Can You Get Erections Without Direct Contact? (Eg, from Kissing)

[ImChuckBass]

Hey everyone,

Slightly hesitant to make this post, but I really do feel you will all be honest about your experiences.

Do you often need direct contact (hand stimulation or blowjob) to get an erection?

Or can you get an erection from making out/kissing only?

I know there's no right or wrong, but I'm in the process of trying to better understand my own body.

A couple of times last year, I was really happy that I managed to get semi-erect when making out with girls.

Lately, I've regressed, and when I'm with a beautiful woman and she's completely naked, there's no blood flow or 'signal' being sent downstairs.

I'm sure it's part performance anxiety, but I'm also convinced it's physiological sometimes.

I got my testosterone levels checked, and my free testosterone is in the average - high range so no problems there.

Thanks everyone.

Screen Shot 2023-03-10 at 12.16.11 pm.png

[Squilliam]

In my experience, no. I can get a boner just from making out and touching her.

I think you're probably just dealing with performance anxiety. It's easy for anxiety to inhibit you from enjoying yourself. It's difficult to get turned on if you're anxious

[Kurvam]

ill second that and say its an anxiety issue. Once these things get into your head it can really paralyse your ability to be in the moment. Highly unlikely it is any other reason.

For me i get rock hard erections from making out with girls especially if its a new one for the first time, definitely don't need anything more to be turned on.

Supplementing with zinc, maca and working out consistently definitely helped with the quality of my erections and overall horniness aswell.

[tdan187]

For me it's pretty variable. But i am all natural currently, just like dudes who lift without gear. If i was doing a bunch of viagra or injecting stuff into my dick then maybe it would be different.

There is stuff that helps improve your consistency but if you're "all natural" then it's unlikely you are just going to pop erections constantly whenever the fuck you want regardless of the girl or the situation or your current condition (like sleep, have you eaten, how many times have you already came, how stressed are you, etc). You're a human being.

For me currently, it depends on the situation. Even with all the stuff i've done to help with it. And that's ok by the way. You shouldn't even need to get hard all the time if you aren't that into the girl or how she is or the moment or etc.

But if it's happening all the time even with girls you really like in the right moments that you are after, then maybe assess what you need to do.

[Renton]

For me it depends on:

- How well I've slept the night before / recently.
- The girl, and how much she turns me on.
- How good the connection is between us. A better connection usually = harder cock.

Some girls my body just does not respond to. I dated a hot blonde last year and her personality really put me off and I just couldn't get hard with her even though she had an objectively great body and face.

[Sisyphus]

- How good the connection is between us. A better connection usually = harder cock.

This is super underrated and somehow never talked about. For me, and I suppose, for a lot of guys, having an emotional connection IS important for having an erection.

I don't know you, but I think that in 95% of cases the problem is psychological/emotional, not phisiological.

[Sparkles]

I can get fully hard from just making out (or thinking about fucking a girl). It takes more than a few seconds though, maybe a minute.

The Reddit poster had good advice though. Just find what works for you and do that. In my case, sometimes I can lose an erection if I'm focusing too long on touching her body / fingering her / eating her pussy. The thing that works for me is testicle stimulation. I get the girl to fondle my balls for a bit - gets me hard again in no time. But for you, it might be a blowjob, dirty talk, whispering in your ear, feeling her titties, etc. Experiment with things.

If you have trouble getting / maintaining an erection at all though, I would definitely look into Viagra and/or supplementation.

[Renton]

- How good the connection is between us. A better connection usually = harder cock.

This is super underrated and somehow never talked about. For me, and I suppose, for a lot of guys, having an emotional connection IS important for having an erection.

I don't know you, but I think that in 95% of cases the problem is psychological/emotional, not phisiological.

I don't have a problem with it. You must be referring to the OP in your second sentence.

But yes it's nearly always psychological. Unless you have a condition / disease then for the vast majority of men the issue is mental (though it can run deep).

[Sisyphus]

This is super underrated and somehow never talked about. For me, and I suppose, for a lot of guys, having an emotional connection IS important for having an erection.

I don't know you, but I think that in 95% of cases the problem is psychological/emotional, not phisiological.

I don't have a problem with it. You must be referring to the OP in your second sentence.

But yes it's nearly always psychological. Unless you have a condition / disease then for the vast majority of men the issue is mental (though it can run deep).

Yes, I was refering to OP

[spencers94]

Hey everyone,

Slightly hesitant to make this post, but I really do feel you will all be honest about your experiences.

Do you often need direct contact (hand stimulation or blowjob) to get an erection?

Or can you get an erection from making out/kissing only?

I know there's no right or wrong, but I'm in the process of trying to better understand my own body.

A couple of times last year, I was really happy that I managed to get semi-erect when making out with girls.

Lately, I've regressed, and when I'm with a beautiful woman and she's completely naked, there's no blood flow or 'signal' being sent downstairs.

I'm sure it's part performance anxiety, but I'm also convinced it's physiological sometimes.

I got my testosterone levels checked, and my free testosterone is in the average - high range so no problems there.

Thanks everyone.



Screen Shot 2023-03-10 at 12.16.11 pm.png

Usually I can get hard from making out by itself. Just having that closeness with a girl is a HUGE turn on for me. It helps a lot if I haven’t masturbated for around 4 days minimum. The longer the better, but it seems to plateau after a couple weeks. I don’t seem to get any more turned on after that vs a month.

Sometimes if I’m tired or stressed I may have issues? Are you getting enough sleep each night and managing any stress ok?

[Brother_Tucker]

So there's a great resource called mojo if you want to find some exercises and content to help.

For me it gets easier the longer I've been seeing the girl. There really is a connection aspect to it that can be the difference between hard before we are even naked to not feeling it at all.

For one thing, you need to get out of an anxious frame to enjoy sex. So much of it is mental game. You need to relax into who you really are. A trap that some users fall into is pretending they are someone they are not. This can make you nervous and make the situation too tense because you're worried you will break character because you can't get it up.

When I started with this, I had tight pelvic floor muscles that made it harder for me to get an errection. Mojo gave me some stretches and breathing exercises which helped with this dramatically. I also was just honest with girls. I told them we were going to have a great fucking time regardless, but my engine doesn't always start, it's not because I don't want to fuck them. Most of them were really understanding, or took it as a challange to earn my D. It made things easier because I felt accepted either way.

While the lessons you will learn from here and the RP community is to fake it until you make it, you really need to become the person you're pretending to be. If you want to be that guy that has casual sex and a rotation of 3 girls every week, you need to accept the sexual side of you and operate on the basis that you actually want this and are not just chasing this to impress strangers on the Internet. It's a tough place, but you can beat this. You have to own it and truly accept rejection in order to start feeling comfortable for casual sex.

[ziva]

Hey everyone,

Slightly hesitant to make this post, but I really do feel you will all be honest about your experiences.

Do you often need direct contact (hand stimulation or blowjob) to get an erection?

Or can you get an erection from making out/kissing only?

I know there's no right or wrong, but I'm in the process of trying to better understand my own body.

A couple of times last year, I was really happy that I managed to get semi-erect when making out with girls.

Lately, I've regressed, and when I'm with a beautiful woman and she's completely naked, there's no blood flow or 'signal' being sent downstairs.

I'm sure it's part performance anxiety, but I'm also convinced it's physiological sometimes.

I got my testosterone levels checked, and my free testosterone is in the average - high range so no problems there.

Thanks everyone.



Screen Shot 2023-03-10 at 12.16.11 pm.png

Yeah that's definitely performance anxiety. I've got it too. When I make out with a girl without having to stress about getting hard, I can get hard from just kissing. But when I need to get hard because she wants to have sex in 5 minutes, all of a sudden my dick doesn't stand. You can't be stressed and horny, and being horny gets you hard.

[Sparkles]

I was actually having some problems with ED - not severe, but I often lose my erection while I'm putting a condom on, or after I've been fucking for 10+ minutes. I managed to get some Cialis from my doctor.

This shit really works, fellas. I didn't get soft AT ALL fucking a girl for 30+ mins straight. And the erection comes on so quick - like think about sex and 10 seconds later, boiyoingggg. Only side effects were a bit of gas and a minor headache - easily fixed with OTC painkillers.

So, I fully recommend Cialis. I guess I don't *need* it but it helps with my "performance". It would be nice to fix my ED without drugs though.

[Sparkles]

For any dudes who want to try ED drugs, I would recommend experimenting with the dose. Derek from More Plates More Dates (and Tim Ferriss) talk about this concept of the "minimum effective dose", which I think is hugely important for any substance you take. The MED is the smallest dose which generates the desired outcome. Above the MED, there are diminishing returns - you may get a *slightly* better outcome but you'll get an even greater increase in unwanted side effects. More is not always better.

E.g. for Cialis, your doctor will probably give you 10mg pills. You probably do NOT need that much. Even old grandpa whose dick don't work probably doesn't need that much - let alone a young healthy guy. I started on a full pill (10mg), and it worked great, but I'd always get awful headaches afterwards. I tried half a pill, and am now taking a 1/4 pill (2.5mg) on demand. I still get minor headaches, so I might even try 1/6 or 1/8.

[colgate]

i'm on like 25+ days of nofap and cold showers and approaching girls everyday and i can't stop getting boners