Jonathan makes a discorery

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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jackBruh
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:21 am
Name: Jack
Goal: Slay demons
Age: 26

Wed Mar 24, 2021 8:05 am

I admit I've never been in as bad a spot as you. But I've been in some pretty dark places, depressed from about 14 to 21, even passively suicidal at one point. Best advice I can give is self acceptance. It's ok!! Your feelings are completely understandable, and a reaction of your environment. Just gotta take it one day at a time, you seem somewhat hopeful that you can change, which is all that you need.
Take it slow, your brain WILL change. It's made to. Small steps. If you currently have 7 100% bad days a week, then do small things to make them 90% bad. You're working out again? Awesome, that's one hour or so where you feel ok. Eventually that 90% will turn into 80%, then 70% and so on. Maybe you'll have a miracle and have one good day a week. Keep it up! Then you might have two, or even three.
But just remember, that you are who you are. You might not like it, but IT IS POSSIBLE TO CHANGE. You might not have improved as much as you wanted to, BUT THAT'S OKAY. And you have to tell yourself that.
Start a daily gratitude ritual with a calendar reminder/alarm. Just one good thought a day. Start with one, and work up.

You've got it

PS. I wasn't planning to, but I ended up doing shrooms one time and it really helped me, something you could try?
Goals
- Get better photos (✔, formal, group)
- Get a tattoo (✔)
- Get back to the gym (aiming for 80kg 10%) (1/2/3/4 plates ✔/✔/✔/80%)
- Work on location independant income so I can move countries (said fuck it and moved countries before the income)
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dashedhopes
Posts: 179 | Thanks: 232
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:20 am
Name: Tristan
Goal: Increase Sub Count
Age: 27
Motto: Anything is better than nothing.
Location: Canada
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Wed Mar 24, 2021 11:07 am

MattsCrib wrote:
Tue Mar 23, 2021 11:28 pm
What is BAD about me being nice? No shit I put my own needs before me - EVERY BODY does? Please help me.
Nothing. Tell em to fuck off if they say you're too nice then.

Just don't be a bitch and let people walk all over you. No one needs to be a dick in order to succeed in life.
MattsCrib wrote:
Tue Mar 23, 2021 11:28 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Tue Mar 23, 2021 11:28 pm
What can I do to change myself? PLEASE. I sound like a broken record for over a YEAR now. Please, I beg you. Anyone. Talking to girls doesn't help.
I already put up web blockers, this DOES help, but it still doesn't fix anything.
Create small goals and do them. Start eating more per day, might even make you feel a bit better cause it seems like you don't eat enough. Get your veggies in (actually helps my mental health). If I go a few days without veggies and then I have some veggies, I feel a lot better so I ensure this is a priority each day.

Celebrate your rewards and be grateful like Jack said. He mentioned some great gratitude stuff.
MattsCrib wrote:
Tue Mar 23, 2021 11:28 pm
How do I feel LOVE? How do I start feeling LOVE towards girls? Please. A person should NOT live without love. I can't get therapy due to covid.
How is suicide NOT a valid option for guys like me? (I WONT DO IT). How do I fix this?

Edit:
Also, why is the thought of sex so repulsive? Why does it make me angry? Why does anything animalistic make me so frustrated? Why do people WANT to do that?
Why don't people want a proper, wholesome relationship? Both men and women? WHY do guys want to be so dominant? How does it make you feel? Good? WHY?
What does this feeling feel like? is it... Happiness? Joy? Just... Power? I don't get it.

How do I start feeling LOVED by girls?
Are you a virgin?

I feel like any dude that has had sex and shared a real bond with a woman they wouldn't be saying this stuff.

I don't have that much experience with dislike or hating women or why guys do this? Maybe they were hurt by a female at some point and don't trust them?

Why do you hate sex? Is it because you're not having any? Because girls won't have it with you?

You can do something about this. We were all losers that didn't have sex at some point and switched it around and you can too.

Depression sucks man. Sorry that you're going through that. But you gotta take more action and work towards being better and feeling better.

I've been so down in the past and systematically over time, I've added/eliminated things from my life (alcohol, supplements, drugs, video games etc...) and feel much better than I used to.

I either add or subtract something from my life and see if it helps me.

Things like alcohol and drugs have a very negative effect on my mental health so I don't do them anymore. (minus some psychedelics from time to time cause they're less severe)

Certain supplements like 5-HTP, NAC and Kratom have a very positive effect and very little downside, which I utilize to help me when I'm down.

Write down what you want in life and then outline how you would achieve these then break those things into small goals in order to achieve them.

Then get started. Get hungry and strive for it every day.

Hope any of this helps.
27 years young.

Tristan - Canada

Youtube Channel - https://bit.ly/2CbEbKK (Road to 1k Before End of 2022)
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dashedhopes
Posts: 179 | Thanks: 232
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:20 am
Name: Tristan
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Age: 27
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Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:38 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 2:43 pm
I really don't know. It's mostly because I had a culture shock when coming to college - I didn't know that people want sex that much, I didn't know that people actually enjoy sex more than love, I didn't know girls want to be fucked etc. The girls in my class (hs) had very similar problems to guys - we wanted relationships, but mostly couldn't find a suitable person. It's like once I got into college, I realized that people are way more animalistic than I am. Girls HAVE wanted to "seduce" me etc., but it's in a sexual way, not in a wholesome way as in "you're actually a decent person" etc. I have absolutely no idea why I've made sex this negative thing in my mind.

It's like animalistic = sexual = gruesome = evil = what bad boys/fucbois get = what I have no intrinsic want to be, what makes me feel good vs humane = romantic = wholesome = good = what decent people want = what I actually want to be like and what makes me feel good,

The only chances I've had with girls were girls who wanted to cheat on their boyfriends w/ me. No shit I get this negative attitude towards women.
I WANT women to WANT wholesome shit, because I ACTUALLY like being "beta", but for some reason evolution or culture just... Doesn't work that way.
I feel like I'm placating to your feelings and thoughts and it usually fuels people like you.

So I'm done doing that. You need to do shit.

Some people like casual sex some don't that's not crazy.
MattsCrib wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 2:43 pm
What I want in life?

1) One, average looking, maybe 5-6/10 looking preferably virgin girlfriend (probably impossible)
2) Doesn't intrinsically like sexuality that much, doesn't think of sex as this "beautiful thing" and is mostly sexually repulsed
3) Is intrinsically attracted to "humane" values like virtue, calmness etc.
Yea it's not going to happen dude.

And likely this is just going to make you more resentful later.

You legit need to just get laid so you can have some realistic thoughts about this shit.

Honestly, stop thinking about the world in these ways. It's like poison for your mind and you're not going to change anything. Literally never...

Accept that and move on.

Try to get laid, cause that's the first step to finding someone that you'll truly love and have as your girlfriend.

End of story.

Please don't respond with a bunch of weird shit about how you can't do this and write me a wall of text.

You need to get laid and kill these thoughts you have.

Cause right now, you're just some weird incel loser and you think it's normal for some reason.
27 years young.

Tristan - Canada

Youtube Channel - https://bit.ly/2CbEbKK (Road to 1k Before End of 2022)
Wifty
Posts: 173 | Thanks: 123
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Sun Apr 04, 2021 3:33 pm

A man is at point A and wants to get at point Z. He says he really wants to.
He tried everything from B to V.
Didn't work.

He still has a few options left.
One of these options is Y.


He complains he can't get to Z.

He asks people for support and guidance.


Eventhough other people can't be sure of the right way to go, they still, according to logic, suggest him to go from Y.


What the man does ?


He Will go on and on again through B to V and come back and say the same things over and over.
That He wants Z.


Sure He learned a few things along the way, New things, New perspectives, but Nothing anywhere like Z.


Now the man a little more courageous goes through W.
Still didn't work.

Again the suggestion is Through Y.
Still He doesn't get it.





Bro, congrats for your efforts and your progress. I mean it.
Though, one more time.
Whilst this may not be what you are looking for, why wouldn't you Finally and once and for all go and concretely hit on girls, or do the AA PROGRAM, or maximize your social freedom to discover wether or not it would produce for you acceptable and enjoyable results.?

Because once again, you are talking about something which you didn't even touch.
That makes no sense at all.



I say this with Love.

Be brave.
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Crisis_Overcomer
Posts: 1017 | Thanks: 720
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2020 7:25 pm
Goal: Earn $5,000/month
Age: 33
Motto: Motion beats meditation

Sun Apr 04, 2021 6:00 pm

MattsCrib wrote:
Sun Apr 04, 2021 3:54 pm
What if she has a boyfriend and wants to cheat? Then I feel shitty for having the ability to hurt another guy + I feel shitty for the girl acting like that
I was gonna write a long winded paragraph about having totally disturbed expectations about how easy cold approaching is, but instead I'll boil everything down in a powerful word :

ROFL
Wifty
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Sun Apr 04, 2021 11:07 pm

The two of you simply burried my comment yet the log title is 'doesn't want to hide himself'.
Wifty
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
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Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:27 pm

I'm talking about the fact the best thing both of you could be doing right now is arrange and maximize your social freedom instead of coming up with excuses... Excuses Being trying to arrange yourselves through other means than social and sexual exposure.


Maybe you need time.


This post is mostly towards Matt but it applies to the both of you.

You have absolutely no idea how it feels and how the world looks like when you can talk to the girls you want and tell them you like them.
Otherwise you wouldn't be having the kind of conversation you have now.



You're in a place where People do concrete things to arrange themselves, they show how to and show exactly what needs to be done and how to do it.
Wifty
Posts: 173 | Thanks: 123
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
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Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:32 pm

Yet you still go your own way.


It's like Being around bodybuilders Who do this from 10 years, they tell you and show you exactly what you need to do and how you do it, and you completely dismiss their advices.



Matt, with Love. Really.


I don't have Nothing against you but

don't claim you want to change, make progress, improve your life and change your view on women when you don't apply other people's advice.


Your log is the same album over and over again.



It just makes no sense from my perspective.

I truly do not understand.


Do you really want to change or what ?
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Karter tha Don
Posts: 4 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2021 11:25 am
Goal: Lose Fat
Age: 31
Motto: The World is Mine

Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:23 pm

Wifty wrote:
Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:32 pm
Do you really want to change or what ?
I think his issues with women require a more complex solution than "Looking good and talking to women". He clearly needs help from a licensed therapist and in fairness to him, he has recognized as much but COVID has made it harder for him to see someone if I understood his past messages correctly.

My advice to him, for what it's worth, would be to completly forget about women until he gets said help, and starts taking action on himself. He needs a ' Win' in his life right now. Just set a goal and become 100% obsessed with it until he reaches it. That could be lose 5 pounds, gain 5 pounds of muscle or whatever.
Wifty
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Mon Apr 05, 2021 8:13 pm

Yh Dustin sorry mate Nothing to you.




I've been harsh on you Matt,
Karter May be right about you however when you look at a lot of guys here and Gll few of them were Same as neurotics as Matt.

But they did not make excuses.




That's the whole point Matt.
I get what you're doing and it's all right, you're doing a great job.
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Thu Apr 08, 2021 10:49 am

Really great advice from everyone here, sensible and honest - you won't see shit like this just anywhere, when I was struggling at 20-23 dudes just told me to approach thousands, I did and it didn't help me, so I must say, for some guys this is a HEALING journey as opposed to one of gaining skills and confidence with women.

Some may need to do deep work on health to become healthy, vibrant, happy, positive, and in the position where the body and brain have distressed so learning, neuraplasticity, focus and attention come easily. Once you have a platform to build from the world is your oyster.

In chronic mental distress so much becomes dysfunctional, and people soon become inprisoned.

To get healthy and motivated, high dopamine and non-neurotic is a serious undertaking and one I still am on, indeed, one I focus on every day!!

Matt you are young as fuck and you'll get there. You will figure this out. You'll find the help you need and you'll get into the healing concepts and modalities that you need to allow the best version of yourself to manifest.

In low dopamine learned helplessness you could take the most badass motivated goal crusher on the planet and turn him into a dude who can't get out of bed, if Tony Robbins became low dopamine and fell into learned helplessness he would be cemented to his bed browsing dark shit like everyone else on that wavelength and frequency.

Matt I have nothing to tell you because I truly know you will figure this out, you are here for a reason.

NOTE: I am glad to be a bit older because I didn't know much about a lot of the red pill or fucking black pill stuff that is out there now, all I could find online was scammy Pick Up Artist shit, which despite being a business model and money grab, was positive and gave hope. Too superficial to help me though in the end - that is why I took a healing road instead. Online culture was different then and whilst many guys like be struggled there was a lot of success also and I actually think the current state of the internet culture is just an expression of the worldwide mental health crisis.
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Wifty
Posts: 173 | Thanks: 123
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
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Thu Apr 08, 2021 12:03 pm

You know I really got the comment from Dustin about AA PROGRAM not Being for everyone and too thought about whether or not if I was Being harsh and unfair towards Matt Who really made a great work going through and further. Really.


However and that's my initial point whilst hitting on girls or doing social drills may not be appropriate now, he probably is able to ask for the time to at least 10 persons this week.
And the next week 20 people. And women too.


I suggested it long ago here.

I think It would be very beneficial to make it a personal goal to ask for the time to 5 strangers this week.
And then more next week, and aksing the time to women then.

That would be great.
Wifty
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
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Thu Apr 08, 2021 11:05 pm

No Matt,


You have to go out of the house and ask strangers for the time.

Nothing more. :lol: :) ;)
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Lord Rey
Posts: 449 | Thanks: 101
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:45 am
Name: Nicolas
Goal: Make serious money
Age: 31
Location: Switzerland/Poland

Mon Apr 12, 2021 7:28 pm

Hey man,

Firstly, happy birthday. I hope you'll have a great birthday party. :)

That's really weird to be stalked like that. Do some of your friends know you're on these forums ? If nobody knows, I don't think it's that easy to find this site for someone searching random things about you on the web if you didn't post any personal info.

But if you still want to take a break, I'll just thank you for helping me on my log topic and wish you all the best. ;)
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MakingAComeback
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Age: 32
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Sun Apr 25, 2021 9:37 am

Best of luck with it man.
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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