Matt actually created a tinder profile

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MILFandCookies
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:14 pm

Hey! I'm proud of you for taking the leap! You've come a long way.

I have critiques for you, but I want the gist of this to be super positive! You've just started, and it's huge considering where you've been in the past.

Just keep trying and you'll get closer and closer. Almost all non-dating-profile photographers are going to get photos that are too posed and don't tell a story. That's my criticism here. I'd either buckle up for the long haul and learn to take photos yourself, or hire a dating profile photographer like me ;)

Keep it up.
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:30 pm

MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:16 pm
Ah i see... Hmm. My female friends also told me that I need at least some more casual pics, as the posed pics look a bit too "catfishy" and even AI generated xD
Yup. Exactly.
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:16 pm
They told me that its good that my first pic is a bit more "bad boy", which also Andy recommended.
It is good. You're on the right track, just need a little practice to look natural.
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:16 pm
Are these pics good enough for now though to get a like or two?
Use them for now, but continually upgrade them until you get an amount of matches you're happy with. That's the dating app game ;)
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:50 pm

MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:40 pm
@MILFandCookies also, would this work?

Or is the pose a bit too awkward?

It's a yearish old photo where I was doing a boyband project
I'd have to see it cropped into a portrait orientation, how it would look on Tinder, without the blocks censored.

It looks like you're squnting hard here - a common issue when it's very sunny out. Still could be a good photo for now until you take better ones to replace it with. I'd have to see the final crop to give you my opinion.
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:09 pm

MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:00 pm
Something like this
I'd crop out the guy on the left, and crop in the guy on the right a bit more - that way nobody is cut off.

You stand out because you're in the center, plus you're the tallest.

I still don't like how intensely you're squinting in the photo, but it's a good photo for now until you upgrade it.
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Tue Apr 04, 2023 4:47 am

MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:19 pm
How long does it usually take to get likes on tinder
depending on what time of day you start, for me it’s been between right away and 48 hours later
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Tue Apr 04, 2023 6:31 am

sorry in advance if any of what I'm about to say is egregiously ignoring established issues/roadblocks that were communicated somewhere in your log.

wait actually no I'm not sorry because if you have those you need to put them in your signature or somewhere easily readable cus I aint putting in all that effort to go through peoples logs just to post
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:19 pm
In my profile I make it clear that Im looking for experience and casual stuff
this will either do nothing, or decimate your matches, or something in between. depending on the exact specifics of how you worded it - this is where some of the most painful footguns hit despite good intentions

anyway I'm basically saying I suggest removing this. your position on this spectrum:

- alpha chad that I fuck on the first date, pretending to be totalllyyyy into casual, when I actually just want to lock him down and this is my only means of getting his attention
- (rare category in modern dating) billy beta boyfriend who needs to overinvest by a factor of 10 for me to dole out sex tokens in exchange for good behaviour
- unfuckable incel disgusting human being who should not be allowed out on the streets unless its to fix my toilet

is determined entirely by your photos and overall vibe and not by you saying you want a relationship/casual/etc. really, being explicit about what you're looking for will instead:

- filter in more autistic, forebrained, and older girls
- filter out more emotional, casual, younger girls

which is overall very not worth it

anyway thats all theory theory theory ok whats the next thing I can quote reply
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 6:39 pm
This is my level ONE, since for YEARS I was avoiding tinder and online dating like plague (I couldnt get any likes and still dont, but at least Im ready to tackle it again)
ok just gonna say it explicitly rn since no one else has - you will have swings in your results in online dating, you will have low points, you will be tempted to complain

I'm pre emptively banning you from the following type of complaint: ITS MY GENETIC LOOKS / UNCHANGEABLE FACTORS

because

(get ready for the validation!!!!!)

you're attractive and have no major inherent failos.

that's half the battle!

the other half is curing autism, low value, getting better photos, fixing your archetype and incongruency, fixing low hanging fruit in texting and shit. the whole, self improvement thing basically. which has unbounded results really so it's not even half the battle more like 99% if you go far enough

(btw I dont read your log much, I'm just auto-assuming you can improve the above because p much everyone on the forums does)

keep in mind you'll still totally get results without doing any of the above, because being good looking will be enough for some girls

but as you start wanting more these are what you have to focus on as ways to improve later on because they're the actual limiting factors that you'll want to clear out as you grow
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:16 pm
Ah i see... Hmm. My female friends also told me that I need at least some more casual pics, as the posed pics look a bit too "catfishy" and even AI generated xD

They told me that its good that my first pic is a bit more "bad boy", which also Andy recommended.
you 99% already know this but literally just ignore whatever women say about your dating profile

(don't ignore how they ACT on it, ie the swipes you get. but do ignore what random women SAY especially when they're your friends and thus not the ones swiping on you, especially when they're your FRIENDS so have to make themselves look like good girls who only go for billy betas, especially when they're YOUR friends so they also want you to feel good and not have to change because you're perfect the way you are ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️)
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:16 pm
Are these pics good enough for now though to get a like or two?
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:16 pm
(even with boosts I dont seem to get any likes, as is pretty common I think)
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:35 pm
Right now my goal is to get one like. Actually, scrap that. Let's start with 5. I want to know if it works now
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:19 pm
Another question: How long does it usually take to get likes on tinder?
hold on, one small question.

are you trying to get laid?

getting laid from online dating usually looks like this:

1. create profile
2. swipe on women
3. text women
4. go on dates with women
5. try to fuck the women
6. repeat 2-5 and improve your profile the whole time to get better results

did you even do any swiping?

why do you keep mentioning waiting for likes? is the end goal to get likes? I thought this forum was for getting laid.

(ok I'm going to interrupt drill sergeant mode for a second, as an unsocialized khhv until 2 years ago, I actually totally sympathize with wanting validation from women and likes are obviously a signal of such and will make you feel good - but they're a very noisy and ultimately dissatisfying signal and most importantly will detract from you getting actual results in the real world, which is what you actually want and is good for you. ok back to drill sergeant mode)

basically the only dude on the forums who can get laid by going through likes instead of swiping on chicks is @arcade_fireee. And that's for Hinge not Tinder, for all I know you need to be an actual celeb to go likes-only on Tinder. And he's only doing it this way because he literally doesn't have time to swipe - his results would still be way better if he did

apps are literally just a tool to get laid. it's all fake. the likes and matches and conversations are all meaningless. the point is to meet up with girls and fuck them. obviously girls liking and matching and texting you all do correlate to being attractive but if you wanna be seen as attractive then actually fucking girls will be way better for you on every level than sitting around waiting for likes to roll in

the whole concepts of "are my pics good enough", "is my profile good enough", etc., are all meaningless on their own. they only matter for getting laid. and the best way to measure if they are in fact good enough for getting laid is by trying to get laid

why would anyone ever tell you if your pics are good enough to get laid, if you aren't even taking the most basic steps to get laid, which is swiping? and if you actually were swiping - then why would anyone need to tell you? you'd know if you were getting laid.

really when people ask if their pics are enough, the steelman version of what they're communicating is

"are my pics the lowest hanging fruit to improve, or is it the amount of volume I'm putting in, or the texting, or how I act on dates, or my location, " etc

so heres what you need to do

1. commit to getting laid
2. visualize the end result of getting laid, and the steps it takes to get there, noting that you will face overwhelming rejection at every point in the funnel
3. execute the steps

realistically though whats happening if you aren't swiping is you're afraid of rejection / finding out that you aren't gonna get as much stuff for free as you assumed you would. basically that you have to put in work. which yeah it sucks and I've had to go through it a lot. and all I can say is it's way better to go through it earlier than later
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Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:51 pm

Ok as I feared you actually have been taking action and swiping and simply didn't mention it and talked about likes instead of matches for whatever reason
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Tue Apr 04, 2023 7:07 am
Is there also a specific ratio you should swipe right VS left? Something that determines how the algorithm behaves?
the algorithm overall doesnt matter, your elo (profile attractiveness) does. swipe right on all the women you'd fuck, that's all you need to do
MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:06 pm
Another issue I ran into is that I run out of swipes (as in people around me)

- My radius is set to 100km
- I got a like from a profile with no picture.
- My friends who are not ultra attractive get some likes, so could it be an algorithmic thing? Should one try for like a week and after that, reset my account possibly?
- Does it have something to do with the first pic I have? Should it be more casual?
- Is it good that I also have added my band(s) social media accounts?
logistics is #1 in game. how big is your city and 100km surrounding radius?

consider the three variables of population, swiping, and profile attractiveness. the only way for you to be getting 0 matches is one of those being substandard. so given that you're swiping all the way to the end, and your profile has the photos you've shown on here, you should be getting more than 0 likes... unless the population sucks.

in which case you have to move

though

I'd say one issue is that adding your band's social media might actually be marking your profile as spam in which case you get put in the spammer bucket where your inbound and outbound likes are only visible to others in the bucket

(I'm hypothesizing this to be the case from how social media generally works)

so heres some steps you can take

1. remove links to your band's social media. btw, it probably wasn't helping at all, no one will ever click on that stuff until well after they got enough interest with you to match you
2. download and max out your swipes on hinge and bumble, which I think your archetype would perform better on

every day max out the swipes for all three dating apps
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Tue Apr 04, 2023 3:02 pm

yeah your biggest problem is logistics then. 500k people is almost the bare minimum if you were to be living in the middle of it, let alone if you're outside the radius of most people in it. plus who knows what the demographics are like, there's a huge difference between a college vs retirement town for dating prospects

likes always << matches

the best thing you can do for online dating success is moving.

I vaguely remember you had success with getting attention in social circles and parties. Is that still a viable path for you?
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Mon May 01, 2023 10:14 am

MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Tue Apr 04, 2023 7:07 am
Is there also a specific ratio you should swipe right VS left? Something that determines how the algorithm behaves?
Don't think about any of that. Just pick the girls that you like.

Anyways, I think you definitely got the looks. Like easily. You just seem to lack the confidence. Give yourself permission to suck. Nothing bad will happen. The girls don't reject you. They are at most rejecting your dating profile. It's nothing personal. You'll get used to it.

It looks like you're fixated on getting likes. Just forget about all that. You should not value yourself based on that. You should love yourself and be happy about yourself regardless of that. You seem to be a cool guy. Doing cool stuff. Jazz band and all. I think that is fucking awesome. You're a skilled and interesting person and you should focus mainly on that. Whether the girls like that on the shallow dating app doesn't matter and doesn't devalue your achievements.

I promise that if you go on a professional photoshoot and get around 3 decent pics where you're just chillin out, looking cool and wearing a nice suit you'll be drowning in matches. Btw that long hair thing you have going on. Girls LOVE it.
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Tue May 09, 2023 5:38 pm

MattsCrib wrote: ↑
Mon May 01, 2023 3:44 pm
hyrtsmyrts wrote: ↑
Mon May 01, 2023 10:14 am


Don't think about any of that. Just pick the girls that you like.

Anyways, I think you definitely got the looks. Like easily. You just seem to lack the confidence. Give yourself permission to suck. Nothing bad will happen. The girls don't reject you. They are at most rejecting your dating profile. It's nothing personal. You'll get used to it.

It looks like you're fixated on getting likes. Just forget about all that. You should not value yourself based on that. You should love yourself and be happy about yourself regardless of that. You seem to be a cool guy. Doing cool stuff. Jazz band and all. I think that is fucking awesome. You're a skilled and interesting person and you should focus mainly on that. Whether the girls like that on the shallow dating app doesn't matter and doesn't devalue your achievements.

I promise that if you go on a professional photoshoot and get around 3 decent pics where you're just chillin out, looking cool and wearing a nice suit you'll be drowning in matches. Btw that long hair thing you have going on. Girls LOVE it.
Hey!

Thanks.

I agree. Right now I'm also focusing on gigs and stuff and I do get some likes now. I have big gigs coming up
That's excellent. Always have your main goals as your #1 focus. Imo the main goal never should be women/getting laid. Keep up the good vibes and good luck for the gigs!
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