colgate - first instadate of the year!!!

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
Contact:

Tue Sep 13, 2022 10:28 pm

Manly Cockfellow wrote:
Tue Sep 13, 2022 10:20 pm
Is this girl another virgin?
No she's not. She had told me the first time she had sex, she didn't want to do it.

The fact that she was so emotionally closed off most of the time means her feelings are legitimate.
💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

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Mimbe393939
Posts: 145 | Thanks: 399
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2022 11:46 am
Goal: Learn Japanese
Age: 26
Location: Japan

Tue Sep 13, 2022 11:46 pm

You are truly, one of the most inspiring, dedicated guys in this space.

Have not met someone who literally TOOK THE PLUNGE, said FUCK MY SITUATION. Moved out and shipped himself to improve himself without hesitation, no complaints even as a newbie, and grew astronomically from it.

They ain't built like COLGATE that's for sure, without a doubt.

Listen to this man, TAKE THE FUCKING PLUNGE.

It's nice to see how full circle this space goes, guys help you out when you're new, and you help the new ones who grind, when you're more experienced.

One of the best communities by far, IF you're not a little cry baby bitch, and is willing to work.

From the one getting the room, to giving it

This entire story from start to finish just shows you the type of men that KYIL shapes them into, when they use this site seriously.

BIG THINGS ARE COMING.
MY STORY - viewtopic.php?f=40&t=1423

PUBLIC PROGRESS LOG - viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1430

Difficulty shows what men are. Epictetus
The world turns aside to let any man pass who knows where he is going. Epictetus
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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:08 am
Goal: Lose fat
Age: 29
Motto: Push It Past The Limit

Fri Sep 23, 2022 12:35 am

Brown guy here. Don't listen to the internet at all, the value of brown dudes has gone straight through the roof in recent years. The only guys going around saying that brown dudes aren't desired are losers with no life experience on the internet or low value/loser brown dudes who cannot own up to their own failures in life and blame it all on race. Then some clueless imbeciles just regurgitate whatever some incels spam all over the web.

I've known brown dudes who have gone to foreign lands and had women want to take selfies with them and sleep with them on the same night.

We wrote the book on fucking, it's called the Kama Sutra.

All of that bullshit you read on incel forums and Black Pill blogs is by losers from our race who can 't own up to anything in life or sour haters who just want an ethnic group to target and are way too fucking scared to say anything bad about groups that would seriously put them in the hospital.

Literally every brown guy I have known who looked like he lifted and had some game pulled like crazy. Only people denying that are people with zero life experience who get all they know about life off the internet.

Speaking of, I got some spicy life updates to share for all of you soon :)
7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Fri Sep 23, 2022 10:23 am

KEEP WORKING BROWN MAN

The struggle is real, but as we say, we are dogs, so we will work like dogs ;-)

KEEP HAMMERING,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
Contact:

Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:44 pm

🐶 THE BULLDOG DIGEST 🐶
ISSUE 281 - September 18, 2022

bazonkers chick: 3rd date, intentional nopull
story continued from: viewtopic.php?p=42513#p42513

Last time I had ranted about how I made even less progress than previously, and the girl tried to pin me with “trauma” and that she needs to “know me better”.

I mentioned previously that the plan for next time would be to take her on a deliberate rapport date and then immediately go home without pulling.

I took her out for skeeball bowling near my place. We ordered drinks, played some arcade games, and then did some bowling and had fun.

I was touching her and holding her waist at various moments, and she was receptive to that.

Additionally, I got a strike at some point and pulled her in to makeout in that moment.

Then I told her I had to go tutor @Mimbe393939 in Japanese.

She leaned into me expecting me to kiss her before I saw her off. Good sign.


6'5" plate
I invited the 6'5" chick I took the virginity of over on Sunday evening. Told her I would take her out to dinner.

She showed up dolled in a hyper-slutty lavender dress with pink sprinkled long acrylic nails.

I immediately tell her that her dress is very cute.

She's never had Asian food (she's from bumfuck nowhere) so I took her out for that.

By the way, I actually like spending money on girls because I love flexing my unlimited money 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎. Plus I'm a misogynist and think girls should just stay at home and do girly things like design clothes and get their nails done. "oh no but i want 2 split the bill..." how about u chumps get more money LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we were walking to the Asian restaurant, I get her to talk about her new school semester and some new clothes she bought.

i bought 3 of these kinds of dresses
ok so you’re basically only going to wear the purple one for me

As I am working on trying to embrace and create tension in my life, I thought about trying to kiss/makeout with her in the restaurant. I have kissed in public before, including as I just mentioned in my 3rd date with the bazonkers chick so I was visualizing myself doing it. I kept getting somewhat closer to her, but ended up not being able to make the move.

Paid the bill, and started walking home.

when i was playing basketball, one time coach told us we couldn't touch a basketball for 2 weeks because we had to get ready for a big game. so i went out to get some piercings and my nails done with my sister

AWESOME!!!

Back at my place, we pretty much immediately go to my bed.

I fakeout the makeout a few times, and then go for it while she looks at me with dopey doe eyes.

Then I whisper to her to, one at a time, take off various articles of my clothing, in between various makeouts.

now i want you to unbutton my shirt
now i want you to take off my shirt
now i want you to unbutton my jeans
now i want you to take off my jeans

Her dress is hyper hot and I actually don’t want her to take it off.

It’s actually a huge turn on when a girl is wearing cute clothes and can be hotter than fully nude (thanks anime!). This was one of those times.

you’re actually going to leave that dress on this time, but take off your panties

Then I unhooked her bra through her dress…somehow…I think I’m getting better at unhooking bras lol.

I pull her titties out from under her dress and look at her,
then look at them,
then look at her,
and then go to suck on her titties spilling out of her dress.

now i want you to bend over
why?
because i’m going to put it in obviously

I thought it was funny that she had to ask that even though she knew what I was going to do next.

She bent over, I got into position (the only position I’ve figured out how to fuck this girl in), and…

1
2
3
4

EEEEGHGHHGGHHHHHHHHHHH…..

I held it in her for like 20 seconds when I realized if I do another thrust, I’m literally going to burst.

what the fuckkkkkk how is this humanly possible

maybe it’s because i spent far more time than usual doing foreplay and i literally couldn’t handle it anymore

ok let’s pull out and just get this first round over with so i can fuck her properly for round 2….

I makeout with her while jerking off and come.

and then I don’t get hard again

uhhhhh ok

I “smoothly” segue into asking her what TV shows she’s watching right now.

I was hoping that cuddling and watching some TV on my laptop would get me turned on again.

But honestly, even after 2 hours of watching TV, I didn’t really get turned on again. And I honestly just…enjoyed cuddling her and watching the show?

After the TV, she had school the next day so she couldn’t stay over (I was hoping she would so I could potentially fuck her properly)

So basically…really long foreplay and then extremely short sex???



hehe~ u ripped my dress a lil bit
now you’re definitely only wearing that for me



...


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colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
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Mon Sep 26, 2022 1:52 am

スクリーンショット 2022-09-25 19.54.09.png
will explain later (this is a one-way ticket btw)
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💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

🥰 dating log
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Manly Cockfellow
Posts: 449 | Thanks: 358
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2022 8:14 pm
Goal: Become the men I fear
Age: 37
Motto: Mk no smll plans; thy hv no pwr to stir mens blood

Mon Sep 26, 2022 2:11 am

Oh Lord, those poor little japanese cuties have no idea what's coming...

God speed bulldog 🫡
User avatar
colgate
Posts: 919 | Thanks: 1775
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
Name: bulldog
Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
Age: 27
Location: japan
Contact:

Wed Sep 28, 2022 9:01 am

🐶 THE BULLDOG DIGEST 🐶
ISSUE 283 - September 27, 2022

bazonkers chick
It took me a while to get around writing about this girl because I was mainly just annoyed with her, but I know I have to write about it eventually, so here it is.

4th date
This date happened last Thursday.

She had come over to my place and baked me a cake and a pie.

While she was stacking the cake and putting in the strawberries, she asked if the giant chefs knife we have is the only knife we had. Since we’re in a bachelor pad, we pretty much don’t have all of the basic utensils LOL!!!!

I had taken a butterknife, stood behind her while holding her and put the butterknife near her throat as a joke:
here’s the knife

I did this because I thought it would be funny and I wanted to ramp up the tension. I think she laughed it off.

When she was done preparing the cake, we sat on the couch and I turned on some nonsense generic TV show. We ate our cakes and then spooned on the couch.

I started making out with her on the couch, and then said let’s go watch some more stuff in my bedroom.

We head to my room, and for some reason the wi-fi was out on my laptop so I just put on some music I had saved on my laptop.

Then I started escalating on her as usual, making out, being over her, etc.

I got her overshirt off, and I got her to feel my chest through my shirt, and then take off my shirt.

Then I unhooked her bra while we kissed.

I tried to put her arms through the loops of her undershirt to take it off, but she didn’t budge.

I got up off of her and she…

immediately re-hooks her bra

wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m like pent up and aroused out of my mind.

I try making out with her here and there, etc, blah blah.

I try getting her hand over my pants, and she basically resists repeatedly.

I notice the makeouts get less enthusiastic and she reciprocates less.

But I am wayyyyyyyyyyyy too fuckin pent up to let this slide.

I literally just whip my dick out and start jerking off.

I do one…two…three pumps

holy fuck……………..i’m about to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hold my dick for like 20 seconds, unmoving

with no additional pumps….

MAYDAY!!!! ABORT ABORT!!!!
MOUNT COLGATE IS GONNA ERUPT!!!!!!!
EVACUATE THE TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FU-



Mount colgate has unleashed its contents into the stratosphere! (halfway up to the ceiling)
Perhaps it’s even gone into space (the ceiling fan)!?!!???? (no it didnt go that high but it was pretty close)
The town is no longer, any poor soul dawdling in the town is now a fossil preserved in ash. (the cum splattered and covered both of us)

I clean us up and then realizing that I've gotten nowhere after four dates, I realized I’m going to have to have a talk with her.

I take us out for a little walk, and then sit on some benches at a nearby park.

i am looking for an relationship where we both are intimate and have a connection

i think we have the connection part going, we have met up four times now and we have fun, do you agree?
yes
but i need the intimacy. it’s going to be hard for me to continue to see you if we don’t do that. we haven’t progressed anywhere since the first date
it’s hard for me to open up physically without an emotional connection first
what does that mean? do you want me to text you more? we can call and chat outside of meeting up you know
i mean…yeah….
i’m not expecting us to go all the way on the next date, but i at least want to see some progress or else i don’t think this is going to work out

I walked us back to the apartment so I could see her off.

Then we walked to her car
yeah, text me when you want to call, i’ll make time for that


She stood there and wouldn’t go inside her car.


…do you want to go for a drive and talk now?
yes!

So she put away the cake materials in her car and we headed off to my car and I started randomly driving around.

what are you looking for?
well as i said earlier, i’m looking for intimacy and a connection
so…do you want that with multiple girls or just one girl
well, right now i would go on dates with others but if you and i click, i won’t really want to see other girls

I thought that was an ok answer at the time, but I realized all I did was be super mousy and answer the question in a way to avoid the potential pain of getting a rejection, and it was very indirect.

I basically tried to “logically pigeonhole” her question. More on that in the Takeaways.

I tried to dig deeper into why she was so averse to doing anything physical.

im being open and showing you that i like you and it’s all fine until you close up and it makes me feel like i’m not sure if you like me
i just dont want to get ghosted…
why would you get ghosted, if we’re intimate i would love spending more time with you and we will have a lot of fun
yeah you say that, but then i still get ghosted
i’m clearly looking for something beyond a one night stand, why would i take you out to the farmers market to make curry, and then see you four times so far? and the last date we had fun at the bowling alley right?
yeah
so clearly i want to do things other than just being at my place, but it’s going to be hard for me to want to continue to do that if we don’t advance
you say that but one time a guy made pasta for me, and then he still ghosted me
that literally doesn’t make any sense. in any case, i’m already 26 now. i’m done with the hookups, if i wanted hookups i would just go down to broadway and get it.

Anyway I don’t 100% remember how that conversation ended but it did at some point, and we started talking about more lighter and fun topics.

We basically drove around to random bullshit Nashville suburbs for around an hour and I was asking her about the various places we were at.

She kept calling every random town racist. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then we got back to my place.

i’m also on a new birth control that gives me weird periods (????) so sometimes i won’t be able to be intimate
lol i dont really mind
yeah but i do

I walked her to her car and kissed her goodbye.

5th date
Before the 5th date, we had this conversation over text:
スクリーンショット 2022-09-28 2.43.51.png
At the park, we walked to this lake area with ducks.

I put my arm over her, but she basically just starfished. Like she just let me put it there but didn’t reciprocate or come closer to me. uhh ok

Then we walk around some more and I find a swinging bench for us to sit down.

I have my arm over her, but she’s just still kind of closed off.

As a final test to see what’s up, I go for a makeout. We kiss for a little bit.

But she’s starfishing there too. I’ve kissed this girl 8-9 times already, so I know what she’s like when she’s into it and when she’s not.

And this just felt like I was putting my lips on top of some sex doll’s lips (…not that I would know)

After sitting in silence for a few minutes…

why are you seeing me?
…i don’t know
last time i said that if you want us to keep seeing each other i expect some progress physically
yeah i know you want more sexual things
i mean yes, but i’m not even talking about that. just now i’m putting my arm around you and you’re just sitting there doing nothing.
i can’t open up physically until we have an emotional connection though

This is where I got hyper male autism mode because I hate hearing the word emotional connection omfg. Pretty uncalibrated conversation from this point on, but I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s happening.

I understand now (after debriefing) that “emotional connection” boils down to “she feels like it, she wants to be led, she wants to do what you want to do” but HOW???????????????????????????????????????

so what do you need from me to have an emotional connection? i respond to your ‘how’s your day going’ texts and i told you that you can let me know if you want to call
i…don’t know…
i mean ok so you don’t know. but i’ve laid out pretty clearly what i want. i want to have sex with you. and way more than one time. guys will emotionally open up to you if you open up physically to them, but we’re guys so we need the physical thing too. we’ve met up several times and had a lot of fun, we had a lot of fun going bowling and making curry right?
yeah….
and it’s like we’re doing this fun stuff where we’re both enjoying each other and it’s going great, and then all of a sudden i want to show that i like you, and as i’ve said earlier i like to be physical when i show that i like someone, but then you just close off. i’m not seeing other girls (eghh lie) do you need me to commit to you so you quit closing off? you said in the text you need me to say that “explicitly” <— this lie is super incongruent which probably threw shit off
i also recognize that you are showing me that you like me i presume, by continuing to meet up and doing things like baking me a cake, which i appreciated by the way. but it feels like we're trying to shoot arrows at each other that are totally missing each other
well we’re not even in a relationship so it’s fine if you’re seeing multiple girls, and i don’t want to just get into a relationship so we can get physical
also, you just keep pushing and pushing even when i say no
you’re talking about the second date, and i apologized about uncovering your trauma, and i wanted to just have fun with you on the 3rd date. we had fun then, right?
yeah….
so i don’t know if you still have like unhandled trauma or what…
i already handled my trauma! you dont need to bring that up
ok well in that case then i don’t see what the issue is. you’re not going to find some guy who’s just going to only be emotional with you without having some kind of physical connection too
that’s not true! i know two guys like that!
then why aren’t you dating one of them???
i just don’t see them that way!
ok well i’ve laid out what i want pretty clearly and if you’re not down for that, we don’t have to continue seeing each other
yeah, i guess we don’t have to see each other
ok but you’re going to have a pretty hard time finding a guy who supposedly wants what you want

There were various points in the above exchange where she started randomly shaking a bunch and almost tearing.

We sat in silence for a little bit and then I had us walk around for a bit. I tried to lighten up the pretty somber mood with some nonsense commentary on people in the park, and we petted some dogs.

I decided to try to probe if she wanted to hang out longer to potentially talk or if she wanted to end it for sure.

do you want to go straight home or do you want to go on a drive
we can go home

So we got back to the parking garage of my apartment. I dropped her off from my car this time and she dashed out of my car.
スクリーンショット 2022-09-28 3.45.19.png

Takeaways: forwardness and directness
I took so long to write this report because it just annoyed me and I wanted to just push it aside. But it had to be done.

I had a long call with @Manly Cockfellow regarding this chick and the dates I’ve gone on with her.

The huge lesson here is something that is pretty much basic knowledge, you can’t be indirect when dealing with girls. As in, you can’t just mouse around and try to make any progress.

For example, I think it was a huge mistake to use the word “intimacy” rather than “sex” on the fourth date. It didn’t make a difference that I later used the word sex, because I had already set the frame as “I’m being indirect”

But I think this experience with me being so indirect with answering this girl’s questions on the 4th date highlights to me the specific reasons why that is the case.

She had asked some pretty polarizing questions, such as “are you looking for that with multiple girls or just one girl”

And in the moment, rather than doing something effective, I wanted to “avoid the potential pain of rejection”.

So I answered in the way that was congruent with “avoiding pain” over TAKING THE PLUNGE. I didn’t TAKE THE PLUNGE here.

What would have been effective would have been being far more direct and blatant. For example:
so…do you want that with multiple girls or just one girl
i’m not committing to a single girl right now. we’ll have to see where things go and i may consider it in the future, but right now i won’t commit unless i really like you
colgate wrote:
Tue Sep 13, 2022 10:02 pm
(current-situation) or (what-you-want / negative-outcome)
(current-situation): awkward nonsense where she’s closed off but still meeting me
(what-you-want / negative-outcome): she starts opening up physically and eventually we have sex / she tells me right then and there that she isn’t down for seeing me anymore

But since I gave very dodgy answers to her questions, I got exactly the (current-situation) scenario.

Additionally I had a debrief with Troy regarding this entire situation, and have noticed a common theme in my interactions.

I’m forward, but indirect.

I’m forward because I do advance the interaction in a timely manner and I do not pussy out in that regard.

However, the way in which I try to advance the interaction is indirect. For example, I used the word “intimate” instead of “sexual”, and there’s a lot of other things I can’t explain, but I don’t think my escalation is very confident either. I feel like I’m trying to sneak-escalate on the girl instead of confidently owning up that I’m escalating on her. At least that’s what’s going on in my head.

Somehow, my baseline for trying to “solve problems” is “logical pigeonholing”, like I almost want to “cheat” the system and find a loophole to get what I want.

I’ll often do things like make it a logical impossibility for a girl to do anything except what I want. Such as “putting the drinks in my room and then asking if the girl wants a drink, and then going in my room to drink the drinks”.

And whatever vibes I give off on dates, and maybe it’s my looks too, I come off as a guy she’s seeing as potential boyfriend material.

So when I go for pulls or escalate, I’m met with lots of resistance.

And I get endlessly frustrated, because by being indirect, I’m making some kind of caricature of what I think the girl wants from me to do what I want, when it’s not actually me. So when I’m met with rejection or resistance, it angers me to no end because it’s like “well I’M not the one who actually got rejected but I’m still being punished???” at least if I could be more honest and direct and get rejected that way, I can take it as “okay, my actual proposition and desires and I myself got rejected, that’s acceptable. I’m taking personal responsibility, not this facsimile character”.

Basically, my mindset towards getting laid has been “make the girl do what I want” (through unconsciously cajoling her) when it should be “make the girl want to do what i want” (by making her feel like she wants to do it…EMOTIONAL CONNECTION????????????????????????????)

It’s what I’m missing with the whole inability to “emotionally connect” (which is what I’m working on).

This will likely be resolved by attending more meetups and social events and observing how guys who look like they get laid act and interact with people, and apply the emotional connection template I had written in my date stack earlier. I actually have a lot to say about this but it’ll be in a different section.

extreme aversion to emotional connection, caring about others’ feelings, and being empathetic
I know objectively why I need to do this. This is absolutely necessary, and I’m brickwalled until I get over myself.

Every time I hear anything about caring about a girl’s or anyone’s “emotions” I instantly cringe.

Why can’t people just be robots like me, accept things for what they are, and have fun? Why are people attach their identity to their views and feelings? Why do we have to care about the feelings about each other? If we do things that are fun and enjoyable we’ll feel better right??????

What is this magic “I have to feel like it” thing???
colgate wrote:
Tue Sep 13, 2022 9:55 pm
In this moment, I pretty much just felt annoyed. Like there is literally zero reason why I should be getting this much resistance on a second date pull where the first time was intense grinding and a handjob, and she’s just trying to stir up drama. Sure, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a lay, but we should at least have our clothes off and getting to third base here. And this feeling I had only intensified when she started trembling and crying.

It’s like I have negative empathy or something.
If empathy is being able to feel the emotion another person feels, I definitely do not have that.
I am starting to be able to perceive others’ emotions, and if I can logically deduce why they felt that way I am very sympathetic and understanding.
But if it makes no fucking sense I basically just feel annoyed and think they have no right to feel that way and they should get over themselves, “negative” empathy.
This situation was a case of the last scenario for me.

I hate that I have this “negative” empathy (I just became able to describe what exactly this was after this experience). It’s a totally involuntary response, and it is going to bite me in the ass for months to come.

If I had normal fucking emotional responses to other people’s emotions, I would be able to handle situations like this better. Not just in dating, but regular social interaction too. Maybe I’ll never be able to develop true empathy, but at least if I could convert “negative empathy” into sympathy->understanding without requiring myself to “logically understand” their feelings, then all areas in my life involving social interaction would skyrocket into another echelon (read: freaking normal lmao). The way I could see potentially making progress on this is pretty much overriding and shutting down my own emotional response to “illogical emotional responses” from other people so I can just be universally sympathetic and understanding.
I have to have to have to have to get over this. I know. BUT HOW?????????????????????????????????????????


camping trip
I’m going to Minnesota to go camping with 2 close friends until next week to just disconnect from everything for a bit (this trip was planned months in advance, so I’m not specifically doing this because of this girl lol).



…IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE BULLDOG DIGEST…
- why did you impulsively buy a one way plane ticket to japan???
- but colgate, what about the 20 lays??? what happened to the gym???
- …and more…maybe
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💁🏽‍♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story

🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log

see my interview!
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Wed Sep 28, 2022 10:56 am

THE BULLDOG BLESSING THE PEOPLE

KEEP HAMMERING G

You have inspired me to shoot some damn videos.

MAC
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Manly Cockfellow
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Wed Sep 28, 2022 4:37 pm

colgate wrote:
Wed Sep 28, 2022 9:01 am
She had asked some pretty polarizing questions, such as “are you looking for that with multiple girls or just one girl”

And in the moment, rather than doing something effective, I wanted to “avoid the potential pain of rejection”.

So I answered in the way that was congruent with “avoiding pain” over TAKING THE PLUNGE. I didn’t TAKE THE PLUNGE here.

What would have been effective would have been being far more direct and blatant. For example:
so…do you want that with multiple girls or just one girl
i’m not committing to a single girl right now. we’ll have to see where things go and i may consider it in the future, but right now i won’t commit unless i really like you
colgate wrote: ↑Tue Sep 13, 2022 5:02 pm
(current-situation) or (what-you-want / negative-outcome)
(current-situation): awkward nonsense where she’s closed off but still meeting me
(what-you-want / negative-outcome): she starts opening up physically and eventually we have sex / she tells me right then and there that she isn’t down for seeing me anymore

But since I gave very dodgy answers to her questions, I got exactly the (current-situation) scenario.

Additionally I had a debrief with Troy regarding this entire situation, and have noticed a common theme in my interactions.

I’m forward, but indirect.

I’m forward because I do advance the interaction in a timely manner and I do not pussy out in that regard.

However, the way in which I try to advance the interaction is indirect. For example, I used the word “intimate” instead of “sexual”, and there’s a lot of other things I can’t explain, but I don’t think my escalation is very confident either. I feel like I’m trying to sneak-escalate on the girl instead of confidently owning up that I’m escalating on her. At least that’s what’s going on in my head.

Somehow, my baseline for trying to “solve problems” is “logical pigeonholing”, like I almost want to “cheat” the system and find a loophole to get what I want.

I’ll often do things like make it a logical impossibility for a girl to do anything except what I want. Such as “putting the drinks in my room and then asking if the girl wants a drink, and then going in my room to drink the drinks”.

And whatever vibes I give off on dates, and maybe it’s my looks too, I come off as a guy she’s seeing as potential boyfriend material.

So when I go for pulls or escalate, I’m met with lots of resistance.

And I get endlessly frustrated, because by being indirect, I’m making some kind of caricature of what I think the girl wants from me to do what I want, when it’s not actually me. So when I’m met with rejection or resistance, it angers me to no end because it’s like “well I’M not the one who actually got rejected but I’m still being punished???” at least if I could be more honest and direct and get rejected that way, I can take it as “okay, my actual proposition and desires and I myself got rejected, that’s acceptable. I’m taking personal responsibility, not this facsimile character”.
I agree with all of this.

Be honest and direct about what you want -non-monogamous sex and dating- and what you don't want -a monogamous relationship-, because you're not trying to trick women into having sex with you by pretending to be their boyfriend, you're trying to find the girls that want the same thing as you!

colgate wrote:
Wed Sep 28, 2022 9:01 am
Basically, my mindset towards getting laid has been “make the girl do what I want” (through unconsciously cajoling her) when it should be “make the girl want to do what i want” (by making her feel like she wants to do it…EMOTIONAL CONNECTION????????????????????????????)

It’s what I’m missing with the whole inability to “emotionally connect” (which is what I’m working on).
I don't agree with this at all.

NEVER TRY TO CONTROL SOMEONE ELSE'S BEHAVIOR LIKE SOME EVIL PROFESSOR X

(or like Kilgrave from Jessica Jones: https://www.marvel.com/characters/kilgr ... /on-screen)


Instead, be honest about what you want, offer her something of value (great sex and fun dates with a healthy, intelligent, attractive man who is a good cook, musician, financially successful, experienced traveler, helpful to his friends, etc) and only continue to see women that want the same thing you do!


The best thing about being direct and honest about what you want and what you are offering is that it IS LITERALLY THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THING YOU CAN DO, because it screams I am a healthy man who has options and standards, who will not settle for less, and who will not hide what I want out of fear of rejection.


So many guys on this forum have A LOT to offer women. It's time we started acting like it.
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seanconneryfan_
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Wed Sep 28, 2022 5:26 pm

to piggy back on what manly said, when you were talking to her your "relationship", what was your goal? sounds like you were trying to negotiate yourself some pussy
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MakingAComeback
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Thu Sep 29, 2022 7:59 am

Great episode of the digest.

Lover / Provider distinction.

When she puts you in beta provider category, her brain goes on resource-extraction mode.

It's what happened to you. Your resources in terms of ATTENTION/TIME are literal crack cocaine to these hoes. It's the most precious thing in the world to them.

The second their brain switches into that mode, they'll just bleed you dry.

4 dates and nothing - she would have banged an alpha first date, gauranteed. We've seen this happen many times. It's the law of the jungle.

No reason she didn't leave one of your dates and go smash another dude. This happens ALL THE TIME and has probably happened to us both a few times.

Direct, dominant, and sexual.

If no traction - show her the fucking door IMO.

Ravi
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colgate
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Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:48 pm

Manly Cockfellow wrote:
Wed Sep 28, 2022 4:37 pm
I don't agree with this at all.

NEVER TRY TO CONTROL SOMEONE ELSE'S BEHAVIOR LIKE SOME EVIL PROFESSOR X

(or like Kilgrave from Jessica Jones: https://www.marvel.com/characters/kilgr ... /on-screen)


Instead, be honest about what you want, offer her something of value (great sex and fun dates with a healthy, intelligent, attractive man who is a good cook, musician, financially successful, experienced traveler, helpful to his friends, etc) and only continue to see women that want the same thing you do!


The best thing about being direct and honest about what you want and what you are offering is that it IS LITERALLY THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THING YOU CAN DO, because it screams I am a healthy man who has options and standards, who will not settle for less, and who will not hide what I want out of fear of rejection.


So many guys on this forum have A LOT to offer women. It's time we started acting like it
i think i know this in theory and we talked about it too. as @seanconneryfan_ pointed out i really was essentially kind of trying to "negotiate myself some pussy"

the reason i had stumbled upon this behavior was because
- i had not been putting in the work to generate more options as of late so i felt like i had to put all my eggs in one basket for this girl (even though i could just start working on other leads and generating new ones, i had been trapped by some kind of "sunk cost fallacy"

- it can be said i'm a "high value guy", and i have traits such as
Manly Cockfellow wrote:
Wed Sep 28, 2022 4:37 pm
healthy, intelligent, attractive man who is a good cook, musician, financially successful, experienced traveler, helpful to his friends, et
but i don't know how to express that in a way where it benefits me.

i guess now and then certain ones will help me at specific parts of the process (having a curry date, pulling using my own music, having a nice apartment, etc), but i haven't yet figured out how to present "my current package" in a way to girls that gets me what i want, which is basically literally sex. having plates and retention would be nice but i want just girls who will have sex on the first date.

and maybe it's impossible right now because the package itself still needs to be improved significantly as well, but if you understand my dilemma here then I'll know how to be more direct with who i am and what i want with girls to girls instead of resorting to mousy tricks.

and maybe you can give me some feedback on how i can present myself in a way to get that
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seanconneryfan_
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Fri Sep 30, 2022 4:08 pm

you express that you value yourself and that you have a dope life through actions. it's really quite simple, if you are an awesome person, then your life is a reflection of your genuine desires and needs. i have a hard time believing that you genuinely want to talk about a relationship instead of fucking. go find someone else who fits the role you need played in your movie.

i'll dm you how i set up today's date and how direct i was. i know what i want in a girl and relentlessly filter for it thru action.
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Manly Cockfellow
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Fri Sep 30, 2022 11:05 pm

colgate wrote:
Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:48 pm
but i don't know how to express that in a way where it benefits me.
Do this:

viewtopic.php?p=37953#p37953

And I'm not trying to be a smartass here.

I'm telling you to focus-on/prioritize what you want, and on you having fun.

Because that is what high value men do, and it is very, very attractive.
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