How do you deal with flaking?

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Lema
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Mon Dec 06, 2021 7:19 pm

What do you guys think is the best approach when a girl you met online and got their instagram flakes on you but you still want to bang her?
For context, this Saturday two girls who seemed quite interested flaked on me. One was a standard date at a bar and the other was supposed to come straight to my place( she even engaged me early on Saturday asking me where I lived and when she should come). In the end both gave those standard bs excuses saying "sorry" and "forgive me", to wich I didn't reply, cuz I tried playing cool in the past, saying along the lines of "no problem, lets try again tomorrow or when are you free again?" and I don't think it works, plus it makes me feel like I have zero self respect.

Thoughts?
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Kurvam
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Mon Dec 06, 2021 7:45 pm

Focus on other girls and don't spend any more energy on girls who flake on you. You don't have to block them or something but accept that the lead is most likely dead. if they do reach out for a meet up later on (unlikely) then its a bonus. If you really want to you could send them a ping in a few weeks time but I reckon your time is better spent focusing on new leads.
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MILFandCookies
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Mon Dec 06, 2021 9:29 pm

Lema wrote:
Mon Dec 06, 2021 7:19 pm
What do you guys think is the best approach when a girl you met online and got their instagram flakes on you but you still want to bang her?
For context, this Saturday two girls who seemed quite interested flaked on me. One was a standard date at a bar and the other was supposed to come straight to my place( she even engaged me early on Saturday asking me where I lived and when she should come). In the end both gave those standard bs excuses saying "sorry" and "forgive me", to wich I didn't reply, cuz I tried playing cool in the past, saying along the lines of "no problem, lets try again tomorrow or when are you free again?" and I don't think it works, plus it makes me feel like I have zero self respect.

Thoughts?
Imagine you're buying a used car from a guy, meeting up at the mechanic to get it checked out.

He flakes. Sells it to someone else.

Is he worth your attention?

You want to meet these girls so you can meet and so you can fuck. Maybe form a connection too. If you're not meeting and you're not fucking and you're not forming a connection, is she worth your time and focus?

What is she to you now? A texting buddy who isn't giving you time. Do you want a texting buddy who isn't giving you time?

I get the pull... I've been there countless times. So, so so many times. Chasing after girls who've shown me they're not available - but who are saying that they are, promising etc.

You've gotta ignore the words... what are her actions showing you?

These girls are not available. Cut your losses and move onto the girls who are. If you can't control yourself from reaching out (I've been there too many times it's embarrassing I know) then block them and delete their contacts.

We're here for you man. No judgement. Been there.
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Lema
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Sun Dec 12, 2021 5:32 pm

So, these two girls who flaked on me and I left on read after "blablabla I'm sorry" liked a pic I posted on my IG yesterday. I'm just starting to use IG more, and it's my understanding that if a girl likes your pics, they want to be approached/reaproached in this case.

That said, is my understanding right? If so, should I reaproach them, and if so, how should I go about it? TY
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Lema
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Mon Dec 13, 2021 3:53 am

KillYourInnerLoser wrote:
Sun Dec 12, 2021 9:04 pm
it's my understanding that if a girl likes your pics, they want to be approached/reaproached in this case.
No. It means she clicked "like" your pic. That's it. Maybe she's interested in you, maybe she's bored, maybe you are just one of 500 posts she clicked "like" on that day.
Lema wrote:
Sun Dec 12, 2021 5:32 pm
If so, should I reaproach them
Why are you asking our permission? We're not your father. Either do it or don't, but you're not going to get far in self-improvement if you need to ask other people's permission for every little thing you do. Be ok with experimenting, making mistakes, trying things. Read these:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/this-is- ... xperiment/

https://killyourinnerloser.com/give-you ... n-to-suck/

You're a man; men don't need to ask permission for every little thing they try.
I'm not seeking for permission though, just wanna hear their ideas on this subject, cuz I would still like to bang them of course, just not sure if "pinging" them is worth the trouble( I've tried both reaproaching and leaving it be before, still unsure which is best). In the end, just wanted to hear some thoughts and other's experiences, trying to "optimize" my outcomes, I guess.
Thanks for articles, read them in the past but did it again, good stuff really.

"No. It means she clicked "like" your pic. That's it. Maybe she's interested in you, maybe she's bored, maybe you are just one of 500 posts she clicked "like" on that day."
This does make a lot of sense, didn't think about that. Ty
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