJAH" while I was reading it word for word because it was exactly the kind of help that I need right now.

Anyway, my obvious goals are to work on own life goals, study hard, increase my social circle and of course get laid a tonne so that I feel like some kind of human being.

oh yeah

"I, skankhunt42, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously." (hope you guys appreciate south park haha)

Apologies for the crappy selfie avatar, I will fix it at some point.

[Lithium]

Thanks for the warm welcome guys.

As you've said, biggest thing for you right now is losing weight, but also to find mental stability. Just know that your old self will continue to rear it's ugly head for some time. Feelings for your ex will be something that will also take a long time to completely heal.

I would suggest starting a daily log on here to hold yourself accountable. Make a small post everyday, incremental gains.

Yeah, my old me has shown its face again and again, but so far I have been able to deal with it pretty well. Meditation and therapy helps I guess. I've actually written a diary since March, but I might just do that daily log on top of that. Sounds good.

You haven't been the target of hate - called a rapist, told the girls you bang are 4's at best, told you deserved to be in the abusive relationships you were in, etc (yeah, the TRP/seduction subreddits have thrown all of that at me).

Holy fuck that is disgusting.

I'd like to see you make progress in your goals, and let's crush our goals together!

Hell yes, let's do that!

Also it's kinda reassuring to hear that I have the potential to look good. Usually (without pics) you read online that Indian guys can't do shit. But I've never been discouraged by that. Reality never looked particularly blackpill to me.

[SIGMA_1234]

Usually (without pics) you read online that Indian guys can't do shit.

Whoever said that can kiss my ass. Don't let that get to you because I have huge respect for Indians. They're very techy, and their tech tutorials have helped me pass my certain engineering subjects with flying colors. Not to mention, you guys are, like, a billion in your home country, and Indians are actually flagged as one of the biggest migrants (at least in the US and Canada). That means there's brutal competition for such spots like local Indian unis, green cards, and international student placements specifically for Indians. AFAIK, if you made it as a migrant/ got to a top university in India, you're cream of the crop already.

Not to mention, I have seen really good looking Indian guys, too. Again, welcome.

[benstrong26]

Hi guys, 35 y/o newbie here from Australia. Short story is I was married for around 10 years, supported my wife to reach her goals (finishing uni, big wedding, buy a house etc) and now that she has a sweet job and I left my job to study at uni I'm suddenly not good enough for her (familiar story right). I know now its totally my own fault for not picking the right woman and spending my life putting others needs before my own.

From divorced guy to divorced guy, let’s kick some ass. Having your life upended can be a blessing in disguise as I’m finding out.

[chado]

Psyched to see all these new guys joining. This place is going to be a haven for us kicking it to the next level

[skankhunt42]

From divorced guy to divorced guy, let’s kick some ass. Having your life upended can be a blessing in disguise as I’m finding out.

Thanks brother. I know what you mean, at first I was devastated and thought my life was over. Now I realise that us men only get better with age as long as we keep working on ourselves. One day our wives will regret their decision, but we'll be way too successful to even care.

[Redtater]

Hi everyone. My name's Phil, I'm a 27 year old from Canada.

I found this forum from TRP and really like the energy - its positive and proactive. First forum account I've made since I was like 14. Looking forward to getting to know the community.

Got laid off from out of town camp work due to corona, and just ended a year long dead end relationship. I'm tired of the way things are. I've done this often, falling in with girls that are just there rather than being proactive and taking initiative to find women that are exciting. I need to take my sex life more seriously.

My main goal for the remainder of 2020 is to get laid; aiming for 6 more by the end of the year.

Additionally I have been looking for a gym that will accept me and once I do I intend to work towards a 2 plate bench and a body weight of 200 lbs (185 currently).

I, Phil, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

[coconutwater]

Hello all

I, coconutwater, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

[chado]

Hi everyone. My name's Phil, I'm a 27 year old from Canada.

I found this forum from TRP and really like the energy - its positive and proactive. First forum account I've made since I was like 14. Looking forward to getting to know the community.

Got laid off from out of town camp work due to corona, and just ended a year long dead end relationship. I'm tired of the way things are. I've done this often, falling in with girls that are just there rather than being proactive and taking initiative to find women that are exciting. I need to take my sex life more seriously.

My main goal for the remainder of 2020 is to get laid; aiming for 6 more by the end of the year.

Additionally I have been looking for a gym that will accept me and once I do I intend to work towards a 2 plate bench and a body weight of 200 lbs (185 currently).

I, Phil, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

Welcome to the party bro. You have a good base, let's get to work