Adam's Self-Improvement Log

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Adam
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Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
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Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:23 pm

Hey All. I haven't posted an updated in a few days. I binge-ate Thursday night and was embarrassed to post that I ate 3000+ calories on a random weeknight a few days before my weight-loss goal deadline. Has anyone else dealt with and hopefully gotten rid of the habit of binge-eating? On most days I eat well enough to slowly lose weight, but when I binge on an extra 2K calories, it essentially nullifies the previous few days of deficit.

@KillYourInnerLoser: Have you or Immogen ever talked about what she did or is doing to work on her binge-eating? That's my big issue and I don't know how to work on it a little bit each day, because by its nature it's something that pops up intermittently rather than every day.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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Manganiello
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Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:30 pm

Adam wrote:
Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:23 pm
Has anyone else dealt with and hopefully gotten rid of the habit of binge-eating?
Yeah got rid of most of it. I still get it from time to time.

Track your triggers.

Mine are
- boredom
- Having a day where I don't want to be accountable to anything
- Lack of sleep
- Low motivation


Not a complete list. It's hard to catch because when you need to catch it, is also when you least feel like catching it.

I think what's helped me the most is pouring on painful reasons why overeating will be the death of everything I care about and all my dreams.

It's not an in the moment thing. Like I don't think that right before I think about eating something. I have to journal about it, like on the weekend, and then that feeling of disgust towards overeating lasts a few weeks, or months (depending how intense the feeling is). That usually stops the overeating for me anyway.
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Toast
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Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:46 am

What kind of foods are your eating throughout the day? Could be you're eating poorly and not becoming fully satiated, and as a result your calorie intake skyrockets.

Before you snack as well, try and drink some water or something. A lot of the time people are dehydrated, and binge eat to fill that desire. What I've done to try and curb my binge eating is to try and eat better things to snack on. Popcorn is low calorie, and very filling, along with drinking 0 calorie sodas, and sparkling waters.

Also if you adjust your diet in the mornings and evenings as well. Substitute everything for lower calorie options. Light mayo over regular. Turkey bacon over Regular. These small changes add up over the whole day.

For example a breakfast of 2 whole eggs, 2 pieces of toast and 2 slices of bacon = ~500 calories
Where as 2 slices of turkey bacon, low calorie bread and 1 cup of egg whites = ~350. And is way more filling

I have a major sweet tooth, so the biggest change for me was switching to 0 calorie sweeteners. I eat French toast all the time to fill that craving, but substitute it for a low calorie alternative, using eggwhites, low calorie bread, and 0 calorie maple syurp. If your worried about sweeteners being harmful, then just research what different types of substitutes are better and healthier.

Hope this helps. Over eating was a problem I had in the past, but adopting a low calorie diet has given me pretty good results so far.
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Adam
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Sun Mar 07, 2021 9:17 am

Toast wrote:
Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:46 am
What kind of foods are your eating throughout the day? Could be you're eating poorly and not becoming fully satiated, and as a result your calorie intake skyrockets.
Thanks for the input, man. I stick to meat, vegetables, eggs, sweet potatoes for my regular meals. Filling stuff. The binging isn't a result of hunger, unfortunately. More an emotional thing where I'll have the urge to eat junk food when I'm stressed or bored or feel bad about myself. But yeah, I totally agree with your diet suggestions. Food choice is huge, and it helps me get the hunger side squared away. Just need to fix the mental/emotional side of things.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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Adam
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Name: Adam
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Sun Mar 07, 2021 9:20 am

Manganiello wrote:
Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:30 pm
Track your triggers.

Mine are
- boredom
- Having a day where I don't want to be accountable to anything
- Lack of sleep
- Low motivation


Not a complete list. It's hard to catch because when you need to catch it, is also when you least feel like catching it.
I did this as a writing exercise earlier in the week. It helped. I definitely get that "not wanting to be accountable to anything" feeling. Liking binging is the way that I take a break from everything that I'm striving towards. All my responsibilities - even the ones I've voluntarily taken on - get shrugged off while I'm eating junk. Obviously I need to set up other ways to respond to those triggers.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
Thebastard
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Sun Mar 07, 2021 7:43 pm

My friend, I thought I was going to be eating 100000% clean and transform myself into a 8% body-fat muscles in his teeth adonis by the end of Q1 2021.

Instead of that I don't think there has been one day in the last fortnight I didn't order ubereats junk food and just like you 'shrugged off' all the responsibilities whilst wolfing down an extra-cheesy calzone.

It is an emotional need we are trying to fill here. Stress, isolation, fear often with a few unfortunate events can do this to a man. I went through what just about everyone I know went through from exactly 1 year ago. Being locked inside an apartment with very little human contact and no legitimate way to get those dopamine hits in a healthy manner.

Depending on what kind of person you are, it might be that you will hit rock bottom and bounce back more disciplined and determined than ever. It won't last forever.
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enjoyablehat
Posts: 282 | Thanks: 48
Joined: Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:15 am
Name: George
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Age: 26
Motto: Consistency is key
Location: Boston

Sun Mar 07, 2021 9:43 pm

Note - this escalated as I started writing so it's a a bit long... this one's straight from the heart and a little brain in there. This is mostly from my personal experience with substance abuse. Things will vary individually. It's hard to be universal here and I'm not a coach at this. This is written more seriously than I personally treat bingeing and overeating...but maybe I should start treating it like this


Great points from @Manganiello @Toast and @Thebastard

I also had a few binges recently (previous 3 weekends either Saturday or Friday night). @KillYourInnerLoser's advice was basically to make "not binging" it's own habit (more on my experience doing this before Andy framed it like this for me below - I tried to incorporate this idea). How often have you been binging?

For me a "true binge" is eating absolutely anything I want and as much as I want - I usually make a very conscious decision and tell myself "fuck it I'll have anything I want". It always goes poorly - it's like I cut my own brake pipe. For me this is worse than drugs or getting wasted - it's got this veil of just being food so it doesn't seem as threatening so it's harder to put squarely in the camp of "this is bad and never OK". The kinds of binges I've had should never be ok - but telling myself that won't fix the issue.

I think the approach is two fold (next 2 paragraphs are the first part) - start with just the habit of not doing it - the relapse will make it so much easier to do again so the biggest thing is every single day get in the habit of not binging. You can't let yourself think to hard - but it's not as simple as "just don't do it" - so you have to preempt it EVERY SINGLE DAY by telling yourself you're not going to do it. You can't just say today "OK I"m done I'm not going to do this again" - it's a constant ongoing process. Sometimes a switch will just flip, but that switch will only start the process - you need to be conscious of it EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY. YOU NEVER KNOW WHICH DAY WILL BE THE DAY YOU BINGE AGAIN - you never fucking know - you have to be on top of it.

The first few days won't be bad. You'll have some bounce back motivation. Personally - I wouldn't eat ANY junk food or whatever guilty pleasure you have. Might not work for everyone but start with a snickers bar and then you might start justifying more...and more...and more... Days ~5-15 are my fucking danger period. I start feeling good again, start doing not being as hard on myself (note - don't be that hard on yourself, but keep yourself in line), Every day you need to remind yourself what your goal is - for this issue it's not just "lose weight" or "eat healthy" - it's NOT BINGING. There's so many times I looked at the scale and was like "wow great progress George, you can take it easy today!". No. @KillYourInnerLoser loves little rewards and for some tings I think it can work. For these issues I absolutely cannot give any ground. I don't always binge or go off the rails when I reward myself or let myself take it a little easy - but my bad experiences definitely started with taking it a little easy or a litlte reward or temptation. The reward / indulgence is not the issue in itself though - it is just another straw on top of whatever other stuff you are going through then - and the more things you add the easier it is to let your guard down. The goal here is DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. As you get to the ~3 week point (or whatever point that is for you, it's not about the days as it is the feeling/thoughts) you will have made a solid habit of not bingeing and it will start to feel like it is not a part of your life as much. The longer from your last binge the less inclined you will be to relapse (still keep your guard up it's very possible).

The second part is the mindset change. This is more a result of the first part and literally not bingeing. The longer you go without bingeing the more you will ingrain it in your head that it is just not something you do or really want to do. You cannot just tell yourself that and expect the mindset change to happen. It's like confidence - you don't get confident one day then go conquer the world - you say fuck it, go do a bunch of things, and your confidence is built along the way. This is not so different. If this part is the long term meta / macro part, the first part is the short term, micro. At the start you just HAVE TO STICK TO IT. Every fucking day don't do it. Stare yourself in mirror and say you won't do it. Fucking live it and breath it. (note I didn't get this intense about my issues, I just didn't do it and didn't give up ANY FUCKING GROUND.) If the assertations or talking to your self or whatever help, then do it.

If you stop long enough for the mindset change to sink in, a one time or infrequent relapse will not crush you into submission. Yes you will feel bad and know you fucked up, but as you work on the mindset (BY BEING SERIOUS ABOUT THE HABIT OF NOT BINGEING FOR A LONG TIME) you will defeat it and be above it. I can indulge in my vices occasionally and not get back into old habits or get fat as fuck because that is not the long term mindset. I will say I did have a switch one day flip in my head - but this just gave me the strength to tell myself "I WILL fix this". The danger period is still dangerous. For some people they can never do what they were doing again - I know several alcoholics and druggies that stopped and will never touch it again. That may or may not be what you need to do. You will definitely have to think like that for a time - but for me the short term / micro "habit side" of it eventually handed the baton over to the "mindset" / macro side and again - I still indulge occasionally but I am the master now. Again this is from my experience with substance abuse - like I mentioned above it's easy not to treat food as that much of an evil/bad thing - probably why I'm currently getting out of a binge rut.

I also mentioned "don't be too hard on yourself" - that definitely applies, but just like this is an emotional issues and a justification issues - you need to take the emotions out of it. You binge and you feel bad, then you start feeling better, you decide to eat good, you binge. No more emotions - just analyze. There is a cycle and it needs to be broken. Take the emotions out of it. Don't feel bad. You binged , so do a lot of people, I binged last weekend. Recognized it and remind yourself you're not going to do do that. Go to your pantry/refrigerator/grocery store/convenience store whatever, stare at the fucking food and scream at it (or in your head if you're in public..or quietly) "FUCK YOU, I DON"T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT. YOU CAN'T FUCKING BEAT ME I AM GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT AND SHOW YOU WHO IS THE REAL BOSS" ....also note I didn't do this...but it might help mentally.

I kind of winged this so let me know if something doesn't make sense but at the end of the day the devil is NOT , NOT NOT NOT in the details. You have to stop feeling bad, stop thinking hard about it - just make it your goal to break this cycle. I just scrolled up to see what you wrote again and I realized this might now seem like a bit of overdoing it on this - but you know what - that's how seriously you need to take it. Because food and added sugar and all this shit is sneaky bad - it's always around, it seems okay, and that makes it easier to justify - which is the key to an emotional problem like this. I'm still working on it and I'm going to come back to this post to remind myself how seriously I need to think about what this means because like I mentioned I am also working back out of a rut on this. Even if you lose weight week by week don't let that fool you into not breaking this cycle. A reward will definitely be okay at some point - I've had great cuts where I had a solid (but not absolutely eat all the food I want) meal once or twice a week. I would not do this. I personally am not going to do this. As much as I like the mental break, with food it's too "harmless" seeming for me to give any ground. Fuck this shit - I'm eating clean till the summer
Current Goals:
Get a new job
Fix Sleep
Stay consistent with eating and improve health habits
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Adam
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Name: Adam
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Tue Mar 09, 2021 6:32 pm

I'm not ignoring your response @enjoyablehat , just need to reread it a time or two before responding. There's a lot in there. I like the framing of "building the habit of not binging".
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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enjoyablehat
Posts: 282 | Thanks: 48
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Tue Mar 09, 2021 8:56 pm

Adam wrote:
Tue Mar 09, 2021 6:32 pm
I'm not ignoring your response @enjoyablehat , just need to reread it a time or two before responding. There's a lot in there. I like the framing of "building the habit of not binging".
No worries! I winged it pretty hard so it came out a bit disorganised plus I don’t think I’ve been able to get through reading a post that size on any forum/Reddit but appreciate you coming back to it.

Agreed on that framing Andy put it that way and it really made relaying my experience easier because I’ve never really been able to explain to people otherwise
Current Goals:
Get a new job
Fix Sleep
Stay consistent with eating and improve health habits
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Adam
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Tue Mar 09, 2021 10:30 pm

An update on what I've been up to. I didn't hit my February goal of 170.0 lbs because of the binge-eating. However, I'm happy to say that I haven't had any sugar since Sunday the 31st. So there's an 8-day streak of no sugar and thus, no binging. If I do binge, it's always on sweets and it always starts with a small sweet. So I'm not eating Fruit either. All carbs are coming from veggies and sweet potatoes. Though I haven't been counting calories, my weight is slowly trending down. It tends to do that if I skip sugar altogether.

I made myself a list of writing exercises that I've been working through a little each day. They're similar to the exercises I used when I did NoFap years ago. Prompts to remind myself of what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and to set up a plan for when I'm strongly tempted to eat sugar. So far it's working. My original plan was to continue this through the rest of the week, then take a cheat-meal on Saturday the 13th. But as @enjoyablehat said, I'm trying to replace a habit here. So a longer period of abstaining is probably better. 12 days isn't bad, but it's not enough to change the habit. Agh. Maybe I can give myself some non-food reward each week as I build toward 30 days. I haven't decided yet.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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enjoyablehat
Posts: 282 | Thanks: 48
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Name: George
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Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:43 am

Check out the analogy in this article: https://renaissanceperiodization.com/th ... intenance/

Don't have to read about thing - the point I like from here is that you should do everything to a T for a set period of time, then be a little more lenient for a bit before tackling the next goal.

Another thing I like is that being strict for a period get's more "over the hump" or let's me break through a sticking point, or just pick up a new habit. I did really bad in school my first year of college, sophomore year to turn it around I was like - I may not be as smart or capable or whatever as anyone else, but I am going to absolutely outwork everyone in my classes; if that's not enough then at least I gave it an honest effort. Went from a 2.8 freshman year to a straight 4 all of sophomore year ---- BUT !!!!! I did not work as hard as possible the entire year. First semester I was super diligent for maybe the first 1/2 to 2/3 of the semester, second semester more like the first 1/3. I actually did better towrads the end of each semester studying less, but doing things really strict, being on my ass about being diligent and not dicking around made me able to be more efficent later. Just another option to think about - maybe spread out the "rewards" if you do that - I like having periods of taking it easy for a bit (for example, cut hard and strict/diligent for 1-2 months or even less if you want, then take it easy for a few weeks, repeat until you're happy or want to bulk)
Current Goals:
Get a new job
Fix Sleep
Stay consistent with eating and improve health habits
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Adam
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Tue Mar 16, 2021 5:32 pm

enjoyablehat wrote:
Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:43 am
Check out the analogy in this article: https://renaissanceperiodization.com/th ... intenance/

Don't have to read about thing - the point I like from here is that you should do everything to a T for a set period of time, then be a little more lenient for a bit before tackling the next goal.
That's a good article. And I think you're right. I took a small cheat meal this weekend which turned into a full on binge. Felt like crap the next morning. So the new plan is to go till the last weekend of May with no sugar. That includes fruit. I think it actually takes less willpower for me to just cut out sugar entirely than for me to eat in moderation.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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Adam
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Name: Adam
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Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:15 am

1 week of no sugar down. 10 to go
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Thu Apr 08, 2021 11:50 pm

Hey guys. I haven't posted in a while. I was hoping to come back with a long no-sugar streak and announce that I was back on-track with my diet goals. Dumb. Unfortunately that hasn't happened. I haven't gained weight but haven't lost any either. I've stayed right around 170-171. Had almost a two-week streak, then fell off. Then almost a week, then fell off. I should know better by now than to try going it alone so I can just brag about my progress without sharing the process. Well, I won't say that's over because I don't want to make empty promises, but at the very least I'll post how I did yesterday.

Diet (main goal): X Ate some fruit, but didn't binge.
Bedtime: 1:00. Not too good. The aim is go to bed at 11:30 each night as I start work at 8:30.

Today's weight: 171.8

Goals for the week:
- No sugar for the rest of the week.
- 12:00 bedtime on Friday and Saturday nights
- One more gym session (did 2 so far)
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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Adam
Posts: 393 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:53 pm
Name: Adam
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 34
Motto: Become someone you admire

Fri Apr 09, 2021 2:05 pm

Today's weight: 170.8

Yesterday's Goals:
Diet: Success. No sugar
Bedtime: Success. 11:30.

Plan for today is to hit the gym after work and do some swiping on the dating apps tonight.

Update on my dating life: The past few weeks I've been seeing a girl I met on Tinder. Super sweet girl. Easy to talk to and fun to hang out with. But she very definitely wanted a relationship and was not at all open to something casual. I ended things with her last weekend because I don't think I can commit right now. Part of me wants to be exclusive and thinks a girlfriend would be great, but another part of me really wants to date a bunch of girls and get more sexual experience before committing to one woman.

I've been going back and forth in my head all week over whether I should really maximize my attractiveness and get the "player" phase out of my system or if I should just try to find a girlfriend. And alternately feeling good about breaking things off with this girl and feeling like I made a huge mistake. I only ever kissed her and we never went any further, but I still got really attached over the course of 8 or so dates. I suspect that a lot of this inner conflict comes from lack of experience. Even as I type this I feel like I'm being whiny and think that I got way too invested in a girl that I never even slept with. Before I ended things, I felt kind of ambivalent about her and saw plenty of things I didn't like, but all this week I've been thinking about her like she's some kind of ideal woman. Emotions are weird.
2022 Goals:
(1) Get Abs
(2) Get to 15 lifetime lays (currently at 10)
(3) Move to a new city with lots of single girls - DONE 6/12
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