Is it advisable/socially calibrated to invite a girl near your place if she lives really far?

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D4vidDG
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Tue Sep 13, 2022 12:34 am

I matched with a girl on Bumble and she agreed to drink a coffee. However, she lives really far from my location. Almost 12 kilometers.

Would it be advisable to ask her to come near my place on the first date?

Sometimes I do this and the girls stops responding. And after that, if she responds again, her investment is lower than before.
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Drama
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Tue Sep 13, 2022 12:42 am

Could be that you live in a location that isn't central to anything, so she gets in her mind that you just want to fuck.

If you don't live in a central area, go on a first date somewhere in between and second date invite them for dinner at yours (ideally) or a drink near your place.
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ytlord
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Tue Sep 13, 2022 1:25 am

I used to have this dilemma because I live out in the suburbs. I eventually figured out that most of the girls who wouldn’t meet me close to my place weren’t DTF. I get less dates by only inviting girls to places close to me but my pull rate has gone way up. I may lose some girls, but in reality I get very few second dates. To be clear, I usually retain girls after fucking them, but most girls who I end up fucking it happens off of a first date pull or not at all.

TLDR it’s a screening tool. Like all screening tools, it’s usefulness depends on whether you’re trying to maximize dates / lays or maximize the efficiency of those dates. Screening out girls who aren’t DTF at the cost of screening out a smaller number of girls who are means you get less total opportunities but you likely spend less time per lay, at least that’s my philosophy.
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seanconneryfan_
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Tue Sep 13, 2022 1:33 am

Fundamentally flawed question and I'll explain why. Social calibration is an individual process that you must undergo by field testing the theoretical concepts you learn about on the internet and asking yourself what goal you want to achieve with complete honesty. My game will not work for the next person and theirs for me. This goes for everyone reading this: stop asking people on the internet to make decisions for you. Go out, fuck up, reflect, and calibrate. That's the process.

When you deal with girls, there are two mindsets you can have: abundance or scarcity. I'll break down what actual abundance is and not the youtube filler word that people trout out to hit your dopamine receptors. Actual abundance has little to do with the number of girls you're sleeping with.

Abundance is a three step definition:
1) liking yourself
2) knowing you have value to offer
3) knowing there is ALWAYS someone out there who will value you and you can connect with

Operating from that basis, your question turns into what you are willing to do to get laid. If you like the girl, sure, drive halfway and have a good date. Having a fun date usually has a high chance of seeing the girl again and maybe hopefully doing something hot with her like destroying her cervix.

What you shouldn't do is make decisions out of fear AKA scarcity, which is exactly what you're doing by trying to read her mind and figure out why a girl on OLD flakes on you (hahahaha, better off solving world hunger).

I'll end by sharing what I do. Disclaimer here: you are an absolute idiot if you blindly do exactly what I do after everything else I wrote in this post. When I was in my ho-phase, I made girls come to me. It's another form of screening because if she puts up resistance towards it, then I'm not going to give her my time when I know another girl would come to me. 99% of the time, girls who are genuinely interested are not going to stop responding because of the location you pick; at the very least, they'll say they want to meet somewhere else.
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Manganiello
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Tue Sep 13, 2022 4:28 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Tue Sep 13, 2022 1:51 am
Would it be advisable to ask her to come near my place on the first date?
Yes. In fact I'm struggling to think of a time where this wouldn't be advisable.
D4vidDG wrote:
Tue Sep 13, 2022 12:34 am
Sometimes I do this and the girls stops responding.
No matter what you do. This happens.

If you're not in a good location you need to move ASAP. Good logistics are fundamental.


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Next time out questions like these in your main log.

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