eHarmony

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sotospeak
Posts: 7 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:38 am
Goal: Find wife
Age: 39

Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:43 pm

I got on here on a friend's recommendation.
I understand this forum is far more geared toward no strings attached sex but he said I should survey opinions here anyway.

My question or request is:

Is anyone able to point me to a reliable source or guide to setting up eHarmony right?
In regards to online dating I'm looking for the sort of thing that's for serious people only.

I don't know about other sites that may be good for that too. Do they exist?
User avatar
drz
Posts: 62 | Thanks: 44
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:10 pm
Goal: Improve cold approach
Age: 31
Location: UK

Fri Sep 24, 2021 5:41 pm

I know nothing about eHarmony, but I met my current gf via the app "Coffee meets Bagel," which is somewhat more geared towards relationships than say, Tinder.
My goals (next 4 years):
- fix the poor approach-to-date ratio
- get into a relationship (done, in one from March 2021)
- move to a detached house
- Find a way of perma-reducing anxiety when I'm out.


My log
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Rags2Bitches
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 206
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Fri Sep 24, 2021 6:34 pm

following this thread with interest and may be able to contribute more soon

onboarding a client today for my biz who is deeply religious and wants to stay a virgin until marriage. he is looking to max out his pool of options for a wife

I will likely keep the high level approach similar though. A couple of high quality portraits with edgy style, social photo where everyone is happy and he’s the center of attention, a dog photo and a couple of hobby photos (one of them prob a “provider” one like cooking)

bio that screens for connection/ qualities he’s looking for. messaging template that does the same

open to feedback and other ideas
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sotospeak
Posts: 7 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:38 am
Goal: Find wife
Age: 39

Fri Sep 24, 2021 8:22 pm

Rags2Bitches wrote:
Fri Sep 24, 2021 6:34 pm
following this thread with interest and may be able to contribute more soon

onboarding a client today for my biz who is deeply religious and wants to stay a virgin until marriage. he is looking to max out his pool of options for a wife

I will likely keep the high level approach similar though. A couple of high quality portraits with edgy style, social photo where everyone is happy and he’s the center of attention, a dog photo and a couple of hobby photos (one of them prob a “provider” one like cooking)

bio that screens for connection/ qualities he’s looking for. messaging template that does the same

open to feedback and other ideas
Thanks. I'm in Texas too.
I don't have photos with other people. That's something I probably need. I've heard that a dog photo is good in general but I don't wanna have a dog in real life cause I don't wanna have to take care of it.

I think I'm anxious about this because of my experience with Tinder.
My friend tells me that people here put so much effort into crafting their Tinder profiles.
I've also heard things about how the algorithm sticks you at the bottom or shadowbans you.

I guess I'm afraid of making it look like a resume, and that's why it won't get noticed.
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sotospeak
Posts: 7 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:38 am
Goal: Find wife
Age: 39

Tue Sep 28, 2021 4:44 pm

It seems eHarmony is barren as it comes to number of matches nearby. I'm only finding just over a handful of people I'm interested in in my area and more than half haven't logged in for a while. Since I bought the membership I'll keep checking it. My biggest challenge is around beliefs and politics. It seems, though I know it isn't true, that all the younger women go what to me is half a commie. I tend to get along with Christians so much more and I'm not a Christian insofar as I cannot say that I literally believe in Jesus the way the Christian girls on dating profiles say. I wouldn't be going to church only to meet women, I can make friends, and I only have a couple locally since I've moved here a couple of years ago.

There's also the idea (not only churches) of going to where the kind of women you'd like are. My idea was to wear something off-putting like something that says "back the blue" or with American flags. I'd like for it to be understated since I don't wanna go around too tacky. What do y'all think? Any other ideas?
User avatar
Rags2Bitches
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 206
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:36 pm

Lots of limiting beliefs here man.

Make accounts on the apps that humans are actually on in your area, Hinge/CMB esp but also Bumble and Tinder. Just make it clear that you're looking for something serious in your bio.

You need a maxed out profile following the principles of this site and Andy's tinder guide regardless. High quality portraits with good edgy style. You do not need to actually acquire a dog to have a dog photo....you just want to visually signal that you're capable of caring for a living thing and that living thing likes you back. You can ask your friends to help you stage a group photo or even hire someone.

All the theorizing about politics/religion is a mix of mental masturbation and a defense mechanism on your part. Create a profile that gets a lot of matches and dates. Then you can screen for whatever qualities you're looking for.
User avatar
sotospeak
Posts: 7 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:38 am
Goal: Find wife
Age: 39

Wed Sep 29, 2021 2:25 pm

Thanks for your reply.
I've got profiles on those sites and have gotten photos taken by my friend who's on here who told me to register.
The dog picture, I don't have yet.

About the politics and religion, that's more for in person dating time commitment, not online. Since time is a factor for me, that's why I want to go where there's a higher percentage of the demographic regarding religion/politics so I don't waste my time.

I'm trying to post my photos but the website is having errors.

This is an edit after my initial post:
I don't expect a lower expectation from you, as I see and appreciate you taking the time to look at my post.
I know this place is very much about accountability and no excuses.
For context, my situation involves 2 part time jobs, finishing a master's, and a 3 year professional training course, in addition to things I haven't mentioned.
Granted. . . if I audit my hours of responsibilities I *do* have time for more of this, but practically it's very difficult.
Now that I've opened up the box of starting to date seriously again, it's gonna take some serious adjustment.
My tendency to dive into things, rush it, try to go too fast, do everything at once/at the same time has led to serious problems. @Ed_ knows.
User avatar
sotospeak
Posts: 7 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:38 am
Goal: Find wife
Age: 39

Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:46 am

My photographs are in this link

User avatar
Rags2Bitches
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 206
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:28 am

yea man that sounds like a full plate.

how important is finding a wife to you? are you willing to do whatever it takes in the time you have available?

Photos are good quality, i’m sure the forum member knows what they’re doing. Can’t tell what your facial expressions are, those are really important

You have boring old man style. sleeves on some of those shirts are way too loose. pants too. looks like you’re wearing glasses and that haircut is not doing your receding hairline any favors. you have 2 photos in a row in the same clothes screaming this man was taken for a photoshoot.

can’t see your face but all of this is looking thoroughly average and that’s not good enough. so it’ll take some work and more importantly psychological buy in on your part to fix.

regarding in person, i just don’t know enough about religious/political social life and how many single women go to these events and how easy it is to meet them. my gut feeling though tells me you’re better off supplementing OLD with country and/or sports bars
User avatar
sotospeak
Posts: 7 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:38 am
Goal: Find wife
Age: 39

Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:40 am

Looking at them again, you're correct about the sleeves. To the photos with the same outfits, I only use 1 of them.
I see what you mean about the style.
I don't know understand what "supplementing OLD" means.
In all honesty I would like someone younger, for the reasons that I don't wanna get stuck with someone who's desperate to have children and we may make a big mistake.
But I kinda live an older dude life. At least there's not a lot of excitement going on.
I'll post again when I have updates.
Don't got nothin' else.
User avatar
Rags2Bitches
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 206
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:47 am

supplementing online dating

your life doesn’t need to be more exciting but your presentation does

make sure you carefully read Part 1 of the tinder guide and the case study on Radical’s hatfish blog
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