Jay wrote: ↑Mon Aug 14, 2023 1:53 am
Hey bud, great initiative, but I think you have to ask yourself if you're really committed to being in your late 20's and still trying for the metal/goth/emo thing? I think there's deeper issues here and its reflecting in the photos and your results.
You MAY attract women who are into metal/goth guys, which honestly what women are? So you're narrowing down and niching out. Which is bad for a newbie - plus couldn't you find metal girls at a show? I DO NOT think they will be online in even marginal numbers.
Metal heads scream incel to me, and I think that's how they're perceived by mainstream society. Whether that's fair or not. That was a fad that died many years ago. A whole appearance make over may be in order and a potential for an adoption of a new personality if you truly embody emo/goth culture. No one likes a neurotic pessimist - which is generally what that music represents. Having music be your identity past your teenage years is a bad look. From a transactional analysis perceptive, it SCREAMS child state.
Shorten the hair and go to a LEGIT barber, get rid of the midwest emo clothes, get those armbands out of there, potentially grow some facial hair, start lifting, and start getting aerobic exercise. It's important to be authentic, but also consider why girls may not want to spend time with you when you are embodying a phase that is mostly for teenagers and introverted neurotics.
Apologies if this is harsh, but I'd encourage you to be a little more cognizant of how your demeanor affects women's perception of you. You may need to embrace your inner Chad, while still keeping a gothboi inside you. BUT you ain't lil peep, or the singer of Periphery. Be more like Chad and enjoy music for what it is, a small hobby not your identity.
You got this
You know you're probably right. My reasoning for the look was that, when I first came onto here, I got a photo review and people were like "you have no edge" so I took that advice to try to look as edgy as possible. Back then I looked like your stereotypical CS nerd. Women in my classes were calling me incel behind my back despite the fact that I hadnt said any incely things to them or even tried to hit on them in any way, and had made up a story of being in a previous relationship specifically so people wouldn't call me that. I was a virgin at the time (not anymore, I have gotten one relationship since). I became convinced I was so ugly women could tell I was a virgin. So I wanted to look as far away from what I did as humanly possible. Also there was a guy in my classes who also had an alt aesthetic who has no problems with women, so I wanted to emulate him. I wanted to go from stereotypical CS nerd to "guy you wouldn't want to bring home to mom" But youre right in that I probably went too far with it. After so many accessories, it stops looking like a bad boy/fuckboy and starts looking like you shop at hot topic, which I'm too old to pull off. Unless I'm at a metal concert, I'll probably only wear one necklace, one bracelet, get rid of the ripped jeans and pants chain. The remaining necklace, ring, and tattoos and piercing's are probably already enough to convey edge.
I am working out. I've put on 20 lbs in the past year while maintaining 15% bodyfat. It's still something I'm working on. I also have scoloisis which juts my belly out and makes me look like I have more belly fat than I actually do. I'm working with a chiropractor to work on this.
I also need to keep the hair kinda long because it hides how thin my hair is at the temples. I'm doing everything I can to reverse this (finisteride, minoxodile, rosemary oil, dermarollers, PRP injections). Once I regrow my hair I'll probably jsut get a fade since those are in style.
