Dating App SOS help really needed...

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Salsasurgeon
Posts: 6 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 7:25 am
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 38

Wed Jan 20, 2021 10:19 am

Hey guys, I'm Omar from NYC, first off Happy New Year to you, hope you're safe and doing amazing. I'm a very busy Resident Surgeon and COVID frontline worker with a love for Comedy Clubs, Salsa Dancing, love my Giants, Knicks, WWE, and have a playful, silly side. I've accomplished so many things in my life, but for some strange reason, while I get some matches, they're usually from women I'm not really attracted to and I have friends that nothing really stands out on the surface, but they can attract some of those same women I'm targeting. My profile typically attracts women in their upper 30s, 40s, and yes, sometimes even 50s, and the occasional trannys (to each their own, but not my thing), that's had kids already and don't want anymore, and seem to have baggage that doesn't mesh with the vision of what I seek in a woman. I want to be capable of attracting women in their 20s and sure I can definitely improve on the caliber of women I attract in the 30s and up, but I'd much prefer the former, but I feel as though I'm being overlooked by the younger women, especially on these apps.

Here's the dropbox link to the profile / pics I've used and the profile screenshots are what I'm currently using:

https://www.dropbox.com/t/cpsgBX3EjjjYSGIO

I've worked with dating coaches & photographers and been misled and scammed by many over the years, as they seemed to be much more interested in taking my money and leaving me with a subpar profile and not truly being honest, or are clueless as to what would work best for me. I have some theories and ideas, but first I want to hear your perspective as I attached the current photos and profile I'm using on bumble / hinge / tinder and curious to hear your opinions as I'm very much determined to turn this around because its a New Year and despite the setbacks, and roadblocks, I've never given up, will continue fighting the good fight and determine to overcome this ongoing hurdle. Many thanks in advance for your help guys. There's some other pics, too many to grab from my Facebook, but I've included a link for you to peruse at your convenience:

So as you can see why I'm pretty frustrated, as I've tried it all, many professional photos and well and mediocre results, but I'm still not going to give up and optimistic and I'm all in. While I'm still learning, if I can be of any help, please hit me back anytime as I'd be more than happy to offer my perspective.

Cheers,

Omar
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l0vebone
Posts: 180 | Thanks: 65
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2020 2:16 am
Name: RJ
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Age: 24
Motto: fuck hos get money

Wed Jan 20, 2021 1:50 pm

Generally girls in their late teens and early 20's go for the hottest guys around their age who are straight douchebags or if they are boyfriend chasers, the hottest boyfriend they can find.

If you don't fit that category, the only thing that you can realistically do is improve your looks even more and hit the numbers game for the type of girl you are looking for as hard as possible. The numbers game always reins true.
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Duke
Posts: 40 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2020 10:29 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 31
Location: Socal

Wed Jan 20, 2021 7:35 pm

Welcome to the forum Omar.

With regards to the matter of some of your friends who are no better than you doing better with girls, it is probably a matter of them just playing the numbers game more than you. As @l0vebone mentioned, the more girls you talk to, the more you'll get laid. Fortunately you are in NYC which is probably the best city in the world for girls in terms of sheer numbers and ratios.

Also since I assume your friends are other doctors or lawyers and investment banker types, they may not be mentioning the other stuff they are doing to get these girls like taking them shopping, on fancy trips, giving them allowances, paying their rent, getting bottle service at the club, etc. The average looking guys I know who are successful or have money, all do some type of sugar daddy game to get younger hotter girls or even girlfriends.

Your accomplishments are impressive, especially being a resident surgeon at age 38. However you are coming to the same realization I did at age 28 that being successful does not really translate directly into getting laid with hot girls. In my twenties I was the first one of my peers to get a nice car, then a house, then an investment property, yet it only marginally improved my success with women. At best more cute girls just wanted me as a potential boyfriend or husband. We live in a time where being the hot bartender is infinitely more attractive to girls than being the stable and successful surgeon. Guys like me are impressed with your accomplishments but you can be sure that the average 19yo thot will not be.

If you feel like you are being overlooked by the 18-24yo girls, it is because those girls value sex appeal and social status above everything else. These girls have to think you're hot, or they have to think that being with you will elevate their social status either directly, as in you are the hot bartender at the cool bar, or indirectly, you pay half of her rent so she can live in a nicer apartment in the cool part of town. Hooking up with the okay looking successful guy does not accomplish any of those things for the thot.

The matches you do get are a reflection of your SMV. As you are now you could get an attractive woman in her thirties and certainly forties to serially date or for a relationship, but that doesn't sound like what you want. I'm guessing you want to be like Dr. Christian Troy from "Nip/Tuck," the good looking, rich, plastic surgeon who fucks lots of hot young girls in Miami. In which case you have work to do on your looks, game, and may need to shell out some money for stupid shit that girls value, like purses and cars, like a sugar daddy; even Dr. Christian Troy did some of this on the show.

Let me tell you what no bullshit dating coach would ever tell you and what I think you should do.

1) Go all in on the Good Looking Loser lifestyle and invest as much time and energy as possible into maxing out your looks and talking to as many girls as possible.
Do this as long as you want, but at least keep going until you hit 10 lays with at least some of the girls being young and attractive. You can probably do this in a year if you go hard and do it full time.

2) Start implementing some sugar daddy aspects into your game to maximize your results with the hot young girls. However I wouldn't do this until you have at least 10 lays using normal game since you may become too dependent on your money and some girls will take advantage of your lack of game.

3) If you do the above steps for 2-4 years you'll probably get bored of banging thots since they have nothing else to offer. At that point go for quality and find an environment where you have high status and access to younger attractive women who will think you're a catch.
Hint: you already have this since as a surgeon you are surrounded by attractive nurses and medical sales reps. You could even do this now and skip the first two steps and probably get a 30yo who's 7-8/10 and wants to settle down.
Just a warning though, some thots do become nurses. A girl I was banging last year is now in nursing school but before that she was a bottle service girl and before that a server in a Vietnamese coffeeshop, essentially an underground strip club.

The above game plan is basically mine for my thirties and forties. The above might sound hard but I guarantee this will be nothing compared to becoming a surgeon. If you apply yourself and actually try you can probably do this all in 2 years and have the sex life you dream about now. Good luck!
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enjoyablehat
Posts: 288 | Thanks: 48
Joined: Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:15 am
Name: George
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 26
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Location: Boston

Thu Jan 21, 2021 3:01 am

Duke wrote:
Wed Jan 20, 2021 7:35 pm
Welcome to the forum Omar.

With regards to the matter of some of your friends who are no better than you doing better with girls, it is probably a matter of them just playing the numbers game more than you. As @l0vebone mentioned, the more girls you talk to, the more you'll get laid. Fortunately you are in NYC which is probably the best city in the world for girls in terms of sheer numbers and ratios.

Also since I assume your friends are other doctors or lawyers and investment banker types, they may not be mentioning the other stuff they are doing to get these girls like taking them shopping, on fancy trips, giving them allowances, paying their rent, getting bottle service at the club, etc. The average looking guys I know who are successful or have money, all do some type of sugar daddy game to get younger hotter girls or even girlfriends.

Your accomplishments are impressive, especially being a resident surgeon at age 38. However you are coming to the same realization I did at age 28 that being successful does not really translate directly into getting laid with hot girls. In my twenties I was the first one of my peers to get a nice car, then a house, then an investment property, yet it only marginally improved my success with women. At best more cute girls just wanted me as a potential boyfriend or husband. We live in a time where being the hot bartender is infinitely more attractive to girls than being the stable and successful surgeon. Guys like me are impressed with your accomplishments but you can be sure that the average 19yo thot will not be.

If you feel like you are being overlooked by the 18-24yo girls, it is because those girls value sex appeal and social status above everything else. These girls have to think you're hot, or they have to think that being with you will elevate their social status either directly, as in you are the hot bartender at the cool bar, or indirectly, you pay half of her rent so she can live in a nicer apartment in the cool part of town. Hooking up with the okay looking successful guy does not accomplish any of those things for the thot.

The matches you do get are a reflection of your SMV. As you are now you could get an attractive woman in her thirties and certainly forties to serially date or for a relationship, but that doesn't sound like what you want. I'm guessing you want to be like Dr. Christian Troy from "Nip/Tuck," the good looking, rich, plastic surgeon who fucks lots of hot young girls in Miami. In which case you have work to do on your looks, game, and may need to shell out some money for stupid shit that girls value, like purses and cars, like a sugar daddy; even Dr. Christian Troy did some of this on the show.

Let me tell you what no bullshit dating coach would ever tell you and what I think you should do.

1) Go all in on the Good Looking Loser lifestyle and invest as much time and energy as possible into maxing out your looks and talking to as many girls as possible.
Do this as long as you want, but at least keep going until you hit 10 lays with at least some of the girls being young and attractive. You can probably do this in a year if you go hard and do it full time.

2) Start implementing some sugar daddy aspects into your game to maximize your results with the hot young girls. However I wouldn't do this until you have at least 10 lays using normal game since you may become too dependent on your money and some girls will take advantage of your lack of game.

3) If you do the above steps for 2-4 years you'll probably get bored of banging thots since they have nothing else to offer. At that point go for quality and find an environment where you have high status and access to younger attractive women who will think you're a catch.
Hint: you already have this since as a surgeon you are surrounded by attractive nurses and medical sales reps. You could even do this now and skip the first two steps and probably get a 30yo who's 7-8/10 and wants to settle down.
Just a warning though, some thots do become nurses. A girl I was banging last year is now in nursing school but before that she was a bottle service girl and before that a server in a Vietnamese coffeeshop, essentially an underground strip club.

The above game plan is basically mine for my thirties and forties. The above might sound hard but I guarantee this will be nothing compared to becoming a surgeon. If you apply yourself and actually try you can probably do this all in 2 years and have the sex life you dream about now. Good luck!
I'm just going to quote this @Salsasurgeon so you read it twice - to my noobie opinion it seems like good advice
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dashedhopes
Posts: 180 | Thanks: 232
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:20 am
Name: Tristan
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Age: 27
Motto: Anything is better than nothing.
Location: Canada
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Thu Jan 21, 2021 3:34 am

2nd pretty much everything Duke said.

Looks thing can be expanded on and you might be at a loss.

Biggest things you need to work on in terms of looks.

1. Hairline
2. Getting fit

1 - You're a good looking guy, especially when you wear a hat. I would say, either try to get back your hairline. Honestly not sure if this is possible but it could be.

Or start mastering the hat look and go to @Radical's website for more on that.

Or, getting on some things like Minoxidil and/or ru58841 to grow it back. Might be possible and worth a shot. You're in an interesting position where you have the money to get shit like this done.

Or... Get a hair transplant and get on RU58841 and/or Finasteride and/or Minoxidil afterwards to retain the hairline.

All viable options in your position.

image (10) you look WAAAYYYY younger in that and seriously look like you could still be in college. Switch up the hat a bit maybe, the scenery and that could be a great picture for the 1st one on your profile.

Same with Image (20) graduation hat with a cute girl. Again, wearing a hat and it works really well. That could be a viable picture as well on your profile.

So yea, master the hairline and cover the forehead. It ruins the pictures and adds 10 years to your age.

2 - Getting fit.

I tell everyone to do this because it's like compounding interest. Start working out now and just get into a solid routine of 3-4 days per week at the gym for an hour each session and you're golden. 1-2 years and you're going to see significant results if you stay consistent.

You get both of those done and get some solid pictures and I guarantee you're going to get WAY more matches.

You have so many good talents/hobbies that could get you a really sick profile.

Style isn't actually half bad too at least when it looks like you're trying.

I'd say ditch the suit style. Go casual.

You have a ton of potential to 180 your dating life.

Also wanted to note, and this isn't to make you feel bad but it's just a testament to show how shitty some coaches are. The money you spent on coaches could've been spent on a hair transplant and I guarantee it would've yielded 10x the results.
27 years young.

Tristan - Canada

Youtube Channel - https://bit.ly/2CbEbKK (Road to 1k Before End of 2022)
Thebastard
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Thu Jan 21, 2021 8:19 pm

Y'all have beaten me to it. Sort out the hair situation first and foremost would be my leaning.
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Salsasurgeon
Posts: 6 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 7:25 am
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 38

Thu Aug 18, 2022 10:00 pm

Hey guys,

First off thank you so much, and much love to you all. Sorry I've been away for a while as I had my boards, which I passed, and was very busy with COVID patients as the ER and OR was a madhouse. Fortunately, things are better now. I have a lot to say about your posts, but I'll go piece-by-piece and respond to each giving it the special attention it deserves. For now as a general response, while I'm open to dating women across various age groups, the 20s to lower 30s is my ideal target market. I've put over a year of time into the gym and went from 160 to 145 lbs. I was on vacation in London & gained a few pounds, but will work on that. As for the hair, I've shaved it and experimented with that look. I'll post pics with that & facial hair in a bit for further feedback.

More to come, for now thank you so much, really appreciate this, you rock.
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8020beef
Posts: 10 | Thanks: 2
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2021 2:16 am
Name: Jeremiah
Goal: Improve dating profile
Age: 29

Sun Sep 11, 2022 8:45 am

Salsasurgeon wrote:
Thu Aug 18, 2022 10:00 pm
Hey guys,

First off thank you so much, and much love to you all. Sorry I've been away for a while as I had my boards, which I passed, and was very busy with COVID patients as the ER and OR was a madhouse. Fortunately, things are better now. I have a lot to say about your posts, but I'll go piece-by-piece and respond to each giving it the special attention it deserves. For now as a general response, while I'm open to dating women across various age groups, the 20s to lower 30s is my ideal target market. I've put over a year of time into the gym and went from 160 to 145 lbs. I was on vacation in London & gained a few pounds, but will work on that. As for the hair, I've shaved it and experimented with that look. I'll post pics with that & facial hair in a bit for further feedback.

More to come, for now thank you so much, really appreciate this, you rock.
I'm going to press you a bit: what are some strength numbers you currently have for your weight training? How much can you incline bench? weighted chin up? By going to the gym we specifically mean increasing your muscle mass and strength in order to visually look more muscular to other people, not just cardio and losing weight.

A lot of people work out every day and don't make significant progress because they are still lifting the same weights they did a few years ago, example: me a few years ago.
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