I'm totally blind, how do I look?

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Manly Cockfellow
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Wed Sep 21, 2022 12:15 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 3:57 am
cactohelado wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 2:02 am
Do you think any of these models might work? (I tried on the Bose Frames a while back, pictured above).
Of those, I think the Fauna audio glasses look best. Second place goes to either the the Razer Anzu or the Bose Tenor.

In any case, I think you should buy one pair of normal fashionable-glasses that you would wear for photoshoots only. The technology on the smart glasses necessarily makes them look worse.

I agree with Pancake's advice.

Fauna, Razer Anzu, Bose Tenor all look better than the ones in your picture, but not as good as some regular Ray-Bans, Wayfarers or aviators would.


And I'll second the advice that an edgier haircut and adding some upper body strength and size will dramatically improve your looks.
cactohelado
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Wed Sep 21, 2022 5:00 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 1:18 pm
Also, selfishly, because I have many questions about how the world of dating (or even technology use like this forum) might be navigated while blind!
As for dating, a few random thoughts:
  • At least for me (and the other blind people I've talked to), a lot of our attraction is voice based. I'm really into girls with giggly, higher-pitched, sort of shy sounding voices and submissive personalities.
  • On that note, the voice prompt feature on Hinge is a game changer! They should make it mandatory, just as photos are, and other apps should roll it out. Really helps level the playing field.
  • I met two girls from Tinder just before the pandemic. The first one's voice wasn't really my thing, but she seemed into me so I agreed to meet. I met her in a cafe on-campus and she seemed... in another world, disconnected, almost as if she was captivated by something on her phone rather than engaging with me. She had an odd fixation on the number of people she'd got with. The "out-of-sync" feelings continued into sex. It felt like she was performing, optimizing for a visual experience that just wasn't going to do anything for me. I felt a bit more connected with the second, though she was very amused by my wanting to "look" at her, "have a look" at something and such. I think she could've been alright but I suspect that the world being upended really broke her and we lost touch.
  • My other experience has been with blind girls that I've met through various global online friend networks. Maybe because they're older (late 30s/early 40s) or because they inherently aren't visual, those experiences were more immediately fulfilling. But the blind community is small, incestuous, and has its own share of issues, so I don't want to limit myself to just blind or just sighted girls.
  • Dating apps are, as you can probably imagine, pretty hard for us. Then again, I'm always open to try (hence my posts here) as I think they could be another avenue to meet sighted girls. If a voice is our equivalent of a picture (and, at least last time I tried, lots of girls didn't have bios filled in), our best strategy seems to be indiscriminate right-swiping and/or paying to see who likes us and screening from there.
Jamgoth wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 2:10 am
Out of curiosity, if you are blind, how are you on the internet?
I use a screen reader on my computer and phone.
Jamgoth wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 2:10 am
Who took the pictures?
Acquiring pictures is hard: for this post (and my previous profiles), I mined social media for photos taken by friends, family, my mother, etc. When I lived at home, I'd ask maybe once a year for help taking a new profile photo for social and professional media. Now that I'm on my own, I suppose I should look into hiring a photographer (and take photos explicitly more dating-focused instead of just looking around for whatever I can find)?
Last edited by cactohelado on Wed Sep 21, 2022 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
cactohelado
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Wed Sep 21, 2022 5:08 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 1:18 pm
Taking actions to make yourself look more masculine and older, such as lifting weights, would be a big help.

Your haircut contributes to your boyishness. Find a decent men's hairstylist and ask them for a contemporary attractive haircut.
Manly Cockfellow wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 12:15 pm
And I'll second the advice that an edgier haircut and adding some upper body strength and size will dramatically improve your looks.
Duly noted, thanks! As for the haircut, should I explicitly mention to the barber that people have commented on my looking young and I'd like a less boyish style?

Also, now that I've graduated, moved to a new city, the pandemic is ending and all that, do you think it's worth trying the dating apps again with some of the photos I've posted here? (It's been well over three months since my last attempt). Or should I simply not bother until I've made good faith progress in implementing some of the advice here?
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pancakemouse
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Wed Sep 21, 2022 8:30 pm

cactohelado wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 5:08 pm
Duly noted, thanks! As for the haircut, should I explicitly mention to the barber that people have commented on my looking young and I'd like a less boyish style?

Also, now that I've graduated, moved to a new city, the pandemic is ending and all that, do you think it's worth trying the dating apps again with some of the photos I've posted here? (It's been well over three months since my last attempt). Or should I simply not bother until I've made good faith progress in implementing some of the advice here?
The haircut is a tough problem to solve for sure. Generally I recommend to people that that mine social media for attractive guys around their age who seem to get attention from women and might look like them. But that's out of your capacity. That's why I think having some intermediary, like a male or female friend, to help you with this, would be extremely helpful.

Barring that, go to the best salon possible, you should be paying $40-60. Tell them you want something attractive and contemporary that fits your face shape.

I would not recommend starting on the apps until you've made at least a bit of progress, you are unlikely to get any meaningful results.

But there is a ton of tactical progress you can make starting TODAY. Sunglasses. Haircut. Weightlifting. Style.

There's so many other things that would help as well. For example: Alex from the Tinder YouTube channel Playing With Fire is partially blind and has a guide dog. I've met him at a bar in Miami and he was able to bring his dog in. The dog helped him get TONS of attention from women.
cactohelado
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Wed Sep 21, 2022 9:18 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 8:30 pm
That's why I think having some intermediary, like a male or female friend, to help you with this, would be extremely helpful.
I'm going to have to give that one some thought. Maybe should get a few opinions.
pancakemouse wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 8:30 pm
Barring that, go to the best salon possible, you should be paying $40-60.
Yep, that seems the going rate around here (high cost-of-living US city).
pancakemouse wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 8:30 pm
I would not recommend starting on the apps until you've made at least a bit of progress, you are unlikely to get any meaningful results.
Makes a lot of sense, and thanks for giving me a roadmap! I'll aim to provide an update (and updated photos) within a few months.
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Manly Cockfellow
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Wed Sep 21, 2022 10:25 pm

cactohelado wrote:
Wed Sep 21, 2022 9:18 pm
As for the haircut, should I explicitly mention to the barber that people have commented on my looking young and I'd like a less boyish style?

Also, now that I've graduated, moved to a new city, the pandemic is ending and all that, do you think it's worth trying the dating apps again with some of the photos I've posted here? (It's been well over three months since my last attempt). Or should I simply not bother until I've made good faith progress in implementing some of the advice here?
I can't tell you what to do, because none of us will know for sure what's going to work for you till you try it, but if you're willing to experiment with a few different hairstyles and with lots of different pictures and profiles, all while continuing to get stronger and dress better, and most importantly all while asking for what you want from the women you are attracted to, then you will dramatically increase your chances of getting what you want.
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Bman
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Thu Sep 22, 2022 1:02 am

From your responses to advice so far you seem like you have a level head and are willing to put in the work to make improvements.

Follow @pancakemouse 's advice. He's a veteran and knows what he's talking about.

Rooting for you. Its going to be great to watch your progress. Keep us updated.
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