Erectile Dysfunction

Post Reply
User avatar
Drail
Posts: 8 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Mon May 24, 2021 1:08 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25

Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:04 pm

Keen to hear if anyone has any similar experiences / advice for this one. I'll try and keep it short but I need to cover the background info.

I had pretty much normal function up until I lost my virginity (meaning making out with girls would always get me instantly hard no matter what). I think the experience broke something mentally in me and I've had ED ever since. This was 5 years ago with a girl I wasn't really interested in but she kept pursuing me and eventually I gave in and tried having sex with her. I really didn't like the whole situation because she was cheating on her existing boyfriend among other things. I had ED so it didn't work. I tried almost daily with her for 3 whole months until finally I was able to have something resembling sex. My sex drive was fully broken at that time, I couldn't get it up at all even for porn which really frustrated me. I practically went from normal function to a dead dick overnight (however I'd still get rock hard morning wood so I knew it had to be something mental). My self esteem regarding women was rock bottom so when she finally broke up with the guy she was cheating on I ended up staying in a relationship with her for 4 years until we broke up earlier this year. Over that time I was able to have regular sex but it was never enjoyable because the ED never really went away. I was always doing things to try and prevent going flaccid and so I could never actually enjoy sex. We had an open relationship at times and I was able to get two other girls into bed with me. First girl I did manage to have sex but it required a lot of forceful effort from both of us and as soon as I put a condom on it would last for a few pumps before it was gone and we'd rinse and repeat. I went through pretty much an entire box with her. Rushing it in for a few pumps was not fun for either of us. The next girl I saw a couple times but I just couldn't get it to work at all so I just gave her oral. She got me off flaccid which was weird and not really enjoyable. Since leaving the relationship I've been able to have sex with 5 more girls off the apps, so I'm not 100% broken, but it requires a lot of patience and pills, and even then it's not really enjoyable for me.

I think losing my virginity like that just destroyed my mental image of sex. It's always spoken about as this wonderful experience that every guy is always dying to have more of even if they're already getting heaps, but for me I just associate it with feelings of frustration and inferiority. I have a lot of jealousy of people who enjoy sex. I have a lot of resentment for my ex (even though I know its not fully her fault). I feel the only reason I do anything sexual in the first place is because a) I want to beat ED because I'd really loathe to present it to my future wife and b) because if I stopped trying to have sex now I'd look back and regret it in the future, the way I regret not trying when I was younger now. That's compounded by the fact that I know your dick stops working as well with age anyway so I have a fear of missing out. But even at my age I worry I may have missed the boat when it comes to mind blowing sex. Those are the main things that bring me to this community.

Since I've had the issue so long that I've basically tried everything. I've been through everything on Andy's guide here. First thing I did was cut the porn cold turkey for 6+ months. This wasn't hard because my libido was so dead I didn't have any desire to watch aside from just to check if I could get hard. I tried a bunch of stuff outside of my dick with the girls. I'm honest with every girl about my issues and how I'm feeling. The stuff around kinks/fantasies doesn't work for me because my libido is so low I don't have any. I fixed up my diet, hit the gym, cut out the alcohol, none of it really helps.

Since the start of this year I started down the medical route. I got pills from my doctor. They were definitely worth it, I wouldn't have had the first two lays since the breakup without them, but it's still hit and miss and I hate the side effects. I went to a men's health clinic, got a penile doppler ultrasound which came back saying they couldn't find anything wrong. The doctor suggested a cavernosogram (they inject your dick with something radioactive to try and image the veins) but I decided against it because it's invasive, there's risks involved, and there's a chance of false positives and negatives. I still sometimes wake up with morning wood if I sleep well, and I have a handful of experiences I can remember here and there where my dick just worked, so I'm thinking its a psychological issue and now I've started to speak to a counselor about it, but I've just had one session. I'm hoping the counselor combined with option #15 from Andy's list will start to make a lasting impact.

Can anyone weigh in on this?
User avatar
drz
Posts: 52 | Thanks: 34
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:10 pm
Goal: Improve cold approach
Age: 31
Location: UK

Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:16 pm

Hi Drail,

I see you've taken some steps (like diet) to help. For me, the following improved my libido and erections:
- Removing sugar from my diet, and going full keto on certain days. Simple sugars are known to drop testosterone levels (along with other inflammatory agents to my knowledge)
- Fasting, which helped me lose weight
- Getting more sleep

Z
My goals (next 4 years):
- fix the poor approach-to-date ratio
- get into a relationship (done, in one from March 2021)
- move to a detached house
- Find a way of perma-reducing anxiety when I'm out.


My log
User avatar
Drail
Posts: 8 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Mon May 24, 2021 1:08 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25

Thu Jul 29, 2021 2:48 am

Thanks for the advice. Around the start of this year I got into keto and fasting. It helped me lose 5 kgs and improve my looks but it didn't help much with the ED. I should also mention I tried / am taking supplements including zinc, magnesium, vit d, maca, etc. Again didn't help the ED.

In all honesty I've have tried to improve my sleep but I never been happy with it. I think there's potential there so I'll try harder to fix it. What annoys me is that before the onset of ED, none of this mattered. I could be out of my mind fatigued, drunk, anxious, you name it and interest from a girl would still get me hard.

By the way what's the origin of your name? Anything to do with bikes?
User avatar
play_time_is_over
Posts: 166 | Thanks: 90
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 11:08 am
Name: Simon
Goal: 30 Lays
Age: 30
Motto: Doing something badly is better than doing nothing
Location: Australia

Thu Jul 29, 2021 3:36 am

I had similar issues where I tried many remedies but it basically came down to performance anxiety. I would try 10mg of Cialis and if you still can't get hard then it doesn't have anything to do with your physiology and would be psychological. My psychological ED is improving by just getting more experience, each time it gets a little easier, I also have given myself permission to not care if the encounter goes well. Considering you where able to quit porn for 6 months though... is something else. Sounds like a very low sex drive, perhaps hormonal imbalance?
Goal: 11 / 30 lifetime lays.

Stats: 6'5" - 88kg - 30 years old.
User avatar
drz
Posts: 52 | Thanks: 34
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:10 pm
Goal: Improve cold approach
Age: 31
Location: UK

Thu Jul 29, 2021 10:05 am

@Drail As you mentioned that previously you were fine, do you notice a different in your mood now vs then? Is it worse, better, more relaxed, apathetic to life?

I'm not massively turned on by anything these days. Even with my current gf I need her to give me fellatio half of the time to get it up.

As for my username - dr = doctor, and Z, is the last letter of the alphabet :P
My goals (next 4 years):
- fix the poor approach-to-date ratio
- get into a relationship (done, in one from March 2021)
- move to a detached house
- Find a way of perma-reducing anxiety when I'm out.


My log
User avatar
Drail
Posts: 8 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Mon May 24, 2021 1:08 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25

Thu Jul 29, 2021 11:02 am

play_time_is_over wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 3:36 am
I had similar issues where I tried many remedies but it basically came down to performance anxiety. I would try 10mg of Cialis and if you still can't get hard then it doesn't have anything to do with your physiology and would be psychological. My psychological ED is improving by just getting more experience, each time it gets a little easier, I also have given myself permission to not care if the encounter goes well. Considering you where able to quit porn for 6 months though... is something else. Sounds like a very low sex drive, perhaps hormonal imbalance?
I've been experimenting with different doses of C and V. It's hit and miss. First couple times I took V I took the full 100mg dose and I had a situation where my got maybe 75% hard and it constantly felt like it was going down, but it just wouldn't go down. It was great for the girls because I could just keep going and it just wouldn't go down but the odd feeling meant it wasn't too enjoyable for me. It also didn't get me hard enough to use a condom, when I tried I just soft. Other times on V I tried lower doses like 50 and 25 mg and I can't say there was a noticeable effect. I then hopped on the daily 5 mg C tablets, and I had an experience where I was fully hard just from making out. It was great honestly I felt as if I were cured. There was no odd feeling. I later lost the erection because of bad vibes after condoms kept breaking (keeps happening to me because I've got a funny dick) but I didn't let that get me down, getting hard just from making out was a huge win to me. But it was sort of short lived because I taking the same dose of pills daily and tried with two other girls and I was back to square one as if I wasn't taking anything. It's this sort of mixed reaction from the pills that leads me to believe I've got something more mental rather than physical. When I got the prescription the doctor made me get my T tested. It came back low mid, but still within range. I don't want to get into bro science and ascribe my ED just to this one low mid hormone though, the body is more complex than that, for example I know my brother has an even lower level yet has no issues androgenically (he's jacked and has a normal sex drive). I do think its more of a mental sex drive issue as you suggest.

BTW man I found your vid pretty inspiring, it takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there like that, even more so to do a video podcast on it.
drz wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 10:05 am
@Drail As you mentioned that previously you were fine, do you notice a different in your mood now vs then? Is it worse, better, more relaxed, apathetic to life?

I'm not massively turned on by anything these days. Even with my current gf I need her to give me fellatio half of the time to get it up.

As for my username - dr = doctor, and Z, is the last letter of the alphabet :P
If I think back I'm pretty sure I was worse off back then than now. I had worse sleep, worse health, wasn't working out, was eating worse, was watching more porn and jacking off more with all the bad habits, and was more anxious in general, yet my dick worked. The only real variable that changed was I tried to lose my virginity with my ex and made a fool of myself. I think it was just the shitty experience which just shattered my enthusiasm for sex. It really was instant, because beforehand even with the same girl where we'd be kissing but I still didn't want to do anything further with her, I was rock hard no problem. It was really like someone went into my brain and flipped a switch that just crushed my sex drive on that one night I tried to have sex with her. And then I kept trying and failing for 3 months straight which probably mentally reinforced all my negative attitudes. Now she's long gone but I still have the same issue with other girls and I still feel like I've never enjoyed sex. It just feels like a chore I have to struggle with if I am to feel content when I'm older. Thinking about the whole thing makes me a bit resentful honestly.
User avatar
Dustin
Posts: 230 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Thu Jul 29, 2021 5:10 pm

I never felt like I enjoyed sex much either. But I believe there is a cure. At least for me. Your posts are strange to me since you say 6+ months no porn and minimal benefit.

I think nofap is great but there is even a much higher level beyond it where sex is just crazy ass good at least for me. Nofap is a element but there are some missing pieces that you have to add.

You should not need cialis or viagra either. Ideally.
User avatar
Dustin
Posts: 230 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Thu Jul 29, 2021 5:12 pm

Viagra and cialis do nothing for your enjoyment of sex btw at least in my experience. They might let you get hard (at best) that's it. Doesn't mean you're having a good time. Enjoyment / being rock hard are related but two separate issues.
User avatar
Drail
Posts: 8 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Mon May 24, 2021 1:08 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25

Fri Jul 30, 2021 10:06 am

Dustin wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 5:10 pm
I never felt like I enjoyed sex much either. But I believe there is a cure. At least for me. Your posts are strange to me since you say 6+ months no porn and minimal benefit.

I think nofap is great but there is even a much higher level beyond it where sex is just crazy ass good at least for me. Nofap is a element but there are some missing pieces that you have to add.

You should not need cialis or viagra either. Ideally.
So you're saying you tried no fap for a bit and it cured your low sex drive? When I first got ED I was googling frantically trying to work out how to fix it and all sources on the net said try no fap. That's when I did my six months. It was easy because my drive was totally crunched anyway so I had barely any desire to jack off, but it didn't fix the issue for me. I've given no fap a couple shorter runs since and I think there's an element of "use it or lose it" where it's actually detrimental to my sex drive rather than beneficial. The counselor says the same thing and instead recommends something called "mindful masturbation". I've never given mindfulness/meditation a proper crack so that's on the list at the moment.
User avatar
Dustin
Posts: 230 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Sat Jul 31, 2021 2:02 pm

I need to experiment with it more, I only just recently made the discoveries that I did. Like in the last month and a half. And then stopped cause I relapsed again. Along with all other sorts of crazy shit that happened. Mostly self inflicted.

I'm about to do it again and just try to take it to a whole other level this time. Using everything I've learned up until now.

I don't know if we are the same or not though. I never had issues with watching porn, getting it up for porn, or orgasming from porn / jacking off. And I don't think I've ever actually had low sex drive exactly, except for times when I was flatlining during nofap.

Definitely it's been lower at times and higher at others.

I'm surprised that 6+ months of nofap has no effect on you whatsoever. Was this strict nofap? And it's also strange to me that this could be entirely psychological. And that you had trouble even getting it up for porn. I have never heard of anything like that actually. You are a different person though so I don't know.

My issues with real life sex were horrible though, my ED was incredibly bad even in my early 20's, and it took me months with a fuck buddy / strict nofap at that time after losing my virginity to a different girl a few years earlier before I even had my first orgasm during sex. And many humiliating "lays" where I couldn't even get hard at all and just had to awkwardly leave.

Yes with strict nofap was how I fixed my ED issues in my early 20's and started being able to get hard even during first time hookups. And sex got a ton better too during that time. I thought that was like as good as it could get at the time and that nofap was some sort of holy messiah.

I still think nofap is great and will practice it again, but there is other stuff I found out that makes it even way way better. I don't know if has the same effect on other people though.

The sex was like totally out of this world at that point, and not cause of the girl but just the stuff I figured out finally. I didn't realize just how much I had been missing out all this time. And can't wait to get back out there again using my newfound knowledge. And I haven't even nearly pushed it anywhere as far as it can go either. It was just like a tiny taste really. But I gotta slowly get myself back out of the hole again.

I haven't actually used it much, except on two girls, at this point, cause I haven't had the chance yet.

And I know it's nothing to do with testosterone either, of course it matters plenty I'm sure, but I didn't do anything to change my testosterone to get there.

My T is probably like 600~ something at least going by tests when I was younger. I don't know if it's lower now.

I mostly figured these things out by accident in fact.

I do think you can figure this out and solve it most likely.

It's really weird to me to imagine this is totally psychological though. Not saying it isn't.
User avatar
Dustin
Posts: 230 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 30

Sat Jul 31, 2021 2:57 pm

I also did have an interesting experience awhile ago.

I got incredibly drunk one night, with a friend from GLL forum actually of all places, in Denver.

We got so fucking smashed that night we both passed out in the streets. And I was fighting with cops and spitting on paramedics apparently when they found us.

I don't actually remember, because when i drink that much I blackout and my memory disappears.

Anyways woke up in the hospital and got my gf at the time to come pick me up and take me home. Tried sobering up but it just wasn't going away and felt strange. Turned out they had given me haldol injections to calm me down. Which is a potent anti psychotic.

The next week was like a living hell and I really thought the alcohol mixed with the haldol gave me permanent brain damage. It was like I was still alive, but my soul was gone from my body. Like i wasn't there anymore. It was absolutely terrifying. I couldn't even figure out basic things either or understand them. And I was constantly restless and couldn't relax and couldn't sleep. I thought I was like seriously damaged for the rest of my life.

Strangely I had no more social anxiety though.

I got temporary tardive dyskinesia from a allergic reaction to it as well. Where my head was permanently stuck looking up. My gf took me to the hospital after that happened. They fixed it with benadryl in a IV.

My brain was still fucked for awhile. But it did in fact return to normal eventually.

But that's not the important part of the story.

What is important, is for a brief window, when I finally started getting better, my brain was like cured all my problems. All my social anxiety went away. I felt amazing.

And most strange of all, I was insanely horny too. Like it just happened one day, I was driving my gf somewhere, and my dick just got completely rock hard in my pants. It felt like it was going to explode. Like I was going to have a orgasm if I didn't do something about it.

I drove my gf home as fast as I could dragged her inside and she got on her knees and gave me head and the whole thing felt fucking incredible. And she seemed way more attractive than normal. It was so good. And I had probably the best nut of my life.

It literally only lasted for one shot though. Then went back to normal. And my anxiety quickly returned in the next few days.

Only later on I figured out that haldol works by blocking dopamine receptors. So I theorized that it had caused my dopamine receptors to super sensitize, in response.

Of course though once the block was lifted, and I now had super physiological dopamine function, my brain recognized that too, and quickly adapted and turned it back down.

That was my first eye opening experience about this. But of course, haldol is extremely hard to get ahold of, and besides, it's so incredibly bad, and the positive effect window is so small, that obviously you wouldn't use that for this.

So for a long time I always remembered that experience and searched in vain but could never replicate it.

I also remembered my first times looking at porn and how amazing it was the first few times. But those were really my only memories where sex was super good. Other than that, it was decent sometimes, but never anything close to that.

Just figured that's the way it is, but I think I might have hopefully finally figured it out after all this time. And with stuff that is actually reasonable and practical and sustainable.

Just wanted to share that story with you, thought you might find it interesting.
User avatar
Drail
Posts: 8 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Mon May 24, 2021 1:08 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25

Mon Aug 02, 2021 9:58 am

Dustin wrote:
Sat Jul 31, 2021 2:02 pm
I'm surprised that 6+ months of nofap has no effect on you whatsoever. Was this strict nofap? And it's also strange to me that this could be entirely psychological. And that you had trouble even getting it up for porn. I have never heard of anything like that actually. You are a different person though so I don't know.

My issues with real life sex were horrible though, my ED was incredibly bad even in my early 20's, and it took me months with a fuck buddy / strict nofap at that time after losing my virginity to a different girl a few years earlier before I even had my first orgasm during sex. And many humiliating "lays" where I couldn't even get hard at all and just had to awkwardly leave.

Yes with strict nofap was how I fixed my ED issues in my early 20's and started being able to get hard even during first time hookups. And sex got a ton better too during that time. I thought that was like as good as it could get at the time and that nofap was some sort of holy messiah.
It wasn't strict nofap. It was 6 months no porn while I was trying to have sex / humiliating myself with my partner at the time. I have had a couple shorter runs of nofap after that but I found they actually lowered my already low drive. I think I might try a 'nofap' routine where I don't watch porn, but if I ever happen to be lucky enough to get hard while doing it I'll jack off with no porn. Counselor also recommends "mindful masturbation" so I don't think nofap is right for me. I also have a maladaptive way of jacking off (similar to prone masturbation but I don't need to be prone) which forums on the net and my counselor say can only be corrected by jacking off with a better technique.

As for it being psychological, there's no other possible explanation aside from injury for how I could be totally fine one night and the very next night have a totally dead dick, no more sexual desire, and I can't even get it up by myself. Unless I somehow happened to have injured myself in my sleep without knowing it the exact night before I first tried to have sex (seems exceedingly unlikely) then the only explanation is psychological. Compound that with the fact that today I don't have any sexual fantasies or positive experiences with sex, and the fact that I still get morning wood (albeit not 100% hard), it seems like the only explanation is psychological.
Dustin wrote:
Sat Jul 31, 2021 2:02 pm
I still think nofap is great and will practice it again, but there is other stuff I found out that makes it even way way better. I don't know if has the same effect on other people though.

The sex was like totally out of this world at that point, and not cause of the girl but just the stuff I figured out finally. I didn't realize just how much I had been missing out all this time. And can't wait to get back out there again using my newfound knowledge. And I haven't even nearly pushed it anywhere as far as it can go either. It was just like a tiny taste really. But I gotta slowly get myself back out of the hole again.

I haven't actually used it much, except on two girls, at this point, cause I haven't had the chance yet.
You should actually tell us what "it" is or just not mention it at all. It's not helpful for you to write like this. Is this something to do with your haldol experience?
Post Reply