Mav's Log

[Mav]

8/01 - 36 Sets

Pullups - 12
Bi's - 24

Biking - 46 mins

Calories - 2,300

[Mav]

8/02 -

Didn't work out and binge ate because I got depressed. Probably just erased a weeks worth of progress at least lol.

[rydawg]

**

[Mav]

8/04 -

Biking - 62 mins

Calories - 2,100

Dropped off for two days but I'm back. Biked over 11 miles tonight listening to rogan/goggins... inspiring stuff.

Have a solid date tomorrow night with another 18yr old lol. She seems overly invested already and not sure if I'm going to be interested or nor, but will go for the experience regardless. May have another date this weekend with a cute chubby Asian girl.

[Mav]

8/05 - Went on date

Calories 1,600

8/06 -

Biking - 60 mins

8/07 -

Pullups - 21 Sets

Biking - 30 mins

8/08 - 51 Sets

Bi's - 27
Back - 24

[Mav]

Didn't track my calories past three days but have an estimated ballpark idea.

Kind of getting fed up with online "dating" and really just dating in general these days. I feel like I was born in the wrong time. Not really interested in sleeping around, especially with women who are with a lot of other guys. Even if I wanted to, the disadvantages I'm working with just make it that much harder. Pretty frustrating to say the least.

[Wifty]

You haven't got laid from a few weeks and your deep beliefs come back. It's normal what you feel and think mate.

You remember how you felt and thought when you slept with 2 different girls in one week ? I remember you sounded and looked like a completely other person I was personally in awe you could get in touch with this part of yourself so quickly and instantly.


This process needs maintenance, especially in the beginning.



Did you do something special then which led you to get laid this way ?

[Mav]

I honestly just got lucky. Right swipes and messages at the exact right time. But even then, I thought it was cool and all to be able to do something I didn't really think was possible... but ultimately not what I wanted. I'd prefer a connection over meaningless sex with random girls. Thought the first girl and I had a decent connection and seemed to be going well, then about a month in she bounced. Also hard to retain with what you're going up against... hundreds of other matches many of which are better looking, better socially etc.

Still working on getting in better shape though. But even if I got to the point where I had an elite body, fear that that wouldn't be enough.

[Radical]

The best way to find meaningful connections is to date a ton of girls

I wish there was a way you could switch the styles up because you are looking for something different but there isnt

I will say though if you want higher quality and it to feel more rewarding to you then cold approach and social circle are the way to go

[Wifty]

Fear and worry are time wasters and should not be part of the equation.


You want meaningful connections with girls you meet, fine. You need to meet them. And then open up, so that she too opens herself up.
This means drop the judgement and meet her, deeply.


It's a game and it has rules.
In order to meet more girls from dating apps you need to look good.
Then as you meet more and more girls, you'll feel better about them, and better about yourself.
This Will give you mental and emotional space to improve yourself more easily.

Then, as you Will feel better about yourself you Will have more space to focus onto the girls and open up to her.
Some Will reciprocate, some won't. It's like that.
What you want is to find the girls which Will reciprocate, opening up to you, and Who Will have similar plans ie.a deep connection with a romantic partner.


The odds of you finding out this one of these girls right now, according to your beliefs, is pretty Low.
Even if you did come to meet her, it may simply not fit because you are not congruent with yourself and do not act in respect to the rules, which imply that you do really open up and show your deepest emotions.
Also and this matters, the girl Who you May find right now May not be the most exquisite Who you could enjoy as a partner. Because People Who are together are compatible. They are compatible not according to what they say or what they show but according to Who they are deeply, and what they deeply, really believe in.

The truth always pour out. Which is why a a newbie can really beneficiate and get with a Chad because deep down, he's decided to invest himself into making progress.
Now another newbie which deep down, unawarely is not commited Will, for a limited period of time invest himself and get along with the Chad, until it becomes obvious that he's a time waster.

The girl Who would stick with you right now May feel as bad about themselves as you do about yourself.
It Will be all nice and fine but there is a high probability that at least one of you Will want to find another partner for a more rewarding relationship.
Is this what you really want ? Or do you want to be with a cool, and emotionally mature girl Who Will be with you because she loves you and chooses to be with, and not because she too lacks options ?


I'm giving you a reality check right now.
Because if you had options you would not feel so bad and such urge to get into a relationship.
Your urge comes from a place of deficit.

What do you expect from having a relationship and a connection with a girl ?
Is this someone Who loves you and accept you as you are, or something else ?

Whichever you want, you can get it.
You showed us and I know you can. Really.

Use your words and energy into supporting you achieving your goals instead of rationalizing ways to doubt it and slow you down.

It MADE YOU FEEL GOOD to meet these 2 girls.
The more you do that the better the quality of the girls you meet.
It is a fact.


It can go really fast, and it's all up to you.

[Mav]

The best way to find meaningful connections is to date a ton of girls

I wish there was a way you could switch the styles up because you are looking for something different but there isnt

I will say though if you want higher quality and it to feel more rewarding to you then cold approach and social circle are the way to go

Yeah... I probably should do offline because I get weird anxiety being out in public. Example, went to a steakhouse by myself yesterday and never felt at ease at my table. Like a low grade chronic nervousness. Then again, went on a date Wednesday and was pretty calm and relaxed, it varies. Not sure how to really fix the anxiety besides just putting myself out there, a lot.

[Mav]

@Wifty You're right. I need a mental transformation just as much as physical... regardless of my looks or whatever else I'm hung up on. Meeting up with all of these girls in the past two months has definitely been a huge boon for my mental state and has helped me shift into taking more action, while being less depressed. Also, listening to people like Goggins, Jocko, etc have helped. Still pushing through with online but the leads have dried up for now.

Definitely would prefer to be with a girl who I genuinely care about, who reciprocated that back... not the girl who "settled" for me because she lacks options. I'd probably rather be alone.

[Wifty]

Would you mind making a list of all your fears which you currently have and which are an active hinderance from Being happy ?

[Mav]

Looks and more importantly, my looks in the future as I realized it's only a matter of time until I'll lose my hair (don't think i'll be able to pull it off), especially being 5'7. It's not as big of an issue now though, it seems to have stabilized with hair regimen. Other aspects such as stretch marks, other skin issues, etc.

Feeling like I won't be enough or being replaced, being jealous of good looking guys I see in public with women (just seems like we're two different species lol), social anxiety issues, feeling like I'm running out of time, worried about making wrong choices such as with career goals. Those are all the main ones that bother me.

I'm way more content when I have some social events going on, which makes me feel more valued/validated. I don't need that much to be content either, hang out with a friend or two a few times a month, go on a few dates, maybe see the same girl for a few dates. Had a great fucking time with that first girl I hooked up with two months ago. Going out for drinks, hookah, fishing, watching movies, out to eat, etc. Honestly, the companionship is just as rewarding as the sex, maybe moreso.

[Wifty]

Yh I get that.

I felt the same way. I'm telling you none of these matter but you'll find out for yourself.

Meeting people and girls Who Will have sex with you because they want to Will Also show you that your looks are ok.

Also you are taking care of it right now so it improves with time.

About anxieties, ask girls for time and direction and get used to drop a compliment.
It is way more easy than it looks.
You do this and do not care AT ALL to their reactions.

When you'll be comfortable doing this you'll be able to ask out 50 girls/week from cold approach and that guarantees a new lay per month. At the very least.


And about your job and career, these are worries which you have and they do not help and do not add the slightest productive element to your decision process.
Anxieties, stress, jugements and so on take up a WHOLE LOT of time, energy and mental and emotional space so it's normal that you can't look at your career with 100% logic only.

A tip though which I read in a book years ago recommended by Chris of GLL.

When you want to make a decision you take a sheet of paper and draw a line for 2 columns. One for emotions the other for facts.
And you make the list about why you want to do this or not, and the pros and cons.
It helps to look at this more clearly.



I truly believe you will arrange everything like you want to.