Do Any Of You Want To Get Off The Ride? (Feeling Lonely)

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AspiringMaleStripper
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Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm

Hey all,

I've been going through a tough time lately and in my own head a lot. I'm getting older and I've had a lot of fun, but now it's getting harder and harder to maintain a social life. Not saying that it can't be done by any means, just that it's not presented to you on a platter the way it was in the 20's. With all of that going on, I still do pretty well with the ladies, but I'm finding myself in a new predicament: I'm starting to feel lonely.

I'm beginning to recognize that the swings in my life are getting greater on both the up and the down. When I'm dating a few girls and I have a lot of attention, life is good and I'm on cloud 9. When things begin to dry up though (as they do from time to time) I'm starting to feel really empty.

I'm 34 right now and still pretty young looking, so I'm not afraid of the clock ticking, but I'm just starting to feel empty inside. Banging girls and maximizing my looks to get attention is fun, but it's starting to feel a bit meaningless to me. I'm starting to feel like the only reason I'm doing this is just so I can meet "the one" or whatever. I feel like I'm playing a game, putting quarters into the machine, hoping to beat the damn thing so I can leave the arcade, but I'm on level 856 and there's no end in sight.

I'm seeing two girls right now, who are both 22, and neither one of them would want to be in a relationship with me. I've done a decent job at putting off the "fuckboy" vibe, and especially at 34 years old, I think these girls see me as a good time, but not someone they would bring home to mommy and daddy. I don't know... Now that I'm getting older it just seems like a lot of work to be going out all the time trying to meet girls. I really wish I had one good girl... But I'm also redpilled and in the year 2022 I don't even know if it's possible to have a relationship with a good looking girl.

I'm just blabbering right now, trying to figure out how I feel. Are any of you feeling the same? I know most people here are in their 20's but I'm curious if anyone else just wants to find a girlfriend? It seems like the whole fuckboy cold approach sexualized lifestyle is great for getting sex, but the road grows emptier and emptier. Maybe I'm just in a low spot.

I'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts on the matter.

Cheers
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Fuckboy Aspirant
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Fri Jul 29, 2022 2:56 pm

Sup bro, props to you for sharing such a personal thing with us all.

Honestly I don't think there's anything wrong with you for thinking or feeling this way. I believe this fuckboy lifestyle isn't for everybody and surely isn't meant to be lived forever, at least for most people.

Sure, there are guys out there at your age that will be just fine pulling this thing but I'd say for most guys it seems to be more of a phase. I don't know which one I'll be but I presume I'll eventually move on once I'm past that.

In the end it is part of human nature to seek strong bonds and connections with a partner and "settle down", we can argue but we're kind of a monogamous oriented species, even though we here are all technically seeking a "promiscuous" lifestyle, for the time being.

So if you want my opinion, I personally am a family (and thus LTR) oriented guy and I probably will end up getting myself a good girl I can move things foward in the future and what not.

I believe you should probably change your goals then and instead of continue doing the fuckboy thing, try to pursue/screen girls for what you want.

At the end of the day, as you know, it will always come down to the numbers game and screening for what you want. Good luck!
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hush
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Thu Aug 04, 2022 5:23 pm

AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
But I'm also redpilled and in the year 2022 I don't even know if it's possible to have a relationship with a good looking girl.
There are still a lot of girls who want to have a boyfriend, travel with him, marry, etc.

The problem sometimes with the redpill is the sample of girls they base their conclusions on: go on Tinder and you'll conclude that all girls just wanna ride the cock carousel. Your "study" is missing all of the girls that don't go on Tinder though.

Quote from 2 seconds of Google search:
Tinder users score higher on a measure of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. New research provides evidence that Tinder users tend to have a “darker” personality compared to those who don't use the dating app.
Tinder isn't representative of all women, night clubs aren't either.

Be careful not to create a self-fulfilling prophecy : "girls don't want to be in a relationship anymore" -> every time you meet one that doesn't it will reinforce your thought, the day you'll meet one that wants to you'll think something must be wrong with her or that it's not worth trying because it won't last.

The whole "she's not yours it's just your turn" mantra you can see on the redpill forums is a loser's one in my opinion
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AskTheDom
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Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:48 pm

hush wrote:
Thu Aug 04, 2022 5:23 pm
Quote from 2 seconds of Google search:
Tinder users score higher on a measure of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. New research provides evidence that Tinder users tend to have a “darker” personality compared to those who don't use the dating app.
So i checked it out and to access the study it's 15$ - the dark triad tends to be a predictor of male success with females but the sample here is a bit small (270 people)
Also:
"Tinder users who were using the app to find someone to have sex with also tended to have more Dark Triad traits than Tinder users who were using the app to find a romantic relationship."
Bottom line = players tried to get laid all means necessary - what a shocking news :D

I'm all in for cold approach and that the red pill sometimes is more "doom pill" - I would simply advise to understand the water and navigate properly
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MakingAComeback
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Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:56 pm

Theoretical discussions are not encouraged on the forum, theyre considered mental masturbation. The focus here tends to be on action, so we typically post things like this within logs. Do you have a journal? If so, feel free to post thoughts and feelings in there, we'll read and contribute value.

This thread will perhaps be locked shortly, but not because your discussion isn't valueable. I'll chime in:

I want to have had an elite dating life, and then CHOOSE a woman to be my wife & mother of my future children.

Have it mapped out. Want 3-4 kids. 3 years between pregnancies. Will need a younger and healthy partner to do this with me, lol. This will be 12 years of work for the gal. And we will be raising them from my 40s into my 60s!

My Dad had 2 kids at 30 (me and my bro), as well as 2 houses fully paid off. I am from a family of extremely hard working, old school, blue collar people who just put in 80-100hrs a week of work and saved for decades. Family was the most important thing in life.

Then I am raised in Western culture as a brown guy, and an unattractive one at that, so I came into this from a very low SMV. In my own journey, I have seen that to get a quality gal is hard work. I have so far been unable to even come close. I have accepted how hard this task is for a low SMV guy and have embarked on a 5 year journey to become a top level male. Best way to do it IMO is become a high value man, achieve true abundance and success, then make a personal choice of the best quality gal one can find.

The idea of loneliness in my 40s and 50s is scary. I have had that feeling for most of my life, I will do what I must to avoid it.

I never came here because I wanted to be a player, I came here because I didn't understand why I couldnt get ANY form of attention from women. Now I have begun to make progress in that, I am just going to keep improving myself until I am finally able to get quality.

You find a love in the art, in the struggle, in the grind. There is freedom in the discipline of walking this path. A satisfaction from cleaning yourself out from hard work.

These things can be fixed and measures can be taken to ensure long term success. Life is a gamble, nothing is guaranteed. But with the process, there is glory and happiness from knowing you are giving everything you have to give. That motivates me.

MAC
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King Approach
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Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:41 pm

Just want to chime in and say I'm 33 and feel the same way, although I haven't had success with girls yet at all. However, I already know that if I started getting laid it wouldn't really matter, I'd still feel empty inside. I approached over 2,000 girls in the last year and a half, and did so in an attempt to escape the void within me. I was also remarkably unsuccessful, which didn't help.

Its unpleasant having to meet girls, get rejected by them, maybe get laid with one or two rinse and repeat ad infinitum. Looking at this from the big picture perspective, its clear that sustaining this type of activity over a long period of time is not conducive to a good life.

I don't think I'm in a position to give any advice, as I'm struggling with this as well, but I'd say if you don't already have a group of friends who you can hang out with regularly IRL, not online, then maybe work on that. That may be able to help with alleviating the void you feel, and its something I've been working on, but have been struggling with since making new friends is just weird, and it comes across as gay if you ask a guy if he wants to hang out lol.

And yeah, once you're red-pilled the old saying of "she's not yours', its just your turn" hits hard. Although there are definitely examples of successful LTRs, being in an unsuccessful LTR in the west is hell, as the males have very little leverage, especially if there's kids involved.
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Manganiello
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Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:01 pm

AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
I'm curious if anyone else just wants to find a girlfriend? It seems like the whole fuckboy cold approach sexualized lifestyle is great for getting sex, but the road grows emptier and emptier. Maybe I'm just in a low spot.
I'm 31 and feel the opposite. In a relationship thinking of getting out solely for the fun of banging more girls.

Honestly the girl I'm seeing now is like steady material. Good degree/job well developed and very self-aware.

...

From what I'm reading this is more about you losing your WHY.

Maybe you're done with casual dating..and that's fine.

But the bigger question is what do you really want rn? What do you know for sure that you want to have happen in this chapter (or next) chapter of your life.

Everything happens in phases. I never really cared about sex personally. But it was more about who I could become through dating. And this phase is just a proving ground.

Maybe you've had your fill and are ready for the next big thing.

Plenty of guys get to do that.


If you don't know what you want give yourself some time. Soul searching doesn't happen overnight. It can take many months to nail down what you want next.

MakingAComeback wrote:
Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:56 pm

You find a love in the art, in the struggle, in the grind. There is freedom in the discipline of walking this path. A satisfaction from cleaning yourself out from hard work.
Spot on. Just need a worthy goal.



And @MakingAComeback this post doesn't strike me as mental masturbation. If I'm wrong or if it starts going down that route I'll lock it.

@AspiringMaleStripper start looking for solutions. This isn't a place to find condolences in your problems. Hard to tell from your post if you're legit looking for solutions or not.
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1v1mekid
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Sun Aug 07, 2022 12:29 am

Manganiello wrote:
Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:01 pm
And @MakingAComeback this post doesn't strike me as mental masturbation. If I'm wrong or if it starts going down that route I'll lock it.
Agreed!
AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
But I'm also redpilled and in the year 2022 I don't even know if it's possible to have a relationship with a good looking girl.
Stop watching Fresh and Fit or whatever nonsense there is out there. Even Chris from GLL himself didn't think all girls are sluts that just come over to your house for sex. His process is meant to screen out boyfriend hunters...

@AspiringMaleStripper leave all red pill forums and limit consumption of redpill videos, blogs and articles for 2 or 3 months and see how you still feel. After some time away from the forum, you won't even care what we think anymore. You sound like you know what you want to do though, so good luck whatever you decide to do.
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Hydro
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Sun Aug 07, 2022 5:29 pm

Chris from GLL said the whole fucking women thing is "Just a Phase." Once that phase is over, where it isn't as rewarding since you have milked out the casual scene by getting it out of your system, then you start the next phase of your life.

If you believe you don't want to keep on smashing women, that's perfectly fine. It is just a phase. Start the next chapter in your life friend.

Andy talked a little bit about this in an article and then expanding about it.

Here's the link to a passage which will link to the article: https://killyourinnerloser.com/getting- ... 0rewarding.
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Astronaut
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Sun Aug 07, 2022 8:29 pm

I was in your situation before and ended up jumping into a relationship too soon, that then turned sour pretty quickly. Only advice I can give is take that shit slow, watch out for red flags, and consult here on the forums if you’re not certain. Certainly nothing wrong with relationships, it's just a whole different ball game, more complicated, and not automatically more "fulfilling" or "better" than casual dating. In fact it takes a huge amount of effort to keep a relationship being "fulfilling" after 3-6 months when the holiday phase wears off. 10x more effort than switching out a FWB for a new one.

From your post I can see a couple of things you might want to dig deeper into.
AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
I'm seeing two girls right now, who are both 22, and neither one of them would want to be in a relationship with me. I've done a decent job at putting off the "fuckboy" vibe, and especially at 34 years old, I think these girls see me as a good time, but not someone they would bring home to mommy and daddy.
The way you phrase it sounds a little weird. At the end of the day, it's not about them wanting to be in a relationship with you or not. It's about YOU wanting to be in a relationship with them. Would you want to try a relationship with one of them? If not, then why even care if they'd like to have a relationship with you? All you'd have to do is to tone down the "cold fuckboy vibe" (whatever that means), I mean that's entirely in your control, right? Or what is it that is so horrible you're doing that somebody would never consider being in a relationship with you? Maybe stop doing that?
AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
I'm curious if anyone else just wants to find a girlfriend?
Yup been there done that, went terribly. Takeaway is keep dating your FWB's and trying new ones, if something good happens it'll happen out of the FWB relationship. One step at a time, and be slow to promote.

I'm starting dating again right now, and for sure if a special girl comes along that matches what I'm looking for (have a list from my last relationship), and we have a similar outlook on things, then yeah why not. Have enough experience by now to know that those girls are pretty rare, but they are out there.
AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
I'm 34 right now and still pretty young looking, so I'm not afraid of the clock ticking, but I'm just starting to feel empty inside. Banging girls and maximizing my looks to get attention is fun, but it's starting to feel a bit meaningless to me.
Fucking around is indeed a pretty meaningless activity, even though it can be fun. Women are more like a necessary add-on to your life, not the center of it. The question of finding meaning is pretty complicated in its own right, usually involves working for something that is greater than you. Can certainly say though that you won't find meaning in women, whether relationship or simply banging.
AspiringMaleStripper wrote:
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:48 pm
But I'm also redpilled and in the year 2022 I don't even know if it's possible to have a relationship with a good looking girl.
You're shitpilled bro (apologies for rudeness, just couldn't resist). I've been there myself. All that AWALT shit, etc. I agree with the previous comments that you should take a break from those forums. They have a lot of good stuff there, but once you've read the sidebar and internalized it, the rest is just practice and adjusting as you go. Blindly sticking to their rigid philosophy does more harm than good.

It is possible to have a relationship with a good looking girl.
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colgate
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Sun Aug 07, 2022 8:58 pm

Manganiello wrote:
Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:01 pm
this post doesn't strike me as mental masturbation
whether it's mental masturbation or not, i think these kinds of isolated "vent" threads are still outside of the spirit of the forums. i personally think it is mental masturbation

and then everyone else hops on to vent as well because it's not coupled to a person's log.

i prob should have said something earlier before a bunch of other guys decided to pour their hearts into this thread

quality of the forums would drastically increase if we only allowed guides by community members in non-progress log threads and banned random questions imo. the emotional/introspective ones are even worse

@AspiringMaleStripper i wish you posted these concerns in your personal log instead of making a new random question thread where now everyone just vents
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MakingAComeback
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Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:08 pm

colgate wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 8:58 pm
Manganiello wrote:
Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:01 pm
this post doesn't strike me as mental masturbation
whether it's mental masturbation or not, i think these kinds of isolated "vent" threads are still outside of the spirit of the forums. i personally think it is mental masturbation

and then everyone else hops on to vent as well because it's not coupled to a person's log.

i prob should have said something earlier before a bunch of other guys decided to pour their hearts into this thread

quality of the forums would drastically increase if we only allowed guides by community members in non-progress log threads and banned random questions imo. the emotional/introspective ones are even worse

@AspiringMaleStripper i wish you posted these concerns in your personal log instead of making a new random question thread where now everyone just vents
Agreed man, normally these posts are situated within logs, so people can post practical advice and orient things towards action.

The precedent of situating this type of discussion within logs works well and was the standard Radical typically encouraged.

Without having a framework focused on action surrounding, it becomes a discussion in a vacuum - mental masturbation.

Also makes other members time more constructive. If people are using logs and taking action, we can work together and help.

Most dudes post threads like this and go back to their comfortable lives. Thats not change is it.

MAC
POSITIVE SELF TALK

GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
(1) 0 to 10 Lifetime Lays (Current Status: 8/10)
(2) Beat AA
(3) Body Transformation: Ripped Abs & Elite Build

My Progress Log: Outworking God's Plan - My Relentless Journey

My Free FB Group (Wellness & Human Potential)
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