I think the issue here is not understanding reality. Looking at porn, or looking at girls in a club, is a passive act in your brain. Its not engaging with another person. This type of arousal is real, but its of a completely different nature than sex with a humanThrice wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2024 6:46 pmi dont understand, i simply want higher libido, not porn. i want to fuck girls not jerk off to porn. It's not a fantasy and make believe, i remember the days i had great libido and just looking at girls in the club made me hard, now i need cialis when i'm with a naked girl in bed...
I don't mean this condescendingly. I didn't realize it myself. There is no comparison between what I experience by myself and what I experience with someone engaging with me directly. They are qualitatively different, and in many ways, someone engaging with me is actually inferior (at least for a long time).
In the modern world, a naked girl in your bed, directly in front of you, for the first time is very likely to generate zero arousal. There's too much of the other person there for you to get aroused. Their presence, realness, and otherness is foreign and overwhelming and pushes out the capacity to get aroused in the way I used to get aroused. First it requires getting desensitized to these new elements, but even after that it requires building an entirely new arousal blueprint. That shit takes a while, and your old arousal pathway that didn't involve actual real people engaging with you is competing with the old one.
Let me give a more clear cut example that can illustrate this. If you filmed a porn of you fucking a girl. Its very likely you would find watching that porn to be more arousing and erotically satisfying than actually fucking her, and you can directly experience how the nature of that arousal is entirely different from the arousal you had from the act of fucking her was.