What is an above-average level of matches / replies for dating apps?

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Sonofagun
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm

I've had Tinder, Hinge or Bumble for many years. Throughout that time the match rate has fluctuated up and down, but I've nearly always had a dreadful return. The reply rate is also abysmal, particularly in 2023. Here is an (estimation) of the stats.

- I'd estimate I get 1 match for every 80 swipes or so. Sometimes it can be 100+. It's the same on each app.
- I can deal with a low match rate, but the reply rate is also very low. I'd estimate 85% of the girls leave me on read either on the opener or within 1-2 messages. The vast majority ghost when I make the date request.
- The quality is usually OK, match-wise, with a few bonafide hot girls thrown in, but as soon as the girl is a 7 or above, the difficulty suddenly jumps 3,000%, and their likelihood of ghosting rises very high.

Here is a pretty typical result for me, from this week on Bumble in Europe (I get a flurry of matches, a few replies and then get ghosted in the first week with a new account):
IMG_1199.png
IMG_1200.png
I had 150 girls in my queue on day 1. I filtered that down to less than 30 (most were ugly).
From these remaining girls I've secured 0 dates. That's pretty typical for me. I think my texting is acceptable - it's the profile that's the issue (I would guess).

I'd love to know from those guys who are doing very well, how often do you match girls? do you get a very high reply rate? Do you need to offer a 'date', or do you just invite them straight over? Etc. It would be good to understand what is a 'good' result.

I did have a couple of OK years on online dating (20 lays a year level) but the quality was really hit and miss. I'd bang a 7 one week and a 5 the next, not because I wanted to bang a 5, but that would be the only girl who would reply that week, and she'd make it easy for me so I couldn't resist. Overall, it's always felt HARD. Hard to get girls to reply, hard to get them on dates, hard to get the quality I want consistently.

I get told by male friends that my SMV is 'above average', but it's hard to believe with my results. Happy to share my profile with anyone who wants it. I feel my results are not reflective of a guy with above-average SMV. I am still not happy with my facial appearance and believe it is the root cause of my struggles, since I'm tall, with good hairline, in acceptable shape (not fat), very good fashion, but I'm hoping I'm wrong and that my profile is the issue.

This year I was going to focus exclusively on daygame, but I can't help but feel like there's potential on the apps still. I want to give them one last crack before I give up on them entirely.

Thanks in advance.
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pancakemouse
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:51 pm

Pretty consistently for me across the years with Tinder:

In a week:
<fresh hard reset>
20-40 matches
10-20 reply to opener
2-4 numbers
0-2 dates

Hinge is better in terms of girls being receptive to messages. Never gotten much with Bumble.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm
- I'd estimate I get 1 match for every 80 swipes or so. Sometimes it can be 100+. It's the same on each app.
- I can deal with a low match rate
That's not a low match rate, not for Tinder at least. It's insanely high. The average guy is getting one match per 1-2000 swipes.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm
the reply rate is also very low. I'd estimate 85% of the girls leave me on read either on the opener or within 1-2 messages. The vast majority ghost when I make the date request.
- The quality is usually OK, match-wise, with a few bonafide hot girls thrown in, but as soon as the girl is a 7 or above, the difficulty suddenly jumps 3,000%, and their likelihood of ghosting rises very high.

Here is a pretty typical result for me, from this week on Bumble in Europe (I get a flurry of matches, a few replies and then get ghosted in the first week with a new account):

IMG_1199.png
IMG_1200.png
"hi trouble" or "what you up to mischief" are burned openers due to Playing With Fire and similar sites. What's funny is one girl is literally telling you this "I don't know why people always call me trouble". Delete those sorts of openers from your corpus immediately.

Even apart from that, your texting doesn't look particularly good from over here. Can you post 5-10 examples of conversations?
kratjeuh
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:06 pm

You would have to show your profile in order for us to determine about the SMV + information if you do any editing or not.

On Bumble I also get around 100 likes on day 1 and then it starts slowing down to 5 a day, 4, ... sometimes 0 then 2 again. For comparison, I'm facewise completely average and body wise above average but I do modify my pics a bit with Faceapp. Also, my profile needs some work in terms of lifestyle so if you show off a cooler lifestyle, you'll get more matches despite SMV.

Stop with this bullshit of hey trouble, you would never say that to a girl IRL so don't say it online. If you are handsome (this doesn't mean strong profile) you can open with the stuff some guys do here: Hey I'm x, you're sexy.
If you have a strong profile aka getting matches due to lifestyle, I'd stick to the advice of finding something cool in her profile and opening like that.

As Pancake mentioned, we'll need some screenshots of your convos to see what is going wrong or if you just been getting unlucky.
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Squilliam
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:06 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:51 pm
Hinge is better in terms of girls being receptive to messages. Never gotten much with Bumble.
I'm not a super successful guy OP, but I would agree with this statement. Girls on Hinge tend to be more receptive. Bumble is almost useless for me these days. In my experience, Tinder has a lot more timewasters.

I think Hinge tends to attract less timewasters because you have to put more effort into your profile to join, they require 6 photos and the prompts.

That being said, the Hinge algorithm has been kinda fucked for me recently, and I've barely been shown any palatable girls to even swipe on.
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Sonofagun
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:42 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:51 pm
Pretty consistently for me across the years with Tinder:

In a week:
<fresh hard reset>
20-40 matches
10-20 reply to opener
2-4 numbers
0-2 dates

Hinge is better in terms of girls being receptive to messages. Never gotten much with Bumble.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm
- I'd estimate I get 1 match for every 80 swipes or so. Sometimes it can be 100+. It's the same on each app.
- I can deal with a low match rate
That's not a low match rate, not for Tinder at least. It's insanely high. The average guy is getting one match per 1-2000 swipes.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm
the reply rate is also very low. I'd estimate 85% of the girls leave me on read either on the opener or within 1-2 messages. The vast majority ghost when I make the date request.
- The quality is usually OK, match-wise, with a few bonafide hot girls thrown in, but as soon as the girl is a 7 or above, the difficulty suddenly jumps 3,000%, and their likelihood of ghosting rises very high.

Here is a pretty typical result for me, from this week on Bumble in Europe (I get a flurry of matches, a few replies and then get ghosted in the first week with a new account):

IMG_1199.png
IMG_1200.png
"hi trouble" or "what you up to mischief" are burned openers due to Playing With Fire and similar sites. What's funny is one girl is literally telling you this "I don't know why people always call me trouble". Delete those sorts of openers from your corpus immediately.

Even apart from that, your texting doesn't look particularly good from over here. Can you post 5-10 examples of conversations?
Thanks PM, very helpful. I probably massively overestimated my match rate on tinder, it's probably more like 1 in 400 for girls 7+. I've never crunched the data but it's not good.

'Hey trouble' I agree is rather cliche but it got me plenty of lays over the past 2 years... if a girl likes your pics enough she'll reply (would be my thinking). I may drop it though, good point.

You've seen my profile already since the misc so you know what I'm working with. Your stats look good there, I'd be thrilled with half the girls I match to reply - never had anywhere close to that.
Squilliam wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:06 pm
pancakemouse wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:51 pm
Hinge is better in terms of girls being receptive to messages. Never gotten much with Bumble.
Agreed with this. I'm not a super successful guy OP, but I would agree with this statement. Girls on Hinge tend to be more receptive. Bumble is almost useless for me these days. In my experience, Tinder has a lot more timewasters.

I think Hinge tends to attract less timewasters because you have to put more effort into your profile to join, they require 6 photos and the prompts.
Hinge is a graveyard for me. I get maybe 10 matches after a week and 7/10 of them leave me on read. Total waste of time. Even if I buy premium. I also get shown ugly girls in 99% of the cardstack. Occasionally I'll get a weird 'glitch' in the system like this girl (hot girl who replies or even opens me). But it's 1 in 1,000 chance.
IMG_0923.png
IMG_0925.png
I usually do best on Bumble, but again that's pretty awful. I think the problem is my pics.
kratjeuh wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:06 pm
You would have to show your profile in order for us to determine about the SMV + information if you do any editing or not.

On Bumble I also get around 100 likes on day 1 and then it starts slowing down to 5 a day, 4, ... sometimes 0 then 2 again. For comparison, I'm facewise completely average and body wise above average but I do modify my pics a bit with Faceapp. Also, my profile needs some work in terms of lifestyle so if you show off a cooler lifestyle, you'll get more matches despite SMV.

Stop with this bullshit of hey trouble, you would never say that to a girl IRL so don't say it online. If you are handsome (this doesn't mean strong profile) you can open with the stuff some guys do here: Hey I'm x, you're sexy.
If you have a strong profile aka getting matches due to lifestyle, I'd stick to the advice of finding something cool in her profile and opening like that.

As Pancake mentioned, we'll need some screenshots of your convos to see what is going wrong or if you just been getting unlucky.
Sure, here is my profile (pics in order of how they appear on app):

https://postimg.cc/gallery/3DYnB2B

I should mention that 1 girl I met did say my face looked 'squashed' in the third pic (light beige top) and that nearly put her off meeting me. This is because I have a short upper jaw, which I think really holds me back in dating. Unfortunately correcting it is a massive procedure (double jaw surgery).

In terms of my texting, it's fine. I have some dogshit conversations, some good ones, like anyone, but it's better than most guys (I know because I've created fake female profiles before and seen my female friends' profiles). I would highly doubt the issue is my texting. The issue is my profile (or my face, I don't know which). Here's an example though:

https://postimg.cc/gallery/RqJdV5w
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Last edited by Sonofagun on Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Squilliam
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:45 pm

Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:42 pm
Hinge is a graveyard for me. I get maybe 10 matches after a week and 7/10 of them leave me on read. Total waste of time. Even if I buy premium. I also get shown ugly girls in 99% of the cardstack. Occasionally I'll get a weird 'glitch' in the system like this girl (hot girl who replies or even opens me). But it's 1 in 1,000 chance.
You're from Europe, right? As far as I know, Hinge is not very popular outside of the US. That's probably a big factor.

Also, check this out:
https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2021 ... not-alone/
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/

- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~350/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
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september
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:10 pm

It's 100% not your face

Your photos can be improved but they're also well above average
(not that improving them wouldn't lead to massive gains)

However

You might be the first person I've seen who texts more abrasively and intellectually than I used to... and I've come off as a huge asshole before, it's likely even the reason why I was first banned from Tinder.

Hopefully that's just an outlier since the girl wasn't responding and you wanted to try something... but it feels like overall you're a touch too bitter and serious in your texting

Anyway, you normally want to have a good vibe, be unreactive, and non-needy. Some things to point out:

- "that there's no one cooler than me". Tbh a decent spammable low effort answer, but ideally for emotional impact what you say has something to do with the girl, or best yet both of you together (the order is "you and I > you > I > something else"). Also, if you're going to self inflate it pretty much always has to be funny or exaggerated or something. Otherwise you risk coming off as tryhard and insecure
- "Wow that is really intriguing thanks for sharing 🤔" comes off as mildly butthurt. Keep a good vibe even when you're insulting her, and ideally do it by framing her as something that she wants to defend against. Something like "aw it's ok if you're shy 😏" (to an obviously non-shy girl), or "left you stunned in silence huh 😉"
- her mentioning the age gap is a shit test that you... sorta succeeded at by trying to flip the pressure onto her preferences, but IMO you made the tone WAY too serious and combative from then on. Tons of ways to respond but I think it's best to try to have a good vibe and be nonreactive. "sounds like you're a DILF hunter since you swiped on me" or "you're right, I'm a little too dangerous for you 😏" or "aw trying so hard to seem uninterested"
- she's still battling you for nonreactiveness when you suddenly drop a massive ass compliance hoop of agreeing to a date and time on her. At the least get her number before trying to specifically arrange logistics, and try to hint towards taking her out before then, and probe compliance throughout by seeding the meetup into your "battle" texts
- in general... the girl actually has better game than you lmao - she's not defensive and triggers you far easier than you do her. In a social battle, the less reactive one is higher status... and girls don't fuck lower status guys.

With all that said you seem experienced in game so I assume most of this isn't really new to you. But maybe you haven't been aware of how your overall vibe and reactiveness comes across

---

oh some more

- "I'm still willing to give you a shot" comes off SUPER needy in the context of her constantly failing your compliance tests. she's ignored you three times until then and has still been combative the whole time. and you're still "willing to give her a shot"? not even putting any conditions on it like "if you behave" or "if you dress real cute"? you need to wait until SHE DOES SOMETHING FOR YOU before you start rewarding her. Keep fighting until either she submits to you being higher status and asks a non combative question or statement, or you offer an olive branch by asking her a non combative question and she responds to it. Or hail mary it by breaking the frame and going "ok, I think we're getting too heated here. let's start over. What are you up to"
- I can't see the exact times but it looks like the date rolls over a couple times between her response and yours. In 2023 online dating you have to ignore the traditional advice about being non-needy and taking hours to reply - girls are too distracted, you have to just reply ASAP and ride the emotions into a date as quickly as possible, even if it means losing a bit of non-neediness from it

---

by the way I just wanna empathize from personal experience with two things:
- it's easy to get a shitty vibe and be really combative when we're failing to get the results we want on dating apps
- hot girls ARE 3000% harder. because they're less willing to "trust" that your smv is what it appears like in pictures... so they test you for longer periods of time, by being more combative, setting the date farther out and expecting you to lead by texting and staying non reactive and non needy the whole time, etc. It's just the nature of the game. All you can do is either get better at game, or raise your smv, which is the much better option as it means less effort spent on any one girl (game) as opposed to all girls at once (smv)
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Sonofagun
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:44 pm

september wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:10 pm
It's 100% not your face

Your photos can be improved but they're also well above average
(not that improving them wouldn't lead to massive gains)

However

You might be the first person I've seen who texts more abrasively and intellectually than I used to... and I've come off as a huge asshole before, it's likely even the reason why I was first banned from Tinder.

Hopefully that's just an outlier since the girl wasn't responding and you wanted to try something... but it feels like overall you're a touch too bitter and serious in your texting

Anyway, you normally want to have a good vibe, be unreactive, and non-needy. Some things to point out:

- "that there's no one cooler than me". Tbh a decent spammable low effort answer, but ideally for emotional impact what you say has something to do with the girl, or best yet both of you together (the order is "you and I > you > I > something else"). Also, if you're going to self inflate it pretty much always has to be funny or exaggerated or something. Otherwise you risk coming off as tryhard and insecure
- "Wow that is really intriguing thanks for sharing 🤔" comes off as mildly butthurt. Keep a good vibe even when you're insulting her, and ideally do it by framing her as something that she wants to defend against. Something like "aw it's ok if you're shy 😏" (to an obviously non-shy girl), or "left you stunned in silence huh 😉"
- her mentioning the age gap is a shit test that you... sorta succeeded at by trying to flip the pressure onto her preferences, but IMO you made the tone WAY too serious and combative from then on. Tons of ways to respond but I think it's best to try to have a good vibe and be nonreactive. "sounds like you're a DILF hunter since you swiped on me" or "you're right, I'm a little too dangerous for you 😏" or "aw trying so hard to seem uninterested"
- she's still battling you for nonreactiveness when you suddenly drop a massive ass compliance hoop of agreeing to a date and time on her. At the least get her number before trying to specifically arrange logistics, and try to hint towards taking her out before then, and probe compliance throughout by seeding the meetup into your "battle" texts
- in general... the girl actually has better game than you lmao - she's not defensive and triggers you far easier than you do her. In a social battle, the less reactive one is higher status... and girls don't fuck lower status guys.

With all that said you seem experienced in game so I assume most of this isn't really new to you. But maybe you haven't been aware of how your overall vibe and reactiveness comes across

---

oh some more

- "I'm still willing to give you a shot" comes off SUPER needy in the context of her constantly failing your compliance tests. she's ignored you three times until then and has still been combative the whole time. and you're still "willing to give her a shot"? not even putting any conditions on it like "if you behave" or "if you dress real cute"? you need to wait until SHE DOES SOMETHING FOR YOU before you start rewarding her. Keep fighting until either she submits to you being higher status and asks a non combative question or statement, or you offer an olive branch by asking her a non combative question and she responds to it. Or hail mary it by breaking the frame and going "ok, I think we're getting too heated here. let's start over. What are you up to"
- I can't see the exact times but it looks like the date rolls over a couple times between her response and yours. In 2023 online dating you have to ignore the traditional advice about being non-needy and taking hours to reply - girls are too distracted, you have to just reply ASAP and ride the emotions into a date as quickly as possible, even if it means losing a bit of non-neediness from it

---

by the way I just wanna empathize from personal experience with two things:
- it's easy to get a shitty vibe and be really combative when we're failing to get the results we want on dating apps
- hot girls ARE 3000% harder. because they're less willing to "trust" that your smv is what it appears like in pictures... so they test you for longer periods of time, by being more combative, setting the date farther out and expecting you to lead by texting and staying non reactive and non needy the whole time, etc. It's just the nature of the game. All you can do is either get better at game, or raise your smv, which is the much better option as it means less effort spent on any one girl (game) as opposed to all girls at once (smv)
Good points, all makes sense.

However this is the reason I was reluctant to post a convo and did so against my better judgement, because my conversations vary wildly depending on the girl's archetype, her opener to me etc. I could show you 100 conversations that have a totally different tone to this. This girl was well educated, and in Ireland (where I'm from) girls give a lot of banter and talk back to guys, thus I knew she'd be able to take it. She age-shamed me right out the gate, so it was fair game, imho. If I was talking to some FOB girl from Eastern Europe I'd be much more delicate and make the teasing very light.

Some are too far the other way. It all depends what the girl gives me. This girl went to a good uni and had a brain, so I could tell she'd understand sarcasm and banter - she's probably quite savage in her humour. European girls especially where I'm from (Ireland) are often quite abrasive themselves - you might not realise this.

I've had 80+ lays from apps, most coming in the last 4 years, including girls coming straight over, etc, so I do know what I'm doing to a certain extent, it's just very inconsistent. I felt I should clarify that. I've made the thread because I don't know what results are 'normal'.
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Sonofagun
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:47 pm

Squilliam wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:45 pm
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:42 pm
Hinge is a graveyard for me. I get maybe 10 matches after a week and 7/10 of them leave me on read. Total waste of time. Even if I buy premium. I also get shown ugly girls in 99% of the cardstack. Occasionally I'll get a weird 'glitch' in the system like this girl (hot girl who replies or even opens me). But it's 1 in 1,000 chance.
You're from Europe, right? As far as I know, Hinge is not very popular outside of the US. That's probably a big factor.

Also, check this out:
https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2021 ... not-alone/
Nah, it's nothing to do with that. Hinge is plenty popular in Europe. All the dating apps are.
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pancakemouse
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 2:49 am

Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:42 pm
In terms of my texting, it's fine. I have some dogshit conversations, some good ones, like anyone, but it's better than most guys (I know because I've created fake female profiles before and seen my female friends' profiles). I would highly doubt the issue is my texting. The issue is my profile (or my face, I don't know which). Here's an example though:

https://postimg.cc/gallery/RqJdV5w
The only way your texting is "fine" is compared to normie Chads with terrible text game. That doesn't make it good enough for the type of girls you're going for. I've seen the difference in results between fine texting and great texting, and it's substantial. Your goal should be top 1%, not merely above average.

I'd still like to see at least five more examples of conversations, but so far, from this one, and the screenshots in the original post, my instinct is that there is a lot to improve.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:44 pm
I've had 80+ lays from apps, most coming in the last 4 years, including girls coming straight over, etc, so I do know what I'm doing to a certain extent, it's just very inconsistent. I felt I should clarify that. I've made the thread because I don't know what results are 'normal'.
It's possible to get 80 lays from apps with text game that is subpar. So we're not saying you don't know what you're doing, rather that the bottleneck between where you're at and where you want to be is your texting, not your profile/face. Having a face that gets 30 matches and failing to convert any of them to a date is not normal, and the only thing that could possibly make up that gap is texting, so you really have to look more closely at your texting here.
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:06 am

Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm
I've had Tinder, Hinge or Bumble for many years. Throughout that time the match rate has fluctuated up and down, but I've nearly always had a dreadful return. The reply rate is also abysmal, particularly in 2023. Here is an (estimation) of the stats.

- I'd estimate I get 1 match for every 80 swipes or so. Sometimes it can be 100+. It's the same on each app.
- I can deal with a low match rate, but the reply rate is also very low. I'd estimate 85% of the girls leave me on read either on the opener or within 1-2 messages. The vast majority ghost when I make the date request.
- The quality is usually OK, match-wise, with a few bonafide hot girls thrown in, but as soon as the girl is a 7 or above, the difficulty suddenly jumps 3,000%, and their likelihood of ghosting rises very high.

Here is a pretty typical result for me, from this week on Bumble in Europe (I get a flurry of matches, a few replies and then get ghosted in the first week with a new account):

IMG_1199.png
IMG_1200.png

I had 150 girls in my queue on day 1. I filtered that down to less than 30 (most were ugly).
From these remaining girls I've secured 0 dates. That's pretty typical for me. I think my texting is acceptable - it's the profile that's the issue (I would guess).

I'd love to know from those guys who are doing very well, how often do you match girls? do you get a very high reply rate? Do you need to offer a 'date', or do you just invite them straight over? Etc. It would be good to understand what is a 'good' result.
The ghosting is very common even guys with top profiles get that all be it they have more options overall of course. My results on the apps (only use tinder really):

. Around 2-5 matches per 100 swipes using tinder platinum
. I tend to swipe most days 50-100 girls unless i'm really busy and just forget so always have girls to message whenever i'm looking for new dates
. My reply rate to opener is 40-50%, i open with just hey name
. I small talk for 3-4 messages, basics like where they're from, what they like to do for fun etc then propose the meet up, usually 'we should hang out this week' then find out their schedule
. I don't really do dates, I screen hard so its a short walk then back to my place or they come straight over

- i don't know what is considered doing very well but i'm pretty satisfied with the volume of girls and quality has been decent most of the time, however this is also due to location. The girls are very attractive in the city i'm in on average. Last few years it was over 40 girls per year. I have not been to Ireland but i'm from the UK and the quality of girls is way lower to where i am now, so maybe this is also a factor for you in terms of the lack of consistent high quality. I don't think i would achieve the same results in my home country and the quality would take a dip for sure. Its just supply and demand.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm

I did have a couple of OK years on online dating (20 lays a year level) but the quality was really hit and miss. I'd bang a 7 one week and a 5 the next, not because I wanted to bang a 5, but that would be the only girl who would reply that week, and she'd make it easy for me so I couldn't resist. Overall, it's always felt HARD. Hard to get girls to reply, hard to get them on dates, hard to get the quality I want consistently.
20 girls a year is pretty dam good man, that's almost 2 new girls every month but sure i get you feel you could be doing better.
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Sonofagun
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:00 am

Kurvam wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:06 am
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm
I've had Tinder, Hinge or Bumble for many years. Throughout that time the match rate has fluctuated up and down, but I've nearly always had a dreadful return. The reply rate is also abysmal, particularly in 2023. Here is an (estimation) of the stats.

- I'd estimate I get 1 match for every 80 swipes or so. Sometimes it can be 100+. It's the same on each app.
- I can deal with a low match rate, but the reply rate is also very low. I'd estimate 85% of the girls leave me on read either on the opener or within 1-2 messages. The vast majority ghost when I make the date request.
- The quality is usually OK, match-wise, with a few bonafide hot girls thrown in, but as soon as the girl is a 7 or above, the difficulty suddenly jumps 3,000%, and their likelihood of ghosting rises very high.

Here is a pretty typical result for me, from this week on Bumble in Europe (I get a flurry of matches, a few replies and then get ghosted in the first week with a new account):

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I had 150 girls in my queue on day 1. I filtered that down to less than 30 (most were ugly).
From these remaining girls I've secured 0 dates. That's pretty typical for me. I think my texting is acceptable - it's the profile that's the issue (I would guess).

I'd love to know from those guys who are doing very well, how often do you match girls? do you get a very high reply rate? Do you need to offer a 'date', or do you just invite them straight over? Etc. It would be good to understand what is a 'good' result.
The ghosting is very common even guys with top profiles get that all be it they have more options overall of course. My results on the apps (only use tinder really):

. Around 2-5 matches per 100 swipes using tinder platinum
. I tend to swipe most days 50-100 girls unless i'm really busy and just forget so always have girls to message whenever i'm looking for new dates
. My reply rate to opener is 40-50%, i open with just hey name
. I small talk for 3-4 messages, basics like where they're from, what they like to do for fun etc then propose the meet up, usually 'we should hang out this week' then find out their schedule
. I don't really do dates, I screen hard so its a short walk then back to my place or they come straight over

- i don't know what is considered doing very well but i'm pretty satisfied with the volume of girls and quality has been decent most of the time, however this is also due to location. The girls are very attractive in the city i'm in on average. Last few years it was over 40 girls per year. I have not been to Ireland but i'm from the UK and the quality of girls is way lower to where i am now, so maybe this is also a factor for you in terms of the lack of consistent high quality. I don't think i would achieve the same results in my home country and the quality would take a dip for sure. Its just supply and demand.
Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:31 pm

I did have a couple of OK years on online dating (20 lays a year level) but the quality was really hit and miss. I'd bang a 7 one week and a 5 the next, not because I wanted to bang a 5, but that would be the only girl who would reply that week, and she'd make it easy for me so I couldn't resist. Overall, it's always felt HARD. Hard to get girls to reply, hard to get them on dates, hard to get the quality I want consistently.
20 girls a year is pretty dam good man, that's almost 2 new girls every month but sure i get you feel you could be doing better.
That's great man. I feel like if I said 'Hey *name', I'd get left on read most of the time. Also the standard 'how are you' / 'where are you from' etc always got me ghosted too... in my city it just doesn't seem to cut it

Maybe I'm trying too hard to be 'gamey' though and should simplify it. I'm willing to try anything
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pancakemouse
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:20 pm

Sonofagun wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:00 am
Maybe I'm trying too hard to be 'gamey' though and should simplify it. I'm willing to try anything
Simplifying it won't work. The reason it works for him is that he lives in Poland.
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Crisis_Overcomer
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Wed Feb 01, 2023 4:33 pm

Sonofagun wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:44 pm
I've made the thread because I don't know what results are 'normal'.
There is no "normal" man. A different location will yield different results. A guy living in Peru or in LA will have different results than you who live in Ireland.

Heck, you will even have different results if you move elsewhere.

I follow a guy who recently started boasting about his dating successes. He had like 4 dates in 4 days. What he seems to ignore is that he's a white, tall, fit bearded guy who moved to Bali- OF COURSE he'll kill it there. Teleport the same guy into some of the British slumps that tormented @Radical, @Thebastard, and @MakingAComeback and he'll either go monk mode or resort to hookers.

You seem to adjust your texting based on the girl. So if you doubt there's anything you can improve on this arena, that's cool.

What you should do next is improve your photos/style/looks. In one of the private groups, we saw the app photos of a male 8.5. This ranking comes from one of the legit forum guys. Your photos make you look like a 6-6.5. Go through Andy's guide and add the missing pictures. Also edit some of them.

If you want better results, realize there are probably no low-hanging fruits like improving texting. You gotta spend money, energy, and time to get better photos.

I also used to have consistent results with the apps. But then something changed and I got crickets. I swallowed my pride, paid for pics, got a decent profile, and had 5 lays in 2-3 weeks. This shit works but you can't grow complacent if things stop working.

I'm locking this since I doubt there's anything productive left to say.
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