2nd Dates

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Hemingway
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Sat Jan 09, 2021 4:09 am

Hey how do you guys usually set up the second date (if you didn't have sex on the first)? I invited her back to my apartment, she said no. Just wait a few days, do some small talk, and then ask her out for a drink again?
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l0vebone
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Sat Jan 09, 2021 7:44 am

do the same thing you did the first time?

in my experience though, if you dont smash on the first date, and she doesn't hit you up first for the second date, you will not be getting laid.
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Dewm
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Sat Jan 09, 2021 7:57 am

I don't have a ton of experience but the one i just hooked up with on our first date said "i'm just not ready to hookup yet." I followed it up with "ok, how about i cook you dinner for our second date?" This led to me coming over to her place, cooking and then us having sex. It's not perfect but it worked.

Woman I saw tonight I felt would have come back to my apartment had my roommates not been home, so i just politely set up a 2nd date to have dinner. Logistics to be coordinated later.

These experiences have helped me realize that as good as I have it now I need my own apartment with no roommates no matter how much it costs me.
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Brother_Tucker
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Sat Jan 09, 2021 11:14 am

So for me, I'm using second dates a lot since my logistics are not good (I'm waiting for my ex to move out, but thats a whole thing) anything thats going to happen has to happen at the girls place. Pitching their place first has come up with a too fast flag everytime, so I go for a walk and a chat to see if we will fit.

I normally pitch a movie night at her place for date 2. I just invite myself to hers and if the first date went well enough they say yes.

The point isn't to pressure for sex on the first date, the point is to express interest and willingness to have sex on the first date. If you do this, the second date pitch is a super clear intention.
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Hemingway
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Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:43 pm

Interesting ideas. I mean she's definitely down for a second date.
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Thebastard
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Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:38 pm

Blackdragon recommends not kissing on the first date so that she doesn't feel 'obligated' to have sex on the 2nd date (even if she wants to). I personally didn't notice any difference statistically.

If she says no then just agree to meet in a public place and try to bounce her back to yours. If she agrees even after initially rejecting the invite to your place then your chances are good. If not, then well, it raises the question as to whether she was going to fuck anyway.

I think a lot depends on how well the first date went. In my case, most of my lays are on date 1 with a very small % on date 2. Often momentum is lost, the longer time goes by between date 1 and 2 and she loses interest for a myriad of reasons, many unrelated to you. Of course, if you made a very good impression and blew away all the other guys in her life she knows then of course your chances are a lot higher.
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Excuses
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Sun Jan 10, 2021 2:08 am

Read this.

https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-g ... first-date

For me this looks like she's a timewaster. Waiting for sex is never worth it. I'd try one last time and meet her near your place or her place, have a short walk and then invite her to your place for drinks or yours to her place.

If she says no, say "We’ll hang at mine and go slow, and if at any point you feel it’s moving too fast, just say, “Can we slow down?” and we’ll slow it down. We’ll go at a pace we’re both cool with – it’s only fun if you’re having fun"
if she still says no then say the usual all cool, you got some things to do anyway and go home.
And then ask her a few days later for date 3 DIRECTLY at your place/her place. If she's not down to come to your place/her place, then just drop andys line:

Look, I’m really attracted to you and it’s not all that much fun pretending I don’t want something I really want. You don’t seem to want to move things forward and come back to my place, are you not feeling the chemistry or something? No hard feelings if so.

If she's hesistant, drop her.
I completely understand. Sex is definitely an important part of a relationship for me, so let’s end things here. It was really nice meeting you.

Read Andys guide. And meet other girls, she seems like a time waster anyway.
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