Depressed about circumcision

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Manly Cockfellow
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:16 pm

tdan187 wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 12:54 pm
I heard things occasionally about circumcision being a problem during sex, but usually brushed it off as either untrue or exaggerated and didn't think much of it.

Recently though I had alot of free time on my hands and did alot of research and what I found really depressed me. Apparently I've been having lack luster sex this whole entire time, as least in comparison to what it could be, due to seriously desensitized nerves in my penis from circumcision. People also claim it gets worse with age / over time.

I'm researching solutions and implementing things to help the issue, but the fact that ultimately I can never have / experience sex the same way or at the same level of intensity as I would if someone hadn't basically mutilated my dick as a baby is definitely annoying me right now and hurting my confidence.

Curious if anyone has any thoughts or feedback on this?

And hopefully in the future this outdated stupid practice comes to an end so that no one else ever has to deal with it. I think it's a thing that is seriously hurting men far more than anyone realizes, in addition to porn and porn addiction. It should be illegal honestly.

I've never experienced the difference since I was circumcised at birth, so I'm not sure just exactly how damaging it is, but the research I've done indicates it might remove as much as 80 - 90% of the pleasure from sex.

Thoughts?
Wow, I came to the exact same realization a few weeks ago...

Eventually I'm gonna make a post about circumcision, how much it desensitizes you and what you can do to combat desensitization, but for now I'll just say smoking weed or doing an edible before sex has been absolutely life-changing, because of how much more sensitive it makes me and how much slower I can go while still feeling enough pleasure to maintain an erection.

My favorite benefit of being able to go slower while staying rock hard is that it makes sex so much better and more intimate for the women I am with.

Don't get me wrong, women love to be pounded good and hard sometimes, but definitely not all the time, and definitely not without a slow, gradual, intimate build-up.
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:47 pm

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Last edited by Squilliam on Fri Nov 04, 2022 12:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
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NewFoundResolve
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 6:36 pm

@tdan187 @Squilliam

I am personally opposed to the practice generally and was once involved with intactivism.

You should not trust *anything* that is said by either anti or pro circumcision camps, whether its from organizations, or even from medical journals, etc. Like the first thing Squilliam linked to was done by one of its biggest proponents and super biased man named Brian Morris. You'll see statstics said a million timed by intactivists with no basis in reality, such as loss of 20,000 nerve endings or 80 percent of feeling, etc. Both camps tend to hugely exaggerate either the potential harms or benefits of it.

Tdan, you said that until you researched recently that you thought you were having good sex and now you believe that you're missing out on 80 or 90 percent of the feeling.
Well, you *were* having good sex, and this statistic has virtually no real backing to it.

Based on what I have read of mens experiences, circumcision does, on average, lessen sensation/sensitivity. The amount can vary greatly from man to man and also depends on how tightly you were cut. I say *sensation*, not *pleasure*, a key difference, as for example, a man who has some less sensation but can last much longer may prefer it as that, and some uncut men can feel *too* sensitive to the point of discomfort. There are men who have issues such as "turkey neck", where the ball skins rides up due to lack of adequate remaining dick skin, with uncomfortable or painful erections due to lack of adequate skin left, with meatal stenosis, skin bridges and other issues due to being circumcised. On the other hand, uncut men may have to deal with phimosis, paraphimosis, foreskin tears and a number of other nasty foreskin related issues down the road and may need to end up being circumcised for medical reasons, or simply wish to be circumcised and would rather it have been done as a baby. The difference between the unhappy cut man and unhappy uncut man is that there is a more clear cut solution for the latter, although it does take time, money and pain.

There is at least a partial solution in your case and for unhappy cut men: Foreskin Restoration, in which you apply tension to the remaining skin to create new skin which will eventually cover the penis as the foreskin would have to protect it, resensitize it and function as it would in sexual activities.
If you wish to "restore" your foreskin via foreskin restoration, yo can do so via manual stretching, devices or both. There is a subreddit called Foreskin Restoration with all the accounts of the process, questions, answers, guides and links you should need. There is also a subreddit called Restoring Dick with progress pics and before and after pics. The process takes daily consistency, and depending on how tight you were cut, will likely take 1 to several years. Based on accounts I have read, men have gotten rid of their Turkey Neck issue, painful erections, and often greatly increase the amount of sensation they have and their enjoyment of sex. I myself do plan to fully restore my foreskin for greater sensation and for comfort.
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Squilliam
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:35 pm

NewFoundResolve wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 6:36 pm
You should not trust *anything* that is said by either anti or pro circumcision camps, whether its from organizations, or even from medical journals, etc. Like the first thing Squilliam linked to was done by one of its biggest proponents and super biased man named Brian Morris. You'll see statstics said a million timed by intactivists with no basis in reality, such as loss of 20,000 nerve endings or 80 percent of feeling, etc. Both camps tend to hugely exaggerate either the potential harms or benefits of it.
I actually did read that at the end, it's a bit questionable. However, how much does that compromise the integrity of the study when you consider that it's a review of existing studies, rather than a single study being conducted explicitly by that researcher? It's important to note that scientific studies don't exactly prove or disprove anything, either there is evidence to support a claim or not.

80-90% seems bogus, not even just because the number is so high, but how can such a thing be quantified to begin with?

For the record, I am pretty anti-circumcision. I must admit, it's pretty disheartening to think that I will never get to experience sex the way it was intended to just because of some ancient barbaric ritual. On the bright side, I've never had sex with a foreskin so I don't know what it's like, even if it does have more sensitivity.

At the end of the day, it's done, and all we can do is accept it, I'll check out the foreskin restoration thing though, seems interesting.

Still, I think it seems much more likely that OP is still suffering the effects of porn addiction or death grip.
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Squilliam
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Fri Nov 04, 2022 6:29 pm

@tdan187

It can take months to fully regain sensitivity after having death grip. That's why I asked.

I don't think you're going to get much useful insight from uncut guys. The only kind of guys who could really give any meaningful insight are those who were circumcised later in life.

Either way, you're clearly still obsessing over something you can't control. Yes, I wish I had my foreskin still intact too. But that's out of our control. Listen to Andy. Make your sex life better than 99.999% of uncut guys.

It's better than sitting around obsessing about something you can't change.

And maybe consider speaking to a therapist about it.
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AmericanAndy
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Fri Nov 04, 2022 8:30 pm

Mine is uncircumsized and it also takes me a while to ejaculate. I've heard of there being sensitizing creams out there I've yet to try out. Another way is just not cumming for over a week or two, makes sex way more hypersensitive. Also check if you take any kind of pain numbing meds, that can also desensitize you.
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Squilliam
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Fri Nov 04, 2022 8:32 pm

AmericanAndy wrote:
Fri Nov 04, 2022 8:30 pm
Mine is uncircumsized and it also takes me a while to ejaculate. I've heard of there being sensitizing creams out there I've yet to try out. Another way is just not cumming for over a week or two, makes sex way more hypersensitive. Also check if you take any kind of pain numbing meds, that can also desensitize you.
Also you can edge before sex. I highly recommend that if you have a problem with delayed ejaculation. Just be careful to not actually finish.
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Sat Nov 05, 2022 4:57 pm

tdan187 wrote:
Sat Nov 05, 2022 10:58 am
You could have a chuckle about it all you want honestly. I don't know why but even though I know you're trying to encourage, I felt the response as honestly just invalidating and lacking in empathy. I got my dick literally mutilated as a baby, maybe chill a bit, before just saying I'm a little bitch and my concerns are pathetic whining. Maybe I can't fix it and it's not something to obsess about, I get it. But have a little humanity bro.

As far as me arguing with the advice I was given, I don't see what's invalid about what I said and if you have a actual response to it then feel free to share, I don't think it's a subject you know anything about though. Are you even cut and have you done foreskin restoration yourself? If so then please share your opinion, otherwise honestly I think you're just kind of being an asshole. What's the issue with what I said exactly? Sorry that I don't just immediately listen to some dude on the internet who chimes in on a subject he doesn't have any personal experience with and do exactly what he says without questioning it or thinking about it.

Or that this upsets me. Which it does. I'm a human being. Just cause I shouldn't obsess about it doesn't mean I'm not going to be upset about it for some time, I literally only just figured it out actually.

If someone who has actually done foreskin restoration would like to share though then please do so.

But anyways I stand by everything said in this thread. I get it's something that can't be changed for me personally. And it's not something I intend to stay hung up on. I do think you can make some serious improvements on it, but the foreskin is never probably coming back.
Nobody is saying that your feelings are invalid. I'm not happy about not having my foreskin either.

But you're literally trying to argue with reality. You are spending your time obsessing and worrying about something that you cannot change. That's not productive at all, you are reducing yourself to a helpless victim.

You've posted about 10 paragraphs on here about how you're upset about not having your foreskin. If it is upsetting you that much, you should get professional help.
tdan187 wrote:
Sat Nov 05, 2022 11:07 am
I'm not on any pain meds. But thanks for sharing this. I have the same issue even though sex is alot better than it used to be. But I still take time to cum from oral for example, especially if the girl is mediocre at it. And my orgasms are fairly lackluster, although part of that I'm sure is I fuck quite alot at the moment. I'm actually finally on a break from girls for reasons irrelevant to this thread. I'm sure they would improve some by abstaining but I suspect that if I wasn't cut, they would be consistently alot better with less abstaining. But then again, I don't personally know for sure. I highly suspect it though.
What about anti-depressants?
tdan187 wrote:
Sat Nov 05, 2022 11:19 am
I kind of practice this, but during sex itself. Like edge myself during sex, don't cum, or get right near it and stop. Then fuck again later. Building it up. It definitely is legit.
That works, but that's slightly different than what I'm talking about. That's more for preventing premature ejaculation, where you stop right before cumming. Or it can be used to make orgasms more intense.

What I would do is, 15 minutes before my fuck buddy came over, I'd jerk off and get very close to cumming but then stop. Then when we started having sex I would explode within 15 or 20 minutes despite normally taking an hour.

I'd bet money that it wasn't because of being circumcised, rather death grip & porn was at fault there.
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